GodandMe2theMax

Exposed - a Christian or a fraud?

Matthew 5:16  "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they will see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

2 Corinthians 6:3  "We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will no be discredited." 

2 Corinthians 6:17  "...come out from among them and be separate."

I recently read a book about a secular guy who decided to write a story about what it's like to live as and be a Christian.  He went incognito in a Christian setting with young adults his own age.  He chose his words carefully to lead everyone to believe he was a Christian.  He wanted to live with Christians, understand them, understand the Bible, and then compare what he was being taught to how he was actually raised.  He joined prayer groups, praying right along side others.  He joined the choir.  He joined Bible Study groups.  He even went on a mission trip.

I struggled as I read the book..so much so that I'm not even sure I would recommend it to someone.  (Thus, the vague description and no book title listed!)  You see, this guy's final words were something to the effect that most of the Christians he met were no different than his secular friends, and to him, that was a positive thing.  He had overcome his stigma of Christians.  In that sense, Christians were portrayed in a good light...kind of a FOX news 'fair and balanced" approach.  However, it killed me to read his words of how most of the Christians he met were no different than him. 

In the end of his five month Christian indoctrination, the author ultimately did not change his beliefs that there was only one way to get to heaven.  No, his core beliefs didn't change, but his pre-conceived negative slant on Christians did change.  He learned to pray, and he kind of liked that feeling of praying for others.  It made him feel better.  He also found out that serving others makes you feel good, even if you're not serving God.

As I read the book, I really tried to have the same "fair and balanced" approach.  Certainly, I didn't agree with the author's world-view, but I did appreciate the evidential fact that he was trying to understand it all without casting judgment.  There were times that I wanted to write a rebuttal to some of his comments about Christian beliefs that were taken out of context.  In the end, I think it was good for me to read it, because it just enlightened me to my need to be different. 

Think about it.  What if one day you found out that your best friend was hanging out with you, going to church with you, and praying with you---just for a story.  How would you be portrayed in the book?  After finding out the author's real "mission", one of his friends told him, "Man, I wish I would have known.  I would have acted differently."  It pains me to see and read about people who claim to be a Christian - a representative of Christ - but they live their lifestyle no differently than the person who doesn't give a rip about God. 

Reading the book challenged me to live out 2 Corinthians chapter six and especially the verse listed above in Matthew 5.  "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they will see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."  Good works and being a good person don't get me to heaven.  But because of the relationship I have with Jesus Christ, the natural bi-product will be good works.  People should be drawn to Christians, if they are living the way God would expect them to be.  If someone told me I was just like everyone else, I would be devastated and embarrassed.  Sure, I like to fit in with the crowd, wear 'in style' clothes, look good, etc.  But my lifestyle should represent Christ in every aspect so that anyone could observe me and know without a doubt that I have a growing relationship with God.

Here's some questions to ponder...

1.  Do I have friends in my circle that do not have a relationship with Christ?
2.  Am I any different from those friends?
3.  If someone wrote an expose about me, what would they say?
4.  Would I be exposed as a Christian or a fraud?
5.  Do I have a growing relationship with the Lord?  (Bible reading, times of confession, prayer)
6.  Am I conscious of my sin or the sins I struggle with?
7.  What am I doing to actively reach friends who do not know the Lord?
8.  Do I even care?

If you are one of my friends who do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please talk to me.  Email me.  Consider choosing Christ.  Living the Christian life is not about a bunch of rules and regulations.  On the contrary.  I have such joy and freedom because I know Who I'm anchored to. 

Just think about it.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Monday Memory Verse - Matthew 18:15 - Confrontation God's Way

Matthew 18:15  "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.  If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."

{This story is used with permission from my husband Frank, so if you know him, please don't take offense.}

On a recent family vacation, my fourteen year old daughter Amber heard some other teenagers at the hotel pool trash-talking my husband and I.  Specifically, she heard one of them say something about "the fat guy in the hot tub."  Now, there were only two people in the hot tub - Frank and I.  I'm certainly no dude, so the only logical target of the trash talking was Frank.  As a side note, in case you do not know my husband, the mental image that one would concoct of "a fat guy in the hot tub" is not a fair assessment.

Now, we had no idea what was being said, but Amber did, and she felt the need to do something about it.  Upon hearing them bash her dad, the protective assertive daughter that we have reared kicked in.  She swam over to them and very calmly and directly said, "That 'fat guy' in the hot tub -- yeah, well, that's my dad, and he's actually pretty cool." 

Can you imagine the look on the girls faces when Amber confronted them?  First of all, they had no clue that the "fat guy in the hot tub's" daughter was just a few feet away.  They also probably never imagined a teenager would actually defend a parent, let alone praise them.  Needless to say, the trash talking stopped...immediately.  Amber wasn't nasty, she was just firm, honest, and direct.

Now, certainly Amber's confrontation of those girls in the pool is not an example of Biblical confrontation, nor is it an example of what the verse for this week is specifically talking about.  Amber could have easily just ignored the problem and not been disobeying the instructions Jesus gives us in the verse.  Matthew 18:15 is talking specifically about what Christians should do when other Christians have offended them.  However, the concept is similar. 

Confrontation.  For most people, it's not easy.  What is easy is ignoring a problem, sweeping it under the rug, or running from it.   Unfortunately, churches are filled with transfer members.  These are people who got upset at their church and instead of trying to resolve the issues, they just left in search of a "better" one.  Having been in the ministry most of my adult life, unfortunately, I know countless of these Christians.

For me, confrontation comes rather easy.  I've told my friends many times that if I'm upset or offended by something, they will hear it from me first.  When my relationships go awry, whether with family or friends, I can't sleep.  I hash things over in my brain until I'm nearly sick.  I need to resolve matters so life can move on for me.  That's how I'm wired.  However, this strength of confrontation for me also comes with a weakness.  I often have such an urgent need to resolve issues that sometimes I do not always choose the appropriate times to get things settled.  My weak area isn't in the confrontation; it's in the timing of the confronting.

Let's break the verse down in more detail...

If your brother sins against you...
Jesus specifically tells us that confrontation should take place when we personally are involved. 

go and show him his fault...
This is the tough part.  No one is perfect.  We are human.  It's so easy to be offended by another's comments or words or to offend someone with ours.  If confrontation is necessary, remember Philippians 2:3.  It's a great companion verse to memorize when dealing with relationship issues.  "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than themselves."  We must have the right heart attitude and ask God for help when it comes to actually confronting the situation.  Remember, "the tongue has the power of life and death."  (Proverbs 18:21) 

Just between the two of you.
Friends "sharing" with friends is one of the most dangerous things in today's churches.  In plain English, most of the time it's just gossip - and sin.  If you need a sounding board, it's best to talk to someone completely removed from the situation who doesn't even know the parties involved.  But, Jesus specifically says to work it out one-on-one. 

If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
Aside from contrary belief, confrontation is not something to dread.  When confronting in a Biblical way, with the right heart attitude, and speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), it can be a beautiful thing.  I have personally witnessed my damaged relationships be restored by taking care of things the way God would want me to.  Sometimes it has taken years after I've confronted situations before the relationship has been restored.  Still, some others never get back to the point that they were before the conflict, but those are few and far between. 

On the flip side of confronting someone who has offended you, sometimes it's me who is being confronted because of my loose lips.  Ouch!  That's even tougher to handle.  It's never easy to hear something negative about myself.  But sometimes the truth hurts, and I just have to face it.  I have to pray for an open mind.  Acknowledge the truth.  Ask for forgiveness.  Learn from my mistakes.  Choose to love.  And choose to move on.

Obedience is what God expects from us.  The verse is not a suggestion.  It's a conditional command.  Jesus says, If your brother sins against you, go."  If you read through the rest of this passage, it's clear that the instructions Jesus gives are for in the context of the church, Christian to Christian, and it also includes church discipline. 

Today I've personally had to face the truth about a relationship I hold dear.  I've had to admit how I've been wrong and hurt someone I love.  But because I've not shoved it under the rug or ignored the situation, because I've dealt with it the way God would want me to, I believe the relationship is now back on the path of restoration and growth.

So next time you hear "fat guy in the hot tub" (or anything that digs deep) -- deal with it in a Godly way.  That's one expression that will never be forgotten in my family!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Monday Memory Verse - Psalm 34:8 - Try Him, You'll Like Him!

Psalm 34:8  "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

 

 

When my kids were younger, I used to bribe them to try new foods. We would go to a buffet, and I would say, "I'll give you a dollar if you taste this."  Usually, they would take me up on it just to get the money, but sometimes the 'looks' of the food or the 'smell' would keep them from trying.  My son would never have learned that he loves sweet potato casserole if I hadn't done that.  I might also add that both of my children know without a shadow of doubt that they will never eat another brussel sprout again because of my tactics.

Do you know the feeling when you put a piece of chocolate in your mouth and all the endorphins are released as it melts and trickles down your throat, causing your mouth to salivate even more?  (OK, perhaps only women can relate to that experience...)  But think about it.  Do you ever feel that way about God?  Can you TASTE Him?  Do you soak up His goodness and savor Him as much as you savor your favorite food?  Do you have that "mmmmmm" feeling when you spend time with Him?

I have several friends I've been praying for that don't have a relationship with Jesus. I try to talk with them about the Lord and explain to them how incredible a relationship with God can be.  Yet, for whatever reason, some do everything in their power to deny the existence of God Himself, and some simply have no desire to understand what being a Christian is all about. They are happy with life, and that's all that matters. As I think about this verse, I just keep coming back to the fact that if they would just TASTE God, they would understand why He's so good.

Why?  Why won't they give God a chance?  Why won't they TASTE Him?  Like my kids at the buffet, is it because of how we (Christ-followers) look?  Is it because those of us who call ourselves Christians don't resemble Christ in how we act, day in and day out?  They see Christians as either hypocritical bigots or crazy people who are so caught up in heavenly things that they are of no earthly good.  Is it because of how the world portrays Christians in television and movies?

Or do people not choose to follow Christ because of how we 'smell' to them?  Do we swallow our pride and admit when we're wrong and ask for forgiveness?  What kind of odor do we give off to those around us?  How many times have you heard someone say, 'and they're supposed to be a Christian!"  

 

When I worked at the American Automobile Association (AAA) years ago, before I ever started, the manager gathered up all the employees ahead of time to warn them I was a Christian and my husband was a pastor in the area.  By the time I arrived, as you can imagine, I had some serious walls to tear down.  I remember talking to one of my friends at lunch one afternoon who was talking negatively about someone else and said, "she's one of those born-again Christians."  I just looked at her with amazement and said, "Well, I'm a born again Christian!"  Her response, 'Well, you're a different kind of born-again Christian."  It's sad.  There shouldn't be two different kinds of Christians.  Our life should match our talk, and our talk should match our walk - always.  Do I leave a sour taste in the lives of those I meet?  Do I give Christ a bitter name instead of a sweet one filled with honey?

O Taste and see that the Lord is good!  The only way someone can taste the Lord is by personally experiencing Him.  I can't just "take your word for it."  It's a personal interaction with God.  How I wish I could just persuade some friends, like in that old Life cereal commercial, "Just try Him, you'll like Him!"

 

Then the second part of the verse says, 'blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."  Unfortunately, our part of Texas has a lot of tornadoes each year.  When we hear the sirens going off, the whole family knows right where to go.  We go to the strongest part of the house where we know we'll be safe.  That's the same way with God.  Whether the storm is approaching or passing, He is there to be our safe place. 

 

I'm challenged even more so today to live a life of purpose so that people will notice something different about me.  I want to live my life so that people want to 'taste' what I'm feasting on.  Taste Him.  Enjoy Him.  Trust Him daily.  Experience how good He is.  Lean on Him - the Strong Tower.  Don't take my word for it...try Him for yourself, you'll like Him!  That's the kind of thing that makes me go  mmmmmmmmmm!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Monday Memory Verse - Proverbs 18:21 - Coffee Grounds or Chocolate?

Proverbs 18:21  "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

If any of you really know me, you know that I enjoy food.  It's always been that way for me, and if I were being honest with you, which I always try to do, it's a daily struggle.  Now, I grew up the youngest of four children, with three older brothers.  Needless to say, if I ever wanted seconds on anything that I liked, I had to eat fast - while there was still something left. 

One day at the age of about seven, I came into the house after playing outside.  My mom was sitting around the dining room table with some friends drinking coffee.  It was a hot, summer day, and I was famished.  I saw what looked like brownie crumbs sitting on a paper towel at the table.  I distinctly remember saying to one brother (who shall remain nameless), "I can't believe mom made brownies and ate them all!"  So my brother said, "Well, the crumbs are there, go eat them."  I saw my chance, and I took it. I scooped those crumbs right into my mouth and started to inhale, without even chewing.  They were crumbs, after all.  Who needs to chew?  As soon as the first drop went down my throat, I started gagging and choking.  I looked over at my brother, laughing away, and my mom immediately sprang into action to help me breathe and wash out my mouth with water.  Yes, those 'crumbs' were actually coffee grounds, and my brother knew it all along.

Contrast that bitter taste (that I hope none of you with older brothers ever had to endure) with the most wonderful flavor you can imagine.  Maybe it's dark chocolate.  Maybe it's a juicy medium-rare steak.  Maybe it's your favorite dessert.  Whatever that taste is that releases those endorphins in your brain, think of the contrast between the two.  Bitterness or pure, undeniable, delicacy.  That is what I think of when I dwell on the verse to memorize this week.

The tongue has the power of life and death...

Have you ever had someone speak truth to you that you felt as though you had renewed joy, renewed energy, and truly a renewed life?  Now think about the converse.  Have you ever had someone rip into you so deeply that it seemingly bore a whole in your soul?  I'll bet you can think of more examples in your life of when you've been torn down instead of built up.  I can. 

I'm an analyzer.  I like to try to figure people out, and I like to try to figure myself out.  I love looking at the things in my past and figuring out why I am who I am today.  Believe it or not, I used to have really low self-esteem.  I'm sure there are many reasons for that, but I can pin-point one major contributing event in my life.  When I was in sixth grade, a teacher tore me up and down, inside and out, in front of the other students.  She didn't make just one comment.  She went on and on, doing everything she could and say everything she could think of to humiliate me.  You see, quick wit as an adult is a great attribute.  It's one of my characteristics that I'm most proud of.  I'm a lot like my dad, in that respect.  But, quick wit as a fifth grader is called disrespect.  Yes, I needed to be reprimanded; I just did not need it done publicly.  Now, I went to a Christian school...these kinds of things should not have happened.  Unfortunately, sometimes we speak flippantly and have no clue that our words might leave a lasting scar on others.

As I try to think of an example of when someone has used their tongue to bring life into me, I find it much more difficult.  As humans, it's easier to remember the wounds, scars, and hurts than it is to remember the good.  Now, as I flip that switch and think about how I use my words, I wonder what my ratio is of bringing life or death to someone with my words.  Looking at how others have hurt me is always a lot easier than asking God to show me how I've hurt others.

...those who love it will eat its fruit.

We can choose words that bring destruction or life.  The choices we make show where our 'love' is.  Certainly, all of us would agree that given the choice, we would choose the life-fruit for someone talking to us.  Yet, do we put that into practice with others?  That's the real test.  Matthew 12:37 says, "For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."   

There's nothing like a kind word fitly spoken.  Proverbs 25:11 says it's like apples of gold in settings of silver.  Yes, we love to receive the fruit of life...that's an easy one.  Today, I am asking God to show me what kind of fruit is on the platter I'm serving to others.  Am I taking every opportunity to build others up instead of myself?  Even more so, am I taking every opportunity to tell others how to have LIFE in Christ?  That is the ultimate fruit we all should be serving up.  This week I'm asking God to give me the opportunity to speak life and truth into someone each day, and perhaps more importantly, to not bring damage to someone because of my words.   

So what's it going to be?  Coffee grounds or chocolate?  Death or Life?  The choice is mine, every time I open my mouth.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com