GodandMe2theMax

Every good and perfect gift, even COVID and 2020

For many, 2020 is the year that was. For me, it was a year of blessings, so many that I cannot help but publicly praise God for all that He did.

2020 marked my 29^th year in the travel industry. My job has been very stressful for many years, and toward the middle of 2019, I was praying God would provide a way of escape for me. In November of 2019, I was promoted to be in charge of training for all of North America for Key Travel. I thought that was how God was answering my prayers for a way of escape, but little did I know what God had planned on the horizon. How little did we all know what 2020 would hold.

COVID devastated the travel industry, perhaps like no other industry. April 10^th was my last day with Key Travel, and God allowed me to exit with maximum severance offered. Two weeks later, nearly all the rest of the operations staff in the US was let go, with virtually no severance. While I certainly never expected to leave my position at Key Travel without having another one lined up, God had other plans. 

I’m here to testify that when things don’t go the way we plan or expect, we need to remember that God’s plans are always so much better than ours. Always.

After being rejected for a job at AAA, with the rejection letter saying I wasn’t qualified (even though the job was doing the exact same as my first management job with AAA), I realized it was because I had never finished my Bachelors degree. Had the COVID domino not fallen over on the travel industry, I never would have been motivated to complete my degree. Yet, in just over 4 months, by God’s grace, I completed 29 credit hours and received my Bachelors of Science in Interdisciplinary Studies (focus areas of Education and Business) from Liberty University – exactly 30 years after I withdrew after my junior year.

And of course, commencement was cancelled at Liberty University due to COVID, but that didn't stop us from celebrating. I planned a full commencement ceremony, including all the fanfare, with Dr. Frank Banfill bringing the commencement address. It truly was one of the happiest days of my life. Only God could bring such joy because of the COVID domino.

My final capstone class for my degree also birthed an idea for a future business. The details of that idea are still "percolating" -- stay tuned. But again, had the COVID domino not hit, we would never even be discussing it as an option. 

In July, Frank decided we needed to get away. I fought it. Big time. I was buried in my final Capstone class, and it was extremely time-demanding. Besides, who travels on an international vacation right in the middle of a pandemic? Well, the Banfills did, and it was amazing. Jamaica had very few cases, and Frank felt strongly that we should plan to go -- in faith -- knowing the booking allowed us to re-schedule without penalty. We have no regrets; it was truly one of the best trips of our life!

God provided a “deserted beach vacation” in the middle of a global pandemic. It was a much-needed blessing, and I believe we were safer on that deserted beach than if we stayed at home! Our entire plane had to produce negative COVID tests, and once we arrived, the Jamaican government made us all re-take the COVID tests. Who would have thought that the COVID domino could bring such joy, but it did…in abundance!

 

To say the beach was deserted is an understatement.

The COVID domino also hit KiDs Beach Club, where Frank is the VP of Strategy and Growth. Last year, they had over 300 schools across the nation who partnered with them, holding Beach Clubs in public schools. In 2020, that number dropped to about 7, thanks to COVID. KBC didn’t let COVID stop them from pursuing what God called them to do, and when kids could no longer come to Beach Club at their local school, KBC made the decision to bring Beach Club to them – in their homes. Thus, the “Beach Club at Home” concept was birthed: create 30-minute professionally produced “Beach Club at Home” tv-quality episodes that mirror the elements found in the live Beach Clubs. It was all happening very fast, with no money budgeted to make it happen. But God knew that the COVID domino was going to hit, and He miraculously prepared the generous hearts of donors to give BIG. The first 6 episodes of “Beach Club at Home” were launched, providing a way for kids to interact and experience what was no longer possible within their local schools.

However, the original production company decided to topple their own domino; for KBC, it initially looked devastating. The production company said they could no longer write and produce the remaining 15 needed episodes and basically said what KiDs Beach Club was asking was impossible. Looking back, I’m reminded of Matthew 19:26 for sure!

Frank spearheaded the “Beach Club at Home” project, and I will never forget the look on his face as he told me what the original production company said. In case you don't know him, you should know that Frank is a leader that is not easily discouraged. Yet that afternoon, he really was distressed, trying to understand how God wanted KBC to move forward after hitting such a concrete wall. Trying to brainstorm with him, I told him I could write the remaining 15 episodes. I really threw that out there only to try to show him there were options. It was a grasp at straws of desperation. In nearly 30 years of marriage, I so rarely have seen him even close to discouraged, and I had to do something!

I’ll be honest. I really didn’t think that domino would fall in the direction I suggested. I kind of "thought" I could write the episodes, but the doubt-meter definitely swayed more on the “NO” side of the pendulum. And it was definitely a lot harder than I thought! But, KBC needed a writer, and nothing else was materializing.

We decided for me to write my first screenplay and submit it to the KiDs Beach Club president anonymously. This would avoid embarrassment for me, had he not liked what I created, and it would avoid apparent conflict of interest for Frank. That’s when the original production company’s domino intersected with mine. Jack Terrell, the KBC founder and president LOVED what I had created. He didn’t know I had it in me, and to be honest, I didn’t either. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that God would provide for KiDs Beach Club while simultaneously providing for our financial needs in 2020 by having me write and sell 15 original screenplays! God worked out all the rest of the details for a new production company, CRM Studios. Most of the filming for all the episodes is now complete and in post-production. Only God could orchestrate what has taken place!  He crumbled the financial mountains for KiDs Beach Club to make this happen, and somehow, all my crazy ideas for the scripts came to life.

KiDs Beach Club at Home
(Episodes 1-6 were done by the original production company, and I wrote the remaining episodes. More will be added in February)

 

The COVID domino also tumbled over our health, with both Frank and I contracting COVID. His case was much worse than mine, developing double pneumonia, a blood clot in his lung, and spending 5 days in the hospital. My doctor said he is lucky to be alive, but we know luck has nothing to do with it. The fact that he is alive is 100% God. Perhaps even more miraculous, He spared my 80-year old mother (who lives with us), keeping her from catching it.

In 2020, I learned it's ok to not be ok. (Taken from my favorite song of the year: by Matthew West, Truth Be Told)
In 2020, I learned that it’s ok to not be constantly busy.
In 2020, I realized that I had let WORK snatch me from the things that really mattered. Losing my job was an incredible blessing.
In 2020, I saw God provide for our family in miraculous ways.
In 2020, I re-discovered my love for creativity that had been stolen by my stress-filled job (whether through writing or creating "masterpieces" like the tree picture below (term used loosely) or the table trivets I started making as gifts. And who knows, maybe I'll start really blogging again.

And on the last day of 2020, I read the words that for 13 years running, I still do not take for granted: “Cancer markers undetectable.”

Yes, 2020 was good to me. I'm actually kind of sad to see it go, because I don't know how 2021 could top it! Sure, like many others, I could dwell on the negative domino effect and bring in the new year thanking God it’s over. But the TRUTH BE TOLD, I’m a much happier version of “me” going into 2021 than I was going into 2020.

I praise God for every good and perfect gift, including COVID and 2020.

 

-- Beth Banfill
[email protected]

 

 

"The Whidbey Island Covenant"

 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or pride,
but let us each put the needs of others over our own needs and desires.”
Philippians 2:3 

 

Over the last quarter of 2016, God was stirring in my heart the need to focus on my marriage.  Let it be known that we were not / are not struggling.  In fact, after almost 26 years, I would dare say we are just as strong and close as ever!  But with so many marriages turning into failed statistics, I had this burning desire to find ways to protect my marriage, to guard it, and to find ways to love and honor my husband in a deeper way.  I wanted desperately to take measures to ensure our marriage endures the test of time. 

You see, in 2017, we will officially become empty-nesters.  Amber will be graduating from college and likely moving to North Carolina.  Jacob will graduate from high school, move out, and start college.  It will be just the two of us around here, day in and day out.  I’ve heard that one of the highest divorce rates take place when the kids are raised and move out of the house.  The parents no longer find that they have anything in common, because the ‘kids’ were the common bond.  With us moving into that phase of life, I wanted to be sure that statistic didn’t hit our home.

So as my thoughts intensified about our marriage, I began to scheme about Frank’s Christmas gift.  Frank is a minimalizer.  He doesn’t like me to spend money on him, and he doesn’t even like to exchange cards.  But I knew just what to do for his Christmas gift... 

We spent Christmas on Whidbey Island with family, off the coast of Puget Sound in the state of Washington.  On Christmas morning, for whatever reason, the kids didn’t come down to breakfast with us at the hotel.  It was just the two of us, and it was the perfect time to share with him about my “gift” for him.  So I poured out my heart about wanting to focus on our marriage in the coming year, and together we made what we called “The Whidbey Island Covenant”:  to proclaim 2017 “The Year of our Marriage.”  I won’t go into all the details of that covenant, but one of them was to plan at least one event each quarter to focus on strengthening our marriage.  And we have just completed the first of those weekends!

Frank did tons of research to find an affordable and applicable “marriage retreat” for us.  When he was pastoring in Ohio, we used to teach an incredible course on Marriage Intimacy; in fact, we even led marriage retreats.  So we didn’t want to pay a lot of money to go hear someone speak on “marriage fluff”.  (By that, I mean principles that we already have in place and practice regularly,…“common knowledge” principles of marriage.)  Instead, we wanted to find something that would be “just what we needed”.  And that is exactly what he found!

Whether you think you need to re-focus your marriage or not, I strongly recommend you consider this exact thing.  It doesn’t have to be fancy.  We went to a local hotel, only because we were able to get a really great travel agent rate.  You can plan something like this without going anywhere.  (Quite honestly, I would have preferred my temperpedic over a lumpy hotel bed!)  We had dinner out on Friday and watched a movie.  Then on Saturday morning, we downloaded a series from Family Life called “I Still Do.”  It consisted of four 45 minute sessions by top-notch speakers.  The download was only about $20, and it even came with discussion questions for each section.  We mixed up the weekend with eating out, shopping, playing games, watching the videos & doing the discussion questions.  Overall, it was an incredible weekend of renewing our commitment to love each other for better or worse.  (I highly recommend this series from Family Life!  Just click on the I Still Do to learn more!)

I Corinthians 10:12 warns “Therefore, let anyone who thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall.”  You see, I’m not sharing this because I want everyone to know how strong my marriage is or how awesome my spouse is.  The moment we think our marriage is on solid ground is the moment the enemy attacks.  And the enemy, well he uses some pretty sneaky things to divide marriages.  He uses the lust of the eyes and the pride of life.  He uses our own children to divide us.  He finds ways to have us blame our spouses for anything and everything.  But the one thing I took away from the weekend, the one thing that is solidified even more in my mind is that marriages do not crumble when both spouses have a right relationship with God.  A right relationship with God not only means putting Him first, but it also means not having yourself as the top ranking officer.  Living a self-less life is not easy.  It’s a daily struggle and decision to place “him” (my spouse) as more of a priority than “me”.  It’s a daily choice to decide that I don’t have to be “right”; I don’t have to “win”, and I don’t have to have my way.

No, I don’t share this to brag in any way, shape, or form.  I share this because too often, I hear of friends who have separated.  Friends who are getting divorced.  Irreconcilable differences.  Affairs.  Pornography destroying marriages.  Secret lives.  One spouse left as the victim of the other pursuing their selfish desires.  It breaks my heart to hear of another marriage broken.

In the opening session from “I STILL DO”, Pastor Alistair Begg shared a story that is often repeated during the marriage counseling sessions he conducts.  It goes something like this:  One spouse is complaining about the other, saying she doesn’t do this anymore, and she does that, and I mean, just look at her! – …and she doesn’t support me, and …(insert your own gripe about your spouse.)

Then Pastor Begg will say, “So you’re telling me it’s worse?” 

To which the spouse replies, “YES!”  It’s worse!  So much worse!

And Pastor Begg, in his awesome Scottish accent simply says, “Well, isn’t that what you signed up for?  For better or worse?” 

(Insert time standing still while you chew on the reality of that comment!)

Regardless of your personal faith, I would venture to say if you are married or have been married in the past, you said your marriage vows in the presence of witnesses and before God.  We promised to stick with our spouse for better or worse. 

One day, it will turn “worse”.  It is inevitable.  We get older; we get plumper; we are just not as attractive as we once were.  Our spouse hurts us.  We have financial issues.  Our kids have special needs.  Life is just stinkin’ hard, and it’s easier to take the frustrations of life out on our spouse than it is to figure out a way to work through the problems.

But you know what?  Yes, there will be a day when “worse” will come.  But “better” can be just around the corner.  Just because it’s “worse” now doesn’t mean it will stay that way or progress further downhill.  We promised to love selflessly, through the good & bad; sickness & in health, as long as we are alive. 

I probably wrote down 50 different Bible verses this week for practical living in my marriage.  But the one that sticks with me…the one that I believe is really key to success in marriage is Philippians 2:3:  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or pride, but let us each put the needs of others over our own needs and desires.”  This weekend was such a good reminder of how easy it is to put myself first and how important it is to make sure that doesn't happen.

I close with this final thing…
A few years ago, after hearing of yet another casualty in our church, my friend Jennifer Davis & I wrote the song below.  May we never consider our marriages disposable, and may we always choose to fight for our family; selflessly; putting others before ourselves.

Verse One
One by one, they're falling apart.
Marriages ending.  Broken hearts.
They made it this long for the kids.
But they're all grown, so it's time to quit.
They promised to love through thick and thin
But somehow the outlook changed to grim.
It's over.  There's no love anymore.
Pack your bags.  There's the door.

Chorus
You've got to fight for your family.
Quit fighting for yourself.
Selfless living.  Be forgiving.
Don't you know true love is never ending?
It's time to take a stand.
And fight with all your might...for your family.

Verse Two
He picked up the phone but just couldn’t dial.
She sat there wishing they could talk for a while.
Regret sank in as time slipped by.
Was he too late?  Was it really goodbye?
He knew he’d been selfish.  It was time to admit
All the ways he’d hurt her before calling it quits.
“Can we meet tonight?” he cried on the phone
“God’s been working on me.  I want to come home.”

Tag
We live our lives throwing daggers and knives
Disposable husbands.  Disposable wives.
But imagine the changes that God will do
If others are considered better than you.

Chorus
You've got to fight for your family.
Quit fighting for yourself.
Selfless Living.  Be forgiving.
Don't you know true love is never ending?
It's time to take a stand.
And fight with all your might...for your family.

 

Pray with me, will you?  Pray for the families you know that are struggling?  Pray they won't give up?  Fight for them in your very own war room / prayer room.  If you are struggling, please tell me.  I want to pray for you.  Don't give up when it's "worse"...it can get better, but it takes two people putting God first to make it happen.  "Above all else, guard your heart, for it determines the course of your life."  Proverbs 4:23

 

 

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

I’m cuckoo for…

“…so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way;
bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.”  --Colossians 1:10  

On the outside looking in, just about anyone would describe me as a workaholic.  In truth, that is not me at all – I’m really quite lazy and would prefer to not invest so many hours into my job.  The problem is that I have an equally competing voice in my lazy head that tells me I can give nothing less than my best, whether to my employer or whatever project I’m working on.  It’s this strong work ethic and strive for excellence that makes me work the crazy hours that I do, and it’s this same work ethic that seems to get my work-life balance out of whack repeatedly. 

Every few years, the Lord hits me upside my hard head to remind me that my calling is first and foremost as a wife and mom.  It’s why we sold our company 9 years ago, and most recently, He clearly showed me that I better make some immediate adjustments once again.  It was very clear that my family was getting only the fumes left in my tank, and my priorities were not where God wanted them to be.  (I'm proud to say that so far, so good...successful implementation of those changes and less hours are being worked!)

I used the time in Tanzania to gain a new perspective and try to retain special memories with my children and husband.  This is yet another one of those memories, written from the perspective of my true calling – a mom.  Perhaps only mothers who can act ridiculously crazy without reserve will really understand the details below, but I’ll do my best to explain how it all went down.  All I know is that I must live my life in a manner worthy of my calling, and my actions must be consistent to reflect the love of Jesus within me.

It was our last day of ministry, and as mentioned in the last blog entry, I was teamed up with Jacob & Amber for the day, my own two children.  Our guide and translator Willfred led us up the mountain to our first stop in Kubiterere.  Willfred worked to gather together anyone who would listen.  Adults & children started to circle around, and I randomly snapped the below picture of others making their way toward us.  

Little did I know that the little guy in the orange shirt would make such a great impact on me. 

In total, we had about 15 kids and quite a few adults who sat and listened as I shared the gospel.  After I shared, Amber presented the Evangecube, and by the time we were done, nearly every adult and some of the older children within earshot had made a decision to put their faith in Christ.

As Amber shared, I looked at the children.  One by one, I made eye contact with them, trying to get a little smile out of each one.  Two of them, Sabena & Joseph, were determined to remain solemn.  I don’t know if Joseph was afraid or just shy, but try as I might, this momma couldn’t get him to understand that I offered only unconditional love, nothing more.  His Mr. Tough-Guy façade stayed for the duration of my time there.

The little guy in the orange striped shirt is Joseph, aka Mr. Tough Guy. I never could get him to crack a smile, not even once.

As the people went back to their daily work and the children dispersed, one of the adults proudly asked if he could show Amber & Jacob where he lived.  Willfred gave me a nod that it was ok, and off Jacob & Amber went.  I stayed behind with the specific intent to win over the one remaining tough guy.

Meet Sabena.

I snapped this picture without him knowing it.  The minute he saw my camera, the tough-guy face re-appeared.

He kept his distance, and no matter how hard I tried to get a little grin from his round face, success did not seem to be in the cards. 

Enter on the scene a little girl named Rachel. 

She was fearless, full of precious smiles, and little did she know that she would be my pivotal partner in winning over Sabena. 
Rachel let me take her picture and waited anxiously to see the image pop up on the screen of my camera. 

She started climbing on me and let me hold her.  Eventually, she landed right on my lap. 

Her lack of fear drew Sabena over a little closer and closer, until he eventually seemed comfortable standing next to me…but still no smile.

I knew there was a smile inside dying to get out, but Sabena was determined to stifle it.  You can ask either of my kids, I’m a pretty strong-willed momma who likes a challenge.  If Sabena was going to be a pickle, then I wasn’t leaving until I had successfully taken the vinegar out of the pickle.

I’m not sure how long Amber & Jacob were gone, maybe about 15 minutes.  However long it was, it was too quick, because they were back with me before I was ready for them to be back.  I knew that their return meant that we needed to move on to the next hut.  And Sabena had not even cracked a smile. 

It was time to go, and in my heart of hearts, this little boy was only still hanging around us because he longed to be loved-on, the way I was hugging on Rachel.  I held up my hand as if to ask for a few more minutes of precious time with these children.  I believed that I was close to a breakthrough with Sabena.  I think Amber could sense the special moment building, too.  Providentially, she grabbed my camera and began snapping pictures – pictures worth more than 1000 words to me. 

My gut tells me Sabena had never seen a white person (mzungu) before, let alone one as scary-looking as me. 

As I continued to pour out love on Sabena, the magic of tickling took over.  He finally dropped his guard, allowing Mr. Tough Guy to vanish and the child within to emerge.  He let me pick him up, and he started to drop the walls he had built up.  

Trust began to build as he eventually made his way into the half of my lap that Rachel did not occupy.

Admittedly, I acted crazy. 

I was a total goofball as together the three of us laughed incessantly. 

I found myself reaching over to kiss Sabena's forehead.  It wasn't planned; it just happened, because that's what moms do. They kiss the children they love.  Somehow in such a short time, a special bond had formed between us, and in that instant, I loved Rachel & Sabena as if they were my own children!  

I had known their names only a short time, yet my heart was overflowing with so much love that I would
swear under oath that they were my own flesh and blood.  It was a priceless memory.  

Against my wishes, I knew my time with these precious children was over, and we had to move on to the next hut to share the Gospel.  If it were up to me, I might still be on the top of the mountain with Rachel & Sabena in my arms.  I walked away trying to fight the tears of the experience.  

Even as I write, the memories can be described as nothing more than a momma’s pure joy.  Jacob, on the other hand, described it as something else. 

As we walked away, he began to tell me that I acted inappropriately.  You see, being the youngest, he’s really never seen his mom love on children that weren’t my own flesh and blood.  I tried to tell Jacob that I couldn't help it; it was the momma in me that took over.  Apparently, though, Jacob wasn’t done lecturing me.  “Mom,” he said, “I don’t think Dad would have acted like that.  You can’t blame it on being a parent.”  I agreed with him, for sure; Frank would never have acted the way I did.  It’s not in his Ph.D. reserved nature or DNA.  But me, I don’t have that degree, I only have my MOM degree.  I’m just a mom who loves children, so I vehemently defended my actions with my son. 

In Jacob’s defense, he really was not trying to steal my joy; he was simply trying to shed light on how foolishly I had behaved.  That’s my Jacob: I can always count on him to share his perspective with raw honesty, without reserve.  For sure, he did just that.

Therefore, he was not yet finished with the critique of my behavior. 

“Mom, you were completely cuckoo.  Totally cuckoo, mom.  It was really bad & embarrassing, mom.  I mean, you were completely crazy.”  (Insert his imitation of me goofing around with the kids and don't forget to include a high pitched unintelligible voice.) 

As he searched for the words to further describe my inappropriate behavior, I cut him off and told him, “Yes, Jacob, I know.  I get it.  I'm guilty, I am.  I’m cuckoo.  I’m just cuckoo for kids.  That’s what a mom does; it’s part of my nature; and I can’t help it.” 

And about as quickly as I said that I was cuckoo for kids, both of us simultaneously added, “Cuckoo for cocoa kids.” 

Yeah.  Let that one sink in for a moment.

A few seconds passed before any of us realized exactly what we said when alluding to the well-known Cocoa Puffs slogan. 

The three of us stopped and laughed uncontrollably while our Tanzanian partners looked at us with bewilderment.  Even with their grasp of the English language, I don’t think they could ever imagine what exactly was going on or what was said. 

It was the perfect ending to that perfect memory.  It was also a perfect example of Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart does good like a medicine.”  God knew my heart needed that massive belly laugh to get through the moment.

As I’ve tried to detail my story about Rachel & Sabena on the mountain, I can’t help but think of the spiritual applications of each person in the story. 

Mr. Tough guy Joseph went away, never knowing what it was like to open his heart to a stranger and trust them.  I pray that he will one day know what it’s like to trust Jesus as his best friend.

Rachel allowed herself to be vulnerable, not letting fear of the unknown grip her.  Because of it, she was influential in helping her friend experience love.  Granted, I’m not God by any means, but I hope that those two children will have a memory of when the mzungu woman came to their village to show God’s love.  I pray that I was an expression of Him.

And Sabena…he overcame his fear, dropped his guard, and experienced something new.  If nothing else, I hope he learned to fear a little less and trust a little more.  (I think he definitely learned that tickles and laughter are good for the soul, too!)

I don’t know what memories Rachel & Sabena will retain from the time in my lap on the mountain, but I know that these two impacted me pretty deeply. 

And me, I’m reminded to be a friend like Rachel.  I’m reminded to persist when I believe God is leading me to (with Sabena), and I’m reminded to give up when He isn’t (Joseph).  I’m reminded that God’s timing is perfect, and finally, I’m reminded to count my blessings, each and every one of them.

It’s also just another reminder to me that my first calling is being a mom.  It’s innate and natural.  I proudly wear the title Mumzy (so given to me by Amber several years ago).  I love the fact that I don’t have to stick with any nice and neat persona in a box just because Jacob wants me to, and it's ok to be cuckoo and crazy when God leads you to do it.   

All I know is that I loved those children in the way that I believed Jesus wanted me to.  I pray that I lived in a manner worthy of my calling.  Finally, I hope I showed my children that it’s ok to be cuckoo, as long as you’re doing it for the right reasons...  Even if it means being cuckoo for cocoa kids.

 

 

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

No greater joy...

“I have no greater joy than to hear of my children walking in the truth.”
III John 1:4

 

As we prepared to go to Africa, this is the verse that kept running through my head.  In my mind, though, the phrase was “than to see my children walking in truth…I have no greater joy than to SEE THEM walk in truth...”  And from this mom’s perspective, seeing my children live out their faith on foreign soil was a visual image I wanted to invade my memory, never to leave.

You see, in 25 years of marriage and 20 years of having children in our lives, we have never had our entire family of four on the mission field together.  I have been overseas with Frank about 4 times, one of those times with Amber & Frank, 6 other times with just Amber, a bunch of other times without anyone in the family with me, but never have either one of us been able to serve overseas with all four of us.  (And in case you’re not keeping track, that means the missing element has always been Jacob.)  Not only was this trip a dream come true, but we both believed it was a mandate from God to allow Jacob this opportunity before he graduates and moves on in his next phase of life.  We also knew another opportunity like this was quite unlikely, so trust me when I say that I did my best to soak it all in and savor the moments and memories.

Jacob is…well, let’s just say he’s a typical teenager.  He is anxious to conquer the world, but if I try to offer advice along the way, it is too often quickly discarded as irrelevant and unfounded.  Hanging out with mom is something he does only under duress, and I suspect that isn’t going to change until he really lives the hard-knocks life of adulthood.  I believe that one day, he will realize mom is one of his biggest advocates, and I’m clinging to that tenet!  Until then, he remains a typical teenager who tomorrow morning will begin his last “first day of school”. 

I look at him and wonder how that bright eyed, silky haired boy with the big dimples turned into a big-haired mustache wearing almost 18 year old.

Alas, I digress.  Forgive this mom for the reminiscing.

Back to Africa… 

It was our last day of ministry, and in fact, it was our last day before we started our return to Texas.  We were to leave early the next morning, and the one memory I had hoped for had not yet been made:  I had yet to hear Jacob share his faith -- not even once during the entire trip.

Early on in the trip, Frank was able to go out with him; Amber had teamed up with him a few times; and even Dr. Vance, one of our other team members was able to go out with him one day.  But me?  Nope.  Jacob wanted nothing to do with that idea, and in fact, he vetoed the opportunity when it was presented.  Providentially though, on that last day, we were a bit short on translators.  That my friends, was about the best news anyone could have told me.  Not only did we spend the day together, but an added bonus: Amber also joined with us.  (Frank was at East Africa Christian College finishing up the class he was teaching, so I am the sole possessor of this priceless parental memory!)

Our translator Willfred was on a mission, no pun intended.  He knew where he was taking us, and it’s probably good he didn’t tell us ahead of time.  We crossed the road and followed him on an adventure that none of us will forget.

It was clear that the only way to forge this hike was with high steps through the fields. 

Our guide had a brisk pace, and we all had our eyes on the ground, trying to dodge the cattle dung.  We trekked down the side of a cliff-like ravine, crossed the stream, and then we pressed on up, up, up the mountain. 

I lagged behind the others as I tried to snap some pictures to capture this experience.  By the time we stopped at our first home, we weren’t at the ‘top’ of the mountain, but we were definitely a lot closer than I ever thought we’d get!

The above pictures is with full zoom, looking down on where the church is located.  
When I snapped this, we weren't even all the way up the mountainside yet!

 

As I said earlier, our translator was on a mission.  Every step up that mountain was intentional.  Willfred knew exactly where we were going and why:  to tell his friends about the Lord.  We came upon a central area where we were met by some of his friends. 

In Swahili, Willfred explained that we had come to Tanzania to share with them, and together, they went and gathered together all the extended family who were available to listen.  We must have had about 8 adults and 15 kids that finally gathered around – maybe more.  They were all waiting to hear from these strange white people.  (I’m pretty sure some of those children had never seen a white person, but you’ll have to wait until the next blog entry for that story.)

With all the extended mountain family together, it was determined that I should be the one to share with them first.  I shared my testimony of how as a small child, I made the most important decision I could ever have made:  the decision to put my faith and trust in Jesus.  I went on to share the specifics of what the Bible says about becoming a Christian, and Amber then shared the Evangecube with them.  She started out by asking what they knew about a man named Jesus.  Their response: They knew nothing; in fact, they had never even heard His name.  Can you even imagine that?  We live here in the USA where most of us hear the name of Jesus being taken in vain nearly every day.  Yet these people had never even heard the greatest story ever told – the story of Jesus and His unending bountiful love for us!

As Amber shared, they hung on her every word.  Before she even finished, one of the adults interrupted and said, “I want that for me.  How do I get this free gift of salvation for me?”  Wise beyond her years, Amber is ever-so-cautious of leading someone in a prayer without them fully understanding the commitment that it means.  So she finished articulating the Gospel to make sure they fully understood what it meant to put your faith and trust in Christ and accept His free gift of salvation.  Then each family member, along with some of the older children bowed their heads and prayed a simple prayer of forgiveness, confession, and commitment.  

 

The angels rejoiced; this mom did too, because I have no greater joy than to see my children walk in the truth.

The next home we visited was just a little further up the mountain. (We didn't think it was possible, but it was!)

It was a similar scenario as the last hut:  Willfred had us stop in a central area while he gathered up all the extended family so we could share with a max amount of people possible.  At this hut, however, it was Jacob’s turn to share why we came to Tanzania.  He opened up the Evangecube, and as he began to speak, this momma’s heart was about to explode with pride. 

I watched in silence; I listened intently; I pinched myself.  At times, Jacob would struggle to find the right words.  As if they could read each other’s minds, he just had to glance over at his sister, as if to make an invisible “tag” for her to take over.  Then and only then, would she jump in to bridge the words he struggled to find. 

And as soon as the thought was complete, she in turn would invisibly tag him back, allowing him the ability to take the lead in sharing the Gospel.  It happened like that about three times, maybe four.  If telepathic tag-team witnessing was an Olympic event, they would have won the gold medal, hands down. 

Sometimes you wonder if it is really worth it...all the hours you pour into your children trying to "train them up in the way they should go."  You wonder if they really "get it" and if anything you have taught them really sinks deep.  Of course I know it's always worth it, but it was at that moment, as I watched my children lead others to Christ that I said a silent prayer.  I thanked God for allowing me the privilege of witnessing my children share their faith....not my faith, but their own personal faith.  And I thanked God for answering my prayer to see it happen.

There are truly no other words to express the overflow of emotion in my heart when I say, “I have no greater joy than to see my children walking in the truth.”

 

 

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

The Parable of the ugly Crepe Myrtle...

Matthew 13 3-9, 18-23
“Then He told them many things in parables, saying, ‘A farmer went out to sow his seed.  As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up.  Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil.  It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow.  But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.  Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants.  Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop – a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.  He who has ears, let him hear.’
…(Then Jesus said), ‘Listen then to what the parable of the sower means:  When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart.  This is the seed sown along the path.  The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy.  But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time.  When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away.  The one who received the seed and fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.  But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it.  He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.’ “

 

I’ve said it before.  I have a brown thumb.  I have one living plant in my home, it’s some kind of ivy that is only still alive because I’m told you can’t kill it.  It was sent to me from my old employer at the time of my first cancer surgery, and I’ve been determined to never let it die.  Anything else related to horticulture, flowers, plants, etc., I leave to my sweet neighbor friend Ankita.  

 

Her favorite thing to do is dig in the dirt and plant beautiful arrangements of flowers.  Her yard is pretty bright and full, so this year she moved her creativity over to my yard.  She planted a few flowers, and we’ve talked about what we can do (actually, what SHE can do) to spruce up my boring flower bed area.

When we built the house, I told the builder that I wanted red or pink crepe myrtles in the front yard.  The builder told me the trees were already ordered, but he thought that I was actually going to get some crepe myrtles.  Well, I did.  Ugly, boring white ones that are currently overrunning the front of my house.  I know, I know, I’m pretty picky for someone who doesn’t have a green thumb, but I do have an eye for what looks good…and two big white crepe myrtles just don’t work for me aesthetically. 

As I said, I have two white crepe myrtles, and they anchor each side of my house.  Actually, they are taking over the front of my house.  We trim them back, and they grow more.  (I guess that’s how it’s supposed to work!)  Anyway, Ankita and I devised a plan to make me happy.  We were going to dig up the big white crepe myrtles and transplant them into my back yard.  Then I want to replace them with red or pink crepe myrtle bushes, ones that won’t grow so tall.  By doing so, I’ll get the color I want without having the tall, lanky trunk with ugly white flowers.  (Did I mention white crepe myrtles are ugly?)

So I’ve done some research, and it seems that the best time to transplant a crepe myrtle in Texas is after they go dormant, so I’m thinking that’s going to be in late October, early November.  And that’s what the plan is.

But I can’t help but wonder if the trees will make it in my back yard after I transplant them, or will they be scorched when the heat returns because their roots aren’t deep or strong enough to sustain life.  Our lawn guy told me it’ll probably be a 50-50 survival possibility.  But from what I’ve read, they are hearty trees, and it’s a lot harder to kill them, so I’m going with the internet.  :)  I’m just going to hope and pray the soil in my back yard is the “good soil that produces a crop.”

Bringing the verses back to home, obviously, the tree analogy doesn’t really explain what Jesus meant.  When we share the Gospel with someone who has never accepted Christ as their Savior, well that seed sometimes falls on bad soil.  When that happens, usually the person isn’t ready to hear or is so mad at God about something that they refuse to hear.  That’s when the birds eat up the seed or the seed falls in a rocky place where there’s not much soil.

Sometimes we share the Gospel with people and they show an interest in the seed we’ve planted.  But then something interrupts that desire to learn more, thorns that prevent growth.  And then sometimes those seeds take root and allow growth.

This same parable of Jesus can be applied unilaterally to anything we hear, really.  How many times do we get really excited about something new, but we lose interest and the desire falls by the wayside?  How many times do we become determined to lose weight, eat right, and exercise daily (usually around January 1st) but by January 3rd, the seed that was planted has fallen on rocky soil with birds eating it up.

And for Christians out there, how many times does the Holy Spirit speak to us in a still small voice, nudging us to take action on something for Him, only to forget it completely by Monday morning?

My challenge today is to let the good seed of Jesus, whether it's the Gospel or His still small voice take root in my life so that I don't allow thorns and birds to kill my desire to obey.  My prayer is that 1) when we transplant my crepe myrtles in a few weeks that they will live, but much more importantly 2) when God speaks, I will listen and obey, allowing His seed to penetrate deep in my life, taking root that no one can dig up or kill.  I want my life to be an example of a beautiful red crepe myrtle being used to glorify my God!

 

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Creative parenting...

“Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand…For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks…”  Matthew 12:25,34b

In this passage, Jesus addresses the Pharisees when they accuse him of being the devil himself.  Jesus point blank tells them, “Every kingdom divided against itself cannot stand.”  (Sidenote: This definitely makes me really concerned about the future of the USA with the constant division between republicans and democrats, but alas, that’s not the purpose of this blog…)  

Jesus then goes on to say, “Every city or household divided against itself cannot stand.”  And that’s where I am focused this morning.  The household.  If you know me personally, you will know that my one constant prayer request for about 2 years running now is that we will have wisdom to know how to parent our children as individuals.  Admittedly, parenting is a hard task, and I tip my hat to those who tackle it by themselves.  Unless God puts me in that situation, I can’t imagine ever having to do it.  With our oldest now in college, you would think parenting would be easier, but I’m not finding that to be the case.  At times, I find it overwhelming, especially right now with a full-blown adolescent teenaged boy in the house.

Have you ever built a tower with Lincoln logs or Legos?  Now, truth be told, I haven’t built very many, because my children never really played with those toys.  In fact, Jacob told me the other day that he didn’t play with them because they left nothing to the imagination.  (I thought they were so popular because you could use your imagination to build anything with them!)  Not Jacob, though.  He would rather create something out of paper and tape instead of putting together pre-made pieces that link together to form something.  “That’s real creativity, mom.” 

Top & Bottom Left: A self portrait  Top Right: A set of aerodynamic wings he swears will be able to help him fly (if only he were the weight of a bird)  Bottom right: a net, made from paper and tape, twisted together and tied in knots

Indeed, he has made some incredible things by being creative in this way, and it’s true, even when he was a toddler, he didn’t play with the box of Legos we had purchased.  But if I gave him tape, paper and/or a cardboard box, he would play for hours.  He somehow had a plan in his mind of what the completed project was supposed to look like, and he would execute the plans until the project was perfected.

Top Left - a revolver made completely from tape...not that I'm proud of my son designing a revolver, but you have to admit it's pretty cool.  Top right:  I believe this ended up being transformed into some kind of a shield  Bottom Left: No, this isn't a pitchfork, it's a triton   Bottom Right:  "Rubberband Man", one of my personal favorites, made completely from rubberbands, no glue or anything else.

So if you by chance have played with Legos, imagine working with a partner and laying your foundational Lego pieces.  You begin to build higher and higher, but you realize that something doesn’t look or feel quite right.  You look down and realize the reason is because some of the foundation bricks you laid are no longer there.  Perplexed, you discover that you’re not working with your partner at all to build one big edifice.  You are working together, side by side to build the same thing, but your idea of how it should be done is quite different from your partner, so you end up with two smaller, less stable, very different creations.  Your partner is building a creation and you are building yours. 

When Jesus says “a house divided against itself cannot stand” I can only think of how important it is to be unified as parents in how we raise our children.  This is easier said than done, as I'm learning daily!  Our faith is the first foundation that everything is built on, but then it gets a little tougher.  If you’ve struggled as a parent, maybe like me, you just don’t know what the right answer is.  Do you make them do their homework or do you let them fail?  Are you rescuing them too much or are you being the kind of parent that God wants you to be?  Maybe you’re new to parenting, and you wonder if you should spank your child or if you can correct megative behavior with “time-outs”.  Maybe your husband/wife doesn’t believe in spanking and you believe you should.  Maybe you and your spouse are together building your own Lego creations...separately

As I read this passage, I am reminded that I do not have all the answers.  There are so many “unknowns” in the realm of parenting.  But this one thing I do know, the foundation of parenting must be firmly grounded in Jesus Christ.  I find it interesting that Jesus later says “…out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”  Last week was extremely stressful on me.  Our family was out in California to take our oldest to college, and leaving her out there was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  My husband stayed an extra week, but I had to come home with our son so he could start his sophomore year of high school.  The stress of getting back in the school groove, combined with a week of single parenting, combined with massive stress at work after being gone for 12 days culminated in a massive outpouring of anger on my son Thursday night. 

After he went to bed, the Holy Spirit nudged me (kicked me, actually) and I realized that although the content of what I said to my son was 100% accurate and truthful, the way I delivered it was in no way a resemblance of my Heavenly Father.  I’m so thankful He gives us fresh mercies every morning, because on Friday morning, the first thing I said to Jacob was that I was sorry for losing my temper with him.  I asked him to forgive me, and he did.  As I look back over last week, my daily quiet time was limited to reading the daily “Jesus Calling” while sitting in the bathroom.  I was going a mile a minute dealing with life's stresses that I pretty much neglected my relationship with God.  On top of that, I don’t sleep well when my husband is out of town, so suffice it to say I was one big mess emotionally, and I pretty much relieved all those stresses on my son.  “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”  Yep, that’s what took place for sure.  Again, I’m so thankful that God is a forgiving God who gives new mercies!

But back to parenting...  “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”  Just like Jacob had a plan for each of his creations, as parents, I'm reminded that we must have a plan.  We must have a plan for discipline, for teaching our kids the Bible, and for preparing them for life.  When our kids were younger, my husband and I used to have an annual retreat where we planned out yearly goals for our kids and our marriage.  It was always a time to evaluate what we’ve done right and wrong and a time to ask God to show us the next step.  We no longer have annual retreats, per se, because at this stage of parenting, those meetings have to come much more frequently as we navigate the tender adolescent teenaged years.  Trust me, they more closely resemble weekly, if not daily meetings, trying to come up with a plan that will help tackle whatever the daily problem is.

Top Left:  Helmet (made to size); he eventually spray painted it gold, his favorite color   Top Right: A working bow and arrow, made from post-it notes, tape, and rubberbands  Middle Left: An army ninja  Bottom Left: turtle spinner

So my thoughts are this:  Do you have a firm foundation in your home and marriage?  In Texas, we have to actually water the foundation of our homes to avoid cracks.  Figuratively, are you watering your foundation with the Living Water of Jesus Christ on a regular basis so your heart overflows His love?   Are you consistent in your discipline?  Do you have a unified creative plan in place for each of your individual children?  Do you regularly have marital staff meetings to evaluate your family and set goals?  Are you working together to raise the kids or are you workig your plan and your spouse working his, hoping one of you is doing something right.  And as you work those plans, are you spending the necessary time in the Word so that your heart is filled with God-thoughts and they outpour through your lips? 

All these random thoughts about family, children, and being creative as a unified parental front do really hit home for me.  Parenting is tough.  Sometimes I want to give up.  Sometimes I feel like I can't find a creative way to fix the problem.  Sometimes I try to tell God this isn't what I signed up for.  (Honesty is the best policy, right?  And I'm just being honest here!)  I'm just so thankful for God's Word and how He allows phrases to jump out and hit home in my heart, right when I need to be reminded of them the most.  I'm thankful, too, for a Godly husband who leads our family but mostly for a loving God who loves me in spite of my sinful outbursts and mid-life temper tantrums.

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

What's in Your Bag?

This last weekend, our ladies ministry at church hosted a luncheon entitled "What's in Your Bag?"  It consisted of ladies bringing salads and lots of desserts, and a gently used purse for a purse exchange.  Ladies picked numbers from a box, and then about 1 out of every 5 ladies answered a random question about the contents of their purse.  It was a fun time of getting to know new people and attach some names to those that I'd never known personally.

After the purse exchange, I shared a devotional that God had layed on my heart.  Several ladies told me they couldn't come and wanted me to blog about the devotional, so here's what I shared, plus a little more.  

There's a lot of different kinds of bags.  You've got your over-the-shoulder bag.  Your clutch.  Your "dump" bag - you know the kind...big enough to dump everything you will need plus some extra "just in case".  We've got beach bags.  I personally have some bags under my eyes, and definitely, we can't forget the ever-hated saddlebags.

So as I prepared for the devotional, I thought, how can I relate this "bag" theme to our life?  I looked up the definition of a bag on dictionary.com.  This is what it said:  "A container or receptacle, capable of being closed at the mouth."

Hmmm.  Now that's an interesting definition, isn't it?  Especially when comparing it to our life!  At times, perhaps, my life could be considered a "bag."  (Depending on who you talk to!)  What about you?

But as I prayed more about God wanted me to share in relation to this theme, I felt He was asking me to dig a little deeper into this "bag of life" idea.  Down to the bottom of the bag.  You see, just like some of those purses that are weighted down with those big items that make your purse too heavy to carry around, sometimes we allow things into our life to do the same - weigh us down.  And when those things sink down to the bottom of our "bag of life", things you don't want to deal with or things that they're too painful to deal with, what are they called?  Baggage.  

Baggage is defined as "things that encumber one's freedom, progress, development, or adaptability."  In other words, "Baggage" is the things in your life that keep you from being all that God wants you to be.  And a lot of time, that baggage has its roots in anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, hurt feelings, and years of built up emotional pain. 

Bingo.  Finally, I knew this is what God really wanted me to focus on.  You see, probably like you, I have had plenty of experience with baggage in my life.  But about 24 years ago, I learned and started to put into practice nine words - words when joined together bring extreme power and healing, with God's help.

Let me back up.  I grew up the youngest of four children.  I had three older brothers, and yes, I was the baby in the family in every sense of the word.  I was pretty close to my middle brother, but I had a mouth on me, and I used it to try to destroy my other two brothers at every chance I could get.  They did the same to me, mind you.  It was a hate-hate relationship.  Like many siblings, we just simply didn't get along.  There were countless times when my brother and I would get in a screaming match, and we'd get sent to our rooms.  We'd yell across the hall in a whisper at each other and continue the fight, whenever possible.  When my mom decided we'd had enough punishment, she'd line us up and say, "Tell your brother you're sorry."  "Tell your sister you're sorry."  And we'd turn to each other, "Sorry." 

And that was that. 

The situation was swept under the rug until the next day, when it would start all over again.

But the truth is that with every fight, I would put that little boulder into my "bag of life" and despise my brother a little more.  And he did the same with me.

Fast forward to when my husband and I started dating.  With our first big fight, my temper raged, and my mouth started spewing the only way I knew how to deal with things - in anger.  Then he started to speak to me in a foreign language, and truthfully, although he's studied Greek, Hebrew, and Spanish, he didn't really know a foreign language.  But it was foreign to me, for sure.  He said to me these nine words:  "I'm sorry.  I was wrong.  Will you forgive me?"

I think that was the first time I'd ever heard those words strung together in that order, and I didn't really know what they meant, nor did I understand how to receive them.  I looked at him, spewed a little more, but then I could see he was waiting for a response from me.  Trying to end the awkward moment, I said, "Sure." 

The next fight we had, I had my ammo ready to start letting him have it for everything I could think of to attack him with.  It was one of those "shoot first and ask questions later" kind of deals.  But mid-way through my rant, he stopped me and said, "But I asked you to forgive me for that, and you said you did."

To stay I was stopped dead in my tracks is an understatment.  I knew I didn't have a leg to stand on, and I was going to lose that fight.  Also, for the first time in my life, aside from understanding God's forgiveness, my eyes were opened to what it means to really, truly forgive someone.  Personally forgive.

I was only about twenty years old, but even then, I already had a lot of heavy items in my bag of life.  But from that point on, I was determined to not add more, if I could help it.  Even in the last few years, God has started to remove some of those really heavy ones, placed there from years of unresolved issues with my brothers. 

This concept of forgiveness is really something foreign in today's society.  Think about it.  When was the last time someone asked you to forgive them?  And how awkward was it when it took place?  Sometimes I've asked people to forgive me, and their response to me was, "It's ok."  But what does an "it's ok" response do?  It validates the situation.  It allows the person to put the item back in their bag of life, with the possibility of it weighing them down in the future.

Now I have to be honest, here.  We are human.  In my twenty-two plus years of marriage, there have been plenty of times that we've had a big fight, and Frank has asked me to forgive him.  At times, I have been just so angry that I decide I can't do it.  Sometimes I've told him, "No."  Sometimes I've told him "Not  yet."  But it usually doesn't take too long for the Holy Spirit to convict me of my unforgiveness, and within a short period of time, with God's help, I've been able to make the choice to forgive.

Galatians 5:22-23 says the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance."  When we fill our life with all this baggage of unforgiveness, bitterness, unresolved anger and emotional pain for years and years, how much room in our life is there for these character qualities that God actually wants us to have?  Not much, really.  And on top of that, what happens to you when you add that "one more thing" into your bag of life?  You know the one, the "straw that broke the camel's back" incident.  Was it really the "straw" that made you get so mad and explode at that person?  No, it was all the other things in your bag of life building up, and it was the weight of that one light straw that put you over the edge.

On a side note, this concept is one of the most powerful things you can practice with your children.  There have been countless times I've been "pushed over the edge" and lost my temper with my children.  Stress at work, financial pressure, things I can't control, plus "one more thing" has resulted in me exploding and taking it all out on one or both of my kids.  But do you know how powerful it is to say to your son, "Jacob, I'm sorry for losing my temper with you.  It was wrong of me to do that.  Will you forgive me?"  Powerful is an understatement, really, and it models for your children the right way to deal with things, instead of sweeping them under the rug. 

Ephesians 4:32 says "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ sake has forgiven you."  If Jesus can save a mess of a life called Beth Banfill, then who am I to choose to not forgive someone else?

So, think about it.  Is there someone in your life that you've wronged and you need to go to and forgiveness?  Maybe its the other way around.  Maybe someone hurt your feelings and they don't even know it, but you're carrying around that emotional pain that is weighing you down.  What are you going to do about it?  Are you going to stew and just decide you don't want to deal with them anymore?  Avoid them?  Leave the church so you don't have to see them?  Or maybe your revenge plan is to unfriend them from facebook.

Life happens, and we are human.  We probably offend people every day without knowing it.  Sometimes people get offended just because they're really sensitive people.  But as Christians, we need to be sensitive to how we are perceived, and we need to be taking personal inventory of our emotions.  God wants us to deal with those things that weigh down our bag of life.  He doesn't want us to allow them to sink to the bottom and let them determine our future actions. 

Do you and God need to do some emotional healing and cleaning? Forgiveness is not easy, and just because we forgive, doesn't mean we forget.  But the bag of life can definitely not weigh us down so much when we practice Godly forgiveness.  

So I ask you, "What's in your bag?" 

 

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Extra, extra hot fudge, please.

"But the one who does not know and does things
deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. 
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded;
and from thw one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." 
Luke 12:48

 

Any time I order a sundae at Sonic or McDonald's, I order a hot fudge sundae, extra hot fudge.    Sometimes I phrase it, "lots and lots and lots of hot fudge."  Sometimes I'll ask for it with "double-triple extra hot fudge."  You get the idea.  It may cost me a little extra sometimes, but it's oh-so-good.  I'm a hot fudge freak, and you can really never have too much of it on your ice cream.  You do know that, right?  I don't like chocolate sauce on my ice cream - it's too thin and mostly, it just doesn't add the rich chocolate flavor that hot fudge does.  Yes, that's it.  Hot fudge makes it rich. 

Frank and Amber are out in California, looking at potential colleges for Amber.  Jacob begged me to have a friend over, so I thought it would be great to have his friend go to church with us this morning, then come over and play Minecraft afterward.  Minecraft, in case you don't know, is their obsession.  I can't even begin to describe it to you, but all I know is that if it were up to Jacob, his friends and him would be on skype together all day long, conquering the Minecraft bandits, and building new kingdoms, or whatever they do.

Now, I've never met this friend of his, but Jacob met him last year when he attended Cooper Jr. High, and they became fast friends.  I picked him up for church this morning, and like a good mom, I tried to get to know him a little.  After all, I wanted to know what kind of kid my son is hanging out with, you know?  But in the process of learning "who this friend is", God showed me a bit about myself, while humbling me in the process.

This is what I learned... 

This friend has 2 sisters, one older and one younger.  They all have different last names, because they all have different dads.  He wasn't ashamed of this fact.  That's just "life" for him.  He doesn't know any differently.  Me?  I grew up in a hot fudge kind of family.  My parents were married until the day my dad passed away.  I have three full-blood brothers, all of whom are still married to their "one and only." 

He told me he's lucky, because he lives in a double-wide, and some people don't have a double-wide like he does. 

I asked if his mom has a job, and he excitedly said, "She's starting a new business!"  When I asked what it was, he replied she was going to start selling e-cigarettes.

Our Honda Odyssey is a 2005 Odyssey.  It's paid for, and we have no plans to upgrade it anytime soon.  We certainly don't consider it a luxury vehicle, but let me tell you what this friend's perspective was. 

He asked Jacob, "What is that?"  Jacob replied that it was the screen for the DVD player.  The friend then said, "I knew they made vehicles with screens in them; I've seen it on tv, but I've never been in a van that has one!  That's so cool that you can watch movies in the car!"

He then went on to compliment us on the shades for the windows, the adjustable sun roof, the CD player that actually can load and play 6 different CD's, and the automatic doors that close with the push of a button.  You would think I was driving him around in a decked-out 2014 state-of-the-art vehicle.  My reality: I was driving him around in what many would consider a late-model van.  His reality: it was the nicest vehicle he'd ever been in or even seen up-close.  Our van was one with double-triple hot fudge.

I told the boys I would take them to McDonald's after church so we could eat quickly, and they could get home to play their game.  Jacob's friend said, "My family doesn't ever go out to eat.  I don't really know what they have."  He then told me he was really hungry, though, because he didn't eat any breakfast.  I suggested he get a Big Mac and fries, because I wanted him to not be hungry.

We went through the drive-thru, and as we made our way to our house, I pressed the garage door opener.  Squeals came from the back.  "Wow!  I have never seen one of those garages that actually open by themselves!"  Jacob told him that I pressed the button on the remote control, so it didn't really open all on its own.  That didn't matter to his friend, because as we pulled the van into the garage, he made a comment about our garage.  Now, we have a 2-car garage, and we actually have it clean and organized enough to park two cars in it each night. 

It's another thing we take for granted. 

This friend, well, he had never been in a garage.  Truth.  He told me he thinks it's awesome that we have a garage to park our cars in and keep our things in.  Oh, the things we take for granted.  A home (and a garage) with extra,extra hot fudge!

As we went inside, I had to turn our security alarm off, and more innocent questions ensued.  He turned the corner, and he saw our table in the kitchen nook where we eat.  I told the boys to sit right down, and I would get plates for the food.  Jacob's friend thought it was amazing that we had a kitchen table - a place for us to all eat together and sit down.  I intentionally didn't tell him we had a dining room table too, one that we only use for overflow company, craft projects, or for homework when the kids need to really spread out.

I got the plates, and I told the boys, "Let's pray."  Jacob's friend had that "uh-oh" look on his face, and he said, "I'm sorry, I already ate a french fry."  I told him no worries, God understands!  We prayed, and then I watched in wonder as he devoured a Big Mac, and at least a large French Fry, plus more from another carton.  This boy was hungry.  I wasn't sure if he had no food at home or just chose not to eat breakfast; I was afraid to ask. 

As I contemplated the conversations I've had with Jacob's friend today, the things I've seen him marvel at -- things routine, taken for granted, and mundane to this family --certainly not considered as "special", I'm humbled.  By God's grace, He gave me the forethought to invite Jacob's friend to church and then over for "hang out time" with Jacob.  The boys get so involved in their game that it never dawned on Jacob to do some socializing outside of Minecraft, so when I suggested inviting him to church, Jacob thought it was a grand idea.  As we pulled out of our driveway this morning to get the friend, Jacob and I prayed together that his friend would start to understand what it's like to have a relationship with God.  Because he was so readily able to attend church with us, we naturally deduced that he and his family are unchurched.  For the most part, this appears to be accurate. 

But as I already mentioned early on, in part, my motivation was also to "get to know this kid Jacob spends so much time playing video games with."  As I thought about the events of today, I can't help but know that my perspective was so wrong.  Perhaps I should be more concerned with how my children are influencing others for Christ instead of what kind of influence others are having on my children.  Yes, I need to be concerned about both, but they both need to work hand-in-hand, with one not weighing more than the other.  We sometimes live in our perfect little hot fudge bubble, hoping no one will pop it our disrupt our lives by emptying the jar.  We want our toys; we want our 2 cars; we want our 3.14 children in our perfect little family.  (I believe that average is actually now lower, probably so the parentals can have more toys.)

And my point is that God has blessed our family beyond anything this friend has ever seen.  To some, we look rich.  Extra, extra  hot fudge.  To others, we look middle class, just with some hot fudge.  The truth is that compared to the rest of the world, even this friend of Jacob's is "rich". 

And so that brings me back to the verse...  "To whom much is given, much will be required." 

Friends, it's not just me.  We are rich.  Period,  And God, the giver of all hot-fudge riches, is one day going to ask us, "What did you do with what I gave you?"  And I must have an answer.  We all must have an answer.  Just like the parable of the talents in Matthew 25, when the master returns, will he say, "Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful in a few things, and so I will put you in charge of many things."  Or, will the master say to me, "You wicked and lazy servant." 

In Jacob's friend's eyes, we are probably the richest people he knows.  Yes, having served overseas, compared to African children, I know our family is so rich -- rich in love, in possessions, and in spiritual blessings.  I just didn't expect to be reminded of that fact this morning by a 13-year old boy who lives 8 minutes from my home. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go feed two boys some ice cream.  With lots and lots of hot fudge.  And whipped cream, too.  Because you know, only rich people keep hot fudge in their pantry, for such a time as this. 

"But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows.  From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from thw one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." 

And now that you know, you, like me, have no excuse.  Think of that next time you order some hot fudge.

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Airplane Repo and Auto Pilot...

 "This is what the Kingdom of God is like.  A man scatters seed on the ground.  Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how.  All by itself, the soil produces grain--first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head.  As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come."  Mark 4:26-29

One of my new favorite tv shows is called "Airplane Repo."  It's a reality tv show, and as the title reveals, it's all about these thrill-seeking guys who make a living re-possessing airplanes whose owners have defaulted on their payments.  They basically "steal" the airplane and then give it back to the financeer.  And to quote Kevin Lacey, one of the guys on the show, "99% of what I do is 100% legal."

The language can be strong, but the situations these guys put themselves into in order for the big pay-off is more than intense.  Once they think they've located the plane that they're looking for, they have to somehow sneak into the hanger where it's being stored.  (All with a camerman on their heels, mind you!)  Then they verify the serial number on the tail to make sure it's the plane their looking for, and fnally they have to locate the log books.  You see, without the log books, the plane's value reduces instantly in half.  Finally, they literally have minutes to perform a check on the airplane to see if its flight worthy - that's not much time to make sure everything works - and then they take off to return the plane to the bank or individual who hired them.

On one episode, after weeks of near misses, the "Airplane Repo" guys found and took possession of a $3 million dollar plane.  The payoff?  $300,000.00  The biggest payoff of their career.  The problem?  Once they got in the air, they realized that the radio controls didn't work.  There was no calling the tower. Auto-pilot wasn't even an option.  They had little fuel, and the pilot told them they literally had five minutes or less to figure out what to do because they were in a high air-traffic area in southern Florida. Within minutes, they would be in a head-on collission with another plane.  

What happened next?  You'll have to go to Discovery Channel and watch for yourself. 

Now, I don't know a lot about Auto-Pilot or how it works.  But I do know the concept.  It's for simple people like me.  Set something in motion, and if the parameters are set correcly, it will work like a charm.  Right?

I think that's why these verses intriguted me this morning.  So many times we preach against letting yourself go on "auto-pilot" as a Christian.  Why?  Because usually when we go on auto-pilot, it's by human design.  We do what we want, caring little for the things of the Lord and caring more about our #1 priority - the ever important ME.  Human auto-pilot always has the parameters not quite set appropriately.

Yet at first glance, these verses seem to give the opposite idea of the whole "auto-pilot" concept as a Christian.  Jesus shares the parable of "the good seed."  In it, the farmer scatters the seed, and it appears that seed does what it's intended to do, without ever being attended to.  It grows into full maturity, and the farmer doesn't know why, because he's never done a thing for the seed except to scatter it on the ground.  

I'll admit it - I'm a bit hard-headed.  (OK, maybe more than a bit.)  And I'm a simple thinker.  So when I read this the first time, it sure seemed to me like Jesus was saying that some seeds (baby Christians) grow in the Lord, just like they are supposed to - almost like they are on "auto-pilot."  And the end result?  They reach full maturity.  

Simple concept, right?  

No, not exactly.

Now, I've been a Christian a long time.  And that whole concept just doesn't jive.  Everything I've learned tells me that living the Christian life and growing in maturity takes discipline.  I have to work at it.  (Not to be confused with working FOR it!  My eternal destiny is settled, and it was settled at the point that I committed my life to Christ and put my faith and trust in Him!)  But the point is that I can't just go on auto-pilot and expect to eventually be a mature Christian.  

When something doesn't make sense to me, I don't just accept it at face-value and move on.  I need to understand.  And I just couldn't grasp this whole concept of how a seed, paralelled to a baby Christian, could sprout and grow and reach the point of maturity, all without the farmer even knowing how or why. I knew there was something I was missing.

So I read the passage again.  I re-read.  I read a third and fourth time.  Yes, I know, I'm hard-headed, I've admitted that already!  It wasn't until I sat and typed out each word of the parable that it hit me. The seed itself had nothing to do with the growth and maturity in the story.  The farmer had nothing to do with it.  What produced the crop?  It was the soil.  It was only when the seed was firmly established in the soil that the seed was nurtured to achieve its purpose.  

Read it again - A man scatters seed on the ground.  Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how.  All by itself, the soil produces grain--first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head.  As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.

The only thing the seed did was to stay planted in the soil, and the natural outcome was that the seed flourished and grew into its intended purpose.  And what is my soil?  It's Jesus Christ.  My job is to grow into the person that the Lord wants me to be by keeping myself firmly planted and established in Him. There is no auto-pilot in this formula.  In fact, if I don't have constant communication with the control tower, just like the Airplane Repo episode I mentioned earlier, I would crash and burn.

Aren't you thankful God redeems us?  Aren't you thankful He provides fertile soil for us to grow, and when we go on auto-pilot, he still possesses us and doesn't re-possess (give us back to the original owner)?  I know I sure am!  I'm also quite thankful for the flight plans and log book He gives me in His word.  

My challenge for today:  Guard against going on auto-pilot.  Be disciplined daily to keep nyself firmly planted in the fertile soil of Jesus.  Read my Log Book and Flight Plan daily.  Change the oil (confess!) Stay fueled up for the unknown trip ahead.  And just like the seed, grow into the person God created me to be.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

The Choke Hold...

"The farmer sows the word.  Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown.
As soon as they hear it, satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them.
Others, like seed sown n rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy.
Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life,
the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word,
making it unfruitful.  Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it,
and produce a crop --thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times what was sown."
Mark 4:14-20 

 

I'll admit it.  When I was a teenager, I was a "Big-Time Wrestling" fan.  I could cite stats on Hulk Hogan, Jake the Snake Roberts, Sergeant Slaughter, Andre the Giant (and a host of others) on demand and sometimes faster than Vince McMahon.  (Only a real fan knows that Hulk Hogan's real name is Terry Gene Bollea...and I knew that long before Al Gore invented the internet or reality TV arrived on the scene.) When I say I was a fan, I mean I was a die-hard fan.  I watched every match, hoping one of my favorite wrestlers would be up next.  

I went to some live matches, too.  I touched Hulk Hogan's shoulder once. He shook his sweat on me as he walked by.  I had Hulkamania posters on my wall; I had a Hulk Hogan "Stretch-Armstrong" doll. You get the idea?  I loved watching WWF wrestling.  No one could convince me it was fake.  Sure, I could see that might be a very slight outside possibility, but I wanted to believe it was real, and therefore, I did. 

Well, thankfully, I've matured a little, and that chapter of my life's obsession is now over.  But in those days, a common wrestling move was called "The Choke Hold."  Real fans also knew it as "The Sleeper." You can probably imagine what it looks like.  One wrestler wraps his arm around the other wrestler's throat until oxygen is seemingly cut off from the brain, causing them to pass out.  (Or at least appear as such.)  

As I read this passage in Mark this morning, I couldn't help but think of "The Choke Hold".  

How many times are we challenged (convicted) by something in the sermon on Sunday, but by Monday, we can't even remember what the sermon was about?  Why is that?  It's because satan's ultimate goal is to put that "choke hold" on Christians.  He can't win the match, and he knows that, but he wants to put the moves on us to make us immobile for the cause of Christ, so he uses the distractions of life to do just that.  

Take a look at verses 18-19:  "...still others hear the word, but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful."

Now, as you probably know, I have a brown thumb.  I have but one plant, and it's one that I'm told you just can't kill.  It was given to me by my boss when I was in the hospital with my 2nd cancer surgery, and it's very special to me.  But aside from that one amazingly still green and growing item in my home, no other plant exists.  My sweet neighbor keeps telling me in her adorable Indian accent, "Beth.  I will teach you."  I just giggle at her and shake my head.  You see, Ankita can try to teach me all she wants, but a horticulturist I will never be.  

A sports fan, though, yes!  That is me.  And sports analogies just work better with my tom-boy, 3-brother/no sister brain.  So when I read this passage, I don't think about the farmer and the seed; I think about a sports event - and in this case - a wrestling ring.  (I don't know why they call it a ring, anyway.  It's very clearly a square, don't you think?)

We are truly in a wrestling match with satan. His one and only goal is to put us out of commission, to put the "choke hold" on us.  The sleeper.  After all, what good are we for Christ when we are just doing nothing?  What good are we when we're distracted by the worries of life and things of the world?  Absolutely no good.  And satan knows it.

But as I thought this through and contemplated the whole scenario and satan's evil tactics, I remembered scenes from yesteryear.  Perhaps you've seen the images as well.  Do you ever remember watching one of those WWF matches and seeing one of the underdog wrestlers just about get beat to a pulp when out of nowhere comes another wrestler to his rescue?  Usually it's one of the really popular ones who has come to stop the slaughter - to be the savior of the day.  Well isn't that what God will do for us?  But the truth is, our tag-team partner Jesus Christ is right there the whole time.  He doesn't have to make an illegal move onto the mat to come to our rescue.  All we have to do is call on Him for help!  At the mention of His name the demons tremble, and the choke-hold is released.

I often wonder how many times I put the choke-hold on myself.  I allow fear to immobilze me from taking a step of faith.  Sure, satan is right there whispering in my ear telling me I'm not good enough, telling me I'm a nobody, telling me to not try because it's a worthless cause.  And it's at that point that I have to realize who is speaking more strongly in my ear.  Satan or Jesus Christ.  Who will I listen to?  Who is King?  And who is the all-time, undisputed, undefeated, reigning champion?  Is it a belly-wallowing serpant?  Or is it the King of Kings who defeated the grave and sin? 

And just like the wrestler, down on two knees, almost ready to concede finds the strength to stand, to defeat the opponent, and to claim the victory in Jesus Name...
Not by might, not by power, but by His spirit, Victory is gained and the choke-hold is broken.

Until the next match.

Be sober, be vigilent, he is walking around looking for people to devour.

 

 --- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com