"The voice of the Lord is over the waters... The voice of the Lord is powerful... The voice of the Lord is majestic... The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars... The voice of the Lord strikes with flashes of lightening... The voice of the Lord shakes the desert... The voice of the Lord twists the oaks and strips the forest bare... The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace." Psalm 29
If you know me at all, you'll know that for the several school years, I've been a huge advocate of our high school's debate program. This year, my daughter Amber is the Debate Captain, so I stepped up and agreed to be the Booster Club President. That may have been a mistake. Check back with me at the end of the year to see if I'm still fogging a mirror.
Anyway, last night I slept solidly for about 2 hours, at best. You see, we have a huge fundraiser coming up in a few weeks, and so far, we haven't enlisted enough parent volunteers to get everything done that needs to get done. I'm not a worrier, mind you, but I am a list maker, and apparently while I was sleeping, my subconscious was multi-tasking, making "to-do" lists, prioritizing other things, and thinking of new things to add to that growing list. True story...because I woke up with my list complete, wide awake. One problem: it was about 3:30 AM.
I tried to go back to sleep, but try as I might, sleep was alluding me. It was pretty apparent that sleep was not in my forecast, but as I deliberated about getting up, the Lord brought to my mind a verse I had memorized long ago:
Isaiah 26:3 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee because he trusts in Thee." (Yes, I memorized it in the King James Version, but if that's a foreign language to you, here's some other versions below...)
The New Living Translation says, "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You."
The New American Standard says, "The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You."
When I have a lot of pressure on me to get things done, I feel the stress in my joints and upper back. I start to feel as though my body is filled with my old friends Arthur and Itis, and I long for relief from some ibuprofin. But this morning, the Lord gave me a very clear recipe for the stress relief and peace I need, and it wasn't "take 3 aspirin and call on Him in the morning." He reminded me that my #1 responsibility is not to Debate, not to work, and not even to my children or husband. My #1 responsibility is to keep my mind focused on Him and keep trusting Him. If I do that, He will provide the peace I need. And you know what? He's big enough to take care of all the little things on my "to-do list". In fact, He can even take care of the big ones on that list, too!
What does all this have to do with "the voice of the Lord" and Psalm 29? Well, over the last few days, I've really been focusing on this passage. I've been "stuck" on it, in fact, not really feeling the freedom to move on to something else. I've been enchanted by the power of God's voice, as visible in nature. I've been captivated by how strong the voice of the Lord actually is - strong enough to split the cedars! Yet sometimes my voice is so much louder than His that I don't hear Him. Sometimes I walk around with my earbuds glued in my ears, or maybe even an index finger in each ear, intentionally drowning out anything I don't have time to hear. I have my agenda, my "to-do" list, and I have my day planned out from start to finish. I try to merrily go through life with a good attitude and cope with what comes my way, often paying no attention to the voice screaming loudly (and sometimes whispering softly) in my ear.
I re-read the passage again this morning, for the fourth day in a row. You know what? I find it a bit ironic that all week my attention has been on the powerful images described in Psalm 29 about "the voice of the Lord"...ironic, because I never even noticed the last verse in the passage:
"The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace."
PEACE.
That's exactly what I need, and it's exactly what God promised me at 3:30 this morning. Keep my mind on Him, and He'll keep me in perfect peace.
I think it's no mistake that God whispered Isaiah 26:3 to me in the wee hours of the morning and then later had more promises of peace for me in this same passage that has captured my attention for four days straight.
"Lord, may I never speak so loudly that I cannot hear Your voice. May I tune my listening to Your frequency, so that whether You bellow or whisper, I will not only hear You, but I will listen, and I will obey. Thank you for perfect peace; peace that only You can provide in the midst of craziness; peace that comes only from keeping my mind steadfast on You."
"You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him. Teach them his decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave. But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied.” Exodus 18:18-23
Some of you may be familiar with this passage above. When you really start to pick apart Exodus 18, you can see some incredible leadership principles that are very applicable for today. But this blog is not about leadership - I'll leave that to my husband Frank who is working on his PhD in Global Leadership. Leadership and studying leadership is his passion, not mine, really. But I have learned a few things about this subject in my (gulp) 44 years of life.
Moses was trying to lead the people of Israel, but the problem was that he was micro-managing every little detail of the job, small disputes and large. He couldn't see the forest through the trees. His father-in-law Jethro came over for a visit and watched Moses in action one day, then Jethro cut to the chase and told Moses the way he saw it. In today's lingo, he said, "Dude! What are you thinking? This job is too big for you to do everything by yourself! You need a team of people to help you so you can keep your eyes on the big picture of leading God's people!" Jethro didn't mince words with Moses, and like a wise son-in-law, Moses immediately put Jethro's advice into action.
As I studied this passage, I couldn't help but think of Ireen, the Zambian orphan girl I mentioned in my last blog. I kind of feel like Moses. Overwhelmed, because the job set before me is bigger than I can handle. It overwhelms me. Like Moses, it consumes me.
Ireen's story is poignant; I wanted to give it time to resonate, and I didn't want to post something directly after it that would detract from the potential impact, so I've held off on posting anything else about our trip. But as tends to be my problem, I was less than "fruit of the loom" brief in telling Ireen's story. Some have told me, "I haven't had time to read it yet, but I will." I get that, really I do! So my goal with this blog is to make it short enough to read on your mobile device while in line at Target; short enough to read during the commercial of a Rangers game; and short enough to read before your kids start school on Monday.
Back to Moses. He was trying to do it all himself. The job was overwhelming. He needed a team. And that's what I need for Ireen and her little brother. I received an update recently saying that Ireen's assessment by the CPU (Child Protection Unit) is still pending. I believe in my heart that maybe it's still pending because I haven't found enough sponsors yet for her and her brother to be rescued to live at the Tree of Life Village. It's a burden I wake up thinking about, dream about, and go to bed praying about. I have some of their sponsorship committed to, mind you, but if the government sees fit to place Ireen and her brother in the full-time care of the ministry in Zambia, I definitely don't have enough.
If your heart was broken for Ireen like mine, or for any of the other girls I will post about in the coming days, and you want to step up to be part of "Team Moses" and sponsor an orphan's education or full-time care, would you message me or call me? Maybe you can't give any significant amount on a monthly basis, and I understand that, really I do! Our family is in the midst of actively raising our monthly support as well for our ministry and living expenses. But just because we are "in the ministry" ourselves doesn't excuse me or exempt me from being a giver...and a cheerful one at that!
So this is my final plea (for now!) for Ireen and her brother Nicholas. Would you consider teaming together to accomplish the task? Maybe you can only give $10 - $25 a month. Someone told me they think they can start to donate on a monthly basis now that their Compassion International child is in her 20's. Someone told me they can give $50/month and would commit to 1 year of sponsorship. Whatever you can give, please know that it is desperately needed. Please message me so we can talk more and I can share more about how to join "Team Moses."
I have many more stories to share about what God did in the lives of these sweet girls in Lusaka, Zambia, but before I move on, I must be sure I have done what God has asked me to do. Please stop and pray now and ask God how you can help make the burden lighter.
"The work is too heavy for me; I cannot do it alone."
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
"Blessing Time" was a scheduled part of CAMP LIFE each day. This is when I could go spend one-on-one time with each girl, along with my Zambian partner Magdalene, of course. I'd heard others who had been to CAMP LIFE before say how this was their favorite part of the day, and I was anxious to get to know these girls a little better.
Education is key in bringing about change in the lives of these children, and as I said previously, that is a luxury that most of them are not able to afford. Through Family Legacy's Father's Heart Sponsorship program, children are able to attend a Lifeway Christian Academy and receive one meal a day. In addition to that, as an incentive for the child's good attendance, extra "blessings" of food are given to the caregivers at home. You see, many families would rather keep the kids at home to do the work or take care of the other children. Some of the situations are much like child/slave labor, and that's why the extra incentives have been built in for the caregivers.
To sponsor a child through "The Father's Heart" program, for children in grades 1-6, there is a is a 1-time $95/enrollment fee for school and then a $44/month commitment. For children in grades 7-12, the sponsorship changes to $66/month and a 1-time enrollment fee of $190. The price differential is because of the additional testings that the government requires to take place for the older children.
This short video is very indicative of what I saw and what a difference an education can make. Take some time to watch...
(If for some reason you cannot see the video, I also posted it on my facebook! You can look there or message me, and I will send you a link!)
Over the course of the week, we had "Blessing Time" with all 10 girls, but Tuesday, we met with Nephie, Catherine, and Ireen. I want to introduce you to each one, so you can pray for them specifically for them.
This is "Nephie". Is she not just beautiful? Just look at that sweet, innocent smile! I think you'll find that I'm going to say almost that exact same thing about all my girls. They are all so beautiful, and I would soon learn just how beautiful, inside and out!
Her real name is Nephel Phiri, and Nephie is the one mentioned in the earlier blog who spelled her name wrong on the necklace, but "Nephie" just seemed to fit her well. The last name of Phiri is a common name in Zambia, kind of like "Smith" or "Brown" is here. When I arrived at CAMP LIFE on Monday, looking for my Zambian partner Magdalene so I could identify my group of girls, apparently she spotted me first, so Magdalene sent Nephie over to get me. She literally attacked me with hugs as if we were long, lost friends. "Auntie Beth!!! Come this way!!!!" And that was my first greeting from Nephie, actually, with any of "my girls".
When I sat down with Nephie for "Blessing Time", I learned that she's 11 years old. I asked if she knew her birthday, and she did not. We were told that many of the children have no idea what day they were born, only about how old they are. My heart cracked a little more. If you know me, you know birthdays are big for me. My husband jokes that I celebrate "Beth's Birthday Month" and proclaim it as a national holiday. We were instructed to write down a birthday of 1/1/and the year if the child didn't know her birthday, that way the ministry could identify the child's birthdate as being "unknown."
Nephie is in grade 3, and praise the Lord, she currently has a sponsor through the Father's Heart program. But did you catch that? She is in grade 3, but she is 11 years old. That means Nephie is already 3 years behind because of not being in school. Can you imagine your 11 year old being in 3rd grade, but still being smart as a whip? My heart split open a little more.
When I asked her what makes her happy, she said "I'm happy because I get to go to school now." How many of our children will answer that question like that? But these kids know and understand the value of education. How I wish our children could really grasp that same importance!
Nephie is a single orphan - her mom passed away, and she lives with her dad. She said that there are 8 children in the family, 4 boys and 4 girls. She said she sleeps on the floor of a two room house. Nephie has goals of being a nurse one day, and she asked that we pray for her to be able to concentrate at school.
I asked her what pains her, and she told me what pains her is listening to her 18 year old brother cry throughout the night in pain, due to his sickle cell anemia. She said they don't have any money for medicines, so her brother cries a lot, and that makes her sad. I asked her if she feels safe at home, and she said now that her community chased away one of her neighbors, she does feel safe. She said the man kept preying on her, but he never hurt her though. (Praise God for His protection!)
I learned that before coming to CAMP LIFE, Nephie had already asked Jesus into her heart. However, sometimes she attends a JW church. Please pray that God will invade her home and she will understand the difference between truth and lies, as her mind is probably getting mixed messages. Finally, Nephie asked that we pray for her dad to find employment. We prayed together, hugged, and I told her if she wanted to talk with me anytime later in the week, just to let me know. Please pray for Nephie and the prayer requests mentioned!
At the end of the week, each child was given a wool blanket. This is a picture of Nephie with hers. Special thanks to my friend Ashlie Rich who sponsored this blanket for Nephie. (More on the blankets in a later blog!)
The next "Blessing Time" we were able to do was with Catherine - Catherine Tembo. Catherine was my oldest orphan girl. She is 14 years old and even knows her birthday - November 9th, 1998, but as I quickly learned, she's already had a harder life than most people I know. She's a double orphan - both her mom and her dad have already passed away.
Catherine shared with us that after her parents died, she used to live with her auntie. The auntie made her "go out with boys" so they would have money for food. By the grace of God, Catherine's grandma heard about what was going on, and she stepped in and took Catherine away from the auntie. Now, she lives with her grandma, 2 brothers, 2 uncles, and 5 cousins in a 2-room house. She said there are 8 people who sleep on the floor in the room she sleeps in.
Pictured above is Catherine Tembo. Can't you just see the joy of the Lord come through her face as she sings one of the praise songs, while waiting in line?
Remember that first "Small Group" I talked about from Monday? The one where I was so concerned about the girls not understanding the decision to accept Christ into their lives? Well, when I asked Catherine if she had ever thought about making that decision for herself, she told me, "I already did that." I asked her to tell me more about it, and she said, "I made that decision in "Small Group" on Monday, Auntie Beth! Isn't that just like God? He has all the details wrapped up perfectly, and we don't need to worry, not one bit!
Like Nephie, Catherine is also blessed to already have a sponsor through the Father's Heart program. She attends the Lifeway Christian Academy in her compound of Chainda, and her favorite subject in school is English, but she has a goal of being a teacher one day.
I asked Catherine if she feels safe at home, and she said she does most of the time, now that she lives with her grandma. But she did say one of her uncles gets drunk all the time and screams at her, "Follow your father to the grave!" She said once he threw a big stone on back, but when he is drunk, she now just tries to stay away from him.
Catherine wept as she asked us to pray that God would forgive her for her past mistakes with boys and that she will stay pure now that she's a child of the King! She was a child. A victim, really, and yet she was holding guilt for what was forced upon her. We prayed together, and I believe God healed her heart and made her whole again. That's what He promises to do, you know, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
Catherine asked that we pray that her sponsor will be able to continue, then she said one more prayer request. "Please pray that God will add years to my life." This 14 year old girl knows all too well the reality of the brevity of life. She has seen it. She has lived it. And she doesn't want to repeat the cycle of death.
"Please pray that God will add years to my life." - Catherine Tembo Special thanks to my friends Steven and Kelly Bardeua who sponsored this blanket for Catherine!
We had time on Tuesday for one more "Blessing Time" - with a little girl named Ireen Phiri, but I will save that story for the next blog. I'm well aware that as I type all the details, most people don't have time to read all the details, and her story is one that cannot be missed, so stay tuned. It's her story that keeps me awake at night, and haunts me during the daylight hours.
Take the time to pray for Nephie and Catherine, will you please? Especially pray that they will be able to stay in school and grow in the Lord! And pray that God continues to bind up the wounds of these brokenhearted ones who have lost so much.
"I have come that they might have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10
FINALLY! The day was finally here for me to meet my 10 girls! I was giddy with excitement, and it wasn't from the ice cold shower I had, either. (Actually, I did have about 1 minute of scalding hot water before it turned ice cold, but hey, "this is Africa" - what do I expect?)
But you know what? God sure has a sense of humor. After all this waiting, we didn't get to meet our kids right away on Monday morning. No, the ministry felt it was important (and they were right!) for us to go tour the city and see some of these compounds and slums that our children were coming from. The tour guide for my bus was a man by the name of Clay Hughey, a staff member with Family Legacy.
Admitedly, I am an observer of people. I try not to be judgemental, really I do. But I can't help but form evaluations on people based on what I observe. The old saying "actions speak louder than words" is true, and after spending part of my week as an eye-witness to the great Clay Hughey, I must say that I hold nothing but high respect and deep regard for this man and his family. They don't just spend the summers doing CAMP LIFE in Zambia. No, they live there full time. You see, I had "known" Clay's name over the years. I have done countless tickets for him. It wasn't his wealth of knowledge about Zambia, and it wasn't his rather quick wit. No, what impressed me about Clay was his compassion and wisdom in helping make key decisions for the ministry to catapult the welfare of the orphan child. Did you catch that? It wasn't to catapult the ministry. God is using Clay in an incredible way, and Amber and I were blessed to have him as our tour guide for the morning. Props to God, and props to Clay for allowing himself to be used in such a mighty way!
As we entered a compound called Chaisa, I could hear a few gasps from some who were perhaps on their first ever mission trip. Sites like this are not easily forgotten. For me, It reminded me a lot of the barrios in Barranquilla, Colombia -- with one exception. Although the homes seemed similar in structure, the number of small children walking around alone was alarming. On top of that, as Clay gave us the facts on the orphan situation, the number of people that live in the homes is probably twice as many as what I have seen in Colombia. As we learned, it's not uncommon for 12 people to live in a two room shack. We even drove through an area that had recently flooded, but prior to that, the homes were made of plastic garbage bags. Forget the "rooms" - there were no "rooms."
One major component of reaching the orphan children of Zambia and changing the cycle of poverty is through education, and Family Legacy is now the largest private provider of education in the entire country. They call their schools Lifeway Christian Academies, and we were able to tour the LCA in the compound of Chaisa. This particular school has an incredible God-story behind it. You see, in that very spot in Chaisa, there once stood a bar that until Family Legacy purchased the property, housed a brothel. However, the owner of the bar passed away, and his family couldn't agree on what should be done with the property, so the courts ordered it to be sold. Family Legacy was in the right place at the right time. It was God's time. Clay told us about how he went to view the property the first time, and he showed us the rooms that once housed a mattress and a woman, "open and ready for business.' Today, this same property is not only providing a sound education for orphans, it's also teaching them that Jesus is THE WAY, the one and only way!
After the tour of the city and the compounds, it was time. It was finally time to meet the 10 girls that God had entrusted to me for the week. I had butterflies in my stomach, the same kind you get when you go on a first date. (Yes, it's been a long time since I had a "first date" but I still remember what they feel like - that's a feeling you never forget!)
The moment was here, and as I met each girl, I put my hand on their shoulder, their back, their head. I looked them in the eyes and told them I loved them. I told them I didn't know their name or even what they looked like before that day, but I had been praying for them for months. The emotions I felt were unexpected. With a few, I swelled up with tears as I told them these words. I felt an immediate love for them. With a few others, I silently prayed, "I hope I can learn to love this girl, but God, she just looks so unloveable!" Yes, that's the human in me being completely honest. Some of these girls were dirty. Very dirty. Some really didn't smell good, either. And as I walked down the row and gave a personal greeting to each girl, I remembered what Greer asked us to pray, "Lord, let me love this child the way You love them." And somehow God's peace started to take over that anxiety and pressure on me to love them. I didn't have to do anything. God would do it. And He did. He did that and so much more.
Ten precious girls, all lined up from shortest to tallest. Each adorned with a beaded necklace with their name on it - necklaces they had made before I arrived at CAMP LIFE. The first was Memory. Yes, that was her name, and it wasn't very hard to remember, either! Next was Nephie. I learned later that Nephie used the letter "I" instead of the letter "L" by mistake when she made her necklace, and then on top of that, she spelled her name wrong. In actuality, her name was Nephel, but when she made her necklace, it came out "Nephie." She looked like a Nephie, and from that point on, with her permission, that was her name. "Nephie" fit her well, too. The next little girl I met was Ireen. As I met each girl, I tried to make mental notes about them so I could remember their names. I was planning on taking pictures of each one and then studying their faces (and necklaces) that night. Ireen's eyelashes were long and mangled with dirt and grime. That was my reminder. Eye-reen. Then Edina. When I met Edina, I wondered what her story was. I could barely get a smile out of her. She was going to be a tough nut to crack, for sure. Or so I thought. Stella (tight braids, angled to the left). Agness (Scar over her left eye). Jane (Tight braids straight back). Esther (Big eyes, shy). Felistus (Big gap in her teeth). And then finally Catherine, Catherine with a beautiful,contagious smile and a matching scar on her forehead, just like I have. :) (What can I say? I'm visual!)
These were the 10 girls God had entrusted to me to pour myself into for a week of CAMP LIFE, and somehow I knew that by the end of the week, CAMP LIFE would be a reality for them. In our orientation, Greer told us that some of our kids would literally be like "the walking dead." He told us some would come to CAMP LIFE without life or purpose. I was trusting God that none of them would ever be "walking dead" again!
(I didn't realize until Tuesday or Wednesday that the settings somehow got changed on my camera, causing every picture from the first two days of CAMP LIFE to be terrible. But, hey, at least I have "grainy" pictures that look like they were taken with a 100 year old camera! ...and most importantly, I have memories! I just wish I could share those memories more vividly!)
After we all tried to get to know each other a little, it was time for BIG GROUP session. This is where we all go to the Legacy Center, sing and dance (and for me, look like a fool while singing and dancing), listen to "Uncle Greer" teach, and then watch a skit that closely models the horrific life that some of these orphan children live on a daily basis. Since I had older girls, my group was positioned in the very back of the room. "Uncle Greer" taught from Romans 10 about having the power of God in your life. "You must hear the Word of God; you must understand the Word of God; you must believe in your heart; and you must speak the Word of God." Four simple and direct points with hand motions to help them remember. Up until that week, I had only known the "business Greer", but I must say I definitely like the "Uncle Greer" a lot, too! It was so cool to see the other side of the founder of the ministry, the one that loves and cares so much for these children!
After the skit and one more song, it was time for "small group." During small group, I felt very strongly that I should share the Gospel again to be sure they all understood what it meant to accept Christ. I shared my testimony and how my mom had shown me how to become a Christian when I was a small child. I shared Scripture verses with them and just spoke from my heart. Talking about the Lord truly is one of my favorite things to do, and if you know me, just like in this blog, I can go on and on! (Hey, I like to share details! It's the details that make you feel a part of the story, right?)
Anyway, after I was sure that I had explained everything as best I could, I asked the girls if they would like to pray and ask God to come into their lives, forgive them of their sins, and commit their life to Him. Then my Zambian partner Magdalene took over and led some of the girls in a prayer. I started to get goosebumps when I heard them pray. It truly was child-like faith, and as they prayed, I asked God to let this be real in their lives.
Timing is everything, you know, and apparently, I'm not very good at it. Just as the girls were finishing up their prayer, the music came on and announcements started being made about it being time to go home. "The Wheels on the Bus" song blared, and commotion began, There I was, going from a mountain-top high to a super-low emotional moment. You see, one of the things I am so cautious about when it comes to children and salvation is making sure they understand. My heart dropped that there was no immediate follow-up with those that prayed a few moments earlier. I didn't even know WHO prayed that prayer! I didn't know anything. Then God quickly reminded me that He had it all under control - every word I said, the timing, and every prayer that was uttered. I didn't need to know. (More on that in future blogs!)
All 10 of my girls and 10 of Amber's girls were from the same compound - Chainda. As we waited for their bus to arrive, Memory clung to me as if she was my own child and I'd known and loved her my whole life. I grabbed my camera and snapped a picture,
Although she's looking right at the camera, I don't think she had any idea I even took a picture. She was just holding on to me and rocking back and forth. Little Memory. Cute as a bug, and there were times during the week that she had the entire group crying because of the funny things that came out of that little mouth. To say she was a spitfire is an understatement!
As I have mentioned before, Zambia has more oprhans per capita than any other country in the world. Over 1 million. Like me, you might ask "why"? Well, with Monday's CAMP LIFE in the books, we were about to find out one of the biggest reasons. We rode the bus back to the hotel for dinner and our team meeting, then we were told that all "first timers" to CAMP LIFE needed to stay after dinner and watch a documentary film by Sorious Samura. It was called "Living with AIDS," and it was filmed there in Zambia.
HIV/AIDS truly is epidemic in Zambia. Many of the children who live at the ministry's Tree of Life Village are HIV positive. The average lifespan in Zambia is only 38 years old, and people are both reproducing and dying en mass. There is such a stigma with the disease that many will refuse to be tested, or if they do get tested, they will not tell their family, for fear of being eternally shunned.
The documentary focuses much on so called "safe sex" but even more so, it really uncovers why the disease is still claiming so many lives and leaving so many orphans. (The documentary is almost an hour long, but the video embedded here is about 11 minutes long. If you have time to watch even those 11 minutes, you'll get a good understanding of the situation. If you can find the entire documentary somewhere, I would encourage you to watch the whole thing.)
The documentary also shed new light for me on just what children experience there in Zambia. Think about it. Most live in a one or two room home with anywhere from 6 to 8 to 12 or even more living there. The children grow up being exposed to sex from the time they are babies. There is no privacy, and there is nothing done behind closed doors. Urges are acted upon with whatever warm body, willing or unwilling, that is available. And the disease spreads. And the children lose their moms. And they lose their dads. And many of them are left with nothing. Nothing but the disease themselves, passed on from childbirth.
Daunting is not the word to describe the reality of the situation. Haunting is a more accurate description. Amber had terrible nightmares that night. She dreamed that she went to CAMP LIFE the next day and some of her girls had passed away, leaving Amber to carry the bodies in her backpack all day. I don't say that to be grotesque or macabe. The situation is just that dark. The film did the job intended - it brought the reality of the situation in Zambia, the reality of the "life" these children face on a daily basis to the forefront of my understanding.
John 10:10 says that Jesus came so we will have life - LIFE ABUNDANT. That's what CAMP LIFE is all about, so the "walking dead" can find new life in Christ. Some of my girls had done just that on Monday during small group time - they had made a decision to start living the abundant life in Christ!
Truly, it was an emotionally packed day. As Boulder and I layed down, I asked the Lord again to give me His heart for my girls. How I wanted them each to know what it means to truly experience an abundant life in Christ, regardless of their lack of earthly riches. I knew He would be faithful. He always is. Besides, it's called CAMP LIFE for a reason.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, says the Lord, and My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” Isaiah 55:8 (New Living Translation)
I had it all planned out. Or so I thought. After I got back from Tanzania last year, my excitement and love for the people in Bukabwa was overflowing. My one and only goal was to go back to Tanzania as a family the next year - on the June trip. The one that leaves this next week. I started praying about it; Frank started praying about it. As much as our desire was there for our whole family to serve together in Tanzania, it was becoming evident that this wasn’t necessarily God’s plan. Still, I held out hope, waiting to see if circumstances would turn around, praying, and seeking God for His perfect plan.
But in January, that all changed. Quickly and radically. Seemingly out of the blue, I received an invitation for Amber and I to go to Zambia this summer to work with one of my long-time clients, Family Legacy Missions International (FLMI). The call of God for us to go was so clear and evident that even this strong-willed girl abandoned her previous heart’s desire. After one nearly sleepless night of praying about this new possibility, the only answer I could tell God was "How can I say no?" My earlier prayers of going to Tanzania as a family were replaced with wonder, bewilderment, and excitement at what God had up His sleeve.
Let me back up. A few years ago, I took Amber with me to the FLMI 10-year anniversary celebration. At the end of the evening, she was ready to sign up for a trip. Zambia orphans and Family Legacy have been on her heart ever since, but the timing has just never been right for her to participate in one of their summer programs…until now. And that’s what God had up His sleeve! In just a few weeks on July 2nd, Amber and I will leave for the trip of a lifetime, and I can’t even explain every detail that God has ordained.
If you know Amber, you will know that she is a “kid magnet.” She loves children! And this summer, we’ll each have assigned to us 10 orphan children in a program called CAMP LIFE. You see, for every person that attends CAMP LIFE, 10 orphaned children get to come too! While we are there, we will love on these kids, hug them, sing with them, and play with them. But most importantly, we will be able to share with them that they have a Heavenly Father who cares about them and loves them unconditionally. They have a Heavenly Father who will "never leave them or forsake them." (Hebrews 13:5)
So many things had to come together for us to make this trip. Yet somehow, like He always does, God connected all those moving pieces, linked them together, and has formed a beautiful chain that we can look at and say, “Only God. Only God.”
In one of our team meetings in March, I heard the President of the ministry, Greer Kendall, share about some critical needs, one of them being the need for the volunteers to bring with us feminine products for the older girls who are in full-time residence with the ministry. Feminine products are terribly expensive in Zambia, and he said that in March of this year, they ran out of the supplies that were donated the year before. (If you’re a guy reading this, forgive me for being so direct, but it’s just a fact of life!) But seriously, can you even imagine? As women, whenever we want, we not only go to the store and buy what we need, but we also buy what we want. We pick from our preferences, no matter how much it costs. Why? Because we can.
As Greer spoke, my heart broke for those girls. I prayed and asked God to show me how I could help. I didn’t know how it would happen, but in my heart of hearts, I knew He would somehow use me to help meet this critical need. I didn’t know what God was up to, but I knew He expected me to do my part in what He layed on my heart. I also knew that I never wanted to hear Greer say again that they “ran out.”
I was speaking with Greer’s wife Susan one day about wanting to provide pads for the girls, and she suggested to maybe look for some coupons. Immediately, God brought to my mind my friend Laura Sparks who I knew was an “expert couponer!” Now, when I say EXPERT, that’s no exaggeration! Laura has been couponing and finding the deals long before “Extreme Couponing” became a popular television show. I knew if anyone could help me, Laura would be able to. To say she helped me is an understatement. Laura got back to me within a day of me calling her, telling me how to use coupons to get pads for about a quarter a pack. Not only did she tell me about it, but she started to make it her mission, too. Even when she was on vacation, she went out shopping for those girls in Zambia. Both she and her mom Nona Pageler donated dozens and dozens of packages toward my growing collection. God used them immensely to meet such a critical need, and I can't thank them enough!
Never in my wildest dreams would I ever guess that God could stretch a dollar the way He did, but what I did know was that God cares about every little thing in our life, even pads. Yes, I actually wrote that. And I’ll say it again. God cares about pads for orphan girls in Zambia! He cares about our needs. The smallest ones and the biggest ones. We just have to “cast our cares on Him because He cares for us!” I Peter 5:7. What a lesson He’s taught me about the power of prayer. I went to Him and prayed a simple prayer, “God, please help me find a way to get these girls the products they need.” And how true Philippians 4:19 is “My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory.”
In total, we have 329 packages. I don't know yet how much Laura and her mom spent. I keep asking Laura for receipts, and she keeps avoiding answering me like the plague. But whatever it is, when I add it to the $59.00 I spent on what I bought, that equals some God-stretching dollars!
I could share story after story about how God has met every need for Amber and I to serve this summer with Family Legacy. Not only has He met our needs, but He has surprised us with a few bonus blessings that we never expected.
My plans are not His plans. No, they certainly aren’t, and I’m so thankful! God’s plans are bigger, better, and more incredible than anything I could ever imagine. My God cares about me; He cares about orphans in Zambia, and He cares about pads. Yes, I said it again, my God cares about pads! Only God. Only God.
We live in a nice, quiet neighborhood. Actually, until a few weeks ago, we lived (past tense) in a nice, quiet neighborhood...until our neighbors decided to buy a new dog and never stay home to take care of it. At dusk every night, the barking starts, and it goes on for hours. Even though the neighbor keeps the dog inside their home, and our yard doesn't even border this neighbor, we hear it loud and clear from inside the walls of our own home. It's annoying, to say the least - the constant noise. It drowns out conversations, it distracts from studies, and quite often, it interrupts much needed rest. How I wish I could just go buy that dog a muzzle so I didn't have to hear it.
Well, God's been showing me lately that sometimes I'm kind of like that barking dog. Hopefully I'm not as annoying, but if you know me, I'm always quick to yip and yap about what God is teaching me or just about life in general. But you may have also noticed I've not written a lot on facebook or blogged much in the last two months. Well, it's not for lack of trying, believe me. Because I'm innately a barker. But with each effort to build up a growl and utter a howl, the muzzle on my typing fingers has been placed with Father telling me "Shhhh....Be Still and Listen. You have a lot more to learn first, and I have a lot more to teach you."
So this is a short and sweet update, because several of you have contacted me asking why I've not posted lately. I am bursting to share all God has been showing me over the last few months. I've even started countless blogs. But right now, the most important thing He's teaching me is the discipline of silence...so I can really hear Him. Listening. I've never been very good at that, you know. It's a whole lot easier for me to do the talking vs. the listening. And I'm sure that's exactly why God has given me a gag order - a muzzle, if you will.
So stay tuned. I know the order will be lifted at some point, but for now, this barking dog has been silenced, at least for a few more weeks.
So in the spirit of what God is trying to teach me, hum the words to this song with me, will you?
Still (Hillsong)
Hide me now Under Your wings Cover me Within Your mighty hand When the oceans rise and thunders roar I will soar with You above the storm Father you are King over the flood I will be still, know You are God
Find rest my soul In Christ alone Know His power In quietness and trust When the oceans rise and thunders roar I will soar with You above the storm Father You are king over the flood I will be still, know You are God
“…Dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” 2 Corinthians 7:1
Are you a flosser? Most people are or aren’t. They do or they don’t. Me? Well, I was one of those people more classified as “never”. You see, while my parents taught me that I should brush my teeth every day, flossing was not included in the daily required regime. I’m not even sure that I knew about floss back then. The only time I can remember even going to the dentist as a kid was when I was in 6th grade and chipped my front tooth, needing it capped. I’m sure there were other times, but I definitely didn’t go to the dentist twice a year for a check-up like my kids do today. And flossing? Well, that was a foreign concept to me. So I admit it. I used to be one of those people who “don’t”. That is, until I started going to church with my dental hygienist. Then I felt a sudden urge to start taking care of my teeth in the way the dentist has been instructing me to do for years. Why? I had to face someone each week who ultimately would know the truth about my poor habit of not flossing. She would know at my 6 month cleaning by the amount of plaque build-up on my teeth if I’d been doing what I was supposed to be doing.
So the truth is out - I am now an avid flosser, and I go to the dentist every six months, just like I’m supposed to. But because I had those poor dental hygiene habits early-on in life, I kind of suffer now. I have very weak enamel, several crowns and fillings, and my teeth are extremely compacted in the back, because of all the necessary “repair work”. When I say compacted, I mean, tighter than tight. Every time I would floss, the floss would shred and break in my teeth. Until recently, I usually spent more time trying to get the broken floss out from between my teeth then I did manipulating the floss between my teeth. Every floss I bought ending up breaking and fraying. I tried GLIDE, WAXED, MINT, and really, just about everything, but nothing was strong enough to work it’s way through the back of my teeth to floss correctly without breaking. For someone who was trying to have good hygiene practices, it was not the most optimal situation. Literally, I would spend about 15-20 minutes of every morning initially trying to floss, then re-floss and remove the frayed strands that had become stuck in the back. When the floss gets stuck, it can actually be painful.
So as I read in 2 Corinthians 7 this morning, I couldn’t help but think of the parallel between flossing and verse one. It says, “Dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” What does earthly flossing do? It purifies us from things that contaminate our teeth. But what about spiritual flossing? It’s when we are disciplined enough to invite God into those tightly fitted cracks to remove the things in our life that contaminate our body and spirit. Why does He want us to spiritually floss? To perfect holiness. It’s the process of sanctification – becoming more like Him.
God created us as humans with a free will. Just like earthly flossing, spiritual flossing is a discipline. It's a choice. Purifying ourselves is a two-fold action – turning away from sin and turning toward God. In the passage, Paul was speaking to the Corinthians and urging them to not have anything to do with paganism. They were to make a clean break from their past and give themselves to God alone. Paul urged them to identify the things in their lives that were causing contamination and keeping them from becoming more like Christ. He urged them to do some spiritual flossing.
If you’re like me, when you first get in the habit of flossing, your gums bleed a little (ok, maybe a lot!), and it’s not the most pleasant thing to deal with. It's painful. And when you get in the habit of spiritual flossing, truth be told, it’s even more painful. God so desperately wants to remove the plaque of sin that has been built up in those tightly guarded areas, but we have to be willing to seek Him and ask His Holy Spirit to show us what needs removed. We must ask Him to use His super-strength floss on us that doesn’t break off and give out when tested. We have to know that if we are going to be more like Him, as He perfects us and removes the sin that contaminates us, it will be painful, especially at first, if we’re not used to it. But the end result is so worth the pain – becoming more like Him.
You might remember I said earlier, “Until recently, I usually spent more time trying to get the broken floss out from between my teeth then I did manipulating the floss between my teeth.” Yes, until recently. While on a business trip last fall, I ran out of floss, and I was devastated! You see, when you start to floss, you also become addicted to it, in a good way. You don’t feel right if you haven't flossed. So I went around asking my colleagues if they had any floss I could have. Sure enough, one person out of the whole group had some, and she gave it to me. I looked down to see what kind it was: Rite Aid Premium Waxed Floss. I thanked her, but in the back of my mind, I highly doubted that it would be strong enough to withstand my tightly compacted teeth. How wrong I was! This is the best floss I’ve ever used, and never once has it even broken in between my teeth. My flossing time is 5 minutes a day now instead of 15-20, and when I’m done, my teeth feel cleaner than if I had used an expensive brand. (I don’t have any Rite Aids near me, so feel free to send me some! That’s what my mom gave me for Christmas, by my request…that’s how good it is!)
So, if you’re not a flosser, why not? What’s keeping you? You know what you’re supposed to do, and there’s really no excuse for NOT doing it, especially since you now know my secret weapon of the Rite Aid Premium Waxed Floss. But more importantly, are you spiritually flossing? Are you asking God each day to remove the things that are contaminating you physically and spiritually? Are you spending time with Him each day reading His Word? Are you praying and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal truth so that through Him and Him alone, sin can be removed? Then are you confessing and taking action against the sin? Remember, it's a two-fold process, turn away from sin and turn toward God. If your're not flossing, go start today…with both kinds! Make your goal to go “2themax” with God!
“Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? You yourselves are our letter,written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ,the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as minister of a new covenant – not of the letter but of the Spirit for the letter kills, but the Spirit give life.” 2 Corinthians 3:1-6
My friend Sam Ingrassia sent me an encouraging email last month, and in it, he mentioned the impact this passage in 2 Corinthians had recently had on him. I was already in the middle of a study, so I set it on the back-burner and added it to my “things to do” pile, which during this time of year is increasing daily. This week, I felt like God was saying it was time to dive-in and study Sam’s suggestion. I love God’s timing – it’s always perfect – because it really encouraged me to move forward with an area I’ve been praying about for the last few weeks. More on that later…
Take some time to go read the passage. Verse one starts out with Paul asking if the people in the church of Corinth needed to carry letters with them to authenticate who they were. Apparently, there were some false prophets in the day that started forging letters of authority to try to convince others that their “message” was real.
I can definitely relate to this. My full time job is arranging airfare for churches, missionaries, and non-profit organizations. My company has contracts negotiated with every major airline to offer some special arrangements to passengers traveling for these purposes. Believe it or not, there are some passengers who have been discovered through the years carrying false documents, trying to authenticate the purpose of their trip. I've seen it myself, fabricated letterhead with the name, address, and phone number of a church that doestn't even exist. Yes, unfortunately, there are some people who represent themselves in life in a certain way who are not “the real deal.”
But then Paul goes on to talk about those that are “the real deal.” This is really what struck me, and what my friend Sam wanted me to see. Look at verses 2-3 “You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”
Paul was basically telling them that they didn’t need a stone tablet / letter to authenticate the message of Christ because their lives authenticated Him. The Lord God could be seen in the tablet of their heart! In verses 4-5, Paul gave God the credit for this, but just like a proud daddy, he mentioned that God had used him and his ministry to have a part in growing them into that living, breathing authentication.
The application really is two-fold for me as I read this passage. The first question I must ask myself is this: Am I living out my salvation so that others could say the same thing about me? Can others authenticate the Message of Jesus Christ just by the way I am living? Or do I have to in some way “prove” that I am a Christian, because it’s not apparent in my actions and words. I pray nearly every day that I will make the choices so that others see “The Jesus in Me” and that I will be a reflection of Him. I pray that I am living that way, but I know I have so much more room for growth.
But the second part of the application is really what struck me and God confirmed in my heart an answer to prayer. You see, Paul could actually say with confidence (not boasting) that those Christians in Corinth were a result of his ministry. Paul had invested himself into them, teaching them and helping them grow. He didn’t just live his life as a Christian trying to reflect Christ himself, but he poured himself into others. He had a vested interest in those Christians because he had personally invested in them.
As I think back over my life, I can think of a few people that like Paul, I can say, “You are a letter from Christ, the result of my ministry.” But over the last few weeks,not even knowing I was going to study this passage this week, I’ve been asking God if He wants more from me. I sat in a meeting a few weeks ago and listened as one of my friends poured out her heart about the need for someone in our church to step up and lead a women’s Bible study. God has been speaking to me about investing myself more deeply into the lives of others, and when I heard her heart, I committed to pray and ask God if this was something He wanted me to do.
Like everyone else, my life is pretty full. I work a full time job, anywhere from 40-70 hours a week, depending on the season. I and am a wife and mother of two teenagers. I serve on our church’s worship team, host a life-group in our home every other week, serve on the women’s ministry leadership team at church, am active with my daughter’s debate team, write Christian music and poems, blog, and of course, if you really know me, you know I also try to bake lemon bars for my friends to encourage them. Yes, my life is pretty full, and your list is probably longer than mine.
But you know what? We all have the same 24 hours in a day. We all have the same 7 days in a week, and we all have the same 365 days in a year. The only difference between my time and someone else's is how I prioritize it. Truth. As I prayed about starting a Bible study, God just kept telling me that He didn’t want lip-service, He wants action. He doesn’t want me to just blog about living out my Christian life, He wants it demonstrated in a more tangible way. The more I prayed, the more He asked me, “How are you investing yourself in the life of others to grow them?” Like an unprepared student in class, I didn't have a very strong answer.
And that brings it back full circle. You see, God had already shown me that He wanted me to pour myself into others, then He confirmed it through Scripture and through our dear friend Sam sharing this passage. Yes, God’s timing is always perfect. If I had read this a month ago when Sam passed it on to me, it likely wouldn’t have had the same impact. At that time, God wasn’t speaking to me about investing myself more deeply in others. (Or maybe He was, and I just wasn’t listening yet!) Either way, it’s my prayer that I will be the "real deal"...that I will not only be a “living letter” of authentication for God, but that I will also be able to look at others and say with all glory going to God, “You are a result of my ministry.” May we each be a tablet of human heart!
Brave Gideon had 300 men, the Mideonites had a host. But Gideon had the Lord with him, and so he had the most. Gideon had the Lord! Gideon had the Lord! He won the fight with the Mideonites, for Gideon had the Lord!
If you grew up in Sunday School like I did, perhaps you know the words to this song and were humming along as you read them. As I share this morning, not only do I remember this old tune, but for
our family this Wednesday, the story of Gideon takes on deeper meaning.
In the eight year history of Maxpoint Ministries, founded by my husband Frank Banfill, we’ve never had a global call to prayer for our family and our ministry. The time is now. We desperately are asking that you lift our ministry and our family up before Father, specifically this Wednesday, January 23rd. (Of course, if you want to pray for us in between, then by all means, do!)
Gideon’s army was facing a mighty battle; one that looked insurmountable to the human eye. But nothing is insurmountable when you have the Lord, and we know that. So just as brave Gideon saw a mighty miracle take place as God used him and 300 men, we are asking God to give us an army of 300 people who will commit to pray specifically for our ministry and our family (Frank, Beth, Amber, and Jacob) on Wednesday. We would ask that you pray for three things: WISDOM, CLEAR DIRECTION FROM GOD, and for PROVISION.
Please pray as the Lord leads, but here are some of the Scriptures that we will be praying this Wednesday:
“Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” --Isaiah 49:23b
“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times,having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” --II Corinthians 9:8
“I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.” --Revelation 3:8a
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him.” --James 1:5
If you will commit to pray for us, please comment on this blog, on my facebook page, tweet “praying” to @frankbanfill, or send me an email. If you prefer to text me, then by all means, do so! Just let me know in some way of your commitment to pray for us. We are asking God for that army of 300, just like Gideon’s army.
If you’re reading this, then at some point, our lives have become intertwined. Maybe we have gone on mission trips together, attend church together or have in the past. Some of you reading this went to college or high school with me. And yes, I can definitely think of some who are reading this now who actually attended elementary school with me! Perhaps our lives are connected because of our 16 year old daughter’s numerous mission trip outreaches and public speaking successes. Maybe we’ve been able to minister to you through sharing how God’s grace has been demonstrated in the life of our 14-year old son who has overcome so many challenges (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfpKq-1rH4A). Maybe our lives have been laced together through sharing my cancer story and God's healing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCN2MGSzym4).
Perhaps you’re reading this post because someone has passed the link on to you over the course of time or maybe you just stumbled across it “by chance”. I truly believe that there are no “chances” with God, and if you are reading this, then God has a reason for it. I am asking that you pray for our family and our ministry. We are asking God for an army of 300, just like Gideon had, and I am asking you to let me know that you will be praying.
Will you enlist, if just for a day, this Wednesday, January 23rd?
*Pray for Frank, Beth, Amber, and Jacob Banfill *Pray for Maxpoint Ministries *Pray for WISDOM *Pray for CLEAR DIRECTION FROM GOD *Pray for PROVISION
Thank you in advance for being a part of the army!
"God chose me before the foundations of the world..." Ephesians 1:4
Inadequate. Have you ever felt that way? If you’re a girl,more than likely you have. Such feelings tend to hit girls more than guys, and it’s something I grew up believing to be truth about myself. Not because my parents didn’t love me, believe in me, and give me every opportunity to have those feelings of positive self-worth. No, not at all. In fact, my dad was my biggest fan. I can remember hearing him always brag on me to my relatives about “this or that” all the time. But there were other events in my life that affected me so negatively that despite my parents best efforts, I grew up not believing in myself. It wasn’t even a battle that I struggled with – it was truth I believed.
Looking back, it was as if I was invisible. I went through the motions of life, but no one recognized "the real me” inside. In fact, out of my graduating class of 12 (yes, it was a small Christian school!) I was the only person not listed in the yearbook as “Most likely to…” In truth, I at least thought I would make it as the “Class Clown” – quick wit has always been one of my assets, thanks to my dad. But no, several people were named to several categories, but when it was all said and done, I was the only one not named to anything. I was invisible, and I believed I was in inadequate. Some may have pegged me as such; others never pegged me at all.
Then I met my husband. When we started dating, he spoke truth into my life. He told me all the reasons I was worthy. He told me all the reasons God says I’m worthy. He pointed out my successes; ones I had shoved under the rug as a “fluke.” In truth, he taught me to re-program the way I thought about myself. Most of my friends who have known me only as an adult would never believe how I used to struggle with self-worth.
Over the last few weeks, some things have happened that have brought my emotional state of mind right back to where I was before meeting my husband. I’ve had some situations with friends that have left me feeling crushed, stepped-on, worthless, inadequate, and even invisible. When we are at our weakest, that’s when the enemy attacks, and that’s exactly what he a few weeks ago - with a vengeance. The first part of that week was especially bad, as I played and replayed in my head the situations that had occurred. I questioned friendships. I questioned motives. I questioned me. I questioned God. My heart hurt.
On one hand, I knew the truth – what God says about me. But I somehow couldn’t connect the truth in my mind with my emotions and the pain I was feeling in my heart. I spent about a week of my quiet time just praying, trying to refresh in the Lord. I’ve been reading a book called “Captivating” by John & Stasi Eldredge – it’s the female version of “Wild at Heart.” I highly recommend it, but actually, it only exacerbated some of those feelings that had surfaced. I’m usually a quick reader, but some of the things in this book hit nerves that ran so deep that I literally could only absorb a few pages at a time. God has really convicted me that if unhealthy thoughts are present, they need to be dealt with and turned over to Him.
The other thing God is showing me is that I need to be more transparent. Sometimes we put on our "happy face” and don’t let others see the pain inside. On the flip side, sometimes we’re so busy in our own world that we don’t stop to take time to care about the people around us. I wonder how many of my friends feel invisible and inadequate…and I’ve never even taken the time to notice. I wonder how many people I consider “friends” don’t even consider me the same because I don’t show it in my actions, because I don’t notice or take time to care about them.
Jesus says in John 8:32 says “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Contextually, the verse is speaking about salvation. But I have been claiming this verse in relation to unhealthy thoughts and feelings, too.
Think of it this way. About 4 years ago, I went for my annual physical. I had been losing weight, and at the time of the appointment, I weighed less than the year before. I was proud of myself, and I wasn’t expecting my doctor’s next words. “If you don’t lose weight, it’s not a matter of ifyou’re going to have a heart attack, it’s a matter of when.”
Do you know what that did to me emotionally? I went to the van, and I literally cried myself into a tailspin. I gave up on losing weight and figured it wasn’t worth it if that was the response I received from my doctor. Eventually, I gained back almost everything I had lost.
“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” The BIble also says in Isaiah 1 "Come let us reason together." As I reflect on that incident with my doctor, now I can think clearly without the emotional impact of the situation; I can reason out the truth. The truth was that there is no heart disease anywhere in my family. The truth was that my blood pressure has always been very low, probably averaging 105 over 70. The truth was that my cholesterol was only slightly elevated. My weight, well, ok, I’ll give her that one as truth – I was overweight. But do you think it was truth that a heart attack was eminent? I don’t think so….at least not yet, anyway.
It’s the same thing with the unhealthy emotions I have been dealing with. I have to use the reasoning side of my brain and separate emotion from fact. By God’s grace, I know the truth, I have claimed it once again, and the truth has set me free. The devil may try to convince me otherwise down the road, but for now, I’m claiming victory.
I know there are other friends who are struggling with self-worth, and hopefully by my transparency, God can encourage you. Too often we put a mask on and just let others see the smiles. One of my favorite verses is in Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron.” Friends, let’s sharpen each other, but in order to do so, we have to let others know the real “you” inside.
Look for those people in your life that may feel invisible. Sometimes they can hide it really well. Take time to dig a little deeper into their lives instead of staying on the surface. Make time for them. You have no idea how God can use you to make a difference.
There’s a snake in my garden That slithers near me again To rouse pain deep within Wounds suppressed years before. Forgotten.
And it’s speaking so softly, “You’ll never be worthy.” Those words, how they haunt me. “You’re nothing and you always will be.”
Then the whispers get louder It hisses, and I cower. Immobile. No power. To refute this rattle in my ear.
At a crisis of belief Lies crafted to deceive Pierce through and steal my peace.
As venom taints this fragile bloodstream.
Then I read in God’s love note While searching for the antidote He chose me – that’s truth you know And the snake, he just seeks to devour.
Prince of deceit, no one can tame. With spewing lies and careful aim. He attacks with darts of shame. But my Shield – He will win in the end.
There’s a snake in my garden That slithers near me again To rouse pain deep within Wounds suppressed years before. Forgotten.
My Cancer Testimony This is a video of me sharing my cancer testimony. It was filmed at what would become my home church: Firewheel Church, where we were members until moving to the other side of the Dallas metroplex. Firewheel Church is now known as FiveStone Community Church and is located in Garland, TX.
Jacob's Journey, A Sister's Perspective In first grade, our son Jacob was basically non-functional. Today, well, you'll have to listen to our daughter Amber tell her perspective on Jacob's Journey.
Jacob's Journey, A Parent's Perspective Video of my husband Frank sharing our son Jacob's health struggles in his early years. Scroll down on the page for "Jacob's Journey Part 1" and "Jacob's Journey Part 2" to hear God's awesome work in Jacob's life!