GodandMe2theMax

ISIS in Jesus' time...

“ Now Herod had arrested John and bound him and put him in prison because of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, for John had been saying to him:  ‘It is not lawful for you to have her,’  Herod wanted to kill John, but he was afraid of the people, because they considered him a prophet.  On Herod’s birthday, the daughter of Herodias danced for them and pleased Herod so much that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she asked.  Prompted by her mother, she said, ‘Give me here on a platter the head of John the Baptist.’  The king was distressed, but because of his oaths and his dinner guests, he ordered that her request be granted and had John beheaded in the prison.  His head was brought in on a platter and given to the g9irl, who carried it to her mother.”  Matthew 11:3-11

 

I read these verses yesterday, and all throughout the day, my thoughts rolled back to the daughter of Herodias and I had so many questions I wanted to explore.

*Although clearly prompted by her mom to ask for John’s head, did she willingly obey or did she do it because she had to obey? 
*Did she have the same hatred for John the Baptist as her mother? 
*Did she have nightmares about seeing John the Baptist’s head on a platter? 
*Did she ever experience regret? 
*Was she traumatized for life? 
*Didn’t she realize that her mom and dad were separated because her mom decided to leave her father Philip (Herod’s half-brother) to go be the Herod’s mistress? 
*Did she realize the motives behind the request?  (Herod and Herodias’ hatred for John was only because John condemned the sinful life they were living. )

I’ll never know the answers to these questions; I can only speculate.

I then started to think about the hatred that ISIS has for Christians.  In actuality, they want to eradicate any religion other than their own.  On today, the anniversary of September 11^th, our nation is on high guard against attack.  But a few days ago, my Hindu neighbor who is from India told me that India is actually on high guard against radical muslim attack as well.  (I had no idea!).  

This pure evil hatred that is being expressed in videos is something that they are teaching their children as well.  I saw a video recently of 3 sons of radical muslims who have been trained to be just like their fathers.  The video was a very well-articulated rant of hatred and a threat of eradication of Christians.  When I watched the video, I just shook my head .  These boys were 11 or 12, at best.  And they’ve been taught to allow hatred to consume them.  GOD IS LOVE.  And this video was the complete antithesis of the God I serve.

In light of this passage and the current situation in the world, how much more do we need to instill in our children Godly principles?  If God is LOVE, the antithesis of hatred, am I teaching my kids as much as ISIS is to the contrary?  As much as I’ve tried to teach my children scripture and make daily applications, can I really say I’ve done it with the same passion that is being taught these kids in the Middle East? 

That’s a question I don’t think I can answer in the affirmative, try as I might.

Let’s not just teach our children right from wrong.   Let’s not just teach them Bible verses.  Without the daily application for living, they so easily can be swayed to do things they one day will (perhaps like Herodias’ daughter) regret.  Statistics show that after kids grow into adults, many leave the church, and the #1 reason is because although they may have made a commitment to God and started a relationship with Him as a child, they never really made it their own.  It was their parent’s religion, not their personal relationship.  They never questioned things when they were younger.  They just accepted what their parents said as truth and then once they became adults, they started questioning.  At that point, they’re in college and likely surrounded by the wrong sources of wisdom.

So let’s take some advice from Crosby, Stills, and Nash, “Teach Your Children Well”!

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

The Parable of the ugly Crepe Myrtle...

Matthew 13 3-9, 18-23
“Then He told them many things in parables, saying, ‘A farmer went out to sow his seed.  As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up.  Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil.  It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow.  But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.  Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants.  Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop – a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.  He who has ears, let him hear.’
…(Then Jesus said), ‘Listen then to what the parable of the sower means:  When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart.  This is the seed sown along the path.  The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy.  But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time.  When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away.  The one who received the seed and fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.  But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it.  He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.’ “

 

I’ve said it before.  I have a brown thumb.  I have one living plant in my home, it’s some kind of ivy that is only still alive because I’m told you can’t kill it.  It was sent to me from my old employer at the time of my first cancer surgery, and I’ve been determined to never let it die.  Anything else related to horticulture, flowers, plants, etc., I leave to my sweet neighbor friend Ankita.  

 

Her favorite thing to do is dig in the dirt and plant beautiful arrangements of flowers.  Her yard is pretty bright and full, so this year she moved her creativity over to my yard.  She planted a few flowers, and we’ve talked about what we can do (actually, what SHE can do) to spruce up my boring flower bed area.

When we built the house, I told the builder that I wanted red or pink crepe myrtles in the front yard.  The builder told me the trees were already ordered, but he thought that I was actually going to get some crepe myrtles.  Well, I did.  Ugly, boring white ones that are currently overrunning the front of my house.  I know, I know, I’m pretty picky for someone who doesn’t have a green thumb, but I do have an eye for what looks good…and two big white crepe myrtles just don’t work for me aesthetically. 

As I said, I have two white crepe myrtles, and they anchor each side of my house.  Actually, they are taking over the front of my house.  We trim them back, and they grow more.  (I guess that’s how it’s supposed to work!)  Anyway, Ankita and I devised a plan to make me happy.  We were going to dig up the big white crepe myrtles and transplant them into my back yard.  Then I want to replace them with red or pink crepe myrtle bushes, ones that won’t grow so tall.  By doing so, I’ll get the color I want without having the tall, lanky trunk with ugly white flowers.  (Did I mention white crepe myrtles are ugly?)

So I’ve done some research, and it seems that the best time to transplant a crepe myrtle in Texas is after they go dormant, so I’m thinking that’s going to be in late October, early November.  And that’s what the plan is.

But I can’t help but wonder if the trees will make it in my back yard after I transplant them, or will they be scorched when the heat returns because their roots aren’t deep or strong enough to sustain life.  Our lawn guy told me it’ll probably be a 50-50 survival possibility.  But from what I’ve read, they are hearty trees, and it’s a lot harder to kill them, so I’m going with the internet.  :)  I’m just going to hope and pray the soil in my back yard is the “good soil that produces a crop.”

Bringing the verses back to home, obviously, the tree analogy doesn’t really explain what Jesus meant.  When we share the Gospel with someone who has never accepted Christ as their Savior, well that seed sometimes falls on bad soil.  When that happens, usually the person isn’t ready to hear or is so mad at God about something that they refuse to hear.  That’s when the birds eat up the seed or the seed falls in a rocky place where there’s not much soil.

Sometimes we share the Gospel with people and they show an interest in the seed we’ve planted.  But then something interrupts that desire to learn more, thorns that prevent growth.  And then sometimes those seeds take root and allow growth.

This same parable of Jesus can be applied unilaterally to anything we hear, really.  How many times do we get really excited about something new, but we lose interest and the desire falls by the wayside?  How many times do we become determined to lose weight, eat right, and exercise daily (usually around January 1st) but by January 3rd, the seed that was planted has fallen on rocky soil with birds eating it up.

And for Christians out there, how many times does the Holy Spirit speak to us in a still small voice, nudging us to take action on something for Him, only to forget it completely by Monday morning?

My challenge today is to let the good seed of Jesus, whether it's the Gospel or His still small voice take root in my life so that I don't allow thorns and birds to kill my desire to obey.  My prayer is that 1) when we transplant my crepe myrtles in a few weeks that they will live, but much more importantly 2) when God speaks, I will listen and obey, allowing His seed to penetrate deep in my life, taking root that no one can dig up or kill.  I want my life to be an example of a beautiful red crepe myrtle being used to glorify my God!

 

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Creative parenting...

“Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand…For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks…”  Matthew 12:25,34b

In this passage, Jesus addresses the Pharisees when they accuse him of being the devil himself.  Jesus point blank tells them, “Every kingdom divided against itself cannot stand.”  (Sidenote: This definitely makes me really concerned about the future of the USA with the constant division between republicans and democrats, but alas, that’s not the purpose of this blog…)  

Jesus then goes on to say, “Every city or household divided against itself cannot stand.”  And that’s where I am focused this morning.  The household.  If you know me personally, you will know that my one constant prayer request for about 2 years running now is that we will have wisdom to know how to parent our children as individuals.  Admittedly, parenting is a hard task, and I tip my hat to those who tackle it by themselves.  Unless God puts me in that situation, I can’t imagine ever having to do it.  With our oldest now in college, you would think parenting would be easier, but I’m not finding that to be the case.  At times, I find it overwhelming, especially right now with a full-blown adolescent teenaged boy in the house.

Have you ever built a tower with Lincoln logs or Legos?  Now, truth be told, I haven’t built very many, because my children never really played with those toys.  In fact, Jacob told me the other day that he didn’t play with them because they left nothing to the imagination.  (I thought they were so popular because you could use your imagination to build anything with them!)  Not Jacob, though.  He would rather create something out of paper and tape instead of putting together pre-made pieces that link together to form something.  “That’s real creativity, mom.” 

Top & Bottom Left: A self portrait  Top Right: A set of aerodynamic wings he swears will be able to help him fly (if only he were the weight of a bird)  Bottom right: a net, made from paper and tape, twisted together and tied in knots

Indeed, he has made some incredible things by being creative in this way, and it’s true, even when he was a toddler, he didn’t play with the box of Legos we had purchased.  But if I gave him tape, paper and/or a cardboard box, he would play for hours.  He somehow had a plan in his mind of what the completed project was supposed to look like, and he would execute the plans until the project was perfected.

Top Left - a revolver made completely from tape...not that I'm proud of my son designing a revolver, but you have to admit it's pretty cool.  Top right:  I believe this ended up being transformed into some kind of a shield  Bottom Left: No, this isn't a pitchfork, it's a triton   Bottom Right:  "Rubberband Man", one of my personal favorites, made completely from rubberbands, no glue or anything else.

So if you by chance have played with Legos, imagine working with a partner and laying your foundational Lego pieces.  You begin to build higher and higher, but you realize that something doesn’t look or feel quite right.  You look down and realize the reason is because some of the foundation bricks you laid are no longer there.  Perplexed, you discover that you’re not working with your partner at all to build one big edifice.  You are working together, side by side to build the same thing, but your idea of how it should be done is quite different from your partner, so you end up with two smaller, less stable, very different creations.  Your partner is building a creation and you are building yours. 

When Jesus says “a house divided against itself cannot stand” I can only think of how important it is to be unified as parents in how we raise our children.  This is easier said than done, as I'm learning daily!  Our faith is the first foundation that everything is built on, but then it gets a little tougher.  If you’ve struggled as a parent, maybe like me, you just don’t know what the right answer is.  Do you make them do their homework or do you let them fail?  Are you rescuing them too much or are you being the kind of parent that God wants you to be?  Maybe you’re new to parenting, and you wonder if you should spank your child or if you can correct megative behavior with “time-outs”.  Maybe your husband/wife doesn’t believe in spanking and you believe you should.  Maybe you and your spouse are together building your own Lego creations...separately

As I read this passage, I am reminded that I do not have all the answers.  There are so many “unknowns” in the realm of parenting.  But this one thing I do know, the foundation of parenting must be firmly grounded in Jesus Christ.  I find it interesting that Jesus later says “…out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”  Last week was extremely stressful on me.  Our family was out in California to take our oldest to college, and leaving her out there was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  My husband stayed an extra week, but I had to come home with our son so he could start his sophomore year of high school.  The stress of getting back in the school groove, combined with a week of single parenting, combined with massive stress at work after being gone for 12 days culminated in a massive outpouring of anger on my son Thursday night. 

After he went to bed, the Holy Spirit nudged me (kicked me, actually) and I realized that although the content of what I said to my son was 100% accurate and truthful, the way I delivered it was in no way a resemblance of my Heavenly Father.  I’m so thankful He gives us fresh mercies every morning, because on Friday morning, the first thing I said to Jacob was that I was sorry for losing my temper with him.  I asked him to forgive me, and he did.  As I look back over last week, my daily quiet time was limited to reading the daily “Jesus Calling” while sitting in the bathroom.  I was going a mile a minute dealing with life's stresses that I pretty much neglected my relationship with God.  On top of that, I don’t sleep well when my husband is out of town, so suffice it to say I was one big mess emotionally, and I pretty much relieved all those stresses on my son.  “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”  Yep, that’s what took place for sure.  Again, I’m so thankful that God is a forgiving God who gives new mercies!

But back to parenting...  “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”  Just like Jacob had a plan for each of his creations, as parents, I'm reminded that we must have a plan.  We must have a plan for discipline, for teaching our kids the Bible, and for preparing them for life.  When our kids were younger, my husband and I used to have an annual retreat where we planned out yearly goals for our kids and our marriage.  It was always a time to evaluate what we’ve done right and wrong and a time to ask God to show us the next step.  We no longer have annual retreats, per se, because at this stage of parenting, those meetings have to come much more frequently as we navigate the tender adolescent teenaged years.  Trust me, they more closely resemble weekly, if not daily meetings, trying to come up with a plan that will help tackle whatever the daily problem is.

Top Left:  Helmet (made to size); he eventually spray painted it gold, his favorite color   Top Right: A working bow and arrow, made from post-it notes, tape, and rubberbands  Middle Left: An army ninja  Bottom Left: turtle spinner

So my thoughts are this:  Do you have a firm foundation in your home and marriage?  In Texas, we have to actually water the foundation of our homes to avoid cracks.  Figuratively, are you watering your foundation with the Living Water of Jesus Christ on a regular basis so your heart overflows His love?   Are you consistent in your discipline?  Do you have a unified creative plan in place for each of your individual children?  Do you regularly have marital staff meetings to evaluate your family and set goals?  Are you working together to raise the kids or are you workig your plan and your spouse working his, hoping one of you is doing something right.  And as you work those plans, are you spending the necessary time in the Word so that your heart is filled with God-thoughts and they outpour through your lips? 

All these random thoughts about family, children, and being creative as a unified parental front do really hit home for me.  Parenting is tough.  Sometimes I want to give up.  Sometimes I feel like I can't find a creative way to fix the problem.  Sometimes I try to tell God this isn't what I signed up for.  (Honesty is the best policy, right?  And I'm just being honest here!)  I'm just so thankful for God's Word and how He allows phrases to jump out and hit home in my heart, right when I need to be reminded of them the most.  I'm thankful, too, for a Godly husband who leads our family but mostly for a loving God who loves me in spite of my sinful outbursts and mid-life temper tantrums.

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

Serving where He calls me...by His design...

"As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth.  'Follow me,' He told Him, and Matthew got up and followed Him."  Matthew 9:9 

As I continue my study in Matthew, I have to pause and just recognize God’s intricate and sovereign plans.  We often don’t understand why things happen, but at least for me, that old expression of hindsight is 20-20 usually comes full circle.  God uniquely designed me, every detail, to fulfill His purpose. 

I can’t help but think about this in relation to this passage in Matthew.  Matthew was a tax collector by trade.  He not only collected taxes, but part of his responsibility was also as a record keeper.  How significant is it that Jesus called Matthew to be one of His disciples?  Matthew was uniquely designed to vividly capture and record the accounts of Jesus for us to read generations later.  Yes, I know every word of Scripture written was inspired, but I do believe God often uses us in areas that uniquely fit how He made us, and Matthew was designed for the job Jesus called him to do, for sure.

Design (verb)  To do or plan with a specific purpose in mind

It’s a word that implies creativity. It’s a word that implies forethought.  And it’s a word that implies purpose and intention.  There’s no doubt that throughout Scripture, it’s clear that God designed us.  He knows us by name, and He created us for a purpose.

Psalm 139:1-6,13  “O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. You created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

I can look back over my life and see how God allowed certain things to take place so that I could be who He called me to be today.  Who would have ever thought that taking a job as a receptionist at AAA would have been the first foundation for my career today?  Within less than five years, I had cross-trained for multiple positions within the company and eventually, I was promoted by a district office manager.  I would have never guessed at the time that God would allow taking a job as a receptionist to set the framework for my life in Texas.

But as I think about my design in relation to service to God, I’m kind of back at a crossroads, doing some serious evaluation.  I recently resigned from the women’s ministry team, at least for a period of time.  I felt as though God was telling me to pull back and re-focus.  I don’t know what that means exactly, but I do know a big factor in that is my need to re-focus on my family.  I may have one going off to college this week, but I still have one at home, and my job isn’t done.  It’s easy to do, do, do because you happen to be good at something, and it’s easy to say yes, yes, yes, because no one else will do it.  But when there’s so many “do’s” and “yes’s”, I think you lose focus and become weary.  And that’s where I was.

In his book Doing Church as Team, Wayne Cordeiro talks about DESIGN.  He uses the acronym to bring focus to where you should be serving in the church.  Here’s a quick snapshot of this great tool:

 

D	Desires or Passions	Ask yourself, “What do I love doing?”
E	Experiences	Ask yourself, “What unique experiences do I have?”
S	Spiritual Gifts	Ask yourself, “What are my spiritual gifts?”  (…And if you don’t know, just google “spiritual gifts inventory” to help point you in the right direction.)
I	Individual Style	Ask yourself, “Am I an introvert or extrovert?”  (Do I get energized by being alone or do I get energy from being in a crowd of people?)
G	Growth	Ask yourself, “Where am I in my spiritual growth?”  (If you’re a new baby Christian, you probably don’t want to sign up to teach a theology class.)
N	Natural Abilities	Ask yourself, “What are my natural abilities and talents?  (ie: singing, writing, making people laugh, playing an instrument, art, etc.)

 

So just like God called Matthew to do what he uniquely designed him to do, I know God is going to bring clarity to my area of service within the church as well.  I know He created me with desires, gave me experiences and spiritual gifts, natural abilities, and has grown me in my spiritual walk thus far to serve Him wholeheartedly.  So now, I just need to wait and listen for His call.  Then like Matthew, I will jump in and serve, by His design.

 

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

The treasure chest of my heart...

Matthew 6:19-21  “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heave, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

If you grew up in the church like me, you likely have these verses memorized.  As I re-read them this week, I stopped to think about exactly what they meant, though.  In context, I’ve always focused on what I shouldn’t do.  Don’t be materialistic.  Don’t love ‘earthly stuff’ because you never saw a hearse pulling a U-Haul.  You just can’t take it with you.

But this time, I focused on the other part of the verse.  What we should do.  It says “store up for yourselves treasures in heaven.”  I stopped and thought that through.  What exactly is a “treasure in heaven?”  To figure it out, I had to make some lists and compare them.  I’d encourage you to take a minute and make your own list. 

Here’s the start of mine…and this list could go on and on, depending on how specific I got.

Treasures on Earth
My family	My home & everything in it	Friends
My character/reputation	Electronic devices	My clothes
Scrapbooks & pictures	Safety	Health
Insurance	Coffee	Diet Coke
My dishes (An un-named Banfill recently broke a large & irreplaceable bowl that was a gift from a friend.  After it breaking, let’s just say I realized that I held it as a treasure.)	My job (Yes, it’s a high stress job that wears me out, but I really do love it, and in some weird sense, I treasure it!)	Food, including my favorite coffee every morning, diet coke, desserts, steak…you get the idea

 

I think you get the idea.  “Treasures on earth” are the precious commodities that we own and would never decide to sell in a garage sale.  We can’t part with them.  They are the things that really have no eternal value or spiritual significance.  They are even things on our wish list (like seeing Michael Buble in concert or traveling to Austria to do the Sound of Music tour).  They are tangible; they are temporary; and according to Matthew, they are things that should not be stealing my affection. 

In truth, some of the things on the above list may crossover into the next category, too, depending on me and my attitude about them. 

Then I made a list of some “Treasures in Heaven” …if you’re like me, I think you’ll find this one is a bit more abstract, and it’s definitely not as easy.

 

Treasures in Heaven
Obedience to my heavenly Father – obedience when I don’t want to obey	Giving up my will for someone else to have their way, with a good attitude	Deeper relationship with my Heavenly Father, including Bible reading and prayer.
My Character/Reputation	Forgiveness, Godly Forgiveness	Giving freely
Sharing the love of God with people; going on mission trips.	Turning the other cheek when I’m hurt by another person.	My children, in relation to their spiritual wellbeing.
Investing myself in friendships, even when they aren’t reciprocated.	Leading people to Christ.	Consistency in my Christian walk.

 

Treasures in heaven are the spiritual things; the things that really matter.  As I prayed over my list, God showed me the primary element was obedience.  Every time I obey what God is asking me to do, treasures in heaven are stored, and literally everything on the list is a result of obedience.  If you made your own list, take a look and see if that’s the same for you. 

Another thing He showed me is that there is a distinct difference between “obedience” and “compliance.”  When God asks me to do the tough things, the things I have no desire to do, that just might be when some extra treasures in heaven are stored.  If He tells me to go on a mission trip, that’s a no brainer for me.  It’s something I love and desire to do at least once every year.  But let’s just say He tells me to go on a mission trip when I already have tickets to see Michael Buble in concert.  Am I still compliantly going to go on the mission trip?  Or am I obedient to go on the mission trip?  Or do I decide I can’t go, because of the conflict?  Good for me, I guess, God didn’t ask me to go on a mission trip when Michael Buble was in concert on August 3^rd in Austin, and according to Frank, good for our checking account, because tickets were too much money.  But the bottom line is that sometimes it’s easy to obey what God asks me to do because He often asks me to do things I already want to do.

Maybe you were a compliant child.  If you were, you probably won't relate to what I'm about to say. Although I wasn't a terrible teenager, I definitely wasn't compliant.  I had my share of arguments, insisting I was right, my parents were wrong, and no matter what, I would fight and insist for my way until I had laryngitis.  I wasn't so disrepectful to say my thoughts outloud, but in my head, I would have an ongoing soliloquy of everything that was wrong with my parents because they wouldn't “listen” to me and do what I wanted.  (Basically, I wanted them to conform themselves to my way!)  In truth, as a teenager, I just wanted to be heard.  If you're on the flip side, as a parent, you really do care.  But it’s because you love your child so much that (at least in my home) most of the time, no matter how much yelling, my initial decision stays the same.  The reality is that I love my kids too much to be one of those parents that caves to the pressures of parenting.  I am not willing to give up, no matter how hard it is.

And isn’t that the same about our heavenly Father?  He loves me so much that He keeps working on me.  He keeps asking me to yield my way to His.  Sometimes obedience is easy; sometimes it is not.  He knows best, and easy or hard, my job as a child of His is not to reply to Him with a soliloquy of all the reasons He is wrong and my way is better.  My job is to obey.  Trust and obey.

So as I thought about this passage in relation to both being a teenager and parenting one, when I can see that my child wants to do one thing but understands my way is best, when my child willingly gives up his/her own desires to yield to my way, well, that’s when treasures are stored in my momma-meter.  When my momma-meter starts to get full from the obedience being piled into it, then there are sure to be rewards for that exemplary behavior.

And spiritually speaking, I believe the Bible is pretty clear about God rewarding us for obedience, too. Some rewards are tangible, and some are spiritual, but throughout Scripture, it’s clear that God rewards obedience.  Here’s just a few verses, but I found many, many more in my search…

Hebrews 11:6  “And without faith, it is impossible to please God, for whoever draws near to God must believe that He exists and that He is a rewarder of those that diligently seek Him.”

Psalm 18: 19-24  “He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.  The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;  according to the cleanness of my hands He has rewarded me.  For I have kept the ways of the LORD; I have not done evil by turning from my God.   All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees. I have been blameless before him and have kept myself from sin.  The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.”

Hebrews 6:10  “For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown in His name in serving the saints…”

So now I come full circle with the deepest questions of this passage for me.  These are questions I've been praying over all week as I've read and re-read, asking God to show me the answers and conform me to His image.  Where are my rewards?  What am I stockpiling?  Am I surrendering my way to God’s way or am I practicing only compliant obedience?  And finally, where is the object of my daily affection?  Better yet, WHO is the object of my affection, moment by moment?

Although I didn't burst out in anger when I was informed of my broken bowl, if you could have seen the disappointment in my heart, you would know that God has some serious work to do on this cracked girl. Just like I won't give up on my children, I'm so thankful He doesn't give up on me, chips and all.

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

Salt or Salty?

“You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?  It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men."  Matthew 5:13  

 

 

Having 2 teenagers, I tend to learn a few old words that have taken on new meaning.  In fact, I even throw them into conversation from time to time to help me feel ‘hip and cool’ among today’s generation. (Word to the wise – it doesn’t really work…)  Anyway, one such term is “salty.” 

salty  adjective 
The internal attitude that develops when you find yourself a victim of unfair circumstance and feel like you were given the short end of the stick. 

Maybe you don’t get bitter; maybe you’re even able to work through the situation emotionally, but the moment the subject is brought up again, you’re right there on the salty bandwagon again.  Even discussing the situation stings...like salt in a wound.  When that happens, you’re described as being really salty.

Then there’s the other salty that we are all familiar with - as in salty food. 

salty  adjective 
Tasting of or containing salt; saline

Have you ever met someone who automatically adds salt or pepper to their food before they even taste it?  Maybe you're one of those people.  It's a given, the words “pass the salt” come from their mouth just after hearing the “amen” in the prayer…or maybe even before.  

Well, let’s just say that I tend to be both extremes with these two salty descriptions.  I don’t really get bitter when I’m dealt a hand in life that I think is unfair, but sometimes, no matter how much I try or pray for God to help me, I do get a bit salty about the situation.  Just when I think I’m emotionally healed, something happens, and the thick scab is ripped open with salt being poured into it.  Ouch!  It’s not a good feeling, to say the least.

On the other hand, when it comes to food, I am not one of those salty people.  In fact, although we do own a salt shaker, it usually stays up in the cupboard with the spices, only making an occasional appearance at the dinner table when we have company in need of some extra flavor.  I don’t know if that means I have a bland palate, am a content person, or if I just love to eat so much that I don’t appreciate good flavor.  I’ll let you make your own deductions.

Well, if you follow my blog at all, you’ll notice a huge void over the last year.  Massive time seems to span between posts.  I’ve never really been one to not have something to say.  Ever.  But over the last year, that is not the case at all.  I have countless blogs started, only to delete them and never complete them.  I had a lot of half-thoughts, but not too many complete God-thoughts that I felt compelled to share.  Why?  At times that has been my eternal question to God.  Why do I feel so useless?  Why can’t I even seem to write a paragraph about what You’re teaching me?  Why does this hurt so bad?  As I tried to find answers, the repeated answer I received was that God wanted me to pretty much shut my mouth for a period of time.  When I stop blabbering, then I am a better listener for His still, small voice.

Thankfully, I’ve never had to endure a hurricane, but I do know that when a hurricane is about to hit, you really have only two choices: 

1)  Run for safe cover with your valuables and family
2)  Hunker down and endure the storm

Let’s be honest.  Hunkering down is not easy.  I would much rather choose the option behind door #1.  But over the last year, that’s not what God told me to do. 

He said, “Stay put and endure the storm.” 
He said, “I am your shelter.”
He said, “I am your provider.”
He said, “I am the only friend you need.”
He said, “I am all you need.” 
He said, “It’s not going to be easy.  People will fail you, but I never will.”
He said, “Trust me.  I know what is best.”

So imagine me, huddled up in a ball, protecting my heart, trying not to be hurt by the storms of life, all while waiting on God to show me the next move.  Every so often I would peak out the cracked window hoping to see a shimmer of light, only to realize the waves are crashing in again and it’s not safe to come out.

I don’t know how better to describe it.  In truth, if you don’t have a relationship with the Lord, you may dismiss what I’m describing as just going through “a funk.”  But for me, it’s truly been a year (plus) long massive hurricane of emotions.  It’s been a period of God silencing me so He can work on the deepest part of me.

You may not understand what I’m trying to say.  You see, some people are artists.  They express themselves through painting, and it’s what they have to do.  Some people feel that way about cooking.  I wish I felt that way about cleaning (others in my family may wish that, too), but I don’t.  However, I’ve always felt that one of my biggest ministries over the last few years has been through this blog.  When it comes to sitting down and stringing together random thoughts and simple applications that help point people to a relationship with Jesus, well, that’s my happy place.  And when there are long intervals between spending quality time in your happy place, even if God tells you to hunker down, it’s a tough place to be emotionally.  It’s like an insatiable craving for something you can’t have, even though that object of your craving is right in front of you. 

On Sunday evening, the weariness of hunkering down all these months had just about gotten me.  I felt so empty inside.  Frank and I talked through the whole gamut of emotions I was feeling, then we did the only thing we knew to do – pray.  After we finished praying together, I silently cried myself to sleep begging God over and over to start using me again, to bring back joy, and to not put me on a shelf to collect dust.  (Side note – Philippians 1:6  “I am confident of this that He who started a work in you will complete it!”  I was just too weary to remember this promise when I cried myself to sleep in prayer!)

It’s amazing how a good night’s sleep and some sweet Holy Spirit peace can change your perspective.  Monday morning I began my normal routine and started to have my quiet time, and as I read, my heart started to go to its happy place.  The more I read, the more He showed me, and the more excited I became.  With a glance out the window, the sun was shining, and this time I didn’t sense any big waves right behind it.  The next morning, my experience was similar, except the excitement and burning in me was a little hotter, deeper.  I finally felt as though God was gently blowing the dust off me, promising me He wasn’t done with me yet.

This week I had started reading in the book of Matthew.  I have two pages of observations and applications of what God was showing me in just the first four chapters, and then I got to chapter five. 

Matthew 5:13  “You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?  It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.  You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

Did you catch that?  “If the salt loses its saltiness, it is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out.”

Good for nothing.  Thrown out.  Isn’t that the same thing as God putting me on a shelf?  My biggest prayer and concern was addressed right before my eyes.  But as I read it repeatedly, I noticed the conditional statement.  It says IF the salt loses its saltiness THEN it is no longer good for anything. 

I read the verse again.  Multiple times.  And as I did, I prayed over it, asking God to show me the truths He wanted me to see.  What He showed me was that I had allowed myself to become a salty person.  And when I’m even a little salty about things, it prevents me from effectively being the salt of the earth.  In essence, the more salty I am, the more I lose my spiritual saltiness and the more useless I become. 

When God would allow one of those salt-water hurricane sized waves to encompass me, it would rip open scabs that I thought had already healed.  Then the cyclical burning of the salt in my wounds would start all over again.  The end result was little by little, I was becoming a salty person. 

But as I read this passage, I realized God wasn’t bringing the waves to make me feel the pain again.  He was allowing them to engulf me so that He could heal the deepest part of me.  Can I say this big revelation from God has brought about 100% healing at the time of writing this blog?  No, of course not.  But I do believe that just being conscious of what He’s trying to teach me has helped me discern His will better.  It’s given me renewed joy, and it’s definitely allowed me to have peace about the situations in my life that He has allowed.

I don’t know if what I’ve written resonates with anyone else but me, but it really doesn’t matter, actually.  What matters to me is that I am confidently reassured that God is not done with me.  He will complete His work in me.  Have I arrived?  Of course not.  He has so much more work to do on this self-imposed salty girl.  But as I daily take up my cross and drop my will for His, as I allow Him to wash and clean my deeply set wounds, He will continue to infuse that spiritual salt in me.  He will transform me into the kind of salty girl He wants to use. 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

When MY desires become His...

Psalm 37:4  “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

 

During the first week of September, 1995, my husband and I went on a little vacation to the Smoky Mountains.  For me, this was going to be a vacation of new thinking.  A vacation of forgetting the past and being open to whatever God’s plans for me were.

You see, for 3+ years before that, I had been obsessed with becoming pregnant.  It’s all I longed for.  It’s what I prayed for.  It’s what consumed my thoughts.  It consumed me, actually, in a very unhealthy way.  I was even on fertility medicine, but nothing worked for me.  I probably should have invested stocks in Pregnancy Tests.

Through that period of time in my life, I just kept claiming the verse “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  God knew my desires were to be a mom, even though I was told early on I would never have children.  So over and over, month after month as I learned that I was not pregnant, I just kept quoting that verse.  Praying it.  Internalizing it.  Trying to understand God’s plan.  I had always learned that we should pray specifically, so I prayed repeatedly and very specifically that God would not only let me have a baby, but that the baby would be a girl, and that her name would be Amber.  I was a pastor’s wife, and I was delighting in the things of God, right?  Isn’t that what I was supposed to do to get the desires of my heart?  Well, not really.  As much as I would like to say that I was delighting in the Lord, I was actually delighting in the desires of MY heart, not in the things of the Lord. 

Just a few weeks before our vacation, as I sat down to read my Bible again, my eyes were opened to a new way of reading that verse.  I realized that it’s only when my desires are in line with God’s desires that I’m actually delighting in Him.  Then, and only then, will He give me the desires of my heart.  That night, I experienced a complete catharsis.  I wept uncontrollably, and I gave God all my desires.  I told Him that if He didn’t want me to be a mom, then I didn’t want that either.  And somehow, my heart’s desire really desired that – because it seemed that was what God wanted.  And I truly wanted to be in line with His will for my life.      

That night, I yielded all the desires I had held on to for so long.  I went off the fertility medicine, and I set my mind on new things.  A few weeks later, we were off to have a little vacation in the Smoky Mountains, just Frank and I.  We were having a great time, and for once, I wasn't obsessed with becoming pregnant. 

SideNote: Before getting married, I had this crazy dream of getting married and then jumping out of an airplane with my husband to start our life together.  However, that dream came to a screaming halt as Frank and I became engaged.  Under no circumstances was he going to do that.  It was him or the airplane, and thankfully, it was a close call, but I chose him.  :)

So while we were on vacation, I had the opportunity to go indoor SkyDiving.  If you’ve never done it before, you really must try it.  It gives you the feeling of SkyDiving without ever having to even jump out of a plane.  You go into this large cylinder shaped tower where there is a jet engine pointing upward, covered by a large industrial screen.  You go through a little training class on how to position your body to catch the air, sign your life away in waivers, put on an airsuit, and then float through the tunnel.  It was one of the most exhilarating things I had ever done to that point in my life.

The next day, we were planning on going to Dollywood.  For some reason, I had this crazy thought.  “I better check to make sure I’m not pregnant so I can ride the roller coasters.”  Why I didn’t think of that before I went SkyDiving, I don’t know, but alas, there I was in the hotel room, consumed once again with the thought.  But this time, it wasn’t a hopeful wish, it was a preventative check.  We went to the local drugstore, picked up a PT, and went back to the hotel.  Frank chilled out and fell asleep watching TV. 

If you know me at all, you know I don’t like to wait.  Patience is not something I’m good with.  I spied that pregnancy test, still in its package, and stared at it.  After all the failed tests previously, I knew it was best to wait until the first morning’s…well, you know.  But in true Beth fashion, I went ahead and decided to check.  Within only a minute, a faint positive appeared. 

“Frank!  FRANK!  FRANK!!!!”  I screamed.

I scared him to death, I am sure.  He thought I was dying.  In truth, I was.  My heart was pounding so fast that I didn’t even know if I could breathe.  Never had a test turned positive.  He tried to calm me down; he tried to keep me grounded.  He tried to remind me that false positives do happen.  But in my heart of hearts, I knew otherwise.  I knew I was pregnant.

The next morning, I wrote this letter to my parents…

 

9-6-95, 7 AM

Dear Grandma and Grandpa,

Mommy and daddy have waited a long time to tell you I’m coming to meet you.  They’ve been praying for me, too.  Now it looks like God answered their prayers.

I’m sure I’ll have brown hair, and maybe I’ll have blue eyes like you, Grandma.  Do you remember mommy had blue eyes when she was a baby?  Maybe I’ll have brown eyes like you, Grandpa…or maybe even hazel eyes like my mommy and daddy.

I hope I’m smart like my daddy and can sing like my mommy.  It would be nice if I’m a girl, but being a boy wouldn’t be so bad!  As long as I’m healthy…  Please pray for me and my mommy and daddy.  They are so excited!  I’ll see you next year some time.

I love you!

Baby Banfill

 

We found the closest post office, and we mailed the letter.  I was on cloud 9, to say the least, and I suddenly didn’t want to be on vacation any longer.  I wanted to get home.  To get to a doctor.  To get a blood test.  I wanted to tell everyone.  But first, I needed someone else to confirm what I believed to be true.

And true it was. 

We later learned we were indeed having a girl, and I was finally going to have my “Amber” that I had prayed so specifically for!  On May 20^th, 1996 at 8:19 PM, 18 years ago tonight, I was blessed with one of the most incredible gifts – the gift of an 8 lb. 14 oz. daughter.  

I know God had special plans for that little girl.  I knew it because I knew she was my miracle baby.  I knew it because God just works like that.  My little baby didn’t stay a baby very long.  She started talking at 7 months, and at 1 year, she was communicating in full sentences.  I really think by the time she reached junior high, she was an adult in a child’s body.  She thought like an adult, reasoned like an adult, and aside from a very rare outbreak of emotions, she acted like an adult.  When most parents were complaining about their rebellious teenaged mouthy daughters, all I could do was thank God for the one He had loaned me.

Where did the time go?  I literally blinked my eyes one time, and those 18 years slipped by.  I went to bed one night with a baby in diapers, and I woke up the next with an adult living upstairs.  It is beyond my scope of understanding how this happened.  But tonight, my baby girl officially said goodbye to childhood and hello to adulthood as she celebrated her 18^th birthday.

I think about the time when she was 2 ½ years old, standing on a piano bench at church, telling people how they can accept Jesus into their life, even though she herself had yet to even understand that decision for herself.   I think about the time when she was in Colombia with me as a 9 year old, sharing her love for God with 1500+ people in an outdoor stadium.  Or when she was asked to represent the USA at the International Festival of Talented Children in Asia.  God has opened up so many doors for this girl in the last 18 years and has granted her success that yields a pretty impressive resume, even by adult standards.

On a superficial level, some may look at Amber and judge her by her accomplishments, without trying to get to know who she really is on the inside.  If that is you, you wouldn’t be the first one to do that, so let me set the record straight.  Win or lose, first or last, this girl’s only real priority is to live for an Audience of One.  She longs to serve and give of herself to others for the cause of Christ.  She cares deeply about her friends and truly is one of the most humble people you could have a conversation with.  She isn’t a super-smart, naturally brilliant child protégé; in fact, she’s graduating 9^th in her class only due to her hard work ethic and discipline.  She exhibits what it means to have character in every sense of the word, making choices to put the Lord first, even if that isn’t the popular thing to do.  I could go on and on, and I’m sure by now you really wish I wouldn’t.  (And if Amber happens to read this, she would wish I hadn't even written this!)

Someone once told me, “You don’t deserve her.”  As mad as that comment made me and as much as it hurt, well, deep down I know that’s true.  I don’t deserve her.  I definitely gave my parents some serious grief and lip as a teenager!  But for whatever reason, God saw fit to loan me for the last 18 years this precious gift of a daughter.  

He saw fit to have her heart beat after His.  And He saw fit to set her apart to live for Him.

I go back to where I started, claiming that verse “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  Did he give me MY desires?  At face value, one may answer with a definitive “YES!”  But that’s not the real story.  I truly believe God gave us Amber because I came to a point that I relinquished my wills and desires to desiring only whatever His Master-Plan was for my life.  It was only when I truly sought Him wholeheartedly that my desires were in line with His desires.  It was when I delighted in the Lord, in what He wanted, not on what I wanted and dreamed for.

Do I deserve her?  No, I most definitely do not.  But especially tonight, on her 18th birthday, as I contemplate the incredible blessing she is to so many, I cannot thank my God enough for trusting me to parent this beautiful, Godly, newly officially an adult, Amber Kay.  

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

God IS a Verb...

He chose.  He guides.  Protects and resides.
He plans.  He gives.  Fulfills and He lives.
God is a verb.

He is.  He was.  Pursues and He does.
He gave. He restores.  Connects and much more.
God is a verb.

As I have spent time with the Lord over the last few weeks, there's been one recurring theme that I have noticed - God is a verb.  Of course, we all know that in English, God is a proper noun.  But as I dig deeper in my reading, all I seem to notice is how much God does.  He's a God of constant action; He embodies it, in everything I see. So for me, at least today as I write, God is a verb.

Back in "the day", English was my favorite subject in high school.  In fact, it was the only subject I felt like I really understood.  The two main kinds of verbs that I remember learning about were called LINKING verbs and ACTION verbs.  I'm pretty sure they've re-defined some of these verbs and maybe even made up new categories to teach kids these days, but those are the two kinds I remember, anyway.

Linking verbs were defined as verbs that didn't necessarily express direct action, but they connected the subject of the verb to some additional information.  The list I memorized encompassed words like IS, AM, WAS, WERE, ARE, BE, BEING, and BEEN.  So as I explored this whole "God is a verb" topic, I started to think about that list.  What does God say to Moses in Exodus 3:14? God says, "I AM WHO I AM...Tell them I AM has sent me to you."  Revelation 1:8 says "I AM the Alpha and Omega...who IS, who WAS, and who IS to come."  You know what I love most about these verses?  He loves me so much that He connects me to Him; He LINKS me!.  He cares about ever detail.  I have no need to ever worry, because HE IS. HE WAS. He always WILL BE.  

Psalm 46:1  "God IS our refuge and strength; He IS always ready to help in times of trouble!"
Psalm 23:1  "The Lord IS my shepherd..."

Revelation 1:8  "I AM the Alpha and Omega...who WAS and IS and IS to come!"

Then of course there are ACTION verbs, and this is what has really caught my eye in my reading.  God is constantly at work.  He's a God of action.  He isn't in heaven on a throne just judging my every move.  No.  He is at work in even the smallest detail.  

Here's a sampling of some of the ACTION God has shown me in my reading over the last few weeks:

Psalm 103  He FORGIVES my sins.  He HEALS my diseases.  He REDEEMS my life from the pit.  He CROWNS me with love and compassion.  He SATISFIES my desires with good things.  He RENEWS my youth.

Psalm 23  He IS my shepherd.  He LEADS beside still waters.  He RESTORES my soul.  He RENEWS my strength.  He's the GIVER of rest.  He GUIDES me along the right paths.  He PROTECTS and COMFORTS me.  He PREPARES a feast for me.  He PURSUES me.

Psalm 119:105  He GUIDES my feet.  He LIGHTS my path.

Proverbs 3:5-6  He SHOWS me the path to take.

Matthew 11:28 & Psalm 91:1  He GIVES rest!

Jeremiah 31:3  He LOVES me with an unfailing love.  He DRAWS me to Himself!

Ephesians 1:5 He ADOPTED me.

I could go on and on.  Read for yourself and make up your own list for a few days.  It's amazing how much my God can do for each of us, simultaneously, and never without letting one of us be forgotten.  He never drops the ball.  Why?  Because He IS.

From time to time, I watch some of those reality shows about survival.  I don't know a lot about surviving in the outdoors, but one thing I have picked up on is that you should never drink from a stagnant pool of water.  If I was stuck out in the wilderness looking for water, the safest water I could find is one where the water is moving.  From what I understand, this means that the bacteria is less likely to be present.  The point is, if God is a verb, then I should be as well.  I can't be stagnant.  Like a gentle moving stream or raging river, ever moving and flowing, I need to keep moving forward in my relationship with Jesus.  Digging deeper.  Reflecting Him more in my actions.  Serving others more.  Drawing closer to Him.  Never being satisfied with where I am, but always yearning for the stream to flow harder and faster, while washing out the impurities.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel like I'm in the middle of that fast moving water, holding for dear life on to my "floaties", hoping not to drown.  That's when Jesus says, "I WILL SHOW you the path to take."  "I WILL PROTECT you and COMFORT you."  "I WILL SATISFY you."  "I WILL GIVE you rest." And He does.  Every time.  And He lifts me up and keeps me moving forward.  Why?  Because God IS a verb. 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

 

 

The Day the Sun Stood Still...

"So the sun stood still, and the moon stopped until the nation avenged itself on its enemies,
as it is written in the Book of Jashar.  The sun stopped in the middle of the sky
and delayed going down about a full day.  There was no day like that before it or after it,
when the Lord listened to the voice of a man, for the Lord fought for Israel."  
Joshua 10:13-14

  

In our ABF class at church, we just finished up a study in Joshua.  One of the weeks, we studied Joshua's faith when he called out to the Lord to have the sun stand still.  Joshua knew God had promised Israel the victory, but he also knew that time was running out.  He called on God to make the sun stand still, and never before or ever since has God done that.  Until now...hypothetically speaking, anyway.

Last weekend, the Dallas/Ft Worth area of Texas was hit with a freak ice storm.  We didn't have a lot of snow, but we did have some severe ice.  Everywhere you looked, young and old trees were bending to the power and weight of the ice.  Trees fell across the metroplex causing massive power outages.

For some people, electricity was out for days.  School was closed not only on a Friday but also on a Monday.  In nearly 15 years of living in Texas, it was the longest stretch of bad weather that I can remember.

Nearly all events were cancelled for the weekend.  Our annual Ladies Christmas Brunch was re-scheduled for the next week.  My daughter's debate tournament was cancelled.  Yes, even church was completely cancelled on Sunday, due to the parking lot being a sheet of ice.  My completely overloaded calendar soon became quite empty.

Like you, we live a pretty busy life.  We schedule meetings; we volunteer at different events; we volunteer to host parties, and of course, then we have our normal commitments like church, school, kids functions, etc.  We coordinate our calendars probably better than we do our clothes, and we fill the calendars with more commitments than we ever should.  I love this busy lifestyle, but sometimes, all the commitments leave me as the clown who can't juggle.  I feel like I start dropping the ball, important balls like keeping the house clean and taking care of my family.  And pretty soon, I start dropping more, because I've added one too many things into said calendar.

When the ice storm hit and things started getting cancelled, I must be honest in saying that I wasn't thrilled.  I'm a yankee, you know.  Ice doesn't scare me.  I took driving classes in the blizzards of Northeast Ohio.  But most people in Texas raid the stores for milk, bread, and fruit with the threat of a winter storm, and truthfully, everything needed to be cancelled for their benefit.  No, the winter storms don't scare me, but those other native Texas drivers should be feared.

So I'm sure you're thinking, "Ok, so you had an ice storm.  Big deal.  We've all been through it.  What's your point and how does this equate to God making the sun stand still?"  Well, let me tell you.   

For me, this ice storm was one of the biggest blessings that could have happened.  It was as if God allowed the sun to stand still for me.  No, I didn't call out to Him in faith like Joshua asking for the sun to stand still.  In fact, a better description would be that I whispered in desperation for God to help me somehow get everything done.  And in His providential way, that's exactly what God did for me with the ice storm.  

I was able to do some much needed cleaning.  I was able to pick up all those balls that this clown had been dropping for weeks on end.  We were without power for almost 12 hours, but after it came back came on, we were able to get all the laundry in the entire house done.  Let me tell you, never before and probably never again will that happen.  I relaxed.  I hung out with my best friend (the hubz!) and then finally, we found the energy to put up the Christmas tree.  It was the first time in the history of the Banfill House that the entire family put the tree up together.  (Now I remember why we never did it together before, but that's another story.)  The daunting task of putting up the tree had been looming over me, and each time I planned to get it up, something more urgent replaced it. Truthfully, if we weren't hosting the Debate Team Christmas party in a few weeks, I had contemplated not even having a tree this year.  But now, it's up; it's simple, and it's beautiful.

 

I kind of hate to see the ice melt and things to get back to "normal", well, Banfill-normal at least.  The crystalized ice berries on my crepe myrtle trees were breathtaking.    

 

Did the sun really stand still in Texas in the middle of an ice storm?  I don't know about everyone else who experienced it, but for me, the answer is a very definite "Yes!"  Thank you, Lord, for Your providence to slow me down when I don't have the wisdom to do it myself!

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

What's in Your Bag?

This last weekend, our ladies ministry at church hosted a luncheon entitled "What's in Your Bag?"  It consisted of ladies bringing salads and lots of desserts, and a gently used purse for a purse exchange.  Ladies picked numbers from a box, and then about 1 out of every 5 ladies answered a random question about the contents of their purse.  It was a fun time of getting to know new people and attach some names to those that I'd never known personally.

After the purse exchange, I shared a devotional that God had layed on my heart.  Several ladies told me they couldn't come and wanted me to blog about the devotional, so here's what I shared, plus a little more.  

There's a lot of different kinds of bags.  You've got your over-the-shoulder bag.  Your clutch.  Your "dump" bag - you know the kind...big enough to dump everything you will need plus some extra "just in case".  We've got beach bags.  I personally have some bags under my eyes, and definitely, we can't forget the ever-hated saddlebags.

So as I prepared for the devotional, I thought, how can I relate this "bag" theme to our life?  I looked up the definition of a bag on dictionary.com.  This is what it said:  "A container or receptacle, capable of being closed at the mouth."

Hmmm.  Now that's an interesting definition, isn't it?  Especially when comparing it to our life!  At times, perhaps, my life could be considered a "bag."  (Depending on who you talk to!)  What about you?

But as I prayed more about God wanted me to share in relation to this theme, I felt He was asking me to dig a little deeper into this "bag of life" idea.  Down to the bottom of the bag.  You see, just like some of those purses that are weighted down with those big items that make your purse too heavy to carry around, sometimes we allow things into our life to do the same - weigh us down.  And when those things sink down to the bottom of our "bag of life", things you don't want to deal with or things that they're too painful to deal with, what are they called?  Baggage.  

Baggage is defined as "things that encumber one's freedom, progress, development, or adaptability."  In other words, "Baggage" is the things in your life that keep you from being all that God wants you to be.  And a lot of time, that baggage has its roots in anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, hurt feelings, and years of built up emotional pain. 

Bingo.  Finally, I knew this is what God really wanted me to focus on.  You see, probably like you, I have had plenty of experience with baggage in my life.  But about 24 years ago, I learned and started to put into practice nine words - words when joined together bring extreme power and healing, with God's help.

Let me back up.  I grew up the youngest of four children.  I had three older brothers, and yes, I was the baby in the family in every sense of the word.  I was pretty close to my middle brother, but I had a mouth on me, and I used it to try to destroy my other two brothers at every chance I could get.  They did the same to me, mind you.  It was a hate-hate relationship.  Like many siblings, we just simply didn't get along.  There were countless times when my brother and I would get in a screaming match, and we'd get sent to our rooms.  We'd yell across the hall in a whisper at each other and continue the fight, whenever possible.  When my mom decided we'd had enough punishment, she'd line us up and say, "Tell your brother you're sorry."  "Tell your sister you're sorry."  And we'd turn to each other, "Sorry." 

And that was that. 

The situation was swept under the rug until the next day, when it would start all over again.

But the truth is that with every fight, I would put that little boulder into my "bag of life" and despise my brother a little more.  And he did the same with me.

Fast forward to when my husband and I started dating.  With our first big fight, my temper raged, and my mouth started spewing the only way I knew how to deal with things - in anger.  Then he started to speak to me in a foreign language, and truthfully, although he's studied Greek, Hebrew, and Spanish, he didn't really know a foreign language.  But it was foreign to me, for sure.  He said to me these nine words:  "I'm sorry.  I was wrong.  Will you forgive me?"

I think that was the first time I'd ever heard those words strung together in that order, and I didn't really know what they meant, nor did I understand how to receive them.  I looked at him, spewed a little more, but then I could see he was waiting for a response from me.  Trying to end the awkward moment, I said, "Sure." 

The next fight we had, I had my ammo ready to start letting him have it for everything I could think of to attack him with.  It was one of those "shoot first and ask questions later" kind of deals.  But mid-way through my rant, he stopped me and said, "But I asked you to forgive me for that, and you said you did."

To stay I was stopped dead in my tracks is an understatment.  I knew I didn't have a leg to stand on, and I was going to lose that fight.  Also, for the first time in my life, aside from understanding God's forgiveness, my eyes were opened to what it means to really, truly forgive someone.  Personally forgive.

I was only about twenty years old, but even then, I already had a lot of heavy items in my bag of life.  But from that point on, I was determined to not add more, if I could help it.  Even in the last few years, God has started to remove some of those really heavy ones, placed there from years of unresolved issues with my brothers. 

This concept of forgiveness is really something foreign in today's society.  Think about it.  When was the last time someone asked you to forgive them?  And how awkward was it when it took place?  Sometimes I've asked people to forgive me, and their response to me was, "It's ok."  But what does an "it's ok" response do?  It validates the situation.  It allows the person to put the item back in their bag of life, with the possibility of it weighing them down in the future.

Now I have to be honest, here.  We are human.  In my twenty-two plus years of marriage, there have been plenty of times that we've had a big fight, and Frank has asked me to forgive him.  At times, I have been just so angry that I decide I can't do it.  Sometimes I've told him, "No."  Sometimes I've told him "Not  yet."  But it usually doesn't take too long for the Holy Spirit to convict me of my unforgiveness, and within a short period of time, with God's help, I've been able to make the choice to forgive.

Galatians 5:22-23 says the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance."  When we fill our life with all this baggage of unforgiveness, bitterness, unresolved anger and emotional pain for years and years, how much room in our life is there for these character qualities that God actually wants us to have?  Not much, really.  And on top of that, what happens to you when you add that "one more thing" into your bag of life?  You know the one, the "straw that broke the camel's back" incident.  Was it really the "straw" that made you get so mad and explode at that person?  No, it was all the other things in your bag of life building up, and it was the weight of that one light straw that put you over the edge.

On a side note, this concept is one of the most powerful things you can practice with your children.  There have been countless times I've been "pushed over the edge" and lost my temper with my children.  Stress at work, financial pressure, things I can't control, plus "one more thing" has resulted in me exploding and taking it all out on one or both of my kids.  But do you know how powerful it is to say to your son, "Jacob, I'm sorry for losing my temper with you.  It was wrong of me to do that.  Will you forgive me?"  Powerful is an understatement, really, and it models for your children the right way to deal with things, instead of sweeping them under the rug. 

Ephesians 4:32 says "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ sake has forgiven you."  If Jesus can save a mess of a life called Beth Banfill, then who am I to choose to not forgive someone else?

So, think about it.  Is there someone in your life that you've wronged and you need to go to and forgiveness?  Maybe its the other way around.  Maybe someone hurt your feelings and they don't even know it, but you're carrying around that emotional pain that is weighing you down.  What are you going to do about it?  Are you going to stew and just decide you don't want to deal with them anymore?  Avoid them?  Leave the church so you don't have to see them?  Or maybe your revenge plan is to unfriend them from facebook.

Life happens, and we are human.  We probably offend people every day without knowing it.  Sometimes people get offended just because they're really sensitive people.  But as Christians, we need to be sensitive to how we are perceived, and we need to be taking personal inventory of our emotions.  God wants us to deal with those things that weigh down our bag of life.  He doesn't want us to allow them to sink to the bottom and let them determine our future actions. 

Do you and God need to do some emotional healing and cleaning? Forgiveness is not easy, and just because we forgive, doesn't mean we forget.  But the bag of life can definitely not weigh us down so much when we practice Godly forgiveness.  

So I ask you, "What's in your bag?" 

 

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com