GodandMe2theMax

Elderly Observations

Today, I witnessed something special, but I almost missed it.

I was in my air conditioned car, waiting outside the eye doctor’s office for my mom to come out. She had texted that she was almost done, so I pulled right up in front of the stairs. Subconsciously, I noticed two elderly people exit the office. It took a few moments for my mind to catch up with my eyes and register what was happening.

Both individuals were slow-moving and walked with a cane. The Mrs. had quite a few bandages on her face, as if she had recently taken a tumble. The older gentleman was slowly trying to navigate his way down the stairs, as was the Mrs. Then he looked up to make sure his bride also was safely on her way down. Unfortunately, she was stuck way up at the top of the stairs, so he began to shuffle his way back up to help her. He reconnected with his wife and was trying to somehow assist her down the stairs without himself falling when my mind finally kicked into gear and registered what was happening in front of me.

While the site was a sweet one, it was clearly an accident waiting to happen. I jumped out of the car, telling them to let me help them out. The Mrs. clearly needed a steady strong arm to hold on to, and trust me, that wasn’t the Mr’s. arm, it was mine. Then I encouraged the Mr. to focus on getting himself back down the stairs and over to their car.

They were so thankful for my help, and really, I was embarrassed for not noticing the need sooner. Making small-talk as we very slowly (emphasis on the very slowly) walked to their car, I asked them how long they’d been married. With a smile, the Mrs. looked over to her Mr. for the answer, to which he replied, “69 years!” (I’m pretty sure she wasn’t sure of the exact number of years, but she was sure that her Knight in Shining Armour would know!)

69 YEARS! WOW!

I congratulated them both and said that it was an incredible accomplishment to make it to 69 years! I then said my husband and I have been married 31 years, but WOW - they had more than doubled our number of years being wed! As the gentleman opened the car door, I told him I would help his wife get in on the passenger side. He thanked me again as he started toward the drivers side.

But then he stopped. He didn’t just stop, he backtracked and almost politely pushed me out of the way so he could help his Mrs. get into the passenger’s seat of the car. I just slowly backed away. My job there was done, and the Mr. was clearly in charge and taking over.

The reason was very clear to me.

You see, while I was helping the sweet Mrs., I had noticed that she had completely soiled her clothes during the doctor’s visit. I felt bad for her, but of course I wasn’t going to say anything. I just wanted to make sure she got to her car safely without any tumbles.

But the Mr., well I believe he cut me off and took over getting the Mrs. into the car because he too saw the soiled clothing. It was clear to me that as best as he could, he was trying to protect her from any embarrassment.

I witnessed a rare sight today, friends. This man cherished his wife dearly. It was so evident in his every move and how he smiled at her, frail as they both were.

In reflection, it caused me to take time and thank God for my dear Mr. If by God's grace we make it to 69 years of marriage, I know it will be him helping me down the stairs, taking care of my needs before his own. It will be him trying to help me avoid any embarrassments caused by old age. (Hopefully it will not be the same kind of embarrassments, though!) It will be my Mr. cherishing me, much like I witnessed the Mr. and Mrs. today.

No, we aren’t even half way to the marriage milestone that this couple experienced. But today I thank God that I already know how it will be when we get older because my Mr. already actively loves and cherishes me each day. I realize that it very well could be me helping him after 69 years of marriage, but this one thing I know: if God allows, we will make it to 69 years of marriage bliss. Much like the sweet old Mr. and Mrs. that I observed today. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health.

Thank you, God!

"The Whidbey Island Covenant"

 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or pride,
but let us each put the needs of others over our own needs and desires.”
Philippians 2:3 

 

Over the last quarter of 2016, God was stirring in my heart the need to focus on my marriage.  Let it be known that we were not / are not struggling.  In fact, after almost 26 years, I would dare say we are just as strong and close as ever!  But with so many marriages turning into failed statistics, I had this burning desire to find ways to protect my marriage, to guard it, and to find ways to love and honor my husband in a deeper way.  I wanted desperately to take measures to ensure our marriage endures the test of time. 

You see, in 2017, we will officially become empty-nesters.  Amber will be graduating from college and likely moving to North Carolina.  Jacob will graduate from high school, move out, and start college.  It will be just the two of us around here, day in and day out.  I’ve heard that one of the highest divorce rates take place when the kids are raised and move out of the house.  The parents no longer find that they have anything in common, because the ‘kids’ were the common bond.  With us moving into that phase of life, I wanted to be sure that statistic didn’t hit our home.

So as my thoughts intensified about our marriage, I began to scheme about Frank’s Christmas gift.  Frank is a minimalizer.  He doesn’t like me to spend money on him, and he doesn’t even like to exchange cards.  But I knew just what to do for his Christmas gift... 

We spent Christmas on Whidbey Island with family, off the coast of Puget Sound in the state of Washington.  On Christmas morning, for whatever reason, the kids didn’t come down to breakfast with us at the hotel.  It was just the two of us, and it was the perfect time to share with him about my “gift” for him.  So I poured out my heart about wanting to focus on our marriage in the coming year, and together we made what we called “The Whidbey Island Covenant”:  to proclaim 2017 “The Year of our Marriage.”  I won’t go into all the details of that covenant, but one of them was to plan at least one event each quarter to focus on strengthening our marriage.  And we have just completed the first of those weekends!

Frank did tons of research to find an affordable and applicable “marriage retreat” for us.  When he was pastoring in Ohio, we used to teach an incredible course on Marriage Intimacy; in fact, we even led marriage retreats.  So we didn’t want to pay a lot of money to go hear someone speak on “marriage fluff”.  (By that, I mean principles that we already have in place and practice regularly,…“common knowledge” principles of marriage.)  Instead, we wanted to find something that would be “just what we needed”.  And that is exactly what he found!

Whether you think you need to re-focus your marriage or not, I strongly recommend you consider this exact thing.  It doesn’t have to be fancy.  We went to a local hotel, only because we were able to get a really great travel agent rate.  You can plan something like this without going anywhere.  (Quite honestly, I would have preferred my temperpedic over a lumpy hotel bed!)  We had dinner out on Friday and watched a movie.  Then on Saturday morning, we downloaded a series from Family Life called “I Still Do.”  It consisted of four 45 minute sessions by top-notch speakers.  The download was only about $20, and it even came with discussion questions for each section.  We mixed up the weekend with eating out, shopping, playing games, watching the videos & doing the discussion questions.  Overall, it was an incredible weekend of renewing our commitment to love each other for better or worse.  (I highly recommend this series from Family Life!  Just click on the I Still Do to learn more!)

I Corinthians 10:12 warns “Therefore, let anyone who thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall.”  You see, I’m not sharing this because I want everyone to know how strong my marriage is or how awesome my spouse is.  The moment we think our marriage is on solid ground is the moment the enemy attacks.  And the enemy, well he uses some pretty sneaky things to divide marriages.  He uses the lust of the eyes and the pride of life.  He uses our own children to divide us.  He finds ways to have us blame our spouses for anything and everything.  But the one thing I took away from the weekend, the one thing that is solidified even more in my mind is that marriages do not crumble when both spouses have a right relationship with God.  A right relationship with God not only means putting Him first, but it also means not having yourself as the top ranking officer.  Living a self-less life is not easy.  It’s a daily struggle and decision to place “him” (my spouse) as more of a priority than “me”.  It’s a daily choice to decide that I don’t have to be “right”; I don’t have to “win”, and I don’t have to have my way.

No, I don’t share this to brag in any way, shape, or form.  I share this because too often, I hear of friends who have separated.  Friends who are getting divorced.  Irreconcilable differences.  Affairs.  Pornography destroying marriages.  Secret lives.  One spouse left as the victim of the other pursuing their selfish desires.  It breaks my heart to hear of another marriage broken.

In the opening session from “I STILL DO”, Pastor Alistair Begg shared a story that is often repeated during the marriage counseling sessions he conducts.  It goes something like this:  One spouse is complaining about the other, saying she doesn’t do this anymore, and she does that, and I mean, just look at her! – …and she doesn’t support me, and …(insert your own gripe about your spouse.)

Then Pastor Begg will say, “So you’re telling me it’s worse?” 

To which the spouse replies, “YES!”  It’s worse!  So much worse!

And Pastor Begg, in his awesome Scottish accent simply says, “Well, isn’t that what you signed up for?  For better or worse?” 

(Insert time standing still while you chew on the reality of that comment!)

Regardless of your personal faith, I would venture to say if you are married or have been married in the past, you said your marriage vows in the presence of witnesses and before God.  We promised to stick with our spouse for better or worse. 

One day, it will turn “worse”.  It is inevitable.  We get older; we get plumper; we are just not as attractive as we once were.  Our spouse hurts us.  We have financial issues.  Our kids have special needs.  Life is just stinkin’ hard, and it’s easier to take the frustrations of life out on our spouse than it is to figure out a way to work through the problems.

But you know what?  Yes, there will be a day when “worse” will come.  But “better” can be just around the corner.  Just because it’s “worse” now doesn’t mean it will stay that way or progress further downhill.  We promised to love selflessly, through the good & bad; sickness & in health, as long as we are alive. 

I probably wrote down 50 different Bible verses this week for practical living in my marriage.  But the one that sticks with me…the one that I believe is really key to success in marriage is Philippians 2:3:  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or pride, but let us each put the needs of others over our own needs and desires.”  This weekend was such a good reminder of how easy it is to put myself first and how important it is to make sure that doesn't happen.

I close with this final thing…
A few years ago, after hearing of yet another casualty in our church, my friend Jennifer Davis & I wrote the song below.  May we never consider our marriages disposable, and may we always choose to fight for our family; selflessly; putting others before ourselves.

Verse One
One by one, they're falling apart.
Marriages ending.  Broken hearts.
They made it this long for the kids.
But they're all grown, so it's time to quit.
They promised to love through thick and thin
But somehow the outlook changed to grim.
It's over.  There's no love anymore.
Pack your bags.  There's the door.

Chorus
You've got to fight for your family.
Quit fighting for yourself.
Selfless living.  Be forgiving.
Don't you know true love is never ending?
It's time to take a stand.
And fight with all your might...for your family.

Verse Two
He picked up the phone but just couldn’t dial.
She sat there wishing they could talk for a while.
Regret sank in as time slipped by.
Was he too late?  Was it really goodbye?
He knew he’d been selfish.  It was time to admit
All the ways he’d hurt her before calling it quits.
“Can we meet tonight?” he cried on the phone
“God’s been working on me.  I want to come home.”

Tag
We live our lives throwing daggers and knives
Disposable husbands.  Disposable wives.
But imagine the changes that God will do
If others are considered better than you.

Chorus
You've got to fight for your family.
Quit fighting for yourself.
Selfless Living.  Be forgiving.
Don't you know true love is never ending?
It's time to take a stand.
And fight with all your might...for your family.

 

Pray with me, will you?  Pray for the families you know that are struggling?  Pray they won't give up?  Fight for them in your very own war room / prayer room.  If you are struggling, please tell me.  I want to pray for you.  Don't give up when it's "worse"...it can get better, but it takes two people putting God first to make it happen.  "Above all else, guard your heart, for it determines the course of your life."  Proverbs 4:23

 

 

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

What's in Your Bag?

This last weekend, our ladies ministry at church hosted a luncheon entitled "What's in Your Bag?"  It consisted of ladies bringing salads and lots of desserts, and a gently used purse for a purse exchange.  Ladies picked numbers from a box, and then about 1 out of every 5 ladies answered a random question about the contents of their purse.  It was a fun time of getting to know new people and attach some names to those that I'd never known personally.

After the purse exchange, I shared a devotional that God had layed on my heart.  Several ladies told me they couldn't come and wanted me to blog about the devotional, so here's what I shared, plus a little more.  

There's a lot of different kinds of bags.  You've got your over-the-shoulder bag.  Your clutch.  Your "dump" bag - you know the kind...big enough to dump everything you will need plus some extra "just in case".  We've got beach bags.  I personally have some bags under my eyes, and definitely, we can't forget the ever-hated saddlebags.

So as I prepared for the devotional, I thought, how can I relate this "bag" theme to our life?  I looked up the definition of a bag on dictionary.com.  This is what it said:  "A container or receptacle, capable of being closed at the mouth."

Hmmm.  Now that's an interesting definition, isn't it?  Especially when comparing it to our life!  At times, perhaps, my life could be considered a "bag."  (Depending on who you talk to!)  What about you?

But as I prayed more about God wanted me to share in relation to this theme, I felt He was asking me to dig a little deeper into this "bag of life" idea.  Down to the bottom of the bag.  You see, just like some of those purses that are weighted down with those big items that make your purse too heavy to carry around, sometimes we allow things into our life to do the same - weigh us down.  And when those things sink down to the bottom of our "bag of life", things you don't want to deal with or things that they're too painful to deal with, what are they called?  Baggage.  

Baggage is defined as "things that encumber one's freedom, progress, development, or adaptability."  In other words, "Baggage" is the things in your life that keep you from being all that God wants you to be.  And a lot of time, that baggage has its roots in anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, hurt feelings, and years of built up emotional pain. 

Bingo.  Finally, I knew this is what God really wanted me to focus on.  You see, probably like you, I have had plenty of experience with baggage in my life.  But about 24 years ago, I learned and started to put into practice nine words - words when joined together bring extreme power and healing, with God's help.

Let me back up.  I grew up the youngest of four children.  I had three older brothers, and yes, I was the baby in the family in every sense of the word.  I was pretty close to my middle brother, but I had a mouth on me, and I used it to try to destroy my other two brothers at every chance I could get.  They did the same to me, mind you.  It was a hate-hate relationship.  Like many siblings, we just simply didn't get along.  There were countless times when my brother and I would get in a screaming match, and we'd get sent to our rooms.  We'd yell across the hall in a whisper at each other and continue the fight, whenever possible.  When my mom decided we'd had enough punishment, she'd line us up and say, "Tell your brother you're sorry."  "Tell your sister you're sorry."  And we'd turn to each other, "Sorry." 

And that was that. 

The situation was swept under the rug until the next day, when it would start all over again.

But the truth is that with every fight, I would put that little boulder into my "bag of life" and despise my brother a little more.  And he did the same with me.

Fast forward to when my husband and I started dating.  With our first big fight, my temper raged, and my mouth started spewing the only way I knew how to deal with things - in anger.  Then he started to speak to me in a foreign language, and truthfully, although he's studied Greek, Hebrew, and Spanish, he didn't really know a foreign language.  But it was foreign to me, for sure.  He said to me these nine words:  "I'm sorry.  I was wrong.  Will you forgive me?"

I think that was the first time I'd ever heard those words strung together in that order, and I didn't really know what they meant, nor did I understand how to receive them.  I looked at him, spewed a little more, but then I could see he was waiting for a response from me.  Trying to end the awkward moment, I said, "Sure." 

The next fight we had, I had my ammo ready to start letting him have it for everything I could think of to attack him with.  It was one of those "shoot first and ask questions later" kind of deals.  But mid-way through my rant, he stopped me and said, "But I asked you to forgive me for that, and you said you did."

To stay I was stopped dead in my tracks is an understatment.  I knew I didn't have a leg to stand on, and I was going to lose that fight.  Also, for the first time in my life, aside from understanding God's forgiveness, my eyes were opened to what it means to really, truly forgive someone.  Personally forgive.

I was only about twenty years old, but even then, I already had a lot of heavy items in my bag of life.  But from that point on, I was determined to not add more, if I could help it.  Even in the last few years, God has started to remove some of those really heavy ones, placed there from years of unresolved issues with my brothers. 

This concept of forgiveness is really something foreign in today's society.  Think about it.  When was the last time someone asked you to forgive them?  And how awkward was it when it took place?  Sometimes I've asked people to forgive me, and their response to me was, "It's ok."  But what does an "it's ok" response do?  It validates the situation.  It allows the person to put the item back in their bag of life, with the possibility of it weighing them down in the future.

Now I have to be honest, here.  We are human.  In my twenty-two plus years of marriage, there have been plenty of times that we've had a big fight, and Frank has asked me to forgive him.  At times, I have been just so angry that I decide I can't do it.  Sometimes I've told him, "No."  Sometimes I've told him "Not  yet."  But it usually doesn't take too long for the Holy Spirit to convict me of my unforgiveness, and within a short period of time, with God's help, I've been able to make the choice to forgive.

Galatians 5:22-23 says the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance."  When we fill our life with all this baggage of unforgiveness, bitterness, unresolved anger and emotional pain for years and years, how much room in our life is there for these character qualities that God actually wants us to have?  Not much, really.  And on top of that, what happens to you when you add that "one more thing" into your bag of life?  You know the one, the "straw that broke the camel's back" incident.  Was it really the "straw" that made you get so mad and explode at that person?  No, it was all the other things in your bag of life building up, and it was the weight of that one light straw that put you over the edge.

On a side note, this concept is one of the most powerful things you can practice with your children.  There have been countless times I've been "pushed over the edge" and lost my temper with my children.  Stress at work, financial pressure, things I can't control, plus "one more thing" has resulted in me exploding and taking it all out on one or both of my kids.  But do you know how powerful it is to say to your son, "Jacob, I'm sorry for losing my temper with you.  It was wrong of me to do that.  Will you forgive me?"  Powerful is an understatement, really, and it models for your children the right way to deal with things, instead of sweeping them under the rug. 

Ephesians 4:32 says "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ sake has forgiven you."  If Jesus can save a mess of a life called Beth Banfill, then who am I to choose to not forgive someone else?

So, think about it.  Is there someone in your life that you've wronged and you need to go to and forgiveness?  Maybe its the other way around.  Maybe someone hurt your feelings and they don't even know it, but you're carrying around that emotional pain that is weighing you down.  What are you going to do about it?  Are you going to stew and just decide you don't want to deal with them anymore?  Avoid them?  Leave the church so you don't have to see them?  Or maybe your revenge plan is to unfriend them from facebook.

Life happens, and we are human.  We probably offend people every day without knowing it.  Sometimes people get offended just because they're really sensitive people.  But as Christians, we need to be sensitive to how we are perceived, and we need to be taking personal inventory of our emotions.  God wants us to deal with those things that weigh down our bag of life.  He doesn't want us to allow them to sink to the bottom and let them determine our future actions. 

Do you and God need to do some emotional healing and cleaning? Forgiveness is not easy, and just because we forgive, doesn't mean we forget.  But the bag of life can definitely not weigh us down so much when we practice Godly forgiveness.  

So I ask you, "What's in your bag?" 

 

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Why did I go to Zambia? To rescue one. Meet Ireen Phiri.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will comfort you and watch over you."  
Psalm 32:8

Word of warning: This blog is not for the faint at heart.  And if you don't think you can do what God might ask you to do, then maybe it's best you stop right here and not read on.  And another word of warning, try as I might to keep this concise, I have once again failed miserably.  However, this story is too important to leave out the details, too compelling to not articulate every word.  Read on at the risk of a broken heart for orphans.

In case you missed my last blog, I talked about how important it is for the children in Zambia to get an education, and I posted a video that paralels the lives of two girls growing up in Africa, one with an education and one without.  If you missed it, scroll down to the blog below to watch the short, powerful video.  It's an eye-opener, for sure.

I also mentioned how God is using the ministry we worked with in Zambia - Family Legacy Ministries International (www.familylegacy.com) - to radically change the ability for the orphan child to be educated in Zambia through their Father's Heart Program. If you're familiar with organizations like "Compassion International" or other "sponsor the child" programs, Family Legacy's "Father's Heart" program is similar in structure, but the schools that most of the chilren get to attend are Christian Schools (Lifeway Christian Academies), run by the ministry.  In fact, the ministry is now the largest private provider of education in the entire country of Zambia!  The children are not only getting a top-notch education at a low teacher-student ratio compared to government schools, but they are participating in a top-notched Christian discipleship program as well.  This includes Biblical lessons on relationships, Christian character, and life skills.  On top of all that, the children receive 1 meal a day at school, and with good attendance, extra "blessings" of food are given to the caregivers of the child at their home.  Yes, the Father's Heart Sponsorship program is comprehensive, and if you're interested, you can sponsor one of the girls still needing sponsored that Amber and I led during our week of CAMP LIFE.  Look for the link toward the bottom of this blog to learn more!

Since I returned from Zambia on July 14th, I have slept through the night only twice.  Jet lag?  No.  In fact, I really didn't even experience jet lag.  My first night home, and nearly every night thereafter, I stayed up later and was up in the morning before the rest of my family.  No, jet lag is not the problem. My "problem" is a girl named Ireen, who lives in the compound of Chainda.  The Lord has woken me up nearly every night telling me to pray for her.  I cannot sleep, and I cannot rest.  I've told some of you bits and pieces, but let me tell you Ireen's story, here and now.

On Tuesday afternoon of CAMP LIFE, I had already had my one-on-on "Blessing TIme" with Nephie and Catherine.  (See the previous blog if you missed Nephie and Catherine's stories!)  We had time for one more, and so Magdalene, my Zambian partner and translator, called over 12 year old Ireen to come sit and talk with us.  

Without even knowing her story or background, I could tell Ireen didn't have a good home life.  She was probably the dirtiest girl in my group.  She didn't smell, mind you, not one bit.  But her hair looked like it was braided months ago and then left untouched since, her skin was dehydrated, and her eyelashes were long and mangled together with dirt.  

I started the conversation with some simple questions.  How old are you?  Do you know your birthday? Who do you live with?  But I could tell the conversation that started very light had quickly turned very serious.  As Ireen spoke in Nyanga (the native language in Zambia) with Magdalene, tears flowed down her face.  I saw Magdalene take Ireen by the chin and look closely at her face.  Then Magdalene turned to me to tell me Ireen's story.

Ireen is a double orphan.  She has a little 4 year old brother Nicholas, and her mom died after her brother was born.  Ireen's dad then re-married, but after that, he passed away, too, leaving Ireen with her step-mom.  If you're familiar with the fairy tale Cinderella, well then you can likely guess some of Ireen's story.  But even Cinderella didn't experience or endure what Ireen is currently living.

You see, Ireen's step-mom has her own kids as well, just like Cinderella's step-mom.  So when there is food for the family, the food goes to the step-mom and Ireen's step-siblings, leaving Ireen and Nicholas to go hungry.  On most days, they go without food, getting only one meal every few days, at best.  And school?  Sure, the step-siblings get to go to school, but Ireen?  Well, she gets to stay at home and do chores all day.  

Yes, this story of no education and little food is all too common in the life of an African orphan child. Ireen's story is similar to untold others.  But there was one thing I noticed about Ireen the first time I met her.  You see, she had scars on her face.  I just assumed it was from an accident of some sort.  But on Tuesday, she had fresh wounds both on her cheek and up near her ear, both areas still red with blood.  Another part of her ear looked nearly infected.

During our "Blessing Time," Ireen told us that her step-sister had stolen some money from her step-mom.  Instead of punishing her own child, the step-mom took it out on Ireen.  She trapped her down on the ground and sliced up her face with the prongs of a fork.  As I heard this story and witnessed the wounds, I realized this was not the first time a simple kitchen fork had been used as a weapon on her sweet face.  The rest of the scars I had noticed earlier...those were not the result of an accident, as I had originally assumed.  No, they were intentional abuse.  Repeat abuse.

What do you say to a child who has experienced something like this?  It's hard enough to lose both your mom and dad at an early age, but to have to grow up being unloved is a whole other story.  As we tried to finish our "Blessing Time", and as I tried to learn as much as I could about Ireen's situation, I just silently prayed for God to give me words to say that will somehow comfort Ireen.  We finished our "Blessing Time" by praying over her, and somewhwere in the midst of the tears of our time together, I learned that like Catherine, Ireen had accepted Christ the day before during our "Small Group" time. Once again, the Lord nudged me, "Oh ye of little faith!"  

After we finished talking and praying, Magdalene and I clung to Ireen and walked her up to where the mobile nurse's station was located at CAMP LIFE, so she could get some medical attention for the wouunds that were dirty and at risk for infection.

  

Later in the week, on Thursday, Ireen let me take these pictures of her scars to document the situation.

As a mom, I cannot fathom how any person who calls themself a mother would hurt another child like this, but this one thing I did know: God sent me to Zambia for Ireen.  He has yet to show me what all that entails, but I know God had put Ireen in my care that week so she could be rescued.  Rescued to live a life free from abuse; rescued to have an education; rescued to know what it means to live freely in Christ Jesus, rescued to know that someone loves her.  

You see, not only does Family Legacy have the Father's Heart sponsorship program that I mentioned earlier, they also have something called "The Tree of LIfe Village."  Children who live at the "Tree of LIfe" are children, just like Ireen, who were in desperately terrible situations of abuse or neglect.  After an investigation is done by CPU (the government's Child Protection Unit), if a child is deemed to be in a situation of extreme neglect or abuse, then the government can place them in the full time care of Family Legacy, and eventually, they can go live at the Tree of Life Village.  But did you catch the "if" part of that?  The government has to deem it necessary (and there is a lot of corruption in the government), and for that to happen, a case must be filed, a $100 fee paid to start the investigation, and perhaps most importantly, a sponsor for Ireen's full time care at the Tree of LIfe Village must be found.

As I spoke to staff members at Family Legacy about Ireen's situation, it was apparent that the most important thing was to find a sponsor for Ireen, but as I learned, if CPU sees fit to remove her from the home, they will also remove her little brother Nicholas.  (That means double sponsorship would be needed, both for Ireen and Nicholas.)  To complete the paperwork and even start an abuse report, I also needed to commit to Ireen's sponsorhip myself or at least commit to sponsor her until I can find another sponsor.  

And that, my friends, is what left me immobile.  

Immobile because in spite of my heart's longing to sponsor Ireen and rescue her, I knew I could not sign a paper of financial commitment like that.  To sponsor a child at the Tree of Life, it's $250/month per child, plus the $100 fee required just for CPU to begin the investigation.  

Some have mentioned to me that they think that's a high amount, but in reality, it is not.  That covers all education needs, food, clothing, medical needs, counseling, and allows for the child to be raised in a loving and safe Christian home with 11 other children.  This is not an "orphanage."  This is not even a "house".  This is the opportunity to grow up in a Christian HOME where love abounds.  Many of the children at the Tree of Life Village are HIV positive and have other serious illneses.  With Family Legacy's sponsorship programs, only 6% is deemed as "overhead" compared to some ministries and sponsorship programs that are 20% or even higher.  $3000/year is a small price to pay to rescue a child like Ireen, don't you think?

But for me, knowing our family's current financial situation, knowing that we are actively raising money just to not go in the hole each month, that $250/month might as well have been $300,000. 

I texted my husband about Ireen.  "What should I do about filling out this report?  I know we can't commit to the Tree of Life Sponsorship, but what can we do?"  I asked him.  He just responded, "We need to pray about it."  Then he quickly reminded me that I shouldn't make decisions in the heat of emotions.  Yes, I knew that, but he didn't quite understand the urgency of the situation, or so I thought. Honestly, I got more than a little ticked at him that Tuesday night.  But the truth is, there wasn't a whole lot that we could do at that point, except to pray and ask God for wisdom.  

As we texted back and forth, he reminded me to pray that Ireen's step-mom would come to know the Lord.  He said, "That's the answer. Then all Ireen will need is the Father's Heart sponsorship, and if her step-mom gets saved and changes, she won't need removed from the home."  We began to pray for that to come true; I knew God could do it, and I started to get excited about the change that might be coming for Ireen.  You see, on Thursday of CAMP LIFE, I would get to go into the compound of Chainda, and "my girls" would be able to share the Gospel with people in their own community and with their own family members.  I began to pray that we would have the opportunity to visit Ireen's home.  In my mind, I tried to picture her and role play what a conversation might look like.  I thought of a few ungodly things to say to her, too, but hey, this was just role play, not real life!  I figured I better get those thoughts out before they actually came out of my big mouth, unchecked!)  I posted the situation on facebook, and many people around the country began praying for her step-mom's salvation.

I cried myself to sleep Tuesday night, although I'm not sure you could call what I experienced "sleep."  I cried for Ireen.  For the pain she's had to go through.  For her safety.  And I cried for help from God. Help to know what to do.  To know how to handle the situation. And for God to somehow save Ireen's step-mom or provide a way for Ireen and her little brother to go live at the Tree of Life Village, if that was His will for her and Nicholas.  The one verse God kept bringing to my mind over and over was one I memorized a few years ago.  It has two parts to it, and I started claiming the first part for me and the 2nd part for Ireen:  "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will comfort you and watch over you."

As I prayed about what to do, God just kept telling me to trust Him.  I wasn't sure that He wanted me to fill out that abuse form at that point, mainly because I wasn't sure what He was telling me to do about the obligation for financial commitment.  But God just kept telling me this one thing:  that "He will instruct me and teach me in the way I should go."  And as I prayed for Ireen's safety, He assured me that "He would comfort her and watch over her."  

Wednesday of CAMP LIFE came, and I could hardly wait to see Ireen.  "Are you safe?" I said.  She shook her head and answered in English "Yes,"  Then I hugged her and with tears in my eyes told her I loved her.  Somehow between Monday and Wednesday, this dirty little girl with mangled eyelashes became one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen.  She didn't have a bath, and nothing in her physical manner changed at all.  Nothing.  In fact, I'm not even sure she changed her clothes.  But I had changed.  God had changed me.  He allowed me to love her the way He loves her, just like "Uncle Greer" asked us to pray at the beginning of the week.

I tried not to show favoritism with Ireen.  I held hands as I walked throughout the day with the others, too.  (That's what you do over there in Zambia, you know.  You just walk hand-in-hand because you love each other.  Even the adults do it!)  But I must be honest, I slipped Ireen my apple every day, so she could take it home to feed her little brother. Truth be told, I saw some of the other girls doing the same thing.  They seemed to understand how bad the situation was for Ireen, much worse than even their own orphaned stories.

By the time Thursday arrived, I could hardly wait to get to Chainda to talk with Ireen's step-mom.  But that divine appointment was not going to happen.  It turned out that Ireen lived on the far outskirts of the compound, and we weren't able to go to her home to share the Gospel.  My heart sunk.  "What now, God?  What am I supposed to do?  I can't sign that form to say I'm responsible for her sponsorship, and I can't NOT sign that form, because she needs to be protected - she's a child of Yours!"  

And He told me, "I'll instruct you and teach you in the way you should go."

  

This picture was taken on Thursday after the girls had shared the Gospel throughout their community of Chainda.

I took the abuse report back to the hotel Thursday night and prayed over it again.  God had told me that He would show me what to do, and He was faithful, as usual.  That night, I talked to the staff at Family Legacy and told them again about Ireen's situation.  I told them again that signing the form to commit to her sponsorship at the Tree of Life was just not an option for me and our family, but I would commit to finding a sponsor for her, should CPU allow her to be placed at the Tree of Life.  

"I will find a sponsor for her.  I have to."

Family Legacy agreed to let me turn in the form, based on my word to find a sponsor.  This is outside of the norm, but I know it was God-ordained.  Let me step up on my soapbox for one moment, please. One person told me they thought this was a bit manipulative of the ministry, not accepting the abuse report without someone signing up for the sponsorship.  After all, it's all about the children, not the money, right?  I want to set that straight, in case you are thinking the same thing.  There must be sponsorship guidelines in place for those who will go to live at the Tree of Life Village, because the needs of so many children are great. There are a whole lot more chidren who need rescued then spots available at the Tree of Life.  The primary way they can determine which children will be rescued is by sponsorship. There are some children who live at the Tree of Life Village currently who have lost their sponsorship (more on that in a later blog), and there are some children that the government has just "given" Family Legacy and told them to "take."  Sponsorship for these precious children is vital to their care, and if they took "everyone" they wouldn't be able to so superbly care for and minister to them all.  It would be more of an orphanage-type situation vs. a home.  So if you are a nay-sayer, please believe me when I say that $250/month for this full-time care is not an exorbitant amount and requesting the commitment to sponsor them is not a manipulative practice.  It's the most pratical approach, and it is working.  I saw it first hand, and I saw the kind of care and the joy experienced by these children who reside at the Tree of Life Village.  (Stepping down from my soapbox now.)

I had heard some of the others who had attended CAMP LIFE previously talk about what happens to the children once the CPU starts to investigate.  Some of them suffer even more abuse as a punishment for a report being filed.  I completed the form, but before I turned it in to the CPU agent who was at CAMP LIFE on Friday, I felt compelled to talk to Ireen about the consequences that may be endured for me filing the report.  She understood the "what ifs" and she agreed to my turning in the report.  That afternoon, truly in the last hours of CAMP LIFE, the CPU agent met with Ireen to start to document her situation.

By Friday, we were a very tight little group, and the girls were watching out for each other.  On their own, the girls had a time of prayer over Ireen.  My littlest girl, Memory, prayed that her step-mom would feed her, even if it's okra.  (Apparently okra is the "liver and onions" meal of Zambian children. They all told me they hate it with a passion!)  With that prayer, all the girls burst into laughter to the point of tears. We could always count on Memory for a laugh, that's for sure.

No longer did these girls hang their head in shame, thinking they were "no good, dirty and deserted orphans."  No.  By the end of the week, they had named themselves "Girls of Grace."  And I could see the change that God had done in each of their lives, but especially with Ireen.  In the midst of her situation at home, God had given her a peace and joy that is unexplainable unless you compare the pictures of her from the beginning of the week to the end.  She doesn't even look like the same girl, really.

These pictures were taken on Friday, the last day of CAMP LIFE.  Nehemiah 8:10 - The joy of the Lord is her strength!
Special thanks to my boss, Tim Childs at Raptim Travel, who sponsored this blanket for Ireen.  I have prayed more times than I can count that it will keep her and her brother warm, and her mom will not steal it from her. 

As I continued to text with my husband about the urgency of the situation, I asked him if I could leave $250 with the ministry to get things started for Ireen.  I felt like it was "ernest money", to show my commitment to help her and to help find a sponsor.  I had almost that exact amount of cash, and in my heart of hearts, I believed it needed to stay in Zambia and not go back to the USA with me.  He agreed, and I handed it over to Andrew Knight, who is the "man on the ground extraordinairre" in charge of sponsorship programs at Family Legacy.  The first $100 of the money was to be put toward opening the case with CPU, and the last $150 was to be determined, based on the results of the investigation.  If CPU would see fit to place her in the care of Family Legacy, then the remaining $150 would be put toward her first month of sponsorship at the Tree of Life.  But if CPU determined she was not able to be placed at the Tree of Life, then the remaining $150 could be put toward her Father's Heart sponsorship and enrollment fees for her education.  

So, where do I go from here?  Well, I don't know, exactly.  I'm still waiting on the outcome of the investigation.  In my heart of hearts, I believe CPU will decide to remove Ireen and her little brother Nicholas from the home.  However, the step-mom can fight that.  Then if there are any other family members around, they can claim "rights" to the children, and there can be a lengthy legal battle.  I hope I know something within a few weeks or sooner.

What I do know is that God sent me to Zambia to help Ireen.  I believe God won't let me sleep at night because I've not fulfilled my obligation to find sponsorship for her and her little brother.  If the CPU determines that she must stay living where she is, then I will commit to her Father's Heart sponsorship personally, so she can go back to school.  But if the CPU gives the go-ahead for her to be placed at the Tree of Life Village, then I wil not rest, I cannot rest, until every penny of her sponsorship (and Nicholas', too) is accounted for.  

This is a video of the children who currently reside at The Tree of Life Village.  Since it's hard to understand their English, here's what they sing:  "I'm 6 years old, and I'm still growing UP! I need wisdom and I need knowledge. The only choice is a better place. Tree of Life! Tree of Life! A blessing to the nat...ions. Tree of Life! Tree of Life! A blessing to the nations! The 2nd solo repeats the same words, then the whole group sings: "We are a blessing to the nations. We are happy at Tree of Life! We go to school and are still growing UP. I need wisdom, and I need knowledge. Tree of Life! Tree of Life! A blessing to the nations. Tree of Life! Tree of Life! A blessing to the nations!"

 

Yes, Amber and I each led a 10-girl group while in Lusaka.  Of those 20 girls, 5 of my girls and 6 of Amber's still need sponsored for their education and 1 meal a day through the Father's Heart program.

Our girls and the status of their sponsorship can be found at the links below:
https://web.familylegacy.com/give/ambassadors/6791 (Beth's girls)
https://web.familylegacy.com/give/ambassadors/6795 (Amber's girls)

But it's the sponsorship for Ireen that is the most heavy on my heart.  It's Ireen that God wakes me up at night to pray for.  It's Ireen who is suffering ongoing abuse, scars physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Out of our group of 20 girls, only Ireen is in a terrible situation of abuse and neglect.  I do believe she will be placed at the Tree of LIfe, and so I must plead with you to join me in the monthly sponsorship for her and Nicholas.

The other 10 that stil need sponsored would be through the Father's Heart program, and in God's eyes, they are just as important as Ireen.  The price of sponsorship varies in this program, depending on the age of the child, due to the mandated testing requirements of the government.  For children in grades 1-6, there is a 1-time $95 enrollment fee for school and then a $44/month commitment.  For children in grades 7-12, the sponsorship changes to $66/month and a $190/enrollment fee.  

Will you take some time to personally pray Psalm 32:8 in regards to sponsoring one of these girls?  Ask God to "instruct you and teach you the way you should go" and please, as a favor to me, will you ask God to "watch over Ireen and Nicholas and comfort them."  

He is faithful, and I know He will instruct you to make the right decision, and I know He is going to watch over Ireen and Nicholas until we can get them safely placed and sponsored at the Tree of Life Village.  No, I can't rescue them all, but I don't have to.  God sent me to Zambia to rescue one.  And her name is Ireen.

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

 

 

Sprained ankles...

"You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn."
Psalm 18:36

 

I came aross this verse the other day when I was looking for another one, and it caught my attention.  I've read through the Bible a couple of times in my life, and I just don't ever remember reading this before.  How cool is it that the Bible talks about sprained ankles?  So I've been pondering as of late exactly what this means. 

In my younger years, I used to be athletic.  I played volleyball and softball, with softball being my specialty.  I'm getting old now - today I turn 43 - so I can't really say I'm athletic anymore.  No, in fact, I have a little "arthur" and "itis" and body parts just don't move like they used to.  But I do remember preparing for a game.  In fact, every game, without exception, my coach always had us stretch, stretch, stretch, so that we wouldn't pull a muscle or turn an ankle. 

I think about that this morning, as I read this verse.  You see, God doesn't promise us the tough "games of life" aren't going to come.  In fact, He is constantly stretching us to grow in Him, strengthening and conditioning us along the way.  But you know what He does promise?  He promises to give us a sure path.  Look at the verse, "You broaden the path beneath me..."  But the path that He broadens is the one that He has planned for us.  It's God's home court, not the "away team."  The path is in Him. 

There's nothing we will encounter that will turn our ankles, if we stay on His path for us.  Sure, we will face challenges; we will grow, we will be conditioned as Christians, and sometimes that means some pain.  (Not that I speak from recent experience of exercise, mind you...)  But I do know this to be true: we aren't isolated from trials, just because we're Christians.  But I love this promise that God makes our path broader, so we don't have any sprained ankles along the way.

For me, this is just a reminder that I need to continue like it says in Philippians 2:12 to "...work out my salvation..."  Because just like my softball coach said, when I work out, when I stretch, I won't have my ankles turn beneath me.  More importantly, my Spiritual Coach, Jesus Christ, tells me He makes my path broad beneath me.  He preps the way for me, so those ankles don't turn!  What a great way to start the day pondering how much my God loves me and prepares my every step!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

When we know what we need, we'll know when we have enough.

When we know what we need, we'll know when we have enough.

I went to visit with a client a few weeks ago, and I had the privilege of sitting in on their staff chapel while I was there. The president's wife was sharing a devotional, and she said these words. "When we know what we need, we'll know when we have enough." When you think about it, those words are pretty profound, really.

This Christmas, like so many other families I know, we've had to come face-to-face with identifying needs and wants. Between extra medical bills this year, lack of income for the ministry, and one of Frank's clients having a large unpaid balance on an invoice, we've been faced with tough choices. Praise God that at the end of the day, all our bills have been paid, without one of them being late. But we can't take the credit for that, this is truly due to God's miraculous intervention on numerous times!

I'm so thankful that my children are not materialistic. They don't have long Christmas wish lists. Last year, Amber asked for one thing - the Indiana Jones trilogy. This year, just one thing again - a lock for her door. And Jacob, well, he just had his birthday party, so he doesn't have much on his list, either. A few months ago, I told my husband, "For Christmas, I would really like a pair of cowboy boots." He quickly replied, "I don't think that's going to happen. You don't really need cowboy boots." I really couldn't argue with him, knowing our financial situation; I knew he was right. But in my mind, I definitely thought "Doesn't every girl who lives in Texas need a good pair of cowboy boots?" :)

Philippians 4:19 says, "My God shall supply ALL your needs, according to His riches in glory..." So this morning as I contemplate those words my client said, what do we really need? Let me draw the circle around myself. What do I really need?

There's an old Gaither song that goes something like this: "Loving God. Loving each other. Making music with my friends..." It kind of answers the question. Sure, besides the obvious, we "need" food to sustain us (some of us less than others!) We "need" warmth and shelter to make it in the cold night. But what do I really need? No, it's not a pair of Cowboy boots. And to be honest, the list is not very long and can be simply put, God, family, and friends. But in reality, He could choose to take away even the family and friends part of the equation...leaving the one true need - HIM.

This last week I was humbled beyond imagine as I was leaving my worship team practice. As I was walking off the platform, my worship pastor stopped me and handed me a small red bag with a greeting and a hug, "We want you and your family to have a Merry Christmas." It was from the rest of the team.

I was floored and speechless, and I must be honest, I'm a much better "giver" than "receiver". "This can't be happening," I thought. "No, I'm the one who usually gives. Why did they do this?" I made a mad dash out of my church and cried all the way home, even before opening the card inside. I knew what was in it, and I knew the love and sacrifice behind it. I got home and opened it with my family and found a wad of cash and a beautiful ornament. I've wrestled with that "receiving" over and over. God knew our needs as a family, and He met them. But the giver in me said, "Isn't there someone else who needs this more than us?"

Either way, God's promise in Philippians was fulfilled once again, in a miraculous way, He met our needs. He doesn't promise to meet our wants...but in reality, He even does that so often!

Matthew 22:37-38 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

This holiday season, with today's cares and tomorrow's concerns, I remember God's wonders and faithfulness of the past. He sustains. Always. I'm figuring out the difference between my wants and my needs so I know when I have enough. But one thing I know, I never can have enough of God. The more I understand Him, the more I realize how much deeper into this relationship I need to go.

 

--Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

I've got this...

Psalm 42:8  "By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is with me -- a prayer to the God of my life."

OK, I don't know about you, but I've had a really rough and emotional week.  I'm not going to lie.  When you have a sick child with a yet undiagnosed illness, choosing joy in the rough times is easier said than done.  I've tried my best to be consistent in my quiet time, and let me tell you, I love how God works.  He always seems to direct my eyes to just what I need to see in His Word. 

The verse I chose to memorize for this week is one that was especially meaningful to me the last few days.  I've been reading through Psalms and Proverbs this month, and I actually read it a few weeks ago.  When I did, I highlighted it in my Bible, and kept on reading.  You see, that's the cool thing about God.  He reveals Himself to us through His written word, and God has a way of directing us to just what we need to read to hear His voice on just the day we need to hear it.  For some reason last week when I sat down to read, I felt God was directing me to go back and review some of the things I had highlighted in earlier days in the month.

Read Psalm 42.  In it, the psalmist talks about thirsting for God, being down in the dumps, choosing joy and trusting God.  It's the famous passage where the author says, "Why are you so sad?  Put your trust in God!"  But I love how God works.  This time, it wasn't that well known verse that stuck out to me; however, He did use another verse in this chapter to really encourage me. 

Take a look at verse eight.  "By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is with me -- a prayer to the God of my life."  During the day time, when I'm awake, God tells me, "I love you.  Don't worry, I've got this."  And at night, He holds me tightly, sings me a lullaby and rocks me to sleep.  That's the visual image I have with the second part of this verse.  At night, when all is quiet and my mind easily wanders into the different scenarios and plays the "what if" game, God my Father, my daddy, holds me so tightly that His love erases all other emotions.  His love is with me during the day, and His song is with me at night.  He's got this.  When I'm awake.  When I'm asleep.  My God who never slumbers has this under control, and even though I feel so helpless, it doesn't matter.  All I need to do is trust Him.  This verse gives me such peace!

Then I love the end of the verse.  "A prayer to the God of my life."  I've sat here and tried to find words to express how I feel when I read that phrase.  I usually don't have trouble expressing myself (as you well know) but the only thing I can think of is that I feel comforted - the kind of comfort that comes when a needed hug is received.  No, not a little hug, I'm talking about a big bear hug that squeezes away all fear and pain, leaving only tears of joy.  If I can say those words with honesty, that God is the God of my entire life, then I have to believe when He says, "I've got this" that He does.  For me, that's the kind of hug that I needed this week. 

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

What Not to Wear, Spiritual Lessons in Clothing from Colossians

Colossians 3:12  "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."

It's the new year, and that means most of us are trying to figure out what changes need to be made in our lives for 2011.  Colossians 3:12, the verse to memorize for this week, is a perfect resolution for the New Year.  I heard someone say earlier this week that instead of focusing on the physical things you want to change in your life like your weight, you need to ask God what qualities you possess that are not consistent with His character.  Those are the areas that should be your focus of change for the New Year.   

With the advent of the tv show "What Not to Wear" on TLC, my teenager Amber is my personal fashion expert.  She watches every episode and gives me much needed fashion advice.  I usually will not walk out the door without her giving me a thumbs up.  In fact, it's not uncommon for me to change clothes numerous times until I get that nod of approval.  You see, I'm not really good at fashion.  I like it, and I love to shop, but putting it all together is a bit harder for me. 

Do you have any old items of clothing that you are emotionally attached to?  I used to have this pair of overalls.  They were too big for me, and I looked terrible in them, but I didn't care.  I loved them.  They were comfortable and unrestraining.  The last day I wore those favorite overalls was the day I met with a professional at my son's school.  Never in my life had someone talked to me like I was an uneducated and truly stupid person like that professional did.  I was so frustrated with how I had been treated, and as I tried to figure it out, I came to the conclusion that I was judged by my clothing.  Never again would I let that happen, so in the garbage the overalls went.

In Colossians chapter three, Paul talks about spiritual clothing.  Paul had style, in a spiritual sense, and he shares those spiritual "fashion" do's and don'ts with us.  Take some time to read Colossians 3, especially verses 7-17.  In this passage Paul says, don't wear the clothes that you used to wear, the sinful clothes of anger, rage, lying, etc.  He says, put those things away. 

You see, sometimes sin is like my old overalls.  It's comfortable.  It's unrestrained.  And although I know it doesn't look good, I don't care, because to be perfectly honest, it feels really good.  But, the truth is that I need to throw those old sinful 'clothes' in the garbage.  How do I do it?  Prayer.  Soul-searching.  Confession.  Commitment.  And only with God's help.

I think it's pretty awesome that God gives us a choice to get rid of our old clothes, and then He shows us a brand new wardrobe to put on.  This isn't a wardrobe from Goodwill.  It's a high-end spiritual fashion set of clothes.  It's the clothes you would see on the runway of heaven.  Paul says that we should clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love.  Most of these are the fruits of the Spirit, found in Galatians 5:22-23.  These clothes we should wear are all character qualities of Christ.  Think about it.  If you were given a jacket or article of clothing from your most revered person, would you not cling to it, smell it, hug it, sleep with it, and even live in it?  Why do we not do the same thing with Christ and the clothing He offers?

Then Paul closes the section with answering "how" we get this new wardrobe.  By letting the peace of Christ rule in our hearts.  By letting His Word dwell in me.  Doing everything in the name of Jesus.  And giving thanks to God.  I can get this new wardrobe and it doesn't cost me a financial cent!  Being the bargain shopper I am, that's my kind of wardrobe.  But, it does cost me myself, my commitment to Christ, my yielding to His way instead of mine...it costs giving up my wants and wishes for His will.  God's fashion must be my priority, not my own desire to wear sloppy, comfortable overalls.

Perhaps like me, you've read these verses hundreds of times.  Perhaps like me, you're starting the new year with good intentions and new resolutions.  Let's all make a new resolution to have a "What Not to Wear" experiment in fashion - God's way.  Let's start with memorizing the verse this week and internalizing it in our lives.  Whether you're a girl who loves to shop or a guy who hates it, I think you can relate to the wardrobe God wants us to be clothed in.  Shopping anyone?

 

 ---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Longing for Presents or Longing for His presence?

Isaiah 30:18  "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you: He rises to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for Him." (NIV)

"Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, and therefore, He waits on high to have compassion on you.  For the Lord is a God of justice.  How blessed are all those that long for Him. (NAS)

Are you longing for Christmas?  Are the kids in your family and those you know longing for that day they can open presents?  How about you?  Have you ever longed for something?  I mean, really wanted something so badly that you could hardly stand it? 

My first baby was supposed to arrive before Mother's Day in 1996, but she was three weeks late, and God had other plans.  This was my miracle baby that I had prayed and prayed for.  She should have been here by Mother's Day, at least that's what I thought.  I longed to have and hold my little baby girl.

I can think most recently to just a few weeks ago.  My husband went to Tanzania for two weeks.  Things were crazy at work for me, and those were perhaps the longest two weeks of my life.  We have two kids in two different schools that start and end at two different times.  Those were two rough weeks for me, and I was counting the minutes for him to land and make it home.  Yes, I longed for his return.

With the Christmas season upon us, what about the characters in the Christmas story?  Think about Mary.  Can you imagine how she longed to hold baby Jesus, this child she carried for nine months, this promised One from God?  As much as I longed to hold my new baby, I can only imagine what Mary felt like!  And what about the shepherds?  I think Luke 2:16 says it all, "They came with haste and found Mary, Joseph, and the babe, lying in the manger."  Yep, I dare say each of them knew what it meant to have a longing in their hearts.

Now that you've conjured up those longing feelings, let's look back to the verse.  The Lord longs to be gracious to you.  Imagine that.  God desperately wants to be gracious...to me!  I read this verse in my quiet time last week and was astounded by it.  I just sat there and read and re-read, pondering every word.  I mean, how amazing is it that God in heaven longs to do good things for me?  And how awesome is it that God blesses us for longing for Him?  It is unfathomable to me, actually!

Now think about one of those times when you've personally longed for something.  Have you ever had just as much energy and emotion directed toward God in that same way?  If not, why?  If so, is it a faint memory, or is it a constant directive in your life?  You know, the best present we can give God this Christmas is our presence.  I don't know about you, but that's what I want to give this Christmas...myself.  It's actually the only thing I can give to my Heavenly Father that matters.  It's the only gift He wants.  He longs for this gift, and I should long to give it, too.  Me.  100% all of me.  What's it going to be this Christmas?  Presents? or Presence?

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Teen Spirit Green Cap or Rice Flower and Shea?

Ephesians 5:1-2  "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

When most children are little, they want to grow up to be just like their mommy or daddy.  Why?  It's who they adore!  (What can I say, they don't know any better or anyone else at the time!)  Of course, when they get a little older, they turn their focus far from the parental figure to the popular figure.  You don't have to look farther than any storefront to see how the advertisers have clued in on this fact.  It's not always the product that results in sales, it's the person representing the product.  Get the right superstar to be an advocate for a product, and it's sure to be a hit.  Why?  Imitation is the best form of flattery.  Kids want to be just like the one they idolize, and if that person uses Teen Spirit deodorant with the green cap, then they want to as well.

Thankfully, we eventually grow out of that impressionable age where we believe everything advertised, even if it's by our favorite star.  But in contrast, as we mature in Christ, should we not continue to do exactly that, except putting our focus on Christ? 

The Bible says in order to imitate Christ, I must live a life of love.  How do I practically do that?  This time the answer isn't rolling off my fingers as I type.  I can't physically understand how much God loves us.  Think about it.  If you have children, would you let your child die so that everyone in the world could live?  Could you watch as your child is beaten and tormented, bruised and whipped?  I love my friends.  There's no doubt about that.  But I don't think I'd let my child die so that my friends could live.  But that's what is so amazing about the love God has for us.  He did just that.  And although He doesn't command us to sacrifice our only child, He does command us to live a life of love.

How do you love the unlovable?  How do you love the ones who hurt you?  How do you love your enemies?  How do you show love practically, day in and day out?  The only answer I can think of lies in dying to self and seeking God.  You see, in and of ourselves, we cannot truly love.  It's only through Christ, the source of love, that we can.  I John 4:7-8, 16 says "Dear friends, let us love one another, for loves comes from God, Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love...And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.   Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him."

I first must have a relationship with Christ to understand love.  The Bible says that love comes from God and God alone.  When I was a small child, I asked Him to come into my life, forgive me of my sins, and save me.  I gave Him control, and that started a relationship with Him.  But just because I have a relationship with Christ doesn't mean I'm living a life of love.  Daily I must choose to imitate Christ and show love.  Daily I must deny selfish ambitions and put others first.  No one ever said it was easy, or even fun for that matter.  Sometimes it feels so good to just hold a grudge or be angry with someone.  But it's clear that's not living a life of love.  No, holding on to negative emotions are not what it means to imitate Christ.

The verse closes with saying that Christ's death was a "fragrant offering."  How could someone dying be a sweet smell?  Only with God, that's for sure.  Think about your favorite scent.  If you're a girl, maybe it's a perfume or chocolate.  If you're a guy, it's probably food.  One of my favorite scents is from a perfume that Bath and Body Works used to make -- Rice Flower and Shea.  It's a cheap perfume, actually, but I love it more than any of the most expensive smells in the department stores.  I have a large stockpile of it, and each year, that grows smaller.  It's "precious" to me, and one day it will not even be available.  All it takes is a little whiff to make me feel good. 

I wonder, can people get a little "whiff" of me and sense the love of God in me?  What do I smell like, spiritually speaking?  Is the love I'm showing giving a good scent for Christ?  Christ's death on the cross was a precious fragrance.  The love He expressed was such a sacrifice of love that although it was painful, it was sweet smelling to God.  And when we live a life of love for God, we also are a sweet fragrance to God, and we should be a sweet fragrance to the world around us.

So what is it?  Am I imitating Christ and His love, resulting in that "Rice Flower and Shea" kind of smell to others?  Or am I wearing some Teen Spirit green cap, trying to cover up the smelly parts, hoping no one notices?  Who am I imitating?  My favorite star or God Almighty? 

Lord, teach me how to live a life of love so that I am a fragrant offering to You.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Stock in God...My Refuge and Strength. My Help in Times of Trouble

Psalm 46:1, 10  "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Be still, and know that I am God.  I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

"You should own stock in the ER," my brother Bruce joked as he called me yesterday.  I laughed at his comment.  But, yesterday is one of those days I don't care to repeat.  It's also one of those days I have to reflect and ask God, "What do you want me to learn from this?" 

It started with my husband Frank taking our fourteen year old daughter Amber to the ER with hives, itching, severe abdominal pain, and extreme difficulty breathing.  So extreme, I might add, that he didn't think he could make it to the hospital.  He took her to the brand new ER that just opened down the street, not associated with any hospital.  We've seen the signs before, and we were pretty sure she was having an allergic reaction.  He injected her with the epi-pen, and off they went.  Our electricity then went out at home.  The doctors mis-diagnosed her at the ER.  And although she was feeling drained but back to normal by the afternoon, her allergist wanted to see her in his office in shorter time then it takes me to drive there. 

This was Amber's fourth trip to the ER in the last few months, due to something called "Peanut Desensitization."  You see, she's been deathly allergic to peanuts her entire life, but since January, we have made weekly visits to the allergist, working to overcome this allergy.  Sure, there have been a few bumps along the way, but on Monday she "graduated" from the program.  We thought those days of reactions were behind us.  Little did we know, three days after graduation, she would have the most severe allergic reaction of her life since the day we found out she had this allergy.

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about everything that had transpired.  And all I can say, is I have a great God.  And God has given me some amazing friends to pray for our family during crisis.

Maybe I don't own stock in the ER, but let me say, I do own stock in God.  I don't deserve it.  I didn't buy it by good works or any great investment I had done.  But God gave it to me freely when His son Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sin.  He invested His Son for me.  All I had to do was accept it, ask Him to come into my life, forgive me of my sins, and commit myself to Him.  I did that as a small child, and I am so thankful that no one can ever take it away from me. 

I can't imagine what my life would be without God in it.  He cares about every detail, even leading us to the right doctors, including the "Best Allergist in Dallas" when we first moved here eleven plus years ago.  No, seriously, he IS the best, as named by D Magazine!  Props to Dr. Robert Sugarman!  He spent an hour with Amber yesterday afternoon, in the room, looking at the ER reports, and discussing her situation.  I was so touched by his care and sensitivity with us, late in the day.  He did what was right for Amber, instead of what was right for him and his staff.  They even stayed at the office until 6 PM with us, just to be sure she didn't have another reaction after her next "dose" of peanuts.  Yep, he's a keeper, and it's not by our doing that we found him.  We prayed for God to give us the right doctors when we moved here, and isn't it just like God to answer prayers?

I would be lost, literally, without God.  My heart beats for people to understand what it really means to have a relationship with Him!  I have friends that know about God.  They ask people to pray when things go south, but that's where it stops.  They have never had a time in their life when they've given control of their life to Him and started to have a personal, intimate friendship with Him.  How I wish for everyone to understand what being a Christian is really about.  Religion?  No.  Believing in God?  No.  Relationship with God and giving up control?  Most definitely.  If you do not have a relationship with God like the one I've talked about, please contact me.  It would be my privilege to show you what the Bible says about becoming a Christian.  :)

He knows what tragedies I might face.  And nothing happens to me without it passing by God first.  Why does He let these things happen?  I have no idea, only that in all things, He should be glorified.  And that's what I want to do this morning.  I give Him the glory for giving us an amazing doctor in Dr. Sugarman.  I give Him the glory for the "Peanut Desensitization," even with the bumps in the road that we've had.  I give Him the glory for the new ER being built just minutes from our home.  I give Him the glory for the wonderful epi-pen.  I give Him the glory for all things.

He is my refuge and strength.  He is an ever-present help in times of trouble.  And I will not question why...I will be still, and know that He is God so He can be exalted. 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com