GodandMe2theMax

Creative parenting...

“Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand…For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks…”  Matthew 12:25,34b

In this passage, Jesus addresses the Pharisees when they accuse him of being the devil himself.  Jesus point blank tells them, “Every kingdom divided against itself cannot stand.”  (Sidenote: This definitely makes me really concerned about the future of the USA with the constant division between republicans and democrats, but alas, that’s not the purpose of this blog…)  

Jesus then goes on to say, “Every city or household divided against itself cannot stand.”  And that’s where I am focused this morning.  The household.  If you know me personally, you will know that my one constant prayer request for about 2 years running now is that we will have wisdom to know how to parent our children as individuals.  Admittedly, parenting is a hard task, and I tip my hat to those who tackle it by themselves.  Unless God puts me in that situation, I can’t imagine ever having to do it.  With our oldest now in college, you would think parenting would be easier, but I’m not finding that to be the case.  At times, I find it overwhelming, especially right now with a full-blown adolescent teenaged boy in the house.

Have you ever built a tower with Lincoln logs or Legos?  Now, truth be told, I haven’t built very many, because my children never really played with those toys.  In fact, Jacob told me the other day that he didn’t play with them because they left nothing to the imagination.  (I thought they were so popular because you could use your imagination to build anything with them!)  Not Jacob, though.  He would rather create something out of paper and tape instead of putting together pre-made pieces that link together to form something.  “That’s real creativity, mom.” 

Top & Bottom Left: A self portrait  Top Right: A set of aerodynamic wings he swears will be able to help him fly (if only he were the weight of a bird)  Bottom right: a net, made from paper and tape, twisted together and tied in knots

Indeed, he has made some incredible things by being creative in this way, and it’s true, even when he was a toddler, he didn’t play with the box of Legos we had purchased.  But if I gave him tape, paper and/or a cardboard box, he would play for hours.  He somehow had a plan in his mind of what the completed project was supposed to look like, and he would execute the plans until the project was perfected.

Top Left - a revolver made completely from tape...not that I'm proud of my son designing a revolver, but you have to admit it's pretty cool.  Top right:  I believe this ended up being transformed into some kind of a shield  Bottom Left: No, this isn't a pitchfork, it's a triton   Bottom Right:  "Rubberband Man", one of my personal favorites, made completely from rubberbands, no glue or anything else.

So if you by chance have played with Legos, imagine working with a partner and laying your foundational Lego pieces.  You begin to build higher and higher, but you realize that something doesn’t look or feel quite right.  You look down and realize the reason is because some of the foundation bricks you laid are no longer there.  Perplexed, you discover that you’re not working with your partner at all to build one big edifice.  You are working together, side by side to build the same thing, but your idea of how it should be done is quite different from your partner, so you end up with two smaller, less stable, very different creations.  Your partner is building a creation and you are building yours. 

When Jesus says “a house divided against itself cannot stand” I can only think of how important it is to be unified as parents in how we raise our children.  This is easier said than done, as I'm learning daily!  Our faith is the first foundation that everything is built on, but then it gets a little tougher.  If you’ve struggled as a parent, maybe like me, you just don’t know what the right answer is.  Do you make them do their homework or do you let them fail?  Are you rescuing them too much or are you being the kind of parent that God wants you to be?  Maybe you’re new to parenting, and you wonder if you should spank your child or if you can correct megative behavior with “time-outs”.  Maybe your husband/wife doesn’t believe in spanking and you believe you should.  Maybe you and your spouse are together building your own Lego creations...separately

As I read this passage, I am reminded that I do not have all the answers.  There are so many “unknowns” in the realm of parenting.  But this one thing I do know, the foundation of parenting must be firmly grounded in Jesus Christ.  I find it interesting that Jesus later says “…out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”  Last week was extremely stressful on me.  Our family was out in California to take our oldest to college, and leaving her out there was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  My husband stayed an extra week, but I had to come home with our son so he could start his sophomore year of high school.  The stress of getting back in the school groove, combined with a week of single parenting, combined with massive stress at work after being gone for 12 days culminated in a massive outpouring of anger on my son Thursday night. 

After he went to bed, the Holy Spirit nudged me (kicked me, actually) and I realized that although the content of what I said to my son was 100% accurate and truthful, the way I delivered it was in no way a resemblance of my Heavenly Father.  I’m so thankful He gives us fresh mercies every morning, because on Friday morning, the first thing I said to Jacob was that I was sorry for losing my temper with him.  I asked him to forgive me, and he did.  As I look back over last week, my daily quiet time was limited to reading the daily “Jesus Calling” while sitting in the bathroom.  I was going a mile a minute dealing with life's stresses that I pretty much neglected my relationship with God.  On top of that, I don’t sleep well when my husband is out of town, so suffice it to say I was one big mess emotionally, and I pretty much relieved all those stresses on my son.  “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”  Yep, that’s what took place for sure.  Again, I’m so thankful that God is a forgiving God who gives new mercies!

But back to parenting...  “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”  Just like Jacob had a plan for each of his creations, as parents, I'm reminded that we must have a plan.  We must have a plan for discipline, for teaching our kids the Bible, and for preparing them for life.  When our kids were younger, my husband and I used to have an annual retreat where we planned out yearly goals for our kids and our marriage.  It was always a time to evaluate what we’ve done right and wrong and a time to ask God to show us the next step.  We no longer have annual retreats, per se, because at this stage of parenting, those meetings have to come much more frequently as we navigate the tender adolescent teenaged years.  Trust me, they more closely resemble weekly, if not daily meetings, trying to come up with a plan that will help tackle whatever the daily problem is.

Top Left:  Helmet (made to size); he eventually spray painted it gold, his favorite color   Top Right: A working bow and arrow, made from post-it notes, tape, and rubberbands  Middle Left: An army ninja  Bottom Left: turtle spinner

So my thoughts are this:  Do you have a firm foundation in your home and marriage?  In Texas, we have to actually water the foundation of our homes to avoid cracks.  Figuratively, are you watering your foundation with the Living Water of Jesus Christ on a regular basis so your heart overflows His love?   Are you consistent in your discipline?  Do you have a unified creative plan in place for each of your individual children?  Do you regularly have marital staff meetings to evaluate your family and set goals?  Are you working together to raise the kids or are you workig your plan and your spouse working his, hoping one of you is doing something right.  And as you work those plans, are you spending the necessary time in the Word so that your heart is filled with God-thoughts and they outpour through your lips? 

All these random thoughts about family, children, and being creative as a unified parental front do really hit home for me.  Parenting is tough.  Sometimes I want to give up.  Sometimes I feel like I can't find a creative way to fix the problem.  Sometimes I try to tell God this isn't what I signed up for.  (Honesty is the best policy, right?  And I'm just being honest here!)  I'm just so thankful for God's Word and how He allows phrases to jump out and hit home in my heart, right when I need to be reminded of them the most.  I'm thankful, too, for a Godly husband who leads our family but mostly for a loving God who loves me in spite of my sinful outbursts and mid-life temper tantrums.

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

What's in Your Bag?

This last weekend, our ladies ministry at church hosted a luncheon entitled "What's in Your Bag?"  It consisted of ladies bringing salads and lots of desserts, and a gently used purse for a purse exchange.  Ladies picked numbers from a box, and then about 1 out of every 5 ladies answered a random question about the contents of their purse.  It was a fun time of getting to know new people and attach some names to those that I'd never known personally.

After the purse exchange, I shared a devotional that God had layed on my heart.  Several ladies told me they couldn't come and wanted me to blog about the devotional, so here's what I shared, plus a little more.  

There's a lot of different kinds of bags.  You've got your over-the-shoulder bag.  Your clutch.  Your "dump" bag - you know the kind...big enough to dump everything you will need plus some extra "just in case".  We've got beach bags.  I personally have some bags under my eyes, and definitely, we can't forget the ever-hated saddlebags.

So as I prepared for the devotional, I thought, how can I relate this "bag" theme to our life?  I looked up the definition of a bag on dictionary.com.  This is what it said:  "A container or receptacle, capable of being closed at the mouth."

Hmmm.  Now that's an interesting definition, isn't it?  Especially when comparing it to our life!  At times, perhaps, my life could be considered a "bag."  (Depending on who you talk to!)  What about you?

But as I prayed more about God wanted me to share in relation to this theme, I felt He was asking me to dig a little deeper into this "bag of life" idea.  Down to the bottom of the bag.  You see, just like some of those purses that are weighted down with those big items that make your purse too heavy to carry around, sometimes we allow things into our life to do the same - weigh us down.  And when those things sink down to the bottom of our "bag of life", things you don't want to deal with or things that they're too painful to deal with, what are they called?  Baggage.  

Baggage is defined as "things that encumber one's freedom, progress, development, or adaptability."  In other words, "Baggage" is the things in your life that keep you from being all that God wants you to be.  And a lot of time, that baggage has its roots in anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, hurt feelings, and years of built up emotional pain. 

Bingo.  Finally, I knew this is what God really wanted me to focus on.  You see, probably like you, I have had plenty of experience with baggage in my life.  But about 24 years ago, I learned and started to put into practice nine words - words when joined together bring extreme power and healing, with God's help.

Let me back up.  I grew up the youngest of four children.  I had three older brothers, and yes, I was the baby in the family in every sense of the word.  I was pretty close to my middle brother, but I had a mouth on me, and I used it to try to destroy my other two brothers at every chance I could get.  They did the same to me, mind you.  It was a hate-hate relationship.  Like many siblings, we just simply didn't get along.  There were countless times when my brother and I would get in a screaming match, and we'd get sent to our rooms.  We'd yell across the hall in a whisper at each other and continue the fight, whenever possible.  When my mom decided we'd had enough punishment, she'd line us up and say, "Tell your brother you're sorry."  "Tell your sister you're sorry."  And we'd turn to each other, "Sorry." 

And that was that. 

The situation was swept under the rug until the next day, when it would start all over again.

But the truth is that with every fight, I would put that little boulder into my "bag of life" and despise my brother a little more.  And he did the same with me.

Fast forward to when my husband and I started dating.  With our first big fight, my temper raged, and my mouth started spewing the only way I knew how to deal with things - in anger.  Then he started to speak to me in a foreign language, and truthfully, although he's studied Greek, Hebrew, and Spanish, he didn't really know a foreign language.  But it was foreign to me, for sure.  He said to me these nine words:  "I'm sorry.  I was wrong.  Will you forgive me?"

I think that was the first time I'd ever heard those words strung together in that order, and I didn't really know what they meant, nor did I understand how to receive them.  I looked at him, spewed a little more, but then I could see he was waiting for a response from me.  Trying to end the awkward moment, I said, "Sure." 

The next fight we had, I had my ammo ready to start letting him have it for everything I could think of to attack him with.  It was one of those "shoot first and ask questions later" kind of deals.  But mid-way through my rant, he stopped me and said, "But I asked you to forgive me for that, and you said you did."

To stay I was stopped dead in my tracks is an understatment.  I knew I didn't have a leg to stand on, and I was going to lose that fight.  Also, for the first time in my life, aside from understanding God's forgiveness, my eyes were opened to what it means to really, truly forgive someone.  Personally forgive.

I was only about twenty years old, but even then, I already had a lot of heavy items in my bag of life.  But from that point on, I was determined to not add more, if I could help it.  Even in the last few years, God has started to remove some of those really heavy ones, placed there from years of unresolved issues with my brothers. 

This concept of forgiveness is really something foreign in today's society.  Think about it.  When was the last time someone asked you to forgive them?  And how awkward was it when it took place?  Sometimes I've asked people to forgive me, and their response to me was, "It's ok."  But what does an "it's ok" response do?  It validates the situation.  It allows the person to put the item back in their bag of life, with the possibility of it weighing them down in the future.

Now I have to be honest, here.  We are human.  In my twenty-two plus years of marriage, there have been plenty of times that we've had a big fight, and Frank has asked me to forgive him.  At times, I have been just so angry that I decide I can't do it.  Sometimes I've told him, "No."  Sometimes I've told him "Not  yet."  But it usually doesn't take too long for the Holy Spirit to convict me of my unforgiveness, and within a short period of time, with God's help, I've been able to make the choice to forgive.

Galatians 5:22-23 says the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance."  When we fill our life with all this baggage of unforgiveness, bitterness, unresolved anger and emotional pain for years and years, how much room in our life is there for these character qualities that God actually wants us to have?  Not much, really.  And on top of that, what happens to you when you add that "one more thing" into your bag of life?  You know the one, the "straw that broke the camel's back" incident.  Was it really the "straw" that made you get so mad and explode at that person?  No, it was all the other things in your bag of life building up, and it was the weight of that one light straw that put you over the edge.

On a side note, this concept is one of the most powerful things you can practice with your children.  There have been countless times I've been "pushed over the edge" and lost my temper with my children.  Stress at work, financial pressure, things I can't control, plus "one more thing" has resulted in me exploding and taking it all out on one or both of my kids.  But do you know how powerful it is to say to your son, "Jacob, I'm sorry for losing my temper with you.  It was wrong of me to do that.  Will you forgive me?"  Powerful is an understatement, really, and it models for your children the right way to deal with things, instead of sweeping them under the rug. 

Ephesians 4:32 says "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ sake has forgiven you."  If Jesus can save a mess of a life called Beth Banfill, then who am I to choose to not forgive someone else?

So, think about it.  Is there someone in your life that you've wronged and you need to go to and forgiveness?  Maybe its the other way around.  Maybe someone hurt your feelings and they don't even know it, but you're carrying around that emotional pain that is weighing you down.  What are you going to do about it?  Are you going to stew and just decide you don't want to deal with them anymore?  Avoid them?  Leave the church so you don't have to see them?  Or maybe your revenge plan is to unfriend them from facebook.

Life happens, and we are human.  We probably offend people every day without knowing it.  Sometimes people get offended just because they're really sensitive people.  But as Christians, we need to be sensitive to how we are perceived, and we need to be taking personal inventory of our emotions.  God wants us to deal with those things that weigh down our bag of life.  He doesn't want us to allow them to sink to the bottom and let them determine our future actions. 

Do you and God need to do some emotional healing and cleaning? Forgiveness is not easy, and just because we forgive, doesn't mean we forget.  But the bag of life can definitely not weigh us down so much when we practice Godly forgiveness.  

So I ask you, "What's in your bag?" 

 

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

"Blessing Time"...Meet Nephie and Catherine

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  Psalm 147:3

"Blessing Time" was a scheduled part of CAMP LIFE each day.  This is when I could go spend one-on-one time with each girl, along with my Zambian partner Magdalene, of course. I'd heard others who had been to CAMP LIFE before say how this was their favorite part of the day, and I was anxious to get to know these girls a little better.

Education is key in bringing about change in the lives of these children, and as I said previously, that is a luxury that most of them are not able to afford.  Through Family Legacy's Father's Heart Sponsorship program, children are able to attend a Lifeway Christian Academy and receive one meal a day.  In addition to that, as an incentive for the child's good attendance, extra "blessings" of food are given to the caregivers at home.  You see, many families would rather keep the kids at home to do the work or take care of the other children.  Some of the situations are much like child/slave labor, and that's why the extra incentives have been built in for the caregivers.  

To sponsor a child through "The Father's Heart" program, for children in grades 1-6, there is a is a 1-time $95/enrollment fee for school and then a $44/month commitment.  For children in grades 7-12, the sponsorship changes to $66/month and a 1-time enrollment fee of $190.  The price differential is because of the additional testings that the government requires to take place for the older children.

This short video is very indicative of what I saw and what a difference an education can make.  Take some time to watch...

 

(If for some reason you cannot see the video, I also posted it on my facebook!  You can look there or message me, and I will send you a link!)

Over the course of the week, we had "Blessing Time" with all 10 girls, but Tuesday, we met with Nephie, Catherine, and Ireen.  I want to introduce you to each one, so you can pray for them specifically for them.

This is "Nephie".  Is she not just beautiful?  Just look at that sweet, innocent smile!  I think you'll find that I'm going to say almost that exact same thing about all my girls.  They are all so beautiful, and I would soon learn just how beautiful, inside and out!  

Her real name is Nephel Phiri, and Nephie is the one mentioned in the earlier blog who spelled her name wrong on the necklace, but "Nephie" just seemed to fit her well.  The last name of Phiri is a common name in Zambia, kind of like "Smith" or "Brown" is here.  When I arrived at CAMP LIFE on Monday, looking for my Zambian partner Magdalene so I could identify my group of girls, apparently she spotted me first, so Magdalene sent Nephie over to get me.  She literally attacked me with hugs as if we were long, lost friends.  "Auntie Beth!!!  Come this way!!!!"  And that was my first greeting from Nephie, actually, with any of "my girls".

When I sat down with Nephie for "Blessing Time", I learned that she's 11 years old.  I asked if she knew her birthday, and she did not.  We were told that many of the children have no idea what day they were born, only about how old they are.  My heart cracked a little more.  If you know me, you know birthdays are big for me.  My husband jokes that I celebrate "Beth's Birthday Month" and proclaim it as a national holiday.  We were instructed to write down a birthday of 1/1/and the year if the child didn't know her birthday, that way the ministry could identify the child's birthdate as being "unknown."  

Nephie is in grade 3, and praise the Lord, she currently has a sponsor through the Father's Heart program.  But did you catch that?  She is in grade 3, but she is 11 years old.  That means Nephie is already 3 years behind because of not being in school.  Can you imagine your 11 year old being in 3rd grade, but still being smart as a whip?  My heart split open a little more.

When I asked her what makes her happy, she said "I'm happy because I get to go to school now."  How many of our children will answer that question like that?  But these kids know and understand the value of education.  How I wish our children could really grasp that same importance!

Nephie is a single orphan - her mom passed away, and she lives with her dad.  She said that there are 8 children in the family, 4 boys and 4 girls.  She said she sleeps on the floor of a two room house.  Nephie has goals of being a nurse one day, and she asked that we pray for her to be able to concentrate at school.

I asked her what pains her, and she told me what pains her is listening to her 18 year old brother cry throughout the night in pain, due to his sickle cell anemia.  She said they don't have any money for medicines, so her brother cries a lot, and that makes her sad.  I asked her if she feels safe at home, and she said now that her community chased away one of her neighbors, she does feel safe.  She said the man kept preying on her, but he never hurt her though.  (Praise God for His protection!)

I learned that before coming to CAMP LIFE, Nephie had already asked Jesus into her heart.  However, sometimes she attends a JW church.  Please pray that God will invade her home and she will understand the difference between truth and lies, as her mind is probably getting mixed messages.  Finally, Nephie asked that we pray for her dad to find employment.  We prayed together, hugged, and I told her if she wanted to talk with me anytime later in the week, just to let me know.  Please pray for Nephie and the prayer requests mentioned!

At the end of the week, each child was given a wool blanket.  This is a picture of Nephie with hers.  Special thanks to my friend Ashlie Rich who sponsored this blanket for Nephie.  (More on the blankets in a later blog!)

The next "Blessing Time" we were able to do was with Catherine - Catherine Tembo.  Catherine was my oldest orphan girl.  She is 14 years old and even knows her birthday - November 9th, 1998, but as I quickly learned, she's already had a harder life than most people I know.  She's a double orphan - both her mom and her dad have already passed away.  

Catherine shared with us that after her parents died, she used to live with her auntie.  The auntie made her "go out with boys" so they would have money for food.  By the grace of God, Catherine's grandma heard about what was going on, and she stepped in and took Catherine away from the auntie.  Now, she  lives with her grandma, 2 brothers, 2 uncles, and 5 cousins in a 2-room house.  She said there are 8 people who sleep on the floor in the room she sleeps in.

Pictured above is Catherine Tembo.  
Can't you just see the joy of the Lord come through her face as she sings one of the praise songs, while waiting in line?

 

Remember that first "Small Group" I talked about from Monday?  The one where I was so concerned about the girls not understanding the decision to accept Christ into their lives?  Well, when I asked Catherine if she had ever thought about making that decision for herself, she told me, "I already did that."  I asked her to tell me more about it, and she said, "I made that decision in "Small Group" on Monday, Auntie Beth!  Isn't that just like God?  He has all the details wrapped up perfectly, and we don't need to worry, not one bit!

Like Nephie, Catherine is also blessed to already have a sponsor through the Father's Heart program. She attends the Lifeway Christian Academy in her compound of Chainda, and her favorite subject in school is English, but she has a goal of being a teacher one day.  

I asked Catherine if she feels safe at home, and she said she does most of the time, now that she lives with her grandma.  But she did say one of her uncles gets drunk all the time and screams at her, "Follow your father to the grave!"  She said once he threw a big stone on back, but when he is drunk, she now just tries to stay away from him.

Catherine wept as she asked us to pray that God would forgive her for her past mistakes with boys and that she will stay pure now that she's a child of the King!  She was a child.  A victim, really, and yet she was holding guilt for what was forced upon her.  We prayed together, and I believe God healed her heart and made her whole again.  That's what He promises to do, you know, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  Psalm 147:3

Catherine asked that we pray that her sponsor will be able to continue, then she said one more prayer request.  "Please pray that God will add years to my life."  This 14 year old girl knows all too well the reality of the brevity of life.  She has seen it.  She has lived it.  And she doesn't want to repeat the cycle of death.

"Please pray that God will add years to my life." - Catherine Tembo
Special thanks to my friends Steven and Kelly Bardeua who sponsored this blanket for Catherine!

 

We had time on Tuesday for one more "Blessing Time" - with a little girl named Ireen Phiri, but I will save that story for the next blog.  I'm well aware that as I type all the details, most people don't have time to read all the details, and her story is one that cannot be missed, so stay tuned.  It's her story that keeps me awake at night, and haunts me during the daylight hours.

Take the time to pray for Nephie and Catherine, will you please?  Especially pray that they will be able to stay in school and grow in the Lord!  And pray that God continues to bind up the wounds of these brokenhearted ones who have lost so much.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Simon Says to Follow the Leader...

"I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 
My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all;
no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand."
John 10:28-29

Do you remember the games we played as children? Simon Says, Follow the Leader, Mother May I, and I'm sure there were others that I'm getting too old to remember. 

"Simon Says touch your nose.  Simon Says turn around in circles.  OK-stop.  You're out!   (Insert laughter)...Simon didn't say to stop!"  Or what about Follow the Leader?  I don't remember much about the rules of the game, but I remember I had to emulate every move my leader made, and if I missed one move, I was out of the game.  With Mother May I we couldn't make a move without permission, and the first one to get to "Mother" was the winner.

I have a file on my computer called "In Progress."  It's a file of microsoft word documents that have miscellaneous song lyrics, poems, half-done thoughts and random ramblings of mine, kept in hopes of completing them some day.  Half of the things I forget I ever wrote, and then some of them I pray over regularly and ask God to give me just the right words and rhythm to flow on paper what my heart feels. 

This morning, I randomly opened a file I had named Follow the Leader.  I couldn't help but think of the similarities and polar opposite comparisons between these man-made rules and God's views.  Think about it.  With Mother May I, the whole point of the game is to check with "Mother" to see if my action is permissable.  Well, God's version is Father May I, and I think He likes this rule of the game.  We should always be checking our every move to see if it's ok with what Father wants for us.  But the difference is that He gives us free access to Him.  He doesn't try to prevent us from getting to Him!  In fact, it's just the opposite - He's on call 24-7, we have His written word, the Bible, and Hebrews 13:5 says He will never leave us.

I don't remember much about Follow the Leader, but I do remember we were supposed to watch our leader and do every move just like them.  The leader would try to do crazy actions and sudden moves to get us to mess up, but God's version is so different.  He makes the path clear for us, but just like in the game, we have to keep our eyes on Him.  And when we mess up, like we always do, He doesn't kick us out of the game.  We just confess, admit we made a mistake, and keep right on trying to follow.  The great thing about God's version of Follow the Leader is that the game never ends until we die.  We should constantly be following, copying, and emulating our Leader.

God's equivalent to Simon Says is God Says but there's no tricks along the way.  He has all the rules layed out in the Bible for us.  We just have to read the rule book to know them.  And no, God never smiles when we make a mistake and says with a laugh, "You're out.  You're out of the game." 

Now let me stop there.  You have to be "in the game" first.  So many people believe in God; in fact, most people do.  The Bible says "even the demons believe."  But believing in God is not going to get you to heaven.  The God Says rulebook is very clear, and I would be remiss to not be very clear in these next few paragraphs as well, because I know there are people who read my blog who "believe in God" but have never had a life-changing encounter with Him.   

There must be a time in your life when you've realized that you are a sinner, and your sin separates you from God in heaven who is perfect and holy.  Yes, many people believe that He died on the cross, was buried, and even that He rose again.  But the fact that some people miss is that when He did this, He conquered sin and death, so that we can have eternal life.  But it's only through putting our faith in Jesus Christ that this takes place.  There must be a time in your life when you've asked Jesus to come into your life and save you, when You've asked Him to take control.  It's a personal decision, and just because you've gone to church or been raised in a Christian family, doesn't make you a Christian.  I like to use the analogy that it's as if you were driving down the road, the "sin road" and you realize you're going the wrong way.  You then decide to do a U-turn and move over to the passenger side of the car of life, and let God be the driver.  There is nothing I can do to earn my salvation.  Nothing.  Being a good person, giving to the poor, going to Africa - none of those will get me to heaven when I die.  It's only by putting my faith and trust in Jesus Christ that I can be sure of heaven.

So before I go any further, think back.  Can you remember the moment you asked Jesus to come into your life, forgive you of your sins and save you?  Can you remember how it happened?  Or do you just try to be a good person who believes in God and is trying to do your best in life?  If there's never been a time in your life when you've made the decision to let God be the driver, message me or find someone who can show you what the Bible says about becoming a Christian.  I urge you -  make that decision today.  Be sure. 

The Bible says every person will have to give an account of their life.  If you were to die today, and Jesus said, "Why should I let you into heaven?"  Do you have an answer for him?  For me, my answer would be "God, You should let me in heaven because when I was a small child, as best I knew how, I asked you to come into my life and forgive me of my sins, and I put my faith and trust in You."  And that is the only answer He will accept, because everything else would be something I would have done, not what He did.

If there's been a point in your life when you've asked Jesus Christ to take control, then God doesn't say "you're out of the game when you make a mistake."  And that is one of the most awesome things about this game of life!  He loves us so much that He holds us with super-glue.  Once we've asked Him to save us, like the verse at the top says, "Nothing will snatch us from His hand!"

I love how God uses the ordinary to speak His truth.  I probably will never think of those childhood games in the same way again.  And to be honest, I sure like the rules of God Says, Father May I, and God's version of Follow the Leader tremendously more!

It's for You I'll live no matter the cost.
And it's peace You give when the winds blow strong.
I will trust in You as You show the way.
Unrestrained.  I will follow my Leader.

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

 

Be Sure your sins will find you out...Proverbs 28:13

Proverbs 28:13  "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."

Be sure your sins will find you out.

It was our first year of marriage, and it was Halloween time.  Candy was everywhere in the stores.  If you know me, you know chocolate is my weakness.  Everywhere I turned, it seemed like those bags of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups were calling my name.  We really had no money, and in fact, at that time, we were going in the hole each month.  But those Reese's Cups still kept a-calling. 

My husband was a pastor in Ohio, and I remembered hearing another lady in the church talk about her "stash" of chocolate that she hid from her husband.  (She had chocolate-induced migraines, but she loved her chocolate so much that it was worth it.  Her husband, however, was not so fond of the migraines, and that's why she felt the need to have her "stash.")  Lightbulb illuminated in my head.  Hmmm.  Maybe I could go ahead and get those Reese's Cups and just have my little "stash" so my husband wouldn't know...

Now, problem #1 with that is that I knew my husband wouldn't want me to waste money we didn't have on chocolate.  Problem #2 is that my husband doesn't even like chocolate.  We had no children at the time to get into my little greedy stockpile, so there was absolutely no need to hide my purchase.  The truth is, if I did give in to temptation and purchase those Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, it really would have been ok with him.  It would not have been the unpardonable sin in the Banfill home to spend $3 on something we didn't need.  So if I did go ahead and purchase those Reese's Cups, I certainly didn't need to hide them.  

But no.  Not only did I buy, but I also stashed those Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in what I thought was a very safe place.  Now, you have to understand.  I was young.  And apparently, I wasn't only young, I was stupid, too.  You see, I grew up in a home with an electric stove, but the home we lived in during our first few years of marriage had a gas oven.  You may know where this is going, and it is not a pretty thought.  Yes, I stashed that bag of Reese's Cups in the "storage" drawer of the oven.  A storage drawer, right?  That's where my mom always kept a bunch of pots/pans/lids when I was growing up.  Little did I know that in a gas oven, that's no storage drawer -- that's called a broiler.

So one Wednesday, I called up my husband at the church and asked him what he wanted for dinner.  "Spaghetti?"  I suggested.  "No, how about fishsticks?"  he replied.  "How about spaghetti?"  "No fishsticks."  We went back and forth, but when it was apparent I would not be persuading him, I actually said in gest, "OK, I will be a submissive wife and make those fishsticks."

That's when the problem started.

I pre-heated the oven, and then I jumped on the couch in the other room and turned on Oprah.  Now, I always kept my oven pretty clean, so when I was on the couch and smelled something burning, I just assumed something had spilled over into the stove from the previous time it was used.  I jumped up, pulled the layer of tin foil off the wire rack, put the fishsticks in, and jumped back on the couch to watch more Oprah.

Within a few minutes, I looked up and noticed soot flying out of my kitchen.  I jumped up and ran to the kitchen, only to find flames shooting out of the back of my oven, my kitchen filled with smoke, and me still clueless as to the problem.  I called my husband at the church, trying to stretch the phone cord almost out the door to get away from the smoke.  My husband had already left the church, so then I decided to call 911.  Why I decided to call him first instead of the fire department, I can't even explain.  I told you I was young and stupid. 

The fire department came.  They cleared the house, and eventually they let me back in one of the back bedrooms.  I cried, still unaware of the real problem.  My husband came home, noticing the fire department at our house.  In a panic, I heard him yell, "Where's my wife?  Is she ok?"  They directed him to me in the back of the house.  I remember crying in his arms, shaking like a crying baby.  He consoled me and tried to calm me down.  Once the fire was put out, we ventured to the kitchen to talk to the firemen. 

"Do you know what caused it?"  I asked.  The fireman pulled what was left of my Reese's Peanut Butter Cup stash out of the broiler.  "Yes, ma'am.  Can you tell me what this is?"  Eyes wide open, embarrassed, with shock on my face, I answered, "Uh, those are my Reese's Cups I was hiding from my husband." 

The fireman then pulled out my fishsticks from the oven.  His exact words, "Ma'am, I don't think your sausages are salvageable."  Those fishsticks that Frank had his heart set on had shrivelled and darkened up to what looked like Jimmy Dean's breakfast sausages.  I was too much of a basket case to realize I really needed a picture of them, for posterity's sake.  What I wouldn't do to show you the end result of those poor fishsticks.

We ended up having to eat dinner out at the local Chinese restaurant.  Here's the kicker, and it's proof God has a sense of humor.  I mentioned it was a Wednesday.  We had prayer meeting that night, and we were doing spiritual preparation for a revival that was upcoming at our church.  In our prayer meeting, Frank called out a list of references, with those in the congregation randomly volunteering to look up the verses and read them when he called for it.  The verse I randomly chose:  "The Lord does not delight in burnt offerings."

Now, I can look back at that story and laugh.  It's ok, you can, too.  I used to be so embarrassed by it, but I've grown up a little, and I can now laugh at myself.  After all, that was almost twenty years ago!  But the truth is, every thing that led to that fiasco was sin.  Let's call it for what it was.  Sure, there's no sin in buying a bag of candy.  But if you know you really shouldn't, if you know you can't afford it, and certainly, if you think you have to hide the fact that you bought it, there's definite sin involved.  Yes, the Lord did not delight in my burnt offering that day.

Over the last few days, the Lord has repeatedly brought this story to mind, for various reasons.  He's also brought to my mind the question of hidden sin.  Just as regularly as we spend time in prayer interceding for others and praising God, we should also be asking Him to reveal sin in our lives.  This is something too often we neglect to do as Christians.  This is something I've not been disciplined to do, either.  Yet, it's what God expects, nonetheless.

The verse for this week says a person who conceals sin does not prosper.  It goes on to say that if we confess our sin and renounce it, we will find mercy.  Maybe you're not concealing sin, like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup kind of sin, but do you have unconfessed sin in your life?  When is the last time you've asked the Lord to show you what cancerous sin areas He wants to carve away?  The verse says we should renounce our sin.  That means to turn from it! 

I challenge you to make a list of sins.  If you're having trouble thinking of any, you can find some in Colossians 3:7-8.  Are any of these present in your life:  anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, lies?  Later in the chapter, Paul tells us to have compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love.  Those are character qualities Christ commands, and if they aren't present, then that's sin, too.  Think of the fruits of the Spirit, found in Galatians 5:22-23.  What is the antithesis of those things mentioned?

I'll be honest, my first reaction to a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup in the past has been nothing short of lust, but I'm hoping to change that now.  I hope the next time you see a Reese's Cup, you'll use it as a reminder for self-examination.  To grow closer in our walk with the Lord, we must have regular times of confession, admitting the sin.  Then we must also renounce the sin and turn from it. 

Confession and renouncing sin can be painful and raw.  I admit it, it's not easy seeing the ugly truth about yourself...the truth you try to hide from everyone...the truth you don't want anyone to see.  The end result, however, is being conformed to God's image.  I don't know about you, but that is my end goal, no matter how hard it hurts.  That's what matters in life, becoming more like Christ.  It's my prayer for each of you this week that you will set aside time for prayer focusing on confession of sins.

Be sure your sin will find you out.  Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, anyone?

 

 

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

"Do-Over" - God gives second chances...Jonah Chapter three

My mom is perhaps the fairest grandma in the world.  She also has the gift of giving (or maybe that's buying...)  If it's on sale, she'll buy it and store it up for a good gift.  She has five grandsons and one granddaughter from two of her three boys and me.  If she bought one t-shirt for a grandchild, she bought six, all in different colors.  If she bought an alarm clock for one, she would buy one for all six grandchildren.  A mistake, perhaps, but it was only out of love that she did this.  She wanted to be the best grandma she could be, and with six grandchildren, the last thing she would want is to play favorites...or to be accused of having favorites!

However, one day I had to have a sit down with her.  "You have to love them the way they need to be loved, mom.  You can't just give cookie-cutter gifts and expect them to love everything you give them.  Take some time and only offer things that you think they will really like...things that will mean something special to them.  They don't care about receiving things...They only care if you took the time to really know them for who they are...It's the thought that goes behind the gift, not the gift itself.  Then what you give and do for them will be appreciated more, and they'll appreciate you more.  They would rather you not give them anything at all instead of something without meaning."

OK, the conversation was much more in depth than that, seasoned with words of love, and believe you me, I prayed and prayed before having that difficult conversation with my mom.  I didn't know if she would be offended or how she would take it, but I knew it had to be said.  The relationship between my kids (specifically Amber) and my mom was deteriorating, especially since they saw her only a few times a year, at best.  My mom's constant attempts to show her love with gift giving weren't being received in the way she intended.  In fact, it was creating a wedge between them.

My mom received well what I said, and the next time she saw Amber, she sat down with her one on one.   "Can Gram have a do-over?"  She asked her for forgiveness, and she then started down a road of re-building their Gram-Am relationship. 

Well, as I read in Jonah chapter three today, I see the same thing.  God gave Jonah a "do-over."  My God is a God of second chances, not just for Jonah, but for the people of Nineveh, too!

Jonah 3
1) Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time.
2) "Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you."
3) Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh.  Now Nineveh was a very important city - a visit required three days.
4) On the first day, Jonah started into the city.  He proclaimed, "Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned."
5) The Ninevites believed God.  They declared a fast, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth.
6) When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust.
7) Then he issued a proclamation in Nineveh:  "By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything: do not let them eat or drink.
8) But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth.  Let everyone call urgently on God.  Let them give up their evil ways and their violence.
9) Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish."
10) When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction He had threatened.

I love verse one.  Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time.  How many times is that true in our lives?  How many times does God speak to us about an area in our life.  We listen.  We nod.  Then like Jonah, we run the other way.  Maybe not blatantly run the other way, but eventually we find ourselves far from where He's called us or asked us to be.  Sometimes God nudges us; sometimes He slaps us with the Truth...not just once, but over and over.  Yes, my God is a God of second chances (and thirds and fourths), and I'm so glad He is. 

He is faithful.  He lets me ask for a do-over.  He forgives, and He restores.  Think about the Ninevites.  They were wicked people.  In Jonah's mind, they did not deserve God's forgiveness or mercy.  Yet, the power of God is so strong that they believed.  Imagine the whole city coming to faith in God?  That's exactly what happened, and it was the last thing Jonah ever expected.

Repentance is not just saying you're sorry or even acknowledging you've done something wrong.  It's not a passive verb.  To repent is to turn the other way.  The Ninevites didn't just believe the message Jonah proclaimed, they took action to change their ways.  They heard the prophet proclaim that God was going to overturn the city in forty days.  They believed.  They repented.  And they changed.  God granted them a do-over.

I wonder if we simply spoke up more about the Gospel, what would people's reactions really be?  Sure, it was nothing less than a miracle for the entire wicked city of Nineveh to come to Christ, yet God used one man to proclaim the message.  A man who didn't really even want them to believe.  We have too many closet Christians, afraid to go, afraid to tell.  Maybe we're like Jonah - we think that a particular people group just won't ever change.  Maybe we feel ill-equipped to tell others.  Maybe we're just not 'comfortable' sharing Christ with people we know.  As I think about Jonah, do you think he was really 'comfortable' sharing this Message with his arch-enemy?  I doubt it, yet he was obedient.

Yes, God gave the people of Nineveh a do-over.  He had compassion on them because they turned from their evil ways.  In fact, Matthew 12:39-41 says in the judgment, the men of Nineveh will stand up and condemn the Israelites for their failure to repent.  I wonder if they will also condemn other nations, even this great nation that we live in?  I'm not sure, but I do know that the same God who gave Nineveh the do-over is the same One who offers do-overs to me.  I hope He doesn't have to threaten to destroy my city to get me to repent the next time, but I'm thankful for the mercy He shows me.

Help me Lord to listen more and act on my own less.  Help me to obey the first time; I don't want to take advantage of your offer for a do-over, but I'm thankful you offer forgiveness when we repent.  Thank you for second chances.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Judas...Peter...and Me

Judas.  Not a name listed near the top of the most popular baby names.  Aside from the rock band Judas Priest, I don't know of anyone else with that name.  Variations, maybe, but still an unlikely choice for expecting parents.

I've been reading in the Gospels the last few weeks, and this morning I can't seem to get Judas Iscariot and Peter's denial of Christ out of my mind.  I have so many random thoughts about this right now...perhaps I'm in need of some ADD medicine to sort them all out.  I unfortunately have none prescribed to me, so coffee will have to do.

First, Jesus chose Judas Iscariot as one of His twelve disciples.  Yes, even though Jesus knew the decision Judas would ultimately make, Jesus wanted Him to be a disciple.  I Peter 3:9 says "the Lord is not willing for any to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."  Jesus chose Judas.  And Jesus chooses everyone.  He died for the world, and if you're part of the world, then He died for you.  How many millions of people throughout history have rejected Christ as Lord, just like Judas?  How many millions of people today know about Christ, but they do not choose to make a commitment for Him.

Then I think of Judas' free choice to commit the acts he did.  Out of greed, selfish ambition, frustration, or perhaps we'll never know, but Judas chose to turn Jesus over for thirty pieces of silver.  (Mark 14:10)  Of course Jesus knew the ultimate plan, but Judas acted on his own free will.  God didn't make him do it so he could be a puppet in the historical plan.  God never forces us against our will.  That's one thing I love about Christianity.  Some people think it's a bunch of rules to follow.  I believe it's just the opposite.  I have such joy and freedom in my life because of my relationship with Jesus Christ.   

I often wonder how Judas could be part of the twelve, daily walk with Jesus, yet not realize He was the Christ, the Promised One.  From what I can tell through Scripture, Judas looked like a disciple.  He hung out with the disciples.  He ate at the Last Supper with the other disciples.  Yet, I don't think he ever truly realized who Jesus was.  The notes in my NIV Study Bible use the term an "uncommitted pretender."  I wonder how many Judas' we have around us.  People we think are followers of Christ because they hang with the right crowd.  Only God knows our hearts, but studying Judas definitely gives me pause to think.

It's easy to point the finger at Judas; after all, he's the one who betrayed Jesus.  Yet sometimes we forget every single one of those disciples deserted Jesus when He was taken out of the Garden.  Yes, Peter watched from a distance, but when recognized, he denied knowing Him...not once, but three times.  Peter likely figured if he was identified with Jesus then he would suffer the same painful consequences. 

Now, I consider myself a committed Christian, yet I often wonder what I would have done if I had been in Peter's shoes.  You see, I'm a big chicken when it comes to pain.  I avoid it at all costs; really, who doesn't?  If I have dental work done, even the slightest bit, I ask for extra gas.  I was mortified to learn a few years ago that I had to have a thyroid biopsy done with no pain medication...nothing to even calm me down.  Surprisingly, I made it through without a problem.  You see, I actually have a fairly high pain tolerance.  The problem is a big four letter word - FEAR.  It is what controls me in these situations.  Yes, Beth and Fear are not a good combination.  So as Christians, it's easy to point the finger at Peter or at those who abandoned Jesus.  I would like to think I wouldn't be with that crowd.  In my heart, I can purpose that I will take a stand for Christ no matter what the threat on my life is.  Peter said the same thing.  "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you."  (Mark 14:31)  But like Peter, until that point of reckoning comes, actions speak louder than words.

Back to Judas.  The Bible says he regretted what he had done.  He was so miserable with his actions that he tried to return the 30 pieces of silver.  He realized he had made a mistake...but it was too late to undo the wrong done.  In his own misery, he hung himself.  How I wish this story ended differently.  How I wish Judas had just waited three more days to see the truth in the situation.  Yes, Jesus would die, but three days later He would conquer sin and death.  How I wish Judas would have reconciled with Jesus before taking his life. 

How many times do we take similar actions as Judas?  No, we may not commit high treason and suicide, but we often realize we've made a huge mistake in our life.  But then, like Judas, we stop there.  We're miserable with the choices we've made.  Miserably depressed.  Why is it so hard to swallow our pride and go to the person we've wronged to ask for forgiveness?  Why don't we go to Jesus Christ and ask Him to forgive us for our actions?

In a sense, I pity Judas.  He experienced life with Christ, but he had no idea what it meant to live for Christ.  There's so many things to learn from this well known Bible story--so many parallels to life today and decisions we make.  This morning I'm praying for strength in times of fear.  I'm praying for boldness in times of confrontation.  I'm praying for reconciliation in broken relationships.  And I'm praying for salvation for those who are rejecting Christ, like Judas did.  No, I am not a Judas, but in this context, I don't want to be a Peter, either.  I just want to be the best faithful Beth, follower of Christ, I can be. 

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Monday Memory Verse – Colossians 4:5-6 “Please pass the salt!”

As I prayed about the next verse for our "Groupies4God" to learn, the Lord kept drawing me back to Colossians.  We now have over 300 members learning God's Word together, and I realize that some of you already have the verse that I've chosen memorized.  If that's the case, please search out another verse for the week and commit it to memory.  Stay with your commitment and keep memorizing!  It doesn't matter what version you choose to learn in, just be sure to follow through and have someone to hold you accountable.

Colossians 4:5-6  "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

Be wise in the way we act toward outsiders...
As I studied this week, this phrase just jumped out at me.  What is an outsider?  Simply put, someone who does not belong to a particular group.  In this case, the Bible refers to an "outsider" as a person who is without Christ.  It refers to any person who has never made a commitment to put their faith and trust in Jesus Christ...someone who is not a Christian--a Christ-follower. 

Unfortunately, today's society has watered down the meaning of what a Christian is.  There are a lot of people out there who believe there is a God...so they call themselves a Christian.  We have to be careful to discern good people from Godly people, especially in relation to this verse.  I know a lot of "good" people.  But being "good" doesn't get you to heaven.  It's only by having a relationship with Jesus.  By telling Him you believe He came to earth, died, was buried, and rose again.  When He rose from the dead, He conquered sin and death and made a way for us to get to heaven.  And it's only when you ask Him to come into your life and forgive you of your sins and save you...when you ask Him to take control and start a relationship with Him that you actually become a Christian.  When you've made that commitment, you're no longer an 'outsider' to God.  I have had conversations with people who know what the Bible teaches, and sometimes they just assume that because someone goes to a particular church or is part of a denomination that they are a Christian.  It's not about a religion, though.  It's about a relationship with Jesus.  "Outsiders" surround us on a daily basis.  In order to study this verse, I think we have to look first at what an outsider is, ask God to show you at least one in your circle of friends, and then try to understand the application of rest of the verse.

The book of Colossians was written by Paul.  The first two chapters deal mostly with what Christ did for us.  The second half of the book deals mostly with what Christians should do.  It gives instruction for daily living.  So when Paul says to 'be wise in the way we act toward outsiders' it makes me pause.  If I am not careful in how I represent Christ to those around me, I bring shame to God.  Have you ever noticed that Christians today are under the media microscope?  How many times have you heard someone say, "And they're supposed to be a Christian!"  Of course, my life needs to be consistent when dealing with Christians and non Christians alike, but it seems that non-Christians look at Christians through a magnifying glass.  They want to see if we are living out in our lives what they think a Christian should look like.  As we make choices in our actions, it's important to filter those choices through what God would want for us.  Am I going to choose to lose my temper at the lack of customer service I'm experiencing?  Am I going to complain to my boss about another employee because it makes me look better?  Am I going to guard the words that come out of my mouth, to be sure they will always bring honor to God?  The Bible says we need to be wise in our actions.

...make the most of every opportunity
The opportunity this is talking about is the opportunity to tell others about God.  I have 5 people on my prayer list right now that are 'outsiders.'  My relationship with each of them is different, and my contact with them varies.  But with each of them, I have an opportunity to reflect God working in my life in some degree or fashion.  But if I am not looking for an opportunity, then I will probably miss it.  My pastor recently preached on "Missed Opportunities" from the story of David and Barzillai in 2 Samuel 19.  He had some of the most simple but powerful points. 

1.  If you're looking for an excuse, you'll always find one. 
2.  Opportunity is not about what you've done, but what we can or are about to do.
3.  An opportunity passed always remains a question mark in this lifetime.
4.  God's opportunities never go unfulfilled.
5.  God always wants us to go farther with Him.
 
For me, I'm challenged as I write this that not only do I need to be praying for those 'outsiders' on my list each day, but I need to be praying that God would show me opportunities to invite them in to the family of God.  I may never know (in this lifetime) how my actions have positively or negatively affected someone's views of God.  My choices very well could influence another person's eternity.

Let your conversation be always full of grace...
How many times have you seen the media interview a Christian about a particular 'hot topic' and the Christian ends up enraged while defending his beliefs.  I've seen it happen too often.  I have watched in disgust at how they were given the opportunity to be an ambassador for Christ, but instead brought shame to Him.  I believe that is what this verse is talking about.  When we tell others about Christ, it's important to always be gracious in what we say.  No matter how good the Message is that we are trying to get across, if we don't deliver it in a courteous way, it loses its effectiveness.

Part of my job used to be teaching customer service skills to my staff.  The people in the office didn't realize it, but I always tried to apply this verse to what I was teaching them.  If any employee chooses the wrong words to say to a customer, they could be fired.  Yet, how many times do we choose to use inappropriate conversation with others--whether it's gossip, a slip of an occasional bad word, or just blatant loss of temper?  The Bible says in Psalm 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord."  I have to let God do the work in my heart, and if that happens, the words that come out of my mouth will more likely be what He wants me to say.  I'm so thankful God doesn't fire us when we mess up!  We have a clause in our contract that says "no one can pluck us out of His hand!"  When me mess up, we only need to ask Him to forgive us, and He gladly does.

...seasoned with salt...
I love this phrase.  Like probably most kids, my son Jacob hates vegetables, yet we make him eat some every day.  Sometimes the taste is so overwhelming to him that he cries out, "Can I at least put some salt on this?"  What does salt do?  It adds flavor.  It makes something tasty.  I love the verse in Psalm 34:8 "O taste and see that the Lord is good!"  How are people going to taste and see that God is good unless we make him attractive?  Salt not only adds flavor, but it is a preservative that makes you thirsty.  Wouldn't it be awesome if our speech and actions made someone thirst for God?

...so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Why should we have the right kind of conversation and take the opportunities before us?  So that we can have the right response to everyone.  Now, that's a pretty hard task.  But if our conversation is seasoned with salt, it should encourage further dialog about Christ.  We may not necessarily have all the answers.  But the more we study God's Word and allow Him to penetrate us, the more answers we will be able to provide. 

So today, I'm asking God to not only help me memorize these verses this week but to really apply them.   I'm praying for wisdom and for seasoned conversation!  I'm asking Him to open my eyes to more opportunities to tell others about Him. I'm asking Him to dig deeper into my life.  I know He can't do that unless I have soft enough soil for him to dig, and that starts with my willingness to let Him change me from the inside out.  Please pass the salt, Lord!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Integrity...It's on my bucket list...

As I read about David this morning, a phrase jumped out at me in Psalm 78:72.  It was talking about David as he cared for his sheep and it says:  'he fed them according to the integrity of his heart.'  Integrity.  I know David had it at one time, then when he sinned with Bathsheba, he lost it.  He got tripped up by the devil, in a big way.  Yet, even with a black mark on his character, the Bible still refers to him as a 'man after God' own heart.' 

So this morning, I started to think about the word integrity.  I found some interesting definitions.  An undivided or unbroken completeness.  Steadfast adherence to a strict moral code.  The state of being unimpaired; soundness.  The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

Probably like you, I care about what people think of me.  I admittedly am a people pleaser, but I usually will draw the line when pleasing people conflicts with what God is telling me to do.  I work hard to be consistent in my character, and integrity is something I want people to say that I have. 

But, have you ever had a time in your life where you have had to eat humble pie?  A time when everything you have worked for has come crashing down?  Earlier this year, I seemingly ruined in a split second my entire reputation with my daughter Amber's school.  (I will preface this by saying that I was on some major headache medicine, and it definitely altered my judgment, but I still had to take responsibility for my actions.) 

I confronted a teacher via email on what I thought were some inconsistencies in her grading.  Her response (from a medicated parent's point of view) was unacceptable.  Instead of guarding my reputation, praying about the next step, or just dropping ‘the battle’, what did I do?  I forwarded her email to another parent, who had the same problem with the teacher.  In it, I slammed the teacher and put some pretty negative labels on her.  By accident, that parent forwarded my email directly to the teacher with her own complaints in it, cc'ing me. 

When I opened my friend's email to the teacher and noticed what she had innocently done, can you imagine my devastation?  Not only was I confronted with my sin of being a talebearer, but I was hit in the face with the fact that my reputation was destroyed.  The damage had been done.  I couldn’t fix it.  I was broken.  I knew I had not only hurt my reputation by my actions, but more so, I knew I hurt the reputation of the One who I represent.

The principal got involved, and it was all a complete and utter mess, as Simon Cowell would say.  All I could do was admit I was wrong and ask for forgiveness.  I took responsibility for my actions, and I had to start from scratch on building my reputation again.  I could have blamed my actions on the medicine.  I could have tried to explain my irrational behavior.  But, when you blame the situation on something else, that’s not taking responsibility, and I knew that.

Integrity.  In a split second, I lost mine.  I acted in the flesh, and it all went downhill from there.  In hindsight, I know if I had been talking to God about the situation instead of my silly friend who is not well-versed in how to run e-mail programs, then I certainly would not have been in the situation I was in.

When you think of David, what’s one of the top stories that come into your mind?  Killing Goliath maybe ranks as the #1 answer if you ask a child.  But I dare say that most adults who know the life stories of David think first of his sin with Bathsheba.  In a split second, his public integrity was gone.  (Although we can reasonably argue that his integrity started to fade the moment he let the temptation of sin take root in his life!)

David buried the sin so deep and tried to cover it up in several ways.  You know, the more we try to hide our sin, the harder it is to admit it when we finally get ‘caught’?  I'm thinking "You da man!" is not what David wanted to hear from Nathan the prophet.  It took Nathan's finger pointing for David to confront his own sin.  He did finally ‘come clean.’  He prayed and asked for forgiveness.  He said “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”  Yet, the Bible still refers to David as a ‘man after God’s own heart.’  I am so thankful we have a God who forgives.  He is faithful.  All I have to do is ask  Him!  When I repent, like David, he washes me clean, and he restores me.

So how do I guard my reputation?  How do I build integrity in my life?  Look back to the definition.  Steadfast adherence to a strict moral code.  We have the moral code of ethics in God’s word.  We just have to study it…to internalize it!  That's just another reason why I am committed to memorizing a verse of Scripture each week.  Psalm 119 says "Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee!"  

The state of being unimpaired.  I can have integrity by being unimpaired...by sin, medicine, and the influence of others.  How often do I let others influence my decisions in life instead of letting God lead me?  Probably more than I even realize.

And finally, the quality or condition of being whole or undivided.  The only way I can be ‘undivided’ is by not letting sin take root in my life.  It's only when I put my eyes on the goal and don't go to the left or to the right...just straight where He wants me to go...that I can truly serve God.

Psalm 26:1 says “Judge me, O Lord, for I have walked in mine integrity.  I have trusted also in the Lord; therefore I shall not slide.”

No one is perfect.  We all make mistakes.  Having integrity doesn't mean you're without sin.  It’s how we confront the mistakes in our life that builds integrity.  When I trust God for decisions, even the simple every-day ones like e-mailing a teacher, I won’t slide.  (Proverbs 3:5-6)   It's then that I will have a single-hearted devotion. 

Integrity.  It's on my 'bucket list.'  How about you?

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Free to forgive...

I think it's safe to say that we are who we are today, in part, because of our past.  Now, I'm not saying we are slaves to our past, but what happened to us throughout our lives has shaped us into the person we are today.  The decisions we make today are either because we've not broken free from our past or we make decisions to be the kind of person we are today because we don't want to be like we were in the past. 

I was challenged this morning in my quiet time to dialog with God.  Not just pray, but listen to what He has to say about my past, especially in the area of forgiveness.  Now, I am a confrontational person; I like to think it's a strength of mine.  I can't stand for conflict to take root in my life and not be resolved.  But this morning I asked God to show me if I needed to forgive anyone in my life, and if I needed to ask forgiveness of anyone.  I asked God to dig deep into what I've buried, deeper than I wanted to go.  Deeper than I've allowed my thoughts to visit in a long time.

God showed me a situation that happened long ago, and He convicted me that I have let it shape who I am today.  At this point, I can't go confront the person, he is no longer alive.  But, I can choose to forgive.  I can choose to no longer be gripped by the pain of the past.  I can choose to allow Christ to heal the scars in my life, and like a Potter, mold me into the creation He wants me to be.  (Isaiah 64:8)  I made the choice.

It doesn't matter how badly a person has hurt you.  When Jesus died on the cross, what were some of His last words? "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."  When people hurt us, sometimes they have no idea how deep the wounds go.  Yet, Christ, in all His glory, came to earth and suffered a terrible death for you and me so we could have forgiveness.  Those wounds went pretty deep, wouldn't you say?  He still has the scars in his hands to prove it.  With that perspective, I'm convicted that there's nothing so bad in my past that I can't forgive the offender.  Jesus died for that person, too.

The Bible says to 'put off' bitterness.  It says in Matthew 6:12 that we should ask God to forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  Remember the parable in the Bible of the master who forgave the debts of his servant?  What did that servant do?  Instead of going to the people who owed him money and forgiving their debts, he went and tried to collect.  When we harbor bitterness, it's just like holding on to the debts that people owe us. 

God is telling me today that I have to make the choice to forgive, once and for all.  I can't do it without His help.  It's painful...to let go of those angry feelings, especially when I've held on to them for so long.  I'm still going to have the scars from the past, but it's only when I let go of the bitterness that God can move in and heal.  This morning, I've made the decision.  It's a done deal, and I'm not looking back. 

I am free to forgive!

I love this song by the Newsboys...I Am Free!

Through You the blind will see
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise
Through You all hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams, I am free!

I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for you
(I am free to live for you)
I am free
(I am free)

Chorus:
I am free
I am free
I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for you
(I am free to live for you
I am free
(I am free)
Yes I am free

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com