GodandMe2theMax

Taste and See...Food for Thought

 PEANUT BUTTER BROWNIES

If you're on Facebook or Pinetrest and you're a "foodie" like me, then you're also likely exposed to pictures like the one above, followed by a recipe.  It only takes one look.  One look and "I know I gotta try it" or "I know I'll never try it!"  One look, and I can taste it; my mouth begins the salivating process. I must admit, I only try the ones that look easy and have pictures that carry calories just by glancing at them.  Anything with more than a handful of ingredients or steps to the final task are ones that I avoid at all costs.  I'm lazy like that.  Guilty as charged.

How true it is that we make decisions every day driven by our senses.  As I read in Psalms this morning, I noticed an interesting order given by David.  I don't know about you, but like the picture above, my brain sees something, and then I decide if I want to taste it.  I don't think I'd do too well in those blind taste-tests.  I like to know what I'm getting into, and I can usually tell by the looks of something whether it's for me or not.  I'm rarely suprised.

But look at Psalm 34:8:

 "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."  

Do you notice that the order is reversed?  We can't see God; the only way to "see Him" is to taste Him first.  We have to take a step of faith first.  Checking out God's character and love for yourself is almost like one of those blind taste tests.  Maybe that's why so many people refuse Him.  They think God is some kind of liver and onions dish with a side of brussels sprouts meal that is most definitely not for them.  All they see of God's character is the negative reflection portrayed in the media, or worse yet, the negative image portrayed by His people, the so-called Christians.  They don't realize that what He offers is so much more.  

Why?  Because they don't take that step of faith to taste Him for themselves.  What God offers to us is an ongoing relationship that should make our heart salivate at just the thought of spending time with Him.  He offers a love affair that can go deeper than your deepest love affair with your favorite food.  

If you know me at all, you will also know that the combined taste of chocolate and peanut butter is one of my favorite things in the world (earlier blog about that can be found at this link: (http://godandme2themax.typepad.com/godandme2themax/2010/11/be-sure-your-sins-will-find-you-outproverbs-2813.html).   I admittedly have a love-affair going with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.  Guilty again.

But this morning as I really contemplated this verse that I've read a hundred times, sang in countless songs, and memorized years ago, I'm asking God to stir in me the same love affair for Him.  I want that same emotion and longing for Him that the occurs when I see that famous orange wrapper.  But I want that to happen at just the thought or mention of His name.  I want to long for Him and let Him drive my emotions, not an image of a favorite food.

If you've never tasted God - I mean really experienced what it's like to have a life-changing relationship with Him, please message me.  Don't be afraid to dive in to that faith-filled taste-test.  What He offers is so much better than any calorie filled dessert you see on Facebook or Pinterest.  To quote that old Life Cereal commercial (yes, I'm showing my age again) - "Try it (Him), you'll like it (Him)!"  When you really taste Him, you will see how good He is.

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

PS - Here's the recipe for the Peanut Butter Brownies

Ingredients:
1 box of your favorite brownie mix
1/2- 1- cup peanut butter chips
1/2-1- cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray AND grease 40 mini-muffin cups.

Prepare boxed brownie mix as directed. Spoon batter evenly into mini muffin cups ( 1/2 to 1 heaping teaspoon). Bake for 13-15 minutes or until top is set and a toothpick inserted into center comes out slightly wet. After brownies are out of the oven, wait for centers to fall. This will happen upon cooling. If not then tap the centers with the back of a teaspoon to make a hole for the peanut butter.

Place peanut butter in a small microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on high for 35 seconds then stir. While brownies are still warm spoon about half a teaspoon of peanut butter into the center of each brownie. Top with semi-sweet chocolate chips and peanut butter chips. Cool completely in pan. Go around edge of brownies with a sharp knife and they should pop right out.

 

Why did I go to Zambia? To rescue one. Meet Ireen Phiri.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will comfort you and watch over you."  
Psalm 32:8

Word of warning: This blog is not for the faint at heart.  And if you don't think you can do what God might ask you to do, then maybe it's best you stop right here and not read on.  And another word of warning, try as I might to keep this concise, I have once again failed miserably.  However, this story is too important to leave out the details, too compelling to not articulate every word.  Read on at the risk of a broken heart for orphans.

In case you missed my last blog, I talked about how important it is for the children in Zambia to get an education, and I posted a video that paralels the lives of two girls growing up in Africa, one with an education and one without.  If you missed it, scroll down to the blog below to watch the short, powerful video.  It's an eye-opener, for sure.

I also mentioned how God is using the ministry we worked with in Zambia - Family Legacy Ministries International (www.familylegacy.com) - to radically change the ability for the orphan child to be educated in Zambia through their Father's Heart Program. If you're familiar with organizations like "Compassion International" or other "sponsor the child" programs, Family Legacy's "Father's Heart" program is similar in structure, but the schools that most of the chilren get to attend are Christian Schools (Lifeway Christian Academies), run by the ministry.  In fact, the ministry is now the largest private provider of education in the entire country of Zambia!  The children are not only getting a top-notch education at a low teacher-student ratio compared to government schools, but they are participating in a top-notched Christian discipleship program as well.  This includes Biblical lessons on relationships, Christian character, and life skills.  On top of all that, the children receive 1 meal a day at school, and with good attendance, extra "blessings" of food are given to the caregivers of the child at their home.  Yes, the Father's Heart Sponsorship program is comprehensive, and if you're interested, you can sponsor one of the girls still needing sponsored that Amber and I led during our week of CAMP LIFE.  Look for the link toward the bottom of this blog to learn more!

Since I returned from Zambia on July 14th, I have slept through the night only twice.  Jet lag?  No.  In fact, I really didn't even experience jet lag.  My first night home, and nearly every night thereafter, I stayed up later and was up in the morning before the rest of my family.  No, jet lag is not the problem. My "problem" is a girl named Ireen, who lives in the compound of Chainda.  The Lord has woken me up nearly every night telling me to pray for her.  I cannot sleep, and I cannot rest.  I've told some of you bits and pieces, but let me tell you Ireen's story, here and now.

On Tuesday afternoon of CAMP LIFE, I had already had my one-on-on "Blessing TIme" with Nephie and Catherine.  (See the previous blog if you missed Nephie and Catherine's stories!)  We had time for one more, and so Magdalene, my Zambian partner and translator, called over 12 year old Ireen to come sit and talk with us.  

Without even knowing her story or background, I could tell Ireen didn't have a good home life.  She was probably the dirtiest girl in my group.  She didn't smell, mind you, not one bit.  But her hair looked like it was braided months ago and then left untouched since, her skin was dehydrated, and her eyelashes were long and mangled together with dirt.  

I started the conversation with some simple questions.  How old are you?  Do you know your birthday? Who do you live with?  But I could tell the conversation that started very light had quickly turned very serious.  As Ireen spoke in Nyanga (the native language in Zambia) with Magdalene, tears flowed down her face.  I saw Magdalene take Ireen by the chin and look closely at her face.  Then Magdalene turned to me to tell me Ireen's story.

Ireen is a double orphan.  She has a little 4 year old brother Nicholas, and her mom died after her brother was born.  Ireen's dad then re-married, but after that, he passed away, too, leaving Ireen with her step-mom.  If you're familiar with the fairy tale Cinderella, well then you can likely guess some of Ireen's story.  But even Cinderella didn't experience or endure what Ireen is currently living.

You see, Ireen's step-mom has her own kids as well, just like Cinderella's step-mom.  So when there is food for the family, the food goes to the step-mom and Ireen's step-siblings, leaving Ireen and Nicholas to go hungry.  On most days, they go without food, getting only one meal every few days, at best.  And school?  Sure, the step-siblings get to go to school, but Ireen?  Well, she gets to stay at home and do chores all day.  

Yes, this story of no education and little food is all too common in the life of an African orphan child. Ireen's story is similar to untold others.  But there was one thing I noticed about Ireen the first time I met her.  You see, she had scars on her face.  I just assumed it was from an accident of some sort.  But on Tuesday, she had fresh wounds both on her cheek and up near her ear, both areas still red with blood.  Another part of her ear looked nearly infected.

During our "Blessing Time," Ireen told us that her step-sister had stolen some money from her step-mom.  Instead of punishing her own child, the step-mom took it out on Ireen.  She trapped her down on the ground and sliced up her face with the prongs of a fork.  As I heard this story and witnessed the wounds, I realized this was not the first time a simple kitchen fork had been used as a weapon on her sweet face.  The rest of the scars I had noticed earlier...those were not the result of an accident, as I had originally assumed.  No, they were intentional abuse.  Repeat abuse.

What do you say to a child who has experienced something like this?  It's hard enough to lose both your mom and dad at an early age, but to have to grow up being unloved is a whole other story.  As we tried to finish our "Blessing Time", and as I tried to learn as much as I could about Ireen's situation, I just silently prayed for God to give me words to say that will somehow comfort Ireen.  We finished our "Blessing Time" by praying over her, and somewhwere in the midst of the tears of our time together, I learned that like Catherine, Ireen had accepted Christ the day before during our "Small Group" time. Once again, the Lord nudged me, "Oh ye of little faith!"  

After we finished talking and praying, Magdalene and I clung to Ireen and walked her up to where the mobile nurse's station was located at CAMP LIFE, so she could get some medical attention for the wouunds that were dirty and at risk for infection.

  

Later in the week, on Thursday, Ireen let me take these pictures of her scars to document the situation.

As a mom, I cannot fathom how any person who calls themself a mother would hurt another child like this, but this one thing I did know: God sent me to Zambia for Ireen.  He has yet to show me what all that entails, but I know God had put Ireen in my care that week so she could be rescued.  Rescued to live a life free from abuse; rescued to have an education; rescued to know what it means to live freely in Christ Jesus, rescued to know that someone loves her.  

You see, not only does Family Legacy have the Father's Heart sponsorship program that I mentioned earlier, they also have something called "The Tree of LIfe Village."  Children who live at the "Tree of LIfe" are children, just like Ireen, who were in desperately terrible situations of abuse or neglect.  After an investigation is done by CPU (the government's Child Protection Unit), if a child is deemed to be in a situation of extreme neglect or abuse, then the government can place them in the full time care of Family Legacy, and eventually, they can go live at the Tree of Life Village.  But did you catch the "if" part of that?  The government has to deem it necessary (and there is a lot of corruption in the government), and for that to happen, a case must be filed, a $100 fee paid to start the investigation, and perhaps most importantly, a sponsor for Ireen's full time care at the Tree of LIfe Village must be found.

As I spoke to staff members at Family Legacy about Ireen's situation, it was apparent that the most important thing was to find a sponsor for Ireen, but as I learned, if CPU sees fit to remove her from the home, they will also remove her little brother Nicholas.  (That means double sponsorship would be needed, both for Ireen and Nicholas.)  To complete the paperwork and even start an abuse report, I also needed to commit to Ireen's sponsorhip myself or at least commit to sponsor her until I can find another sponsor.  

And that, my friends, is what left me immobile.  

Immobile because in spite of my heart's longing to sponsor Ireen and rescue her, I knew I could not sign a paper of financial commitment like that.  To sponsor a child at the Tree of Life, it's $250/month per child, plus the $100 fee required just for CPU to begin the investigation.  

Some have mentioned to me that they think that's a high amount, but in reality, it is not.  That covers all education needs, food, clothing, medical needs, counseling, and allows for the child to be raised in a loving and safe Christian home with 11 other children.  This is not an "orphanage."  This is not even a "house".  This is the opportunity to grow up in a Christian HOME where love abounds.  Many of the children at the Tree of Life Village are HIV positive and have other serious illneses.  With Family Legacy's sponsorship programs, only 6% is deemed as "overhead" compared to some ministries and sponsorship programs that are 20% or even higher.  $3000/year is a small price to pay to rescue a child like Ireen, don't you think?

But for me, knowing our family's current financial situation, knowing that we are actively raising money just to not go in the hole each month, that $250/month might as well have been $300,000. 

I texted my husband about Ireen.  "What should I do about filling out this report?  I know we can't commit to the Tree of Life Sponsorship, but what can we do?"  I asked him.  He just responded, "We need to pray about it."  Then he quickly reminded me that I shouldn't make decisions in the heat of emotions.  Yes, I knew that, but he didn't quite understand the urgency of the situation, or so I thought. Honestly, I got more than a little ticked at him that Tuesday night.  But the truth is, there wasn't a whole lot that we could do at that point, except to pray and ask God for wisdom.  

As we texted back and forth, he reminded me to pray that Ireen's step-mom would come to know the Lord.  He said, "That's the answer. Then all Ireen will need is the Father's Heart sponsorship, and if her step-mom gets saved and changes, she won't need removed from the home."  We began to pray for that to come true; I knew God could do it, and I started to get excited about the change that might be coming for Ireen.  You see, on Thursday of CAMP LIFE, I would get to go into the compound of Chainda, and "my girls" would be able to share the Gospel with people in their own community and with their own family members.  I began to pray that we would have the opportunity to visit Ireen's home.  In my mind, I tried to picture her and role play what a conversation might look like.  I thought of a few ungodly things to say to her, too, but hey, this was just role play, not real life!  I figured I better get those thoughts out before they actually came out of my big mouth, unchecked!)  I posted the situation on facebook, and many people around the country began praying for her step-mom's salvation.

I cried myself to sleep Tuesday night, although I'm not sure you could call what I experienced "sleep."  I cried for Ireen.  For the pain she's had to go through.  For her safety.  And I cried for help from God. Help to know what to do.  To know how to handle the situation. And for God to somehow save Ireen's step-mom or provide a way for Ireen and her little brother to go live at the Tree of Life Village, if that was His will for her and Nicholas.  The one verse God kept bringing to my mind over and over was one I memorized a few years ago.  It has two parts to it, and I started claiming the first part for me and the 2nd part for Ireen:  "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will comfort you and watch over you."

As I prayed about what to do, God just kept telling me to trust Him.  I wasn't sure that He wanted me to fill out that abuse form at that point, mainly because I wasn't sure what He was telling me to do about the obligation for financial commitment.  But God just kept telling me this one thing:  that "He will instruct me and teach me in the way I should go."  And as I prayed for Ireen's safety, He assured me that "He would comfort her and watch over her."  

Wednesday of CAMP LIFE came, and I could hardly wait to see Ireen.  "Are you safe?" I said.  She shook her head and answered in English "Yes,"  Then I hugged her and with tears in my eyes told her I loved her.  Somehow between Monday and Wednesday, this dirty little girl with mangled eyelashes became one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen.  She didn't have a bath, and nothing in her physical manner changed at all.  Nothing.  In fact, I'm not even sure she changed her clothes.  But I had changed.  God had changed me.  He allowed me to love her the way He loves her, just like "Uncle Greer" asked us to pray at the beginning of the week.

I tried not to show favoritism with Ireen.  I held hands as I walked throughout the day with the others, too.  (That's what you do over there in Zambia, you know.  You just walk hand-in-hand because you love each other.  Even the adults do it!)  But I must be honest, I slipped Ireen my apple every day, so she could take it home to feed her little brother. Truth be told, I saw some of the other girls doing the same thing.  They seemed to understand how bad the situation was for Ireen, much worse than even their own orphaned stories.

By the time Thursday arrived, I could hardly wait to get to Chainda to talk with Ireen's step-mom.  But that divine appointment was not going to happen.  It turned out that Ireen lived on the far outskirts of the compound, and we weren't able to go to her home to share the Gospel.  My heart sunk.  "What now, God?  What am I supposed to do?  I can't sign that form to say I'm responsible for her sponsorship, and I can't NOT sign that form, because she needs to be protected - she's a child of Yours!"  

And He told me, "I'll instruct you and teach you in the way you should go."

  

This picture was taken on Thursday after the girls had shared the Gospel throughout their community of Chainda.

I took the abuse report back to the hotel Thursday night and prayed over it again.  God had told me that He would show me what to do, and He was faithful, as usual.  That night, I talked to the staff at Family Legacy and told them again about Ireen's situation.  I told them again that signing the form to commit to her sponsorship at the Tree of Life was just not an option for me and our family, but I would commit to finding a sponsor for her, should CPU allow her to be placed at the Tree of Life.  

"I will find a sponsor for her.  I have to."

Family Legacy agreed to let me turn in the form, based on my word to find a sponsor.  This is outside of the norm, but I know it was God-ordained.  Let me step up on my soapbox for one moment, please. One person told me they thought this was a bit manipulative of the ministry, not accepting the abuse report without someone signing up for the sponsorship.  After all, it's all about the children, not the money, right?  I want to set that straight, in case you are thinking the same thing.  There must be sponsorship guidelines in place for those who will go to live at the Tree of Life Village, because the needs of so many children are great. There are a whole lot more chidren who need rescued then spots available at the Tree of Life.  The primary way they can determine which children will be rescued is by sponsorship. There are some children who live at the Tree of Life Village currently who have lost their sponsorship (more on that in a later blog), and there are some children that the government has just "given" Family Legacy and told them to "take."  Sponsorship for these precious children is vital to their care, and if they took "everyone" they wouldn't be able to so superbly care for and minister to them all.  It would be more of an orphanage-type situation vs. a home.  So if you are a nay-sayer, please believe me when I say that $250/month for this full-time care is not an exorbitant amount and requesting the commitment to sponsor them is not a manipulative practice.  It's the most pratical approach, and it is working.  I saw it first hand, and I saw the kind of care and the joy experienced by these children who reside at the Tree of Life Village.  (Stepping down from my soapbox now.)

I had heard some of the others who had attended CAMP LIFE previously talk about what happens to the children once the CPU starts to investigate.  Some of them suffer even more abuse as a punishment for a report being filed.  I completed the form, but before I turned it in to the CPU agent who was at CAMP LIFE on Friday, I felt compelled to talk to Ireen about the consequences that may be endured for me filing the report.  She understood the "what ifs" and she agreed to my turning in the report.  That afternoon, truly in the last hours of CAMP LIFE, the CPU agent met with Ireen to start to document her situation.

By Friday, we were a very tight little group, and the girls were watching out for each other.  On their own, the girls had a time of prayer over Ireen.  My littlest girl, Memory, prayed that her step-mom would feed her, even if it's okra.  (Apparently okra is the "liver and onions" meal of Zambian children. They all told me they hate it with a passion!)  With that prayer, all the girls burst into laughter to the point of tears. We could always count on Memory for a laugh, that's for sure.

No longer did these girls hang their head in shame, thinking they were "no good, dirty and deserted orphans."  No.  By the end of the week, they had named themselves "Girls of Grace."  And I could see the change that God had done in each of their lives, but especially with Ireen.  In the midst of her situation at home, God had given her a peace and joy that is unexplainable unless you compare the pictures of her from the beginning of the week to the end.  She doesn't even look like the same girl, really.

These pictures were taken on Friday, the last day of CAMP LIFE.  Nehemiah 8:10 - The joy of the Lord is her strength!
Special thanks to my boss, Tim Childs at Raptim Travel, who sponsored this blanket for Ireen.  I have prayed more times than I can count that it will keep her and her brother warm, and her mom will not steal it from her. 

As I continued to text with my husband about the urgency of the situation, I asked him if I could leave $250 with the ministry to get things started for Ireen.  I felt like it was "ernest money", to show my commitment to help her and to help find a sponsor.  I had almost that exact amount of cash, and in my heart of hearts, I believed it needed to stay in Zambia and not go back to the USA with me.  He agreed, and I handed it over to Andrew Knight, who is the "man on the ground extraordinairre" in charge of sponsorship programs at Family Legacy.  The first $100 of the money was to be put toward opening the case with CPU, and the last $150 was to be determined, based on the results of the investigation.  If CPU would see fit to place her in the care of Family Legacy, then the remaining $150 would be put toward her first month of sponsorship at the Tree of Life.  But if CPU determined she was not able to be placed at the Tree of Life, then the remaining $150 could be put toward her Father's Heart sponsorship and enrollment fees for her education.  

So, where do I go from here?  Well, I don't know, exactly.  I'm still waiting on the outcome of the investigation.  In my heart of hearts, I believe CPU will decide to remove Ireen and her little brother Nicholas from the home.  However, the step-mom can fight that.  Then if there are any other family members around, they can claim "rights" to the children, and there can be a lengthy legal battle.  I hope I know something within a few weeks or sooner.

What I do know is that God sent me to Zambia to help Ireen.  I believe God won't let me sleep at night because I've not fulfilled my obligation to find sponsorship for her and her little brother.  If the CPU determines that she must stay living where she is, then I will commit to her Father's Heart sponsorship personally, so she can go back to school.  But if the CPU gives the go-ahead for her to be placed at the Tree of Life Village, then I wil not rest, I cannot rest, until every penny of her sponsorship (and Nicholas', too) is accounted for.  

This is a video of the children who currently reside at The Tree of Life Village.  Since it's hard to understand their English, here's what they sing:  "I'm 6 years old, and I'm still growing UP! I need wisdom and I need knowledge. The only choice is a better place. Tree of Life! Tree of Life! A blessing to the nat...ions. Tree of Life! Tree of Life! A blessing to the nations! The 2nd solo repeats the same words, then the whole group sings: "We are a blessing to the nations. We are happy at Tree of Life! We go to school and are still growing UP. I need wisdom, and I need knowledge. Tree of Life! Tree of Life! A blessing to the nations. Tree of Life! Tree of Life! A blessing to the nations!"

 

Yes, Amber and I each led a 10-girl group while in Lusaka.  Of those 20 girls, 5 of my girls and 6 of Amber's still need sponsored for their education and 1 meal a day through the Father's Heart program.

Our girls and the status of their sponsorship can be found at the links below:
https://web.familylegacy.com/give/ambassadors/6791 (Beth's girls)
https://web.familylegacy.com/give/ambassadors/6795 (Amber's girls)

But it's the sponsorship for Ireen that is the most heavy on my heart.  It's Ireen that God wakes me up at night to pray for.  It's Ireen who is suffering ongoing abuse, scars physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Out of our group of 20 girls, only Ireen is in a terrible situation of abuse and neglect.  I do believe she will be placed at the Tree of LIfe, and so I must plead with you to join me in the monthly sponsorship for her and Nicholas.

The other 10 that stil need sponsored would be through the Father's Heart program, and in God's eyes, they are just as important as Ireen.  The price of sponsorship varies in this program, depending on the age of the child, due to the mandated testing requirements of the government.  For children in grades 1-6, there is a 1-time $95 enrollment fee for school and then a $44/month commitment.  For children in grades 7-12, the sponsorship changes to $66/month and a $190/enrollment fee.  

Will you take some time to personally pray Psalm 32:8 in regards to sponsoring one of these girls?  Ask God to "instruct you and teach you the way you should go" and please, as a favor to me, will you ask God to "watch over Ireen and Nicholas and comfort them."  

He is faithful, and I know He will instruct you to make the right decision, and I know He is going to watch over Ireen and Nicholas until we can get them safely placed and sponsored at the Tree of Life Village.  No, I can't rescue them all, but I don't have to.  God sent me to Zambia to rescue one.  And her name is Ireen.

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

 

 

"Blessing Time"...Meet Nephie and Catherine

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  Psalm 147:3

"Blessing Time" was a scheduled part of CAMP LIFE each day.  This is when I could go spend one-on-one time with each girl, along with my Zambian partner Magdalene, of course. I'd heard others who had been to CAMP LIFE before say how this was their favorite part of the day, and I was anxious to get to know these girls a little better.

Education is key in bringing about change in the lives of these children, and as I said previously, that is a luxury that most of them are not able to afford.  Through Family Legacy's Father's Heart Sponsorship program, children are able to attend a Lifeway Christian Academy and receive one meal a day.  In addition to that, as an incentive for the child's good attendance, extra "blessings" of food are given to the caregivers at home.  You see, many families would rather keep the kids at home to do the work or take care of the other children.  Some of the situations are much like child/slave labor, and that's why the extra incentives have been built in for the caregivers.  

To sponsor a child through "The Father's Heart" program, for children in grades 1-6, there is a is a 1-time $95/enrollment fee for school and then a $44/month commitment.  For children in grades 7-12, the sponsorship changes to $66/month and a 1-time enrollment fee of $190.  The price differential is because of the additional testings that the government requires to take place for the older children.

This short video is very indicative of what I saw and what a difference an education can make.  Take some time to watch...

 

(If for some reason you cannot see the video, I also posted it on my facebook!  You can look there or message me, and I will send you a link!)

Over the course of the week, we had "Blessing Time" with all 10 girls, but Tuesday, we met with Nephie, Catherine, and Ireen.  I want to introduce you to each one, so you can pray for them specifically for them.

This is "Nephie".  Is she not just beautiful?  Just look at that sweet, innocent smile!  I think you'll find that I'm going to say almost that exact same thing about all my girls.  They are all so beautiful, and I would soon learn just how beautiful, inside and out!  

Her real name is Nephel Phiri, and Nephie is the one mentioned in the earlier blog who spelled her name wrong on the necklace, but "Nephie" just seemed to fit her well.  The last name of Phiri is a common name in Zambia, kind of like "Smith" or "Brown" is here.  When I arrived at CAMP LIFE on Monday, looking for my Zambian partner Magdalene so I could identify my group of girls, apparently she spotted me first, so Magdalene sent Nephie over to get me.  She literally attacked me with hugs as if we were long, lost friends.  "Auntie Beth!!!  Come this way!!!!"  And that was my first greeting from Nephie, actually, with any of "my girls".

When I sat down with Nephie for "Blessing Time", I learned that she's 11 years old.  I asked if she knew her birthday, and she did not.  We were told that many of the children have no idea what day they were born, only about how old they are.  My heart cracked a little more.  If you know me, you know birthdays are big for me.  My husband jokes that I celebrate "Beth's Birthday Month" and proclaim it as a national holiday.  We were instructed to write down a birthday of 1/1/and the year if the child didn't know her birthday, that way the ministry could identify the child's birthdate as being "unknown."  

Nephie is in grade 3, and praise the Lord, she currently has a sponsor through the Father's Heart program.  But did you catch that?  She is in grade 3, but she is 11 years old.  That means Nephie is already 3 years behind because of not being in school.  Can you imagine your 11 year old being in 3rd grade, but still being smart as a whip?  My heart split open a little more.

When I asked her what makes her happy, she said "I'm happy because I get to go to school now."  How many of our children will answer that question like that?  But these kids know and understand the value of education.  How I wish our children could really grasp that same importance!

Nephie is a single orphan - her mom passed away, and she lives with her dad.  She said that there are 8 children in the family, 4 boys and 4 girls.  She said she sleeps on the floor of a two room house.  Nephie has goals of being a nurse one day, and she asked that we pray for her to be able to concentrate at school.

I asked her what pains her, and she told me what pains her is listening to her 18 year old brother cry throughout the night in pain, due to his sickle cell anemia.  She said they don't have any money for medicines, so her brother cries a lot, and that makes her sad.  I asked her if she feels safe at home, and she said now that her community chased away one of her neighbors, she does feel safe.  She said the man kept preying on her, but he never hurt her though.  (Praise God for His protection!)

I learned that before coming to CAMP LIFE, Nephie had already asked Jesus into her heart.  However, sometimes she attends a JW church.  Please pray that God will invade her home and she will understand the difference between truth and lies, as her mind is probably getting mixed messages.  Finally, Nephie asked that we pray for her dad to find employment.  We prayed together, hugged, and I told her if she wanted to talk with me anytime later in the week, just to let me know.  Please pray for Nephie and the prayer requests mentioned!

At the end of the week, each child was given a wool blanket.  This is a picture of Nephie with hers.  Special thanks to my friend Ashlie Rich who sponsored this blanket for Nephie.  (More on the blankets in a later blog!)

The next "Blessing Time" we were able to do was with Catherine - Catherine Tembo.  Catherine was my oldest orphan girl.  She is 14 years old and even knows her birthday - November 9th, 1998, but as I quickly learned, she's already had a harder life than most people I know.  She's a double orphan - both her mom and her dad have already passed away.  

Catherine shared with us that after her parents died, she used to live with her auntie.  The auntie made her "go out with boys" so they would have money for food.  By the grace of God, Catherine's grandma heard about what was going on, and she stepped in and took Catherine away from the auntie.  Now, she  lives with her grandma, 2 brothers, 2 uncles, and 5 cousins in a 2-room house.  She said there are 8 people who sleep on the floor in the room she sleeps in.

Pictured above is Catherine Tembo.  
Can't you just see the joy of the Lord come through her face as she sings one of the praise songs, while waiting in line?

 

Remember that first "Small Group" I talked about from Monday?  The one where I was so concerned about the girls not understanding the decision to accept Christ into their lives?  Well, when I asked Catherine if she had ever thought about making that decision for herself, she told me, "I already did that."  I asked her to tell me more about it, and she said, "I made that decision in "Small Group" on Monday, Auntie Beth!  Isn't that just like God?  He has all the details wrapped up perfectly, and we don't need to worry, not one bit!

Like Nephie, Catherine is also blessed to already have a sponsor through the Father's Heart program. She attends the Lifeway Christian Academy in her compound of Chainda, and her favorite subject in school is English, but she has a goal of being a teacher one day.  

I asked Catherine if she feels safe at home, and she said she does most of the time, now that she lives with her grandma.  But she did say one of her uncles gets drunk all the time and screams at her, "Follow your father to the grave!"  She said once he threw a big stone on back, but when he is drunk, she now just tries to stay away from him.

Catherine wept as she asked us to pray that God would forgive her for her past mistakes with boys and that she will stay pure now that she's a child of the King!  She was a child.  A victim, really, and yet she was holding guilt for what was forced upon her.  We prayed together, and I believe God healed her heart and made her whole again.  That's what He promises to do, you know, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  Psalm 147:3

Catherine asked that we pray that her sponsor will be able to continue, then she said one more prayer request.  "Please pray that God will add years to my life."  This 14 year old girl knows all too well the reality of the brevity of life.  She has seen it.  She has lived it.  And she doesn't want to repeat the cycle of death.

"Please pray that God will add years to my life." - Catherine Tembo
Special thanks to my friends Steven and Kelly Bardeua who sponsored this blanket for Catherine!

 

We had time on Tuesday for one more "Blessing Time" - with a little girl named Ireen Phiri, but I will save that story for the next blog.  I'm well aware that as I type all the details, most people don't have time to read all the details, and her story is one that cannot be missed, so stay tuned.  It's her story that keeps me awake at night, and haunts me during the daylight hours.

Take the time to pray for Nephie and Catherine, will you please?  Especially pray that they will be able to stay in school and grow in the Lord!  And pray that God continues to bind up the wounds of these brokenhearted ones who have lost so much.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Abundant Life - MONDAY, CAMP LIFE

 "I have come that they might have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."  John 10:10

 

FINALLY!  The day was finally here for me to meet my 10 girls!  I was giddy with excitement, and it wasn't from the ice cold shower I had, either.  (Actually, I did have about 1 minute of scalding hot water before it turned ice cold, but hey, "this is Africa" - what do I expect?)

But you know what?  God sure has a sense of humor.  After all this waiting, we didn't get to meet our kids right away on Monday morning.  No, the ministry felt it was important (and they were right!) for us to go tour the city and see some of these compounds and slums that our children were coming from. The tour guide for my bus was  a man by the name of Clay Hughey, a staff member with Family Legacy.

Admitedly, I am an observer of people.  I try not to be judgemental, really I do.  But I can't help but form evaluations on people based on what I observe.  The old saying "actions speak louder than words" is true, and after spending part of my week as an eye-witness to the great Clay Hughey, I must say that I hold nothing but high respect and deep regard for this man and his family.  They don't just spend the summers doing CAMP LIFE in Zambia.  No, they live there full time.  You see, I had "known" Clay's name over the years.  I have done countless tickets for him.  It wasn't his wealth of knowledge about Zambia, and it wasn't his rather quick wit.  No, what impressed me about Clay was his compassion and wisdom in helping make key decisions for the ministry to catapult the welfare of the orphan child.  Did you catch that?  It wasn't to catapult the ministry.  God is using Clay in an incredible way, and Amber and I were blessed to have him as our tour guide for the morning.  Props to God, and props to Clay for allowing himself to be used in such a mighty way! 

As we entered a compound called Chaisa, I could hear a few gasps from some who were perhaps on their first ever mission trip.  Sites like this are not easily forgotten.  For me, It reminded me a lot of the barrios in Barranquilla, Colombia -- with one exception.  Although the homes seemed similar in structure, the number of small children walking around alone was alarming.  On top of that, as Clay gave us the facts on the orphan situation, the number of people that live in the homes is probably twice as many as what I have seen in Colombia.  As we learned, it's not uncommon for 12 people to live in a two room shack.  We even drove through an area that had recently flooded, but prior to that, the homes were made of plastic garbage bags.  Forget the "rooms" - there were no "rooms."  

One major component of reaching the orphan children of Zambia and changing the cycle of poverty is through education, and Family Legacy is now the largest private provider of education in the entire country.  They call their schools Lifeway Christian Academies, and we were able to tour the LCA in the compound of Chaisa.  This particular school has an incredible God-story behind it.  You see, in that very spot in Chaisa, there once stood a bar that until Family Legacy purchased the property, housed a brothel.  However, the owner of the bar passed away, and his family couldn't agree on what should be done with the property, so the courts ordered it to be sold.  Family Legacy was in the right place at the right time.  It was God's time.  Clay told us about how he went to view the property the first time, and he showed us the rooms that once housed a mattress and a woman, "open and ready for business.' Today, this same property is not only providing a sound education for orphans, it's also teaching them that Jesus is THE WAY, the one and only way!

After the tour of the city and the compounds, it was time.  It was finally time to meet the 10 girls that God had entrusted to me for the week.  I had butterflies in my stomach, the same kind you get when you go on a first date.  (Yes, it's been a long time since I had a "first date" but I still remember what they feel like - that's a feeling you never forget!)

The moment was here, and as I met each girl, I put my hand on their shoulder, their back, their head.  I looked them in the eyes and told them I loved them.  I told them I didn't know their name or even what they looked like before that day, but I had been praying for them for months.  The emotions I felt were unexpected.  With a few, I swelled up with tears as I told them these words.  I felt an immediate love for them.  With a few others, I silently prayed, "I hope I can learn to love this girl, but God, she just looks so unloveable!"   Yes, that's the human in me being completely honest.  Some of these girls were dirty.  Very dirty.  Some really didn't smell good, either.  And as I walked down the row and gave a personal greeting to each girl, I remembered what Greer asked us to pray, "Lord, let me love this child the way You love them."  And somehow God's peace started to take over that anxiety and pressure on me to love them.  I didn't have to do anything.  God would do it.  And He did.  He did that and so much more.

Ten precious girls, all lined up from shortest to tallest.  Each adorned with a beaded necklace with their name on it - necklaces they had made before I arrived at CAMP LIFE.  The first was Memory.  Yes, that was her name, and it wasn't very hard to remember, either!  Next was Nephie.  I learned later that Nephie used the letter "I" instead of the letter "L" by mistake when she made her necklace, and then on top of that, she spelled her name wrong.  In actuality, her name was Nephel, but when she made her necklace, it came out "Nephie." She looked like a Nephie, and from that point on, with her permission, that was her name.  "Nephie" fit her well, too.  The next little girl I met was Ireen.  As I met each girl, I tried to make mental notes about them so I could remember their names.  I was planning on taking pictures of each one and then studying their faces (and necklaces) that night.  Ireen's eyelashes were long and mangled with dirt and grime.  That was my reminder.  Eye-reen.  Then Edina.  When I met Edina, I wondered what her story was.  I could barely get a smile out of her.  She was going to be a tough nut to crack, for sure.  Or so I thought.  Stella (tight braids, angled to the left).  Agness (Scar over her left eye).  Jane (Tight braids straight back).  Esther (Big eyes, shy).  Felistus (Big gap in her teeth).  And then finally Catherine, Catherine with a beautiful,contagious smile and a matching scar on her forehead, just like I have.  :)  (What can I say?  I'm visual!)  

These were the 10 girls God had entrusted to me to pour myself into for a week of CAMP LIFE, and somehow I knew that by the end of the week, CAMP LIFE would be a reality for them.  In our orientation, Greer told us that some of our kids would literally be like "the walking dead."  He told us some would come to CAMP LIFE without life or purpose.  I was trusting God that none of them would ever be "walking dead" again!

(I didn't realize until Tuesday or Wednesday that the settings somehow got changed on my camera, causing every picture from the first two days of CAMP LIFE to be terrible.  But, hey, at least I have "grainy" pictures that look like they were taken with a 100 year old camera!  ...and most importantly, I have memories!  I just wish I could share those memories more vividly!)

After we all tried to get to know each other a little, it was time for BIG GROUP session.  This is where we all go to the Legacy Center, sing and dance (and for me, look like a fool while singing and dancing), listen to "Uncle Greer" teach, and then watch a skit that closely models the horrific life that some of these orphan children live on a daily basis.  Since I had older girls, my group was positioned in the very back of the room.  "Uncle Greer" taught from Romans 10 about having the power of God in your life.  "You must hear the Word of God; you must understand the Word of God; you must believe in your heart; and you must speak the Word of God."  Four simple and direct points with hand motions to help them remember.  Up until that week, I had only known the "business Greer", but I must say I definitely like the "Uncle Greer" a lot, too!  It was so cool to see the other side of the founder of the ministry, the one that loves and cares so much for these children!

After the skit and one more song, it was time for "small group."  During small group, I felt very strongly that I should share the Gospel again to be sure they all understood what it meant to accept Christ.  I shared my testimony and how my mom had shown me how to become a Christian when I was a small child.  I shared Scripture verses with them and just spoke from my heart.  Talking about the Lord truly is one of my favorite things to do, and if you know me, just like in this blog, I can go on and on!  (Hey, I like to share details!  It's the details that make you feel a part of the story, right?)

Anyway, after I was sure that I had explained everything as best I could, I asked the girls if they would like to pray and ask God to come into their lives, forgive them of their sins, and commit their life to Him.  Then my Zambian partner Magdalene took over and led some of the girls in a prayer.  I started to get goosebumps when I heard them pray.  It truly was child-like faith, and as they prayed, I asked God to let this be real in their lives.  

Timing is everything, you know, and apparently, I'm not very good at it.  Just as the girls were finishing up their prayer, the music came on and announcements started being made about it being time to go home.  "The Wheels on the Bus" song blared, and commotion began,  There I was, going from a mountain-top high to a super-low emotional moment.  You see, one of the things I am so cautious about when it comes to children and salvation is making sure they understand.  My heart dropped that there was no immediate follow-up with those that prayed a few moments earlier.  I didn't even know WHO prayed that prayer!  I didn't know anything.  Then God quickly reminded me that He had it all under control - every word I said, the timing, and every prayer that was uttered.  I didn't need to know.  (More on that in future blogs!)

All 10 of my girls and 10 of Amber's girls were from the same compound - Chainda.  As we waited for their bus to arrive, Memory clung to me as if she was my own child and I'd known and loved her my whole life.  I grabbed my camera and snapped a picture,

Although she's looking right at the camera, I don't think she had any idea I even took a picture.  She was just holding on to me and rocking back and forth.  Little Memory.  Cute as a bug, and there were times during the week that she had the entire group crying because of the funny things that came out of that little mouth.  To say she was a spitfire is an understatement!

As I have mentioned before, Zambia has more oprhans per capita than any other country in the world. Over 1 million.  Like me, you might ask "why"?  Well, with Monday's CAMP LIFE in the books, we were about to find out one of the biggest reasons.  We rode the bus back to the hotel for dinner and our team meeting, then we were told that all "first timers" to CAMP LIFE needed to stay after dinner and watch a documentary film by Sorious Samura.  It was called "Living with AIDS," and it was filmed there in Zambia.  

HIV/AIDS truly is epidemic in Zambia.  Many of the children who live at the ministry's Tree of Life Village are HIV positive.  The average lifespan in Zambia is only 38 years old, and people are both reproducing and dying en mass.  There is such a stigma with the disease that many will refuse to be tested, or if they do get tested, they will not tell their family, for fear of being eternally shunned.  

 

The documentary focuses much on so called "safe sex" but even more so, it really uncovers why the disease is still claiming so many lives and leaving so many orphans.  (The documentary is almost an hour long, but the video embedded here is about 11 minutes long.  If you have time to watch even those 11 minutes, you'll get a good understanding of the situation.  If you can find the entire documentary somewhere, I would encourage you to watch the whole thing.)

The documentary also shed new light for me on just what children experience there in Zambia.  Think about it.  Most live in a one or two room home with anywhere from 6 to 8 to 12 or even more living there.  The children grow up being exposed to sex from the time they are babies.  There is no privacy, and there is nothing done behind closed doors.  Urges are acted upon with whatever warm body, willing or unwilling, that is available.  And the disease spreads.  And the children lose their moms.  And they lose their dads.  And many of them are left with nothing.  Nothing but the disease themselves, passed on from childbirth.

Daunting is not the word to describe the reality of the situation.  Haunting is a more accurate description.  Amber had terrible nightmares that night.  She dreamed that she went to CAMP LIFE the next day and some of her girls had passed away, leaving Amber to carry the bodies in her backpack all day.  I don't say that to be grotesque or macabe.  The situation is just that dark.  The film did the job intended - it brought the reality of the situation in Zambia, the reality of the "life" these children face on a daily basis to the forefront of my understanding.  

John 10:10 says that Jesus came so we will have life - LIFE ABUNDANT.  That's what CAMP LIFE is all about, so the "walking dead" can find new life in Christ.  Some of my girls had done just that on Monday during small group time - they had made a decision to start living the abundant life in Christ!  

Truly, it was an emotionally packed day.  As Boulder and I layed down, I asked the Lord again to give me His heart for my girls.  How I wanted them each to know what it means to truly experience an abundant life in Christ, regardless of their lack of earthly riches.  I knew He would be faithful.  He always is. Besides, it's called CAMP LIFE for a reason.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

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Prepare the Way...

"A voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare the way of the Lord!  Make straight in the desert a highway for our God.  Every valley shall be raised up; every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain.  And the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all the people will see it together, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken."  
Isaiah 40:3-5

It was the trip of a lifetime, really...a dream come true for Amber and I to be able to go work with orphans in Zambia with one of my long-time clients and friends, Greer and Susan Kendall (Family Legacy Missions International.)  Every detail from how it came to be, our airfare, and even a small safari was God-provided.  I knew God was going to do great things on this trip; I had no doubt of that.  But God had plans far beyond my mind's imagination.  The name of the program was called CAMP LIFE, and to be honest, I really didn't know exactly how all that was going to work, only that I would be pouring myself into children who needed to experience love and hear about the love of the Father.  The theme for CAMP LIFE this year was from Isaiah 40:3-5 "Prepare the way of the Lord."  Although He prepared each step of this trip for us, let me just say that He also kept us on a "need to know" basis pretty much the whole trip.  He definitely prepared the way...I just didn't have access to all the details in advance!  So to say I was excited about the trip is an understatement, but I might also add that I was a bit apprehensive at even the thought of CAMP.  CAMP is a four-letter word, you know.  At least in the Beth Banfill dictionary.  Feel free to add to that list of bad words "bugs".  Physical exertion, CAMP, roughing it, and anything of the sort were all part of the trip's unknown elements, and if you know me, I like to be "in the know."  

That "need to know" basis started with our safari at the front-end of the trip.  All I knew was that once we landed in the capital city of Lusaka, Zambia on Thursday, July 4th in the morning, Amber and I would meet our friend at the airport, drop off our six bags of supplies with her, and then catch a connecting flight to Livingstone, Zambia.  Mind you, we left on Tuesday, July 2nd, so that's a lot of hours of straight travel, but we were excited and ready.  Everything went as planned, including navigating the London underground and train system without any mishaps during our full day-layover in London.  

Once we landed in Lusaka and cleared customs, we were handed our itinerary, and within 90 minutes, we were boarding a very small domestic plane to Livingstone.  The airline was called "Pro Flight", and let's just say you can't buy their tickets here in the good old USA.  I definitely spent some time in prayer both before take-off, in-flight, and at landing, but all was well, and we even were served a snack and drink on board.  A driver met us at the airport and took us to our hotel.  Until that morning, I wasn't even sure of the name of the hotel we were booked at!  To our amazement, we arrived to find that the property hosted zebras, giraffes, monkeys, gazelle, baboons, and even a crocodile, all of which were free to roam the property at their whim.  

The hotel backed up to the Zambia side of Victoria Falls, one of the seven "natural wonders of the world."  We were exhausted, but within minutes of checking-in, we decided to walk down to the Falls. Within a five minute walk down a trail, we were at the edge of this beautiful handiwork of God, with a double rainbow in view.

The sight was even more incredible than the picture.  I started to move down a path to get a better view before coming to an immediate hault...I stumbled across this mother babboon, with a baby nearby. I could see the headline, "Woman goes to Africa to work with orphans and leaves her own child as one." Discretion is not something I always take advantage of, but this time I stood my distance and watched in amazement as she climbed the tree and hopped around her palacial home. 

We made our way down another path to the top of the Zambia side of the falls and this view below. After snapping quite a few pictures, we were ready to move on and see the rest of the property.

Remember, we were on a "need to know basis" so I didn't have any idea what this little side-trip to Livingstone included.  I found out that we had Thursday completely free, Friday was filled with a side-trip to Botswana that included a game-drive safari and a river-cruise, and then the only thing for Saturday was a 12 noon transfer to the airport.  We ended up booking a 1-hour "Segway Sunset Tour" with the activities desk for Thursday evening, and I started to inquire whether there was any other activities we could squeeze in before departing back to the airport at 12 noon on Saturday.  Liz, the lady at the desk told us we could book the boat to go to "Livingstone Island."  She told us nothing else except that we could fit it in our schedule and it was very nice.  After weighing the cost and realizing this was a YOLO moment for Amber and I, I booked it.  More on that later, because here's a tip...especially while in a foreign land, it's always a good idea to ask what exactly that little boat ride to the island would include.

We were the only two participants on the Sunset Segway Tour, so our guide was pretty liberal in our speed and the path we took.  He took us to the feeding area where the giraffes live on the property, and we ended the day watching the sun set over the Zambezi River.

 

 

On Friday morning, we met up with some others who were booked for the day trip to Botswana and Chobe National Park.  We soon found out that these two families were also attending CAMP LIFE.  God sure has a way of setting our mind at ease, because having people with us from Texas and Oklahoma sure made me feel a lot safer in a foreign country.  We went on our game drive in the morning and a river cruise in the afternoon.  Now, after having been to the Serengeti last year, I can't say that the sites of animals in the wild were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and they definitely weren't "in abundance" but we did get to see a lot of elephants, hippos, and crocodiles up close-and personal. 

Included in that "up close and personal" was the awestruck view from the river cruise of watching a family of elephants gracefully step into the river and eventually swim across the channel to the island. It was my favorite part of the day, for sure!

Our short time in Livingstone was coming to an end.  We were having a wonderful time on the side-trip, but Amber and I both were ready to start CAMP LIFE and see what God had in store for us and the upcoming week.  We woke up Saturday morning, ate breakfast, and then we caught the shuttle over to the drop-point for the boat tour to Livingstone Island.  We put on our life jackets, and before entering the speedboat, we were given waivers to sign...in three places...with initials in four other places.  Perhaps that should have been a clue that we were about to embark on real adventure, but again, God kept us on a "need to know basis".  We signed our lives away, made it to the island, and then took a short hike to a campsite.

Then our guide said, "OK, we are in Africa, everyone take off your shoes and socks and follow me." Amber and I looked at each other and our jaw dropped to the ground.  "What in the world did we get ourselves into?" I thought.  As we hiked up to the campsite, the guide pointed out elephant and hippo dung on the side of the path.  Now he's telling me I'm going to walk through this barefoot?  But Amber and I shrugged our shoulders and with a big smile embarked on the adventure of a lifetime.

At some points, Amber was literally knee deep in mud, and with each step, I let out a squeel of nasty disgust. I held my breath with furrowed brow.  I could only think about what might be under the mud I was sinking in. While I never saw a snake, I was definitely on the lookout for one.  As we hiked through the mud, the sound of Victoria Falls became stronger, and my heart began to race a bit more.  We went from the mud to a small rapid.  Our guide stood between us and a drop-point to the falls.   "Step here, he would say, pointing with his foot to a very specific rock, all while holding our hands to cross.  Then he would point with his other foot to another rock.  "Not here, don't step here.  Here.  Put your foot here."

I went first, and after I made it over to that first stop-point, I looked him in the eye and said, "That's my only daughter.  Don't let anything happen to her!"  All I could think of is "what in the world did I get myself into?  Why didn't I ask more questions about this little tour?  Frank would never approve of us doing this!"  After Amber made it to other side safely, my fears eased, and I began to understand why people pay money to put themselves in danger like this.  We had made our way to the top of the falls. We were literally standing on the edge, looking over a massive waterfall, and although the pictures don't show the immense beauty because of the rain, it was indeed one of the most amazing experiences we've ever had in our lives.  (Not to mention one of the biggest adreniline rushes of our lives!)

We eventually made our way over to several other fast moving areas of water, with our guide holding our hand, one by one, and telling us where to place our feet, step by step.  As I experienced it in "real-time", my mind was experiencing it in slow-motion.  I immediately thought of the paralel of my Heavenly guide telling me "Go here, my child.  Don't step over there, you'll be in danger.  Here.  This is the way; you'll be safe here.  Don't worry, just hold my hand."

Amber and I both agreed that we're not so sure we would have embarked on this adventure to the island, had we known all the facts.  In fact, there was a 15-year old girl on the tour from Australia who refused to take her shoes and socks off; she wated at the campsite for everyone else and completely missed the adventure.  That thought crossed my mind - I'll be honest.  But I'm so thankful I didn't back-out.  The beauty on the "other side" was well worth the discomfort and trek to get there.  

I know this has been a long post, but I wanted to document the details.  I shake my head in wonder at God's love for me to bless me with this trip...and to get to do this with my daughter is really something that cannot be described.  We were on a "need to know" basis, and all we really needed to know at that point was that God had clearly told us to participate in CAMP LIFE, and we were being obedient.  It was a no-brainer for us, really.  That's why we were there, treking across the other side of the world. Because we were being obedient to what God asked us to do.

As I think about that morning, the sound of the rushing waterfall, I can't help but think of the experiences that were to come that next week, the memories still vividly rushing through my mind. Had I known in advance what was to come, the depth of emotions I would experience, the pain I would see in the eyes of the girls I was working with, the reality of the HIV-AIDS epidemic in the country, the poverty these children live in, and the plight of the orphan child in Zambia...well,perhaps I would not have come.  

But that's not how God works.  

He says, "Step here, my child.  Here, on this rock.  Step here.  It's safe here.  Don't worry, I'm holding your hand."  And with each step of obedience, before you know it, you're on the other side of the world, feeling as safe as if you're in your own temperpedic bed in Wylie, Texas.  Because that's just how God works, on a "need to know basis" as He made the way straight in the desert.  He raised up every valley and every mountain and hill He made low.  He made the rough ground become level and the rugged places plain.  And He revealed His glory. Yes, He revealed His glory to us, and He prepared the way!

Stay tuned...more to come!

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

Dads that Make a Difference...

“Point your elbow! Quit dropping your shoulder!”
As annoying as those words were from the batter box, how I wish I could hear them one more time.  From the point I could hold a ball and mitt or swing a bat, my dad started taking me out to the playground.  He taught me how to field ground balls; he hit countless infield hits to me as the pitcher; and he intentionally made me run all over the outfield to chase the ball when he would smack a homerun, just because he could.  He taught me how to play ball, just like I was one of the boys.  But I knew I wasn’t just one of the boys, I was his princess.

“Come on, Beth Ann, let’s go fishin’ at Rec Park. 
I’m making my famous dough balls.”  Yes, my dad taught me how to fish, too.  And he had this recipe for dough balls – I don’t know if he made it up or where he got it, but I do remember he would use an old tube sock to make it and you could smell the yeast throughout the house.  He swore it was the only guaranteed bait that the fish would bite on, and he was usually right.  Today, I can’t go fishing without thinking of my dad.  It’s one of my favorite recreational activities.  He made me bait my own hook, and he made me take the fish off when I caught it.  Of course, once I got married, I never told my husband that I knew how to do such things, so let’s keep that between us.   

“You wanna see my scar?” 
He would say while shaking his “World’s Best Lover” belt buckle.  That was one of his favorite lines.  While the recipient of his one-liner turned ghastly white at what might be coming, my dad would then lift up his arm and point to a little scar on the back of his elbow. The shock value alone was worth watching.  He loved to make people laugh with his quick wit, and in regard to that, I am my father’s daughter.  I have a lot of him in me.  Sure, I have his orneriness.  Definitely his strong will.  But mostly, I have his quick wit.  It’s what I like best about myself, actually.  And when I see that same wit in my children, I am quick to point out that they can thank their Grandpa McNabb for that attribute.

Today on Father’s Day, I honor my dad.  He loved Jesus, and I often woke up to find him sitting at the dining room table reading his Bible or praying.  I was his “ditter” and he was my daddy…my daddy who made a difference in my life.

 

How I wish Jacob and Amber could have really known their pop-pop the way I did.  Amber remembers him a little, Jacob not at all.  But as incredible of a role model that I had, I dare say that Jacob and Amber’s daddy may give mine a run for his money.  My best memories of my dad surround his non-stop antics, along with the quality time we spent together.  When my children look back at my husband, Frank, I believe the thing they will remember most is the Godly example that he was and the wisdom he freely and constantly imparted to them.

I have never met a wiser, calmer, more humble soul.   He knows just the right way to counter-act a hot temper.  He reasons his way through conversations with Jacob and Amber to help them dissect problems to see the bigger picture.  Earlier this year, Amber was so stressed about college.  Where to go, what to do with her life, how are we going to pay for it, and how will she ever manage 4 or 8 more years of school when she’s so exhausted from studying right now.  (Typical questions of an
over-achiever!)  In fact, the stress level was so high that she wouldn’t even open the college letters that she was receiving en mass each day.

But Frank, in his best daddy-wisdom, said, “Sweetheart, let’s try to break it down."  He then went on to ask her what makes her happiest.  He asked if there were any elements or experiences in her life that she knew had to be part of her career.  He asked questios like, "Do you want to go to college far from home or close to home?  Do you want to go to a Christian school?  What elements must be in  your future job for you to feel fulfilled?” 

Little by little, the stress level started to go down as the fog began to clear for Amber.  Although she wasn’t sure of her career choice at that point, through the wisdom gleaned from her daddy, she had determined that she wanted to go to a Christian college, probably double major in Cross-Cultural Studies and Spanish (possibly working for a non-profit organization), and because she’s a bit of a homebody, she wanted the school to be about 3 hours from home. (That final college qualification was quickly amended to be 3 hours from home or 15 minutes from a beach!)  Opening the letters from colleges were no longer a daunting task for Amber.  If they didn’t meet the criteria she had
established, thanks to the wisdom from her dad, she would just pitch them in the
trash without another thought.

Wisdom.  Some people have it, some don’t.  And Frank Banfill, the father of my children and the love of my life has it in surplus.  He models Christ for our children, and he has lived a life of humility for them to see as they grow up.  He's in Tanzania this Father's Day, and in fact, he's already gone to bed for the night, but I want to publicy honor my husband today.  There’s no doubt that he's a dad who is making a daily difference in the lives of Jacob and Amber, and I’m so grateful. 

I would love to sit here and say my dad was the most awesome father in the world.  Jacob and Amber could build a pretty strong case of the same for Frank, too.  But the truth is that the judge would throw both cases out of court.  You see, God in heaven, my heavenly father, my Abba Daddy, trumps all.  I cannot even imagine what my life would look like without having a relationship with Him. 

So many people don’t get that the relationship is the key.  They say, “I believe in God,” and they think that’s their ticket to heaven.  But the Bible says that the demons believe in God, and they’re afraid.  No, just knowing isn’t the answer. 

It’s like this.  Let’s just say you grew up with a wayward father.  You knew he was out there somewhere, but you would have no reason to trust him, and you certainly wouldn’t have faith in him.  Why?  Because you have no relationship with him.  He’s not shown an interest in you or even acted as though he cared.  On the flip side, if you were blessed to grow up with your dad in your life and you
have a good relationship with him, would you even doubt his advice or guidance?  Most would say no.  Why? Because you trust him.  Because you know he has your best interests at heart.  Because you know He loves you and cares for you.

I’ve just finished a Bible study a few weeks ago, and one recurring theme was that God pursues us. 
Unlike the wayward father, my Father pursues me.  In Genesis 15:1, He came to Abram.  In Genesis 3:7, he came to Cain and told him the right way to live his life.  I Peter 3:12 says that the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer.  Isaiah 30:18 says the Lord longs to be gracious to us, and He’s waiting on high to have compassion on us.  Psalm 10:17 says He listens to our cry.  Exodus 14:14 says He will fight for us.  And I John 4:16 says that we know and can rely on the love God has for us!  Those are some pretty strong words! 

All these things sure sound like attributes of a great Father, don’t they?  Someone who loves me unconditionally.  Someone who will fight for me.  Someone who listens to me.  Someone I can count on.  Someone who guides me in truth and shows me the right way to go.

John 8:32 says “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  And the truth is
that it’s not by my own works that I can be saved, it’s only through the grace of God.  (Ephesians 2:8-9)  The key is putting your faith and trust in Him as the only true way to heaven.  John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”  And what did my
Heavenly Father do?  He loved me so much that He sent his son Jesus to earth.  He lived a perfect life, and He suffered a terrible death, for your sin and mine.  When He rose from the dead, he defeated sin and death, and He made a way for us to get to Heaven.  Doing good things and living a good life won’t get me there.  It’s only by having a point in my life when I’ve made a conscious decision to put my faith and trust in Him as the only true way.  John 14:6 says “I am the way, the truth, and the life, no man comes to the Father, except through Me.” (through what Jesus did on the cross!)   

I love the play on words in this old song…  “He paid a debt He did not owe; I owed a debt, I could not pay, I needed someone to wash my sins away.  And now I sing a brand new song, Amazing Grace, all day long, Christ Jesus paid the debt that I could never pay.” 

I’m so thankful that my mom introduced me to my Heavenly Father.  As a small child, as best I could,
I knelt beside my bed and asked Him to forgive me of my sins and come into my life and save me.  I told Him I wanted to live for Him, and I put my faith and trust in Him, and Him alone for salvation.

Whether you had a great relationship with your dad or a terrible one, the truth is that if you don’t already, you can have a relationship with this same God that I do.  He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  (Proverbs 18:23).  He will never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5).  And He promises, “You will seek me and find me when you search for me with your whole heart.”  If you don’t know Him personally, why not start today?  What’s keeping you?

He’s a Dad who made a difference in my life.  In fact, He’s THE DAD who made THE ONLY DIFFERENCE in my life.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

Tablets of Human Heart...

“Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you?  You yourselves are our letter,written on our hearts, known and read by everybody.  You show that you are a letter from Christ,the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.  Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God.  Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.  He has made us competent as minister of a new covenant – not of the letter but of the Spirit for the letter kills, but the Spirit give life.”    2 Corinthians 3:1-6 

My friend Sam Ingrassia sent me an encouraging email last month, and in it, he mentioned the impact this passage in 2 Corinthians had recently had on him.  I was already in the middle of a study, so I set it on the back-burner and added it to my “things to do” pile, which during this time of year is increasing daily.  This week, I felt like God was saying it was time to dive-in and study Sam’s suggestion. I love God’s timing – it’s always perfect – because it really encouraged me to move forward with an area I’ve been praying about for the last few weeks.  More on that later…

Take some time to go read the passage.  Verse one starts out with Paul asking if the people in the church of Corinth needed to carry letters with them to authenticate who they were.  Apparently, there were some false prophets in the day that started forging letters of authority to try to convince others that their “message” was real. 

I can definitely relate to this.  My full time job is arranging airfare for churches, missionaries, and non-profit organizations.  My company has contracts negotiated with every major airline to offer some special arrangements to passengers traveling for these purposes.   Believe it or not, there are some passengers who have been discovered through the years carrying false documents, trying to authenticate the purpose of their trip.  I've seen it myself, fabricated letterhead with the name, address, and phone number of a church that doestn't even exist.  Yes, unfortunately, there are some people who represent themselves in life in a certain way who are not “the real deal.”

But then Paul goes on to talk about those that are “the real deal.”  This is really what struck me, and what my friend Sam wanted me to see.  Look at verses 2-3  “You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody.  You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”

Paul was basically telling them that they didn’t need a stone tablet / letter to authenticate the message of Christ because their lives authenticated Him. The Lord God could be seen in the tablet of their heart!  In verses 4-5, Paul gave God the credit for this, but just like a proud daddy, he mentioned that God had used him and his ministry to have a part in growing them into that living, breathing authentication.

The application really is two-fold for me as I read this passage.   The first question I must ask myself is this:  Am I living out my salvation so that others could say the same thing about me?  Can others authenticate the Message of Jesus Christ just by the way I am living?  Or do I have to in some way “prove” that I am a Christian, because it’s not apparent in my actions and words.  I pray nearly every day that I will make the choices so that others see “The Jesus in Me” and that I will be a reflection of Him. I pray that I am living that way, but I know I have so much more room for growth.

But the second part of the application is really what struck me and God confirmed in my heart an answer to prayer.  You see, Paul could actually say with confidence (not boasting) that those Christians in Corinth were a result of his ministry.  Paul had invested himself into them, teaching them and helping them grow. He didn’t just live his life as a Christian trying to reflect Christ himself, but he poured himself into others. He had a vested interest in those Christians because he had personally
invested in them.

As I think back over my life, I can think of a few people that like Paul, I can say, “You are a letter from Christ, the result of my ministry.”  But over the last few weeks,not even knowing I was going to study this passage this week, I’ve been asking God if He wants more from me.  I sat in a meeting a few weeks ago and listened as one of my friends poured out her heart about the need for someone in our church to step up and lead a women’s Bible study.  God has been speaking to me about investing myself more deeply into the lives of others, and when I heard her heart, I committed to pray and ask God if this was something He wanted me to do. 

Like everyone else, my life is pretty full.  I work a full time job, anywhere from 40-70 hours a week, depending on the season.  I and am a wife and mother of two teenagers. I serve on our church’s worship team, host a life-group in our home every other week, serve on the women’s ministry leadership team at church, am active with my daughter’s debate team, write Christian music and poems, blog, and of course, if you really know me, you know I also try to bake lemon bars for my friends to encourage them.  Yes, my life is pretty full, and your list is probably longer than mine.   

But you know what?  We all have the same 24 hours in a day.  We all have the same 7 days in a week, and we all have the same 365 days in a year.  The only difference between my time and someone else's is how I prioritize it.  Truth.  As I prayed about starting a Bible study, God just kept telling me that He didn’t want lip-service, He wants action.  He doesn’t want me to just blog about living out my Christian life, He wants it demonstrated in a more tangible way.  The more I prayed, the more He asked me, “How are you investing yourself in the life of others to grow them?”  Like an unprepared student in class, I didn't have a very strong answer.

And that brings it back full circle.  You see, God had already shown me that He wanted me to pour myself into others, then He confirmed it through Scripture and through our dear friend Sam sharing this passage.  Yes, God’s timing is always perfect.  If I had read this a month ago when Sam passed it on to me, it likely wouldn’t have had the same impact.  At that time, God wasn’t speaking to me about investing myself more deeply in others.  (Or maybe He was, and I just wasn’t listening yet!)  Either way, it’s my prayer that I will be the "real deal"...that I will not only be a “living letter” of authentication for God, but that I will also be able to look at others and say with all glory going to God, “You are a result of my ministry.”  May we each be a tablet of human heart!

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

These are my people...

"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God' people and members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus Himself as the chief cornerstone.  In Him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord.  And in Him, you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by His Spirit.  Ephesians 2:19-22

 

Have you ever had that niche of people that you when you're with them, you just want to say, "These are my people!"  I have had a few experiences with that kind of feeling.  But the best example I can think of is vicariously through my daughter Amber.  She played volleyball on a competitive team from late elementary school through junior high.  She was one of the starting setters for her junior high 8th grade team, but when the season was over, she said, "Mom, I'm done.  Next year in high school, I'm going to focus on theater and not volleyball."  My heart sank, because I love volleyball, and not only did Amber have some talent, but we had a lot of years of money invested in that talent.  But as I wrestled with her words, I had to validate the fact that she wasn't happy for some reason, and she wanted to do something new.  At the end of her 8th grade year, she auditioned for and made the "Black Box" theater for Wylie High School, and she began her freshman year with that being her new passion, her new focus.

At the end of Amber's freshman year, she told me, "Mom, I'm done with theater.  Next year I'm going to focus on debate."  Now that one was not so easy to swallow.  I didn't know much about "debate."  Actually, I didn't know anything at all about "debate".  What I did know was that Amber had given up after five plus years of volleyball to do theater, and now in my mind, it appeared that she was giving up on theater.  How wrong I was.  My daughter knew herself, and she was searching for "her people."  So with our blessing, Amber began her sophomore year active on the debate team.  It didn't take long for her to realize she finally found what she was yearning for.  I'm so thankful for the coach and the other team members who have embraced her into their little family.  She has a home.  A safe place.  She has found her people.

Through a friend's encouragement, I have been praying through the book of Ephesians, reading and dialoguing in prayer as I read.  As I pray through this book, it's definitely taking me more time than I ever imagined it would.  I can read pretty quickly.  But when I read, and pray back to God what He's showing me, journaling it, well, that takes a lot longer.  Doing this, however, has given me the time I need to really focus on what He is telling me, instead of just reading and "moving on" with my day.

So as I finished up reading Ephesians 2 this morning, I can't help but think of this story of my daughter Amber in parallel to what we have in Jesus, if we have found our peace in Him.  Take a look at Ephesians 2:19-22.  Paul is addressing the fact that Jesus died for both Jews and Gentiles.  There is no difference between the two, and we all have free access to God through what Jesus did on the cross. 

Paul says "we are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens in God's household."  As a small child, I made the decision to give my life to Christ.  I wasn't a drug dealer, I wasn't an alcoholic, and I wasn't a really bad person - I was just a child.  But there was a point in my life when I realized I was a sinner, and my sin separated me from God in heaven. So I asked Jesus to come into my life, forgive me of my sins, and I put my faith and trust in Him and Him alone.  There's nothing I could do to earn his grace; it was only by accepting His free gift, the gift of His Son Jesus dying on the cross to pay for my sins.  Now go back to the verse:  "We are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens in God's household."  Did you catch that?  Because I have asked Jesus to come into my life and forgive me of my sins, because there's been a time in my life when I've asked Him to take control, He says to me and others who have made that same commitment, "THESE ARE MY PEOPLE." 

Yes, I am a member of God's household now.  I have my place.  But just like Amber had to do her part to fit in with her new Debate Family, we do need to do our part as well with God.  No, doing good things do not save us, but our lives should match God's expectations, and that is where we fall short so many times.  I mean, if Amber had joined the debate team and then never actually went to a tournament, if she never prepared a case to debate, if she didn't do her part of being on the team, do you think that would go over too well?  I don't think so.  Not with the coach, her partner, or her fellow team members.  Then why is it that we don't take the same approach with being on God's team?  That is where I fall short too often.  Look at verse 22  "In Him, you too are being built together..."  I love the fact that it says "are being built."  That means that it's a process that takes place and there's still hope for me! 

As I prayed through the end of chapter two today, I stopped at that last verse "to become a dwelling in which God lives by His Spirit."  Is my life being lived in a manner that God is comfortable enough to dwell there?  When we have company coming over, we clean, clean, clean.  Why?  I don't know about you, but I clean so I won't be embarrassed by the dirt in my house.  I want my guest to be comfortable, and truly, I just want to have an enjoyable time of fellowship.  So as I read this verse, God just reminded me that just like I clean my physical home, I need to constantly also be doing spiritual cleaning so God's Holy Spirit is comfortable in my dwelling place.  He longs to have an enjoyable time of fellowship with me, but if I've not been confessing sin and seeking His will, there are going to be a lot of dust bunnies built up that would make open conversation with Him perhaps a bit awkward, if not even the elephant in the room. 

He is my Chief Cornerstone, and each one of us as Christians should be working together to accomplish His will so we can be identified as HIS PEOPLE.  Is that not the highest compliment God Almighty can give?  To say, "YOU...are mine.  YOU are my people."  To say to the body of believers, "These are my people."

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

 

A Snake in My Garden...

"God chose me before the foundations of the world..."  Ephesians 1:4

 

Inadequate.  Have you ever felt that way?  If you’re a girl,more than likely you have.  Such feelings tend to hit girls more than guys, and it’s something I grew up believing to be truth about myself.  Not because my parents didn’t love me, believe in me, and give me every opportunity to have those feelings of positive self-worth. No, not at all.  In fact, my dad was my biggest fan.  I can remember hearing him always brag on me to my relatives about “this or that” all the time.  But there were other events in my life that affected me so negatively that despite my parents best efforts, I grew up not believing in myself.  It wasn’t even a battle that I struggled with – it was truth I believed. 

Looking back, it was as if I was invisible.  I went through the motions of life, but no one recognized "the real me” inside.  In fact, out of my graduating class of 12 (yes, it was a small Christian school!)  I was the only person not listed in the yearbook as “Most likely to…”  In truth, I at least thought I would make it as the “Class Clown” – quick wit has always been one of my assets, thanks to my dad.  But no, several people were named to several categories, but when it was all said and done, I was the only one not named to anything.  I was invisible, and I believed I was in inadequate.  Some may have pegged me as such; others never pegged me at all.

Then I met my husband. When we started dating, he spoke truth into my life.  He told me all the reasons I was worthy.  He told me all the reasons God says I’m worthy.  He pointed out my successes; ones I had shoved under the rug as a “fluke.” In truth, he taught me to re-program the way I thought about myself.  Most of my friends who have known me only as an adult would never believe how I used to struggle with self-worth.

Over the last few weeks, some things have happened that have brought my emotional state of mind right back to where I was before meeting my husband.  I’ve had some situations with friends that have left me feeling crushed, stepped-on, worthless, inadequate, and even invisible.  When we are at our weakest, that’s when the enemy attacks, and that’s exactly what he a few weeks ago - with a vengeance.  The first part of that week was especially bad, as I played and replayed in my head the situations that had occurred.  I questioned friendships.  I questioned motives.  I questioned me.  I questioned God.  My heart hurt.

On one hand, I knew the truth – what God says about me.  But I somehow couldn’t connect the truth in my mind with my emotions and the pain I was feeling in my heart.  I spent about a week of my quiet time just praying, trying to refresh in the Lord. I’ve been reading a book called “Captivating” by John & Stasi Eldredge – it’s the female version of “Wild at Heart.”   I highly recommend it, but actually, it only exacerbated some of those feelings that had surfaced.  I’m usually a quick reader, but some of the things in this book hit nerves that ran so deep that I literally could only absorb a few pages at a time.  God has really convicted me that if unhealthy thoughts are present, they need to be dealt with and turned over to Him.

The other thing God is showing me is that I need to be more transparent.  Sometimes we put on our "happy face” and don’t let others see the pain inside.  On the flip side, sometimes we’re so busy in our own world that we don’t stop to take time to care about the people around us.  I wonder how many of my friends feel invisible and inadequate…and I’ve never even taken the time to notice.  I wonder how many people I consider “friends” don’t even consider me the same because I don’t show it in my actions, because I don’t notice or take time to care about them. 

Jesus says in John 8:32 says “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  Contextually, the verse is speaking about salvation. But I have been claiming this verse in relation to unhealthy thoughts and feelings, too.

Think of it this way. About 4 years ago, I went for my annual physical.  I had been losing weight, and at the time of the appointment, I weighed less than the year before.  I was proud of myself, and I wasn’t expecting my doctor’s next words.  “If you don’t lose weight, it’s not a matter of if you’re going to have a heart attack, it’s a matter of when.” 

Do you know what that did to me emotionally?  I went to the van, and I literally cried myself into a tailspin.  I gave up on losing weight and figured it wasn’t worth it if that was the response I received from my doctor.  Eventually, I gained back almost everything I had lost.

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  The BIble also says in Isaiah 1 "Come let us reason together."  As I reflect on that incident with my doctor, now I can think clearly without the emotional impact of the situation; I can reason out the truth.  The truth was that there is no heart disease anywhere in my family.  The truth was that my blood pressure has always been very low, probably averaging 105 over 70.  The truth was that my cholesterol was only slightly elevated.  My weight, well, ok, I’ll give her that one as truth – I was overweight.  But do you think it was truth that a heart attack was eminent?  I don’t think so….at least not yet, anyway.

It’s the same thing with the unhealthy emotions I have been dealing with.  I have to use the reasoning side of my brain and separate emotion from fact.  By God’s grace, I know the truth, I have claimed it once again, and the truth has set me free. The devil may try to convince me otherwise down the road, but for now, I’m claiming victory.

I know there are other friends who are struggling with self-worth, and hopefully by my transparency, God can encourage you.  Too often we put a mask on and just let others see the smiles.  One of my
favorite verses is in Proverbs 27:17  “Iron sharpens iron.”  Friends, let’s sharpen each other, but in order to do so, we have to let others know the real “you” inside. 

Look for those people in your life that may feel invisible.  Sometimes they can hide it really well.  Take time to dig a little deeper into their lives instead of staying on the surface.  Make time for them.  You have no idea how God can use you to make a difference.

 

There’s a snake in my garden
That slithers near me again
To rouse pain deep within
Wounds suppressed years before.  Forgotten.

And it’s speaking so softly,
“You’ll never be worthy.” 
Those words, how they haunt me.
“You’re nothing and you always will be.”

Then the whispers get louder
It hisses, and  I cower.
Immobile.  No power.
To refute this rattle in my ear.

At a crisis of belief
Lies crafted to deceive
Pierce through and steal my peace.
As venom taints this fragile bloodstream.

Then I read in God’s love note
While searching for the antidote
He chose me – that’s truth you know
And the snake, he just seeks to devour.

Prince of deceit, no one can tame.
With spewing lies and careful aim.
He attacks with darts of shame.
But my Shield – He will win in the end.

There’s a snake in my garden
That slithers near me again
To rouse pain deep within
Wounds suppressed years before. Forgotten.

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

Meet Me on the Mountain...

It’s been a while since I’ve actually posted.  In truth, I’ve started a half dozen blogs since the last one.  But my husband has been traveling 3 of the last 4 weeks, and well, by the time I got around to finish what I started, it no longer seemed relevant.  This one is different, though.  It’s the sole one I’ve started in the last month or so that I feel compelled to finish.  Every time I have re-visited it, I have written a little more (as time has permitted) and as I’ve studied the passage below, I know this time God wanted me to finish what I started.  So here we go…  

“Meet Me on the Mountain”

“Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go.  When they saw him, they worshipped him; but some doubted.  Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”  Matthew 28:16-20

In our last life group a few weeks ago, we discussed the passage above.   As I said, my husband was out of town (actually out of the country in Africa!) so one of our group members Scott Fletcher led our Bible Study discussion.  He pointed out that Jesus told the disciples to rendezvous with Him and meet Him at a certain mountain.  It was a designated meeting place.  Then Scott asked our group, “Why do you think Jesus did that?”

Everyone in the room sat in silence.  At first, the question seemed as difficult as the final question on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” and everyone in the room had already used up all of our life-lines.  In truth, at least for me, I had to absorb the whole scenario.  I’ve read through Matthew countless times, but this little detail about the disciples meeting Jesus on the mountain is something I’ve never even noticed before.  So when Scott asked it, I was intrigued by the entire scene and decided I was going to study it in more depth later.

The next morning, and for several days following, I did my best to study this passage.  I tried to dig a little deeper into this part about “Meet me on the Mountain.”  I tried to find out which mountain they met on in Galilee.  I tried to find out how I never heard about or even realized this fact about Jesus designating the meeting place of the mountain.  But as I studied, instead of everything becoming more clear, it only got more clouded. 

As you probably know, Matthew, Mark and Luke are called the synoptic Gospels, because much of their content is parallel, but with each book written and slanted toward its intended audience.  So as I set out to find the parallel passage to Matthew 28 in the other Gospels, I started to get a bit overwhelmed and confused.  I flipped back and forth in my Bible looking for answers.  But as best I could tell, none of the other Gospels mention about this mountain in Galilee where Jesus met with the disciples, at least not that I could find. 

In fact, some people argue that Scripture contradicts itself because they believe this passage in Matthew does indeed have parallel passages in Luke 24, Mark 16, and Acts 1.  You see, Matthew says they were in Galilee when Jesus charged the disciples with what we know as “The Great Commission.”  However, if the parallel passages for this are also found in Luke 24, Mark 16, and Acts 1, then Jesus wasn't in Galilee with the disciples - He was in Jerusalem.  Because of this, some people say the Bible isn't accurate, and you can't trust anything in it.

Now let me say unequivocally: I believe in the inerrancy of Scripture – the complete and total infallible Word of God; therefore, I also believe there must be an answer to this and any potential conflict one might find in Scripture.  So I dug a little deeper.  One thing I found is that Matthew typically wrote thematically and not always chronologically.  Additionally, the accounts found in Luke 24, Mark 16, and Acts 1 all end with the ascension of Jesus into heaven, while Matthew 28 does not.  The only logical conclusion I can come to is that the accounts listed in these chapters are not actually parallel passages – they were different accounts of (at least) two different meetings between the disciples and Jesus.  Yes, the messages were parallel, but think about it.  How many times do we tell our children the same message, either because they do not “get it” the first time, or because it’s so important that they need to hear it again for the sake of emphasis?  If I believe the Bible, then I believe the whole Bible and I take it at face value.  If there seems to be contradiction, there must be a reason for it, and I need to dig deeper.  In this case, I believe the two scenes described are different encounters between Jesus and the disciples.  Take some time to go read these passages for yourself.  Don’t take my word for it, because I’ve said it many times – I’m no scholar!

Anyway, back to Scott’s question in our Life Group.  “Why do you think Jesus told the disciples to meet Him on the mountain?”  It took me a few moments , but I finally broke the silence in the room.  I have no idea if I was right or not, but I said that I thought Jesus wanted the disciples to meet Him on the mountain so they could have a visual image to correlate with the words He would give them there.

Put yourself in the disciples shoes.  Picture being on the mountain with Jesus as He said, “All authority is given to me in heaven and on earth...Go and make disciples of all nations…”  I can just see Jesus using His hands to express the words coming out of His mouth.  I can see Him lifting them up as He said "All authority is given to me in heaven"...and then down as He said "earth" and then finally outstretching His hand to the view beyond and below as He said the word "all" in  "Go and make disciples of ALL nations."  I can picture it, but how I would have loved to be there to experience this “Great Commission” first-hand   To see the nations below.  To hear and watch how Jesus articulated those words! 

Caution: Promo for a friend forthcoming. 

For the last two  years, I’ve attended a Christian songwriter’s conference in St. Louis called Write About Jesus.  My first year at the conference, I met a guy named David Myers.  At the conference, we can submit one song into a competition, and that first year, David ended up winning with a song called “The Valley.”  David Myers.  Pay attention to that name, because one day it’ll be a household name in Christian music – maybe even in any genre.  No lie. He has an amazing talent, and he’s going places.  Anyway, I can’t think of this story about Jesus telling the disciples to meet Him at the mountain without thinking of David’s song “The Valley.”

The words to “The Valley” are a direct contrast to the situation with the disciples.  They go something like this: 

"I don’t need another mountaintop I need to meet You in the valley.
When I feel everything is lost, that’s when I let Your love consume me.
It’s only in surrender that we’re set free, so meet me in the valley.” 

You can donate and download David’s album at this link: http://www.davidmyersonline.com/.

Be generous.  He's a starving artist with a wife and son.  OK, in truth, he’s probably not really starving, but the Bible is very clear in Luke 10 and I Timothy 5, “A labor is worthy of his wages.”  So be sure to donate after listening and downloading! 

Promo for a friend now over.  Unashamed and unapologetically, we now return to the point of the blog.

Jesus told the disciples to meet Him at the mountain.  David’s song says we need to meet Jesus in the valley.  Pretty big contrast when you think of it.  In truth, I think the disciples needed to be on that mountaintop to see the relevance of making disciples of all nations.  And I need Jesus on my mountaintops, when the view is good and the sky is clear.  But just like David's song, I need Him in the valley, too.  I need Him when my view is obstructed by my surroundings. 

The bottom line is this - I really believe Jesus expects us to meet Him on our mountaintops, our valleys, in the plains, and in the rains.  He has important things to share with me, and I have to show up to learn them.  I have to actively engage myself to listen to what He has to say.  It really doesn't matter where I am in my life's walk - I need Him. 

I find it interesting that the Bible says the eleven disciples came to that mountain to meet Jesus.  When they saw Him, they worshipped Him, but some doubted.  Did you catch that?  Some doubted.  Don't you wonder which ones?  Or am I the only nosey one?  What did they doubt?  Jesus hadn't even started talking yet at that point!  Did some doubt that it was Jesus?  Did they doubt that Jesus was the Christ? 

Bring it home.  In truth, as much as we know God is in control on our mountaintops and if we've made a personal commitment to Him, He's right there with us in our valleys too, do we not often still doubt, just like some of those disciples?  How often do we forget "All authority is given to Him"?  How often do we forget our marching orders of "Go and Make Disciples of all nations."  Yes, how often do we get so focussed on ourselves that we forget God is God on the mountaintop and God is God in the valleys.  Guilty as charged.

I hope you'll never read this passage in Matthew the same way again.  I know I never will.  I love how God uses one little word or phrase to ignite a spark to dig deeper in knowing Him.  And that's exactly what He wants - for my desire to know Him to increase with each passing day.  To go to the Max with Him.  And of course, to meet Him in the valley, and just like the disciples, to meet Him on the mountain.

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com