GodandMe2theMax

"The Whidbey Island Covenant"

 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or pride,
but let us each put the needs of others over our own needs and desires.”
Philippians 2:3 

 

Over the last quarter of 2016, God was stirring in my heart the need to focus on my marriage.  Let it be known that we were not / are not struggling.  In fact, after almost 26 years, I would dare say we are just as strong and close as ever!  But with so many marriages turning into failed statistics, I had this burning desire to find ways to protect my marriage, to guard it, and to find ways to love and honor my husband in a deeper way.  I wanted desperately to take measures to ensure our marriage endures the test of time. 

You see, in 2017, we will officially become empty-nesters.  Amber will be graduating from college and likely moving to North Carolina.  Jacob will graduate from high school, move out, and start college.  It will be just the two of us around here, day in and day out.  I’ve heard that one of the highest divorce rates take place when the kids are raised and move out of the house.  The parents no longer find that they have anything in common, because the ‘kids’ were the common bond.  With us moving into that phase of life, I wanted to be sure that statistic didn’t hit our home.

So as my thoughts intensified about our marriage, I began to scheme about Frank’s Christmas gift.  Frank is a minimalizer.  He doesn’t like me to spend money on him, and he doesn’t even like to exchange cards.  But I knew just what to do for his Christmas gift... 

We spent Christmas on Whidbey Island with family, off the coast of Puget Sound in the state of Washington.  On Christmas morning, for whatever reason, the kids didn’t come down to breakfast with us at the hotel.  It was just the two of us, and it was the perfect time to share with him about my “gift” for him.  So I poured out my heart about wanting to focus on our marriage in the coming year, and together we made what we called “The Whidbey Island Covenant”:  to proclaim 2017 “The Year of our Marriage.”  I won’t go into all the details of that covenant, but one of them was to plan at least one event each quarter to focus on strengthening our marriage.  And we have just completed the first of those weekends!

Frank did tons of research to find an affordable and applicable “marriage retreat” for us.  When he was pastoring in Ohio, we used to teach an incredible course on Marriage Intimacy; in fact, we even led marriage retreats.  So we didn’t want to pay a lot of money to go hear someone speak on “marriage fluff”.  (By that, I mean principles that we already have in place and practice regularly,…“common knowledge” principles of marriage.)  Instead, we wanted to find something that would be “just what we needed”.  And that is exactly what he found!

Whether you think you need to re-focus your marriage or not, I strongly recommend you consider this exact thing.  It doesn’t have to be fancy.  We went to a local hotel, only because we were able to get a really great travel agent rate.  You can plan something like this without going anywhere.  (Quite honestly, I would have preferred my temperpedic over a lumpy hotel bed!)  We had dinner out on Friday and watched a movie.  Then on Saturday morning, we downloaded a series from Family Life called “I Still Do.”  It consisted of four 45 minute sessions by top-notch speakers.  The download was only about $20, and it even came with discussion questions for each section.  We mixed up the weekend with eating out, shopping, playing games, watching the videos & doing the discussion questions.  Overall, it was an incredible weekend of renewing our commitment to love each other for better or worse.  (I highly recommend this series from Family Life!  Just click on the I Still Do to learn more!)

I Corinthians 10:12 warns “Therefore, let anyone who thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall.”  You see, I’m not sharing this because I want everyone to know how strong my marriage is or how awesome my spouse is.  The moment we think our marriage is on solid ground is the moment the enemy attacks.  And the enemy, well he uses some pretty sneaky things to divide marriages.  He uses the lust of the eyes and the pride of life.  He uses our own children to divide us.  He finds ways to have us blame our spouses for anything and everything.  But the one thing I took away from the weekend, the one thing that is solidified even more in my mind is that marriages do not crumble when both spouses have a right relationship with God.  A right relationship with God not only means putting Him first, but it also means not having yourself as the top ranking officer.  Living a self-less life is not easy.  It’s a daily struggle and decision to place “him” (my spouse) as more of a priority than “me”.  It’s a daily choice to decide that I don’t have to be “right”; I don’t have to “win”, and I don’t have to have my way.

No, I don’t share this to brag in any way, shape, or form.  I share this because too often, I hear of friends who have separated.  Friends who are getting divorced.  Irreconcilable differences.  Affairs.  Pornography destroying marriages.  Secret lives.  One spouse left as the victim of the other pursuing their selfish desires.  It breaks my heart to hear of another marriage broken.

In the opening session from “I STILL DO”, Pastor Alistair Begg shared a story that is often repeated during the marriage counseling sessions he conducts.  It goes something like this:  One spouse is complaining about the other, saying she doesn’t do this anymore, and she does that, and I mean, just look at her! – …and she doesn’t support me, and …(insert your own gripe about your spouse.)

Then Pastor Begg will say, “So you’re telling me it’s worse?” 

To which the spouse replies, “YES!”  It’s worse!  So much worse!

And Pastor Begg, in his awesome Scottish accent simply says, “Well, isn’t that what you signed up for?  For better or worse?” 

(Insert time standing still while you chew on the reality of that comment!)

Regardless of your personal faith, I would venture to say if you are married or have been married in the past, you said your marriage vows in the presence of witnesses and before God.  We promised to stick with our spouse for better or worse. 

One day, it will turn “worse”.  It is inevitable.  We get older; we get plumper; we are just not as attractive as we once were.  Our spouse hurts us.  We have financial issues.  Our kids have special needs.  Life is just stinkin’ hard, and it’s easier to take the frustrations of life out on our spouse than it is to figure out a way to work through the problems.

But you know what?  Yes, there will be a day when “worse” will come.  But “better” can be just around the corner.  Just because it’s “worse” now doesn’t mean it will stay that way or progress further downhill.  We promised to love selflessly, through the good & bad; sickness & in health, as long as we are alive. 

I probably wrote down 50 different Bible verses this week for practical living in my marriage.  But the one that sticks with me…the one that I believe is really key to success in marriage is Philippians 2:3:  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or pride, but let us each put the needs of others over our own needs and desires.”  This weekend was such a good reminder of how easy it is to put myself first and how important it is to make sure that doesn't happen.

I close with this final thing…
A few years ago, after hearing of yet another casualty in our church, my friend Jennifer Davis & I wrote the song below.  May we never consider our marriages disposable, and may we always choose to fight for our family; selflessly; putting others before ourselves.

Verse One
One by one, they're falling apart.
Marriages ending.  Broken hearts.
They made it this long for the kids.
But they're all grown, so it's time to quit.
They promised to love through thick and thin
But somehow the outlook changed to grim.
It's over.  There's no love anymore.
Pack your bags.  There's the door.

Chorus
You've got to fight for your family.
Quit fighting for yourself.
Selfless living.  Be forgiving.
Don't you know true love is never ending?
It's time to take a stand.
And fight with all your might...for your family.

Verse Two
He picked up the phone but just couldn’t dial.
She sat there wishing they could talk for a while.
Regret sank in as time slipped by.
Was he too late?  Was it really goodbye?
He knew he’d been selfish.  It was time to admit
All the ways he’d hurt her before calling it quits.
“Can we meet tonight?” he cried on the phone
“God’s been working on me.  I want to come home.”

Tag
We live our lives throwing daggers and knives
Disposable husbands.  Disposable wives.
But imagine the changes that God will do
If others are considered better than you.

Chorus
You've got to fight for your family.
Quit fighting for yourself.
Selfless Living.  Be forgiving.
Don't you know true love is never ending?
It's time to take a stand.
And fight with all your might...for your family.

 

Pray with me, will you?  Pray for the families you know that are struggling?  Pray they won't give up?  Fight for them in your very own war room / prayer room.  If you are struggling, please tell me.  I want to pray for you.  Don't give up when it's "worse"...it can get better, but it takes two people putting God first to make it happen.  "Above all else, guard your heart, for it determines the course of your life."  Proverbs 4:23

 

 

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Observations from Amsterdam...

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery...
You, my brothers, wre called to be free.  
But do not use  your freedom to indulge the sinful nature;
rather, serve one another in love.  
The entire law is summed up in a single command:  
'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "  
Galatians 5:1, 13-14

 

For those who are my friends on Facebook, you know that I've spent the last week primarily in The Netherlands.  The purpose of the trip was for work, but I had the privilege of going in a few days early with a friend so I could see the city.  
I've been through the airport in the past, but I've never been able to go experience the Dutch culture, and this was my perfect opportunity.  

But as I reflect on my time there, I have some observations to share...

First, most Americans are lazy.  
OK, I really can't fairly speak for the majority of Americans, but I can speak for myself -- I am lazy.  There, I said it.  Over the last week, I walked and hiked more than I have in the entire last year, and that even includes the walking conducted on past shopping excursions (that's a lot, by the way!).  

When I want to go somewhere in the USA, I jump in the car and take off.  I don't use public transportation.  And, I definitely never consider jumping on my bike that is hanging in my garage, probably full of cobwebs, untouched since our move to this house 5 years ago.

But in Amsterdam, a motorized vehicle is a minority.  Bicycles, well they are the majority.  There are multi-level parking garages full of them.  There are no cars in the garages; no, they are 100% full of every kind of bicycle you can imagine.  Old, new, locked, unlocked, and probably some broke ones, too.

 

And that leads me to my next observation.  In Amsterdam, pedestrians do not have the right of way.  Ever.  Although I never saw an accident while I was there, I did experience my friends saving my life time and time again.  Just when I thought it was safe to cross the street, someone grabbed me to hold me back, because a bus, taxi, or more often, 50 bicyclists were about to converge on the same area where my feet were headed.

 

 

Third, Amsterdam has some pretty delectible treats to offer.  
From the Stroupe Waffles I brought home with me, to the breads, and the incredible fresh fruits, combined with the various pastries, well, let's just say that this girls's sweet tooth was pretty content.  My favorite meal was at this place below.  The man in the picture makes fresh crepes with each order. My friend and I each ordered a different crepe and then split them, so we could try them both.  So by the time I left, I had a half of a mozzarella crepe, a half of a strawberry crepe, topped with nutella and chocolate, and then finally, for desert, I had a pastry filled with strawberries, nutella, chocolate, ice cream and real whipped cream.  My taste buds thanked me for taking them.  My hips did not.

 

 

Next observation: Amsterdam is a beautiful city.  Truly, some of the features are incredible and the architecture is gorgeous!  I love the way that parts of the old city has seemingly stopped in time.

On top of that, Amsterdam hosts the Anne Frank house.  I could have spent hours upon hours reading and re-reading the excerpts from the Diary of Anne Frank as I toured the house she and her family hid in.  The outside of the house was under renovation, so the only shot I got was this one below.  No pictures were permitted inside, just like in the Van Gogh museum, so you'll have to go for yourself to check it out.  It's a must see, and you also really need to buy tickets in advance if you don't want to wait forever in line for a timed entrance.

However, as beautiful as this city is, I guarantee you I could live the rest of my life without passing another sex shop or storefront selling "magic mushrooms", and in doing so, I would be fully complete.  

Depending on what list you read, Amsterdam either tops the list of the ten most sinful cities in the world or at least ranks in the top 5.  While I was there, I took a canal cruise, and the recording that told about the sites in the city said something like this, "Amsterdam was founded by a group of citizens wanting freedom.  Amsterdam is not known for its great churches and cathedrals, but rather for its red-light district."  

Friends, from my observation, let me tell you, this is a true statement.  Dispersed between the souvenir shops and restaurants downtown is every kind of immoral site you can imagine.  I saw a sign that said, "The sex workers do not want to be photographed."  I passed by at least one "Sex Museum", probably multiple ones.  Mechanical things I can't really describe in this blog were openly on display in windows.  I walked across a sidewalk with a sculpture of a woman's breasts with a man's hand on one of them, which of course seemed completely appropriate, given the city I was visiting.

In The Fault in Our Stars, John Green wrote, "Some tourists think Amsterdam is a city of sin, but in truth, it is a city of freedom.  And in freedom, most people find sin."  

As I think about this quote, I realize the depth of truth it offers.  Freedom.  As a Christian, I believe Christ died to give us freedom, freedom in Him.  He doesn't impose His will on me; I have a choice.  I can choose to pursue fleshly desires and live a life of sin, or I can choose to deny self and follow Christ.  And I have to ask, which one offers true freedom?

When you're surrounded by the "norm" being the antithesis of everything you believe in, the freedom of choosing sin over Christ is a real possibility for even the most seasoned Christian.  I found myself quoting Scripture about renewing my mind and taking every thought captive.  When you're in a foreign land, the enemy quickly whispers, "no one is watching."  Now don’t worry, I didn't visit any inappropriate places while I was there, nor was I even really tempted to do so.  But I did find my mind wandering with curse words being the first thought to enter my brain when I would hit my head on a short doorframe, which is quite unlike me.  (Another observation - the Dutch are apparently not very tall people, and I have several knots on my noggin to support that observation!)  In short (pun intended), It's easy to let your guard down without even knowing you've done it.  

I Corinthians 6:12 says, "Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible, but I will not be mastered by anything."  So I wonder how many freedom seeking people involved in this lifestyle are mastered by it.  I would venture to say there are many addicted, and the freedom they think they have is really no freedom at all.  In reality, they are slaves to the sin.  The Bible says in Hebrews that sin is fun for a season.  Proverbs 16:25 says "There is a way that appears to be right, but the end is death."  

I Peter 5:8 says we have to be sober and alert because the enemy is prowling around looking to devour us.  So my challenge to you (and myself) today is from these Scriptures:

2 Corinthians 10:5 "Demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ."  

Romans 12:-2  "Do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you will be able to prove what is good and acceptable and pleasing to God."

Am I perfect?  No, of course not.  I am a sinner, saved by God's grace.  And please understand I'm not trying to write this with a premise of being a "holier than thou" Christian who does no wrong.  Lord knows that is far from the truth, and if in doubt, just ask my kids who will quickly write an expose on their mother.  

I just want to be the best Beth that I can be in God's eyes, through His strength, not my own.  Even in the midst of the evil, there was so much beauty in Amsterdam that my heart felt a pang about leaving.  But that's how satan works, you know?  Because my final observation is that it doesn't take much for satan to get a foothold on a little piece of your heart, and that little piece can easily turn into a big hunk, and eventually he'll claim squatters rights on a large oversized portion.  His control slowly grows as I let him.

I'll close with one of my favorite songs that I keep on my playlist.  It's by Casting Crowns, and it's called "Slow Fade."  All it takes is for satan to get just a little piece of your heart, and from there, it's a slow fade, so slow, that we often don't even realize it's happened until we've messed up so badly that we hit rock bottom.

Be cautious.  As cautious as pedestrians crossing the road in Amsterdam.  Don't take one step into the street when possible danger (or a bicycle) is headed your way.  Look left.  Look right.  And look left again.  Do a double, even a triple take, because as quickly as bicycles appeared out of nowhere with the intent to run me over, satan himself will attempt to do the same thing.  

 

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray 
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray 
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

 

Grabbing God on the Go...

"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." 
Matthew 11:28

 

Julie Moss.  Not exactly a household name.  Probably most reading this blog have no idea who she is, so let me share her story.  I remember watching ABC sports in 1982 as they showed Julie’s story.  She was participating in the Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii.  This triathlon consists first of a 2.4 mile swim, an 11.2 mile bike ride, and if that isn’t enough, it culminates with a 26.2 mile run – a full marathon.  Julie was in the final leg of the marathon, and she was in the lead.  But a few hundred yards from the finish line, Julie’s legs and body gave out.  No longer could she run to cross the finish line.  In fact, she didn’t even have the strength to walk to it.  Now with just yards from the finish line, the 2^nd place competitor Kathleen McCartney overtook Julie Moss for the lead and went on to win.  But Julie didn’t quit even though her body was shutting down.  Each forward step resulted in her falling to the ground, yet Julie was determined to finish.  On hands and knees, Julie moss crawled to the finish line.  The images are forever written in my mind. 

Why is Julie Moss important today?  Well, in our ABF class this morning, we were talking about the times in our life when God wants us to “be still.”  My husband Frank is our teacher, and he mentioned in passing how our lives are so busy, it’s like we’re a marathon runner.  What happens when they need to be hydrated?  Do they stop and take a break, or do they keep going?  No, they don’t stop, at least never  by choice. As they pass someone along the sidelines of the race, they get handed a Gatorade or a bottle of water.  They drink it or even pour it on themselves, throw the remains on the ground behind them, and they keep running.  They keep going, and they don’t stop. 

Then Frank stopped and said, “How many times do we approach God like that?  How many times do we grab God on the go?”  I started to visualize that concept.  In truth, it’s a profound thought, and he told me later that he had just thought of it ‘on the fly.’  (He’s pretty incredible, that husband of mine!)  Think about it.  How many times do we guzzle God down, as quickly as we can, try to get some spiritual replenishment (at least enough to help us last until the next water pick-up)? How many times do we try to fit Him into our life’s marathon instead of taking time on the sidelines to replenish?

 I sat there with my mind whirling on this subject the rest of the morning in class and honestly, it consumed my thoughts throughout the church service.  My husband had just described my life’s race for the last few weeks and until today, what it would have looked like for about the next month.  I’ve been guilty of “grabbing God on the go”.  Now, some might argue that at least I’m taking time to grab Him, and I would agree with that argument.  Some is always better than none.  But in my heart of hearts, I know I’ve not been taking enough time on the sidelines to be replenished. 

What exactly does "replenish” mean, anyway?  It means "to fill something that had previously been emptied.  Did you get that?  To FILL what had been EMPTIED.  Replenish does not mean to take a few gulps of water so you don’t suffer from dehydration along the way.  It doesn’t mean to add $2 worth of gas to your gas tank when you’re already on empty with the warning light on.  No, that won’t get you very far, especially with the cost of gas these days!  To be filled, I have to be emptied.  Emptied of myself.  My pride.  My agenda.  My busy-ness.  Emptied so that God can replenish and fill me up so much that I can’t be filled “no more!”

This morning, God convicted me that I’ve not been allowing Him to replenish me.  I’ve been running on empty, trying to get by with just a buck of gas in my tank each day.  But that’s not His plan.  He wants me to sit down, shut up, and stop moving long enough for Him to replenish me. He wants me to just find rest in Him. He wants me to take a break from this marathon of life and drink me up some God-Gatorade.  (Yes, I know, that’s not very good use of the English language; just consider it used for the sake of emphasis!)

Now, you know me.  I’m not a runner.  I run to the kitchen.  I run to the bathroom.  I might even run up the stairs to catch the ringing phone, but that’s where my running usually stops.  However, on a regular basis, my schedule runs me, and as of late, it’s been running me completely ragged.  The funny thing is that I really believe God is using me in ways that I never dreamed possible, just by me being available to Him.  But the problem is that as Christians, we can get involved too much in ‘doing and serving’ that we neglect our own relationship with the Lord.  What good am I to the body of Christ if I'm not spiritually healthy myself?

As I was checking to make sure my facts were correct for this blog, I found out that Julie Moss had never even trained for that Ironman Triathlon.  She was a college student who participated in the event as part of her research for her exercise physiology thesis.  Certainly, Julie Moss is an inspirational story, one of great determination and perseverance.  Yet, I can’t help but wonder if she had actually trained and conditioned herself, maybe even if she would have just taken some time to stop along that 26.2 mile run to replenish, maybe just maybe, things would be different.  Perhaps she would be remembered for winning that triathlon instead of crawling across the finish line on hands and knees. 

I don't know about you, but when the finish line is in sight, I don’t want to be crawling on hands and knees to make it.  Like Kathleen McCartney, the winner of that Ironman Triathlon, I want to make the right moves along the race to run to the finish line, not just make it there crawling.  For that to be true, the “grabbing God on the go” must end.  No more guzzling Him down while I'm running my race, leaving the scraps on the ground behind me.  I've been running on fumes, and I'm so thankful God chose to use a little unplanned comment to drive home a big life lesson for me today on being replenished with some God-Gatorade.

 

Renew me, Lord, as I run this race.
Break through me, Lord, occupy each space.
Remind me, Lord, to take time to rest.
Replete me, Lord, so I’m at my best.

 

PS - A short video of Julie’s Ironman completion can be found at this link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbWsQMabczM

 

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

Perspective Lenses of Praise...

“I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.”  Psalm 104:33

“Praise the LORD. How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him!  Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises!” Psalm 47:1,6

 

On the way to church on Sunday, I heard an old Amy Grant song, “Sing Your Praise to the Lord.”  It’s probably been years since I heard that song, and even longer since I actually focused on the content and meaning of the song. To be honest, the introduction and instrumentals in the song are so cool, that my brain has always been drawn to the music instead of paying attention to the words.  When I heard the intro, I opened the window a little on a cool Texas morning, cranked up the volume, and tried my best to sing with Amy.  With each breath, each attempt to spit out a line of words that I’d not thought of for years, the meaning behind them came to life, perhaps for the first time.

Sing your praise to the Lord, Come on everybody,
Stand up and sing...one more Hallelujah,
Give your praise to the Lord, I can never tell you,
Just how much good...that it's Gonna do ya
Just to sing...anew...The song your heart first learned to sing when He
First gave His life...to you...The life goes on and so must the song…

Singing praise to the Lord isn’t just for Sunday, you know.  Our praises should be constant, not a set time to “praise” but a state of being.  Yet, what happens when I begin to focus on my own life’s problems?  Immediately, I stop praising.  The focus is on ‘me” instead of God.  It’s misdirected.

I love the line “life goes on and so must the song…”  How true! Nearly everyone can identify something we are going through right now that is causing pain or emotional anguish.  I sure can, and it doesn’t take even half a second to identify it, either.  That’s how close to the surface it is.  For you, maybe it’s the loss of a job or even being stuck in a job that consumes you.  Maybe you feel like your family is falling apart.  Maybe you’re a student who is overwhelmed with your workload.  It could be financial burdens, health issues, a wayward child…  Yes, we all have something.  But God doesn’t promise us a life without problems; that’s not what being a Christian is all about.  He does promises us that He will be here for us, and He promises abundant life in Him.  IN HIM.  Not in ME.  The only way to have that is to stop the self- focus and direct it toward Him.  “So life goes on, and so must the song.”

You gotta sing...again...The song born in your soul when you
First gave your heart...to Him...Sing His praises, once more
Sing your praise to the Lord, Come on everybody,
Stand up and sing...one more Hallelujah,
Give your praise to the Lord, I can never tell you,
Just how much good...that it's Gonna do ya

Think about the joy you had in your heart when you invited Jesus to take control.  As a small child, I remember kneeling down one Sunday afternoon with my mom in my bedroom.  She explained to me what the Bible says about becoming a Christian. As best I knew how, I prayed and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins and take control of my life.  Sure, I wasn’t a drug dealer or alcoholic, but I was a sinner just the same.  If you were a child like me when you made that decision, maybe you can’t exactly relate to this song and describe the joy you felt.  But I can sure describe the joy I have today because of that decision so many years ago.  He has spared my life from so many bad decisions because I made the choice at a young age to give Him control.  As I sang these words, I was reminded of the countless blessings God has given to me because I belong to Him.  No matter what, I gotta keep singing; keep praising.  “I can never tell you, just how much good that it’s gonna do ya!”

Just to sing...aloud...The song that someone is dying to hear
Down in the madd'ning crowd...As you once were before your heard the song,
You gotta let them know...The truth is a life to shine upon the way,
So maybe they...can go...Sing His praises, once more
Sing your praise to the Lord, Come on everybody,
Stand up and sing...one more Hallelujah,
Give your praise to the Lord, I can never tell you,
Just how much good...that it's Gonna do ya

How many missed opportunities have I had because my focus has been on me and my problems?  I don’t think I want to know the answer to that. Would you?  How many people around us are dying to hear about Jesus?  OK, in today’s western society, it’s not like they are knocking on the door begging us all the time.  But the truth is that people are searching for life’s answers, and it’s up to us to point them to the truth.  A lot of people know about God -- even believe in Him.  But so many have a misconception of Him and what the Bible says about becoming one of His children.  Just because they believe doesn't mean they're a Christian.  The Bible says in James 2:19 "even the demons believe!"  We must be vocal.  We must tell them the truth that it's only by putting your faith in Christ and Christ alone for salvation, repenting of sin, and giving Him control that is TRUTH.  We must sing aloud!  We must let them know “truth is a life to shine upon the way!”

Just to let the name of the Lord...Be praised, both for now, and evermore,
Praise Him all ye servants, Give Your praise to the Lord, Come on everybody,
Stand up and sing...one more Hallelujah,
Give your praise to the Lord, I can never tell you,
Just how much good...that it's Gonna do ya
Just to sing, sing sing...
Come on, sing, sing, sing...
I can hear you now, sing, sing, sing...

I learned a long time ago that when the path of life is blurry and you can’t quite see the way, all I need to do is put on my “Perspective Lenses.” Once I see myself and my problems with God’s perspective lenses, things start to become clear.  I may think my problems are ginormous.  (Yes, that’s a real word by the way, added to the dictionary in 2007!)  But my perspective lenses tell me otherwise.  They bring truth to focus.  They tell me that God has a plan.  It’s my choice to put this song into action each moment of the day.

So are you with me?  Are you going to praise Him in the good and the bad?  Are you going to praise Him “now and evermore?”  Are you going to stand with me and sing “one more hallelujah!”?  “I could never tell ya, how much good that it’s gonna do ya.  Just to sing, sing, sing…Come on sing, sing, sing…I can hear you now, sing, sing, sing!”

 

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

Low-Carb or High-Carb Christian?

I've seen it work, and you've probably heard it before. Watch your carb intake, and you'll lose weight... Carbs are not good for you because they turn to sugar... Don't eat too much bread... And how many labels have you read wondering how many grams of carbs are in it? Hundreds, even thousands? From the recommendation of our doctor, my husband has been following this little low-carb diet plan, and he's been quite successful with weight loss. Physically, it does seem to work, but spiritually, well, that's another story.

This morning I was reading in John chapter six, and I realized a funny thing. We should not be low-carb Christians, spiritually speaking. In fact, it's just the opposite. Jesus calls Himself the Bread of Life! If we come to Him, we'll never go hungry and if we believe in Him, we'll never go thirsty. We should be craving this Holy Carb! (Not intended to be sacrilegious!) But the truth is, how many of us don't take the time to eat of the Bread of Life? Sure, we got our initial helping when we made the decision to follow Him, but what about the ongoing Carb intake (with a Capital C!)? Are we seeking a high-Carb diet each day with Jesus as the main ingredient? How complacent are we in prioritizing our Spiritual food intake?

I remember that old School House Rock jingle from Saturday mornings (yes, I know, I'm dating myself!) It went something like this: "You are what you eat from your head down to your feet..." Are we living, eating, breathing Jesus? Can people who know us see that we are indulging in this Delicacy by what they see on the outside? Is he the sole One we crave?

So which is better? A low-Carb or a high-Carb diet as a Christian?

Luke 6:34 "Sir, from now on, give us this Bread."

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Pulling off the blindfold...

When I was a teenager, my friend Anne and I used to take turns blindfolding each other while the other would drive around town. When we were done, the one who was blindfolded had to try to guess where we ended up. We always tried to be pretty creative with our turns and circles, so much that in the end, no matter how hard we tried to follow the turns, the guess of the final destination was usually wrong. Our sneaky lefts and rights had left the other disoriented enough to not know the truth.

That's where I was last night. Blindfolded by some sneaky lefts and rights thrown at me from the deceiver himself...so much to the point that I was disoriented from the truth.

Do you ever get in one of those moods? Maybe you can relate. Everything sets you on edge, and you have this angst in your spirit. Well yesterday evening, I was overcome with that exact emotion. I didn't feel it earlier in the day, but I have a feeling it's been there for a while...building. One thing set me off, and needless to say I got pretty ugly. And stayed that way. Even after everyone went to bed, I laid in bed, unable to sleep, just being plain miserable. Miserable with everyone around me. Miserable with situations out of my control. Miserable with my emotions. Miserable with...me.

As I often do when I can't sleep, I started praying. It's amazing when you ask God to reveal Himself to you how His Holy Spirit does just that. It didn't take long for me to see the problem. Me. (It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out - the problem is always me!) I've had a busy week, back and forth to Jacksonville, Florida, lots of extra hours at work to catch up from being out of the office, and something had to give. Unfortunately, I made the wrong choice, and the thing that "gave" for me was my quiet time.

As a seasoned Christian, I made a calculated error. "It won't matter if I miss spending a few days with my best friend. I'll catch up later, when I have time." The truth is, for me, if I'm not seeking God every single day, then I'm not growing. I went to bed thanking God that His mercies are fresh every morning. I went to bed knowing changes needed to be made in my morning schedule, and today will be different. He removed that blindfold that was disorienting me.

This morning as I sat down to read, the Lord brought my attention to these verses in 2 Peter 1:5-9.

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. "

"Make every effort." Hmmm...nope, definitely I haven't made every effort to do much of anything but work lately. Ok, well, maybe I've made every effort to do the exact opposite of some of these things. Truth is, it comes so naturally that I didn't have to try much at all. I've defininitely not made every effort to add to my faith goodness, knowledge (and we won't even go there with the self-control issue when it comes to my raging temper the last few days!)...perseverance, godliness, mutual affection (what's that?!?) and love. Love? I've been so blinded.

"Add to your faith." ... "Increasing measure." Not only does God give me a big list of things I should be working on here, but He says to add to my faith and possess these qualities in increasing measure. If I can't measure my growth, if these things are not being added to my character daily, then it doesn't matter how seasoned of a Christian I am, I'm not in God's will, and I have been blindfolded.

You know, most people who are blind do not lose their sight overnight. Sure, some are born blind, and some have injuries that cause immediate blindness, but the majority of people lose their sight, over time. It's a process. And that's just how satan gets us. A little at a time. He chinks away at us when we least suspect it, when our guard is down, hoping to disorient us to the truth of who we are and where we should be in Christ.

I decided I would write what was on my heart about this, and I was shocked to see that I haven't even blogged once this year. Not once. Shame on me. I love writing. I love sharing what God's been doing in my life. But it looks like that blindfold has been attached a little longer than even I was aware.

Let me never forget what God has done for me. How he saved me. What a filthy person I could be and am without Him. Let me never allow the enemy to blindfold me, even for a moment. He is the great deceiver. He will go to no lengths to make lefts and rights and trick me into thinking I should be somewhere else. I am God's child. I will add to my faith. Increase in measure. And I refuse to go blind.

--Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Do it ALL for Him...

I Corinthians 10:31 "Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do ALL to the glory of God."

It's early on a Friday evening, but bedtime for me is right around the corner. I'm a resident chauffer and judge for Amber's debate tournaments, and tomorrow's tournament is 90 minutes away. We have to be at the high school at 5 AM, ready to pull out of the parking lot. (What was I thinking by volunteering! Someone please slap me!)

Anyway, tonight, Amber was working on her speech for the tournament tomorrow. She has memorized and prepared a 8-9 minute speech which she will delivery without notecards in a category called OO - Original Oratory. If you know Amber, you know she's a perfectionist. She got second place at the last tournament. Tomorrow, she wants it perfect, she wants it right, and sure, let's be honest, she would love to have first place. What child wouldn't after putting all that work into something? But the problem is, this week, Amber is fighting a bad throat infection, she's had little sleep, averaging about 4 hours a night, due to all the homework, and she's simply sick and exhausted.

Amber's coach is awesome, and he really knows how to motivate the students to better themselves. That's the sign of a good coach, really, when students want to do better to make the coach proud. Anyway, of course Amber wants to do good for him, too. But as she got frustrated with her soar throat and inability to speak the way she wanted, I finally had to remind her of our little family motto, one we've used over and over as she's grown up and been in different competitions. "You don't have to be the best, you just have to do your best." (She quoted it with me once she heard the first few words!)

We talked it through.

"Have you done all you can to prepare, Amber?"
"Yes, mom, I really have. But I'm still struggling with this."
"It doesn't matter, if you've done your best, that's all that matters" I said.

And then I reminded her, "First place doesn't matter. You do not need to win for your coach or even for yourself. You are doing this for God. Period. If you've done your best, that's all He expects, and you've already accomplished your goal."

God used the truth of His Word to relax her. I could see a change. Sure, her throat was still hurting really badly, and yes, she still had things to get done tonight, but I know He provided peace in her stress.

So as I write tonight, I'm contemplating that same thought. In all things, do I give 100% for God's glory? In my work? As a mom? In my domestic duties? (A-hem, no laughing! This is time for self-reflection!) As a wife? In my quiet time? In my prayer time? With my friends? Do I give it my best? Do I do it for His glory?

I love how God uses my children to teach me how far I still have to go. I can't be a know-it-all mom with all the answers when He's teaching me how imperfect I am, with so many failures. And that's just it, even when I give my best, I'm never going to be FIRST, because I AM SECOND, and that's cool with me...as long as I do it ALL for Him.

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Twenty more hours...

Twenty more hours.

That's how much longer I have until my husband returns from Africa. Just twenty more hours. In many ways, this has been the roughest trip for me with him away. You see, when we're most vulnerable, that's when the enemy tries to attack. And attack he did the last two weeks...mostly in our family. Many of you know Jacob's past health struggles, and unfortunately, they have decided to come to the forefront again, just in time for me to deal with them all on my own.

And therein lies the problem. The words "on my own." How often do we go through life, thinking we're 'on our own' with the feelings we have. We have our little pity parties because things aren't going the way we think they should. We think we're the only one who feels this way. We focus so much on ourselves that we forget to look outward. It's when we look at others, we realize how insignificant and small the problems we deal with really are. We get ourselves up in a tizzy thinking about all the issues at hand instead of thanking God for his bountiful blessings.

And truly, I am so blessed and rich with friends in my life. While Frank has been gone, one friend brought me dinner, another family had us over for dinner, and another family took us out to a restaurant for dinner. How awesome is that? Beyond words. Lord, forgive me for thinking "I'm on my own." Even more, Lord, You are here. You are here when Jacob struggles with behavior. You are here when Amber struggles with more hours of homework than she gets sleep. You are here in my sleepless nights of solitude. You are here, and I am never alone. Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you or forsake you."

And so, twenty more hours. That's twenty hours to turn my frown upside down. Twenty more hours to offer a helping hand to someone else. That's twenty more hours to try to encourage someone else. And that's twenty more hours to praise my God in the storms of life.

So when you're in a countdown, like I currently am, holding your breath until that moment you've waited for finally arrives, instead of trying to hold out, use every minute that you can for God. Praise Him. And thank Him that you have just twenty more hours.

 

Psalm 66:1-7 "Shout with joy to God, all the earth! Sing the glory of His name; make His praise glorious. Say to God, ‘How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you. All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, the sing praise to your name. Come and see what God has done, how awesome his works in man’s behalf! He turned the sea into dry land; they passed through the waters on foot, let us rejoice in Him. He rules forever by His power, his eyes watch the nations – let not the rebellious rise up against Him.’”

Who is my god? The object of my affection...

Yesterday I downloaded a new book on my kindle called "Craving God: A 21 Day Devotional" by Lisa TerKeurst.  It was free, and published by Zondervann, so I figured I couldn't go wrong.  The book is about craving God instead of food.  (At least with the given title and my limited reading so far, that's what I can tell.)

As I read the first chapter, I was quickly allerted to the fact that this "devotional" had only a vague reference to Psalm 139 with us being fearfully and wonderfully made.  Sure, the content has been good so far, but when I finished the first chapter, I definitely didn't feel "fed" spiritually.  You know, just because something says "devotional" on it, doesn't mean it's filled with God's Word.  And to grow spiritually, we have to be cautious to not fill our mind with words from good people...we have to focus on God's inspired Word.  Ironic, yes, coming from a blogger.  But true, nonetheless.

Like I said, the content has been good, and I'm going to finish this book.  Struggle with food has always been a life-long battle for me.  Here's some quotes from the book so far...

"I had to get honest enough to admit that I relied on food more than I relied on God, I craved food more than I craed God."

"Is it possible we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?  Now before you delete this, hear me out.  This question is crucial.  We have to see the purpose of our struggle with food as something more than getting to wear smaller sizes and receiving compliments.  Shallow desires produce shallwo efforts...The process of getting healthy has to be about more than just losing weight and focusing on ourselves.  It's not about adjusting our diets and hoping for good physical results.  It's about recalibrating our souls so that we want to change for the right reasons."

But as I contemplated the words from the book, I turned to God's book, and for whatever reason, he led me to Psalm 23.  The Lord is my shepherd.  I shall not be in want.  Interesting that the Lord led me to that.  If I am craving food, maybe I'm not letting the Lord be my shepherd.  Hmmm...  He leads me...He restores me...He guides me...He's with me...He prepares my table...

So as I contemplated the combination of my new little "devotional" book with God's book, He led me to write this poem this morning.  It's a question we each have to ask ourselves, not once, but every single day.  Who or what is our god?  Who or what is the object of our affection?  I'm renewed today with an even greater desire to keep my God with a big - G on the throne.

Who is my god?  The object of my affection.

Wake up super early, phone by my bed.
No time for breakfast, gotta get the kids fed.
Must have my coffee, can’t live without it.
Then find time to work out so I can stay fit.

Making good progress, now it’s my time for me.
Kids are at school, and I’m finally free.
On the docket today, shopping and fun.
And of course some facebook while I’m on the run.

A glance at my watch says it’s time to stop
Kids will be home soon and the floors still need mopped.
Dinner is served.  Homework is done.
Kids are in bed.  Watch out tv, here I come.

The end of the day, it’s quickly in sight.
I got it all done, with all of my might.
Almost asleep.  Whoops, gotta say a quick prayer.
Then God speaks back in the dark night air.

“Who is your god?  You’ve replaced Me, you see.
The day is over, but what about Me?
You have time for shopping, you have time for fun.
You have time for friends, but time for me, there’s none.

Who is your god, the coffee, your phone?
Is it your food, your chocolate, am I still on the throne?
Am I King of Your life, ruling supreme?
Or have I been replaced with more important things?”

“But God, I just had so much to do.
Tomorrow will be better.  I’ll find time for You.”
But the pattern continues.  Night after night.
“I’ll change, God.  Tomorrow will start off right.”

Truth be told, nothing changes until the heart is clean
With motives and sin on the table to be seen.
The object of my affection each day must be You.
My big G-God, my provider, my only love true.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Opportunities Lost...

My daughter Amber is one of those teenagers that moms dream of.  She's a content girl who rarely asks for anything.  We are blessed, and considering the headaches that I put my parents through, I don't deserve her.  Definitely. 

Well, Amber's birthday was in May, and figuring out what to give her is always a challenge.  For example, at Christmas time, the only thing on her Christmas list was the Indiana Jones Trilogy.  For real.  True story.  But this year, I came up with a great idea for her birthday gift.  Amber loves American Idol, so I talked to my husband, and we decided to get her American Idol concert tickets.  We've been able to go twice before, and this would be a perfect gift.  However, we couldn't even find four seats together in any of the concerts in the entire state of Texas.  So we quickly made the decision to drive to the Oklahoma City concert.  It would be Amber's birthday gift, not to mention a nice time for our family of four to get away together.

The concert was incredible.  Of the three we've been to, it was by far the best, even though our seats were pretty high up.  As we were getting ready to leave, I stopped to ask my husband Frank if we could go check to see if they were signing autographs.  He quickly denied my motion.  "It's late.  They've never done it before.  Let's go."  Yes, it was a pretty matter-of-fact decision.  I asked again, and I received the same reply.

Now, I'm pretty strong willed.  Usually if I want something, I'll do it.  I have no idea why I didn't follow my normal Beth-instincts and do what I wanted to do...at least asking an usher to confirm my question.  Nonetheless, I complied with my husband.  Yes, a rare moment for me.  We went back to our hotel room, reminiscing about the great evening we had together as a family.

The next morning, we went to IHOP before starting back to our home in Texas.  In the room, two other families were gathered.  We could hear them also talking about their experience at the Idol concert the night before.  Being the nosey person I am, I started to eavesdrop.  However, I didn't like what I was hearing.  One mom was talking about meeting Scotty and Lauren.  Wait.  How could this be?  I piped in across the room.  Did you meet them and get their autograph?  You know the answer I heard.

I looked at Frank with a glare, and a forced smile, trying to be a good example.  I missed my opportunity.  I couldn't believe it.  I had the chance.  I even wore my I AM SECOND t-shirt to the concert, in hopes of meeting Scotty.  I had the chance.  I missed my opportunity.  Over and over the thoughts ran through my mind.  I wasn't mad at him.  I was just frustrated.  I was so close, but obviously so far away.

I had a long ride in the van to think about the situation.  I even brought God into my thoughts.  Imagine that.  I prayed for a better attitude.  And just as quickly as I did, He told me there were plenty of other more important missed opportunites that I should be concerned with.  Missed opportunites to tell people about Him.  I had a chance to tell those people at IHOP about God, but I missed that opportunity as well.

If you follow my blog, you might note that I haven't been writing as much lately.  Actually, I have been doing a lot of writing, but just not a lot of blogging.  God's been using my writing to write songs with one of my best friends.  I don't publish most of them, because one day we hope to be able to get them recorded.  As I contemplated about "Opportunites Lost", the Lord just gave me the poem below.  I hope you'll look for opportunites to share His love with those around you.  Let's do it together!

 

Opportunities Lost
© by Beth Banfill

Colossians 4:5-6  “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Sometime things just happen
And I’ve got no control over them
I miss a chance to fulfill my dream
And I’ll never get it back again.

But life is filled with near misses
Opportunities gone.  Lost kisses.
And it’s so easy to cast the blame
“It’s not my fault.” - playing that game.

Then I hear God’s voice very clearly
While He looks at my tightly clenched fist.
“Just how many opportunities
To tell others about Me have you missed?

What about the lady at the store?
Did you tell her that I love her more?
And what about that dirty man on the street?
Did you walk by in fear as he begged at your feet?

And at church when they passed the plate?
Did you give willingly or hesitate?”
Missed opportunities – they abound.
God open my eyes, they’re all around.

Yes, sometimes, things just happen.
And we’ve got no control over them.
We miss a chance to fulfill our dream
And we’ll never get it back again.

But we always have an opportunity
To be Jesus throughout our community.
We just have to look with eyes open wide
Through the eyes of God and swallow our pride.

God let me be Your hands.  Be Your feet.
Let me sieze the opportunity.  Carpe Diem.
Let me be Your voice, no matter the cost.
So I have no more opportunities lost.

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com