GodandMe2theMax

Make up your mind ahead of time...

Psalm 59: 16  "But I will sing of Your strength, in the morning I will sing of Your love, for You are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble."

Have you ever planned out what you will do in any given situation?  Maybe it's what you'll tell the officer when you get pulled over for speeding.  Maybe it's what you'll do if you get called on for your opinion in a meeting.  Maybe it's how you will react to that annoying person who drives you crazy the next time you come in contact with them.  But have you ever decided ahead of time how you will react to trials in your life?

I love the story of Daniel.  One of my favorite lines from that book is "Daniel purposed in his heart..."  You see, Daniel had morals.  He knew ahead of time what he would do in any given situation.  He committed ahead of time to do the right thing and have the right heart attitude.  In the verse for this week, David said the same thing.  He didn't have to think about it.  He says that no matter what, He will sing of God's strength and love.  He knew God was the only strong tower to help him during times of trouble, and he purposed in his heart that he would praise God.

Think about the imagery of a fortress.  In olden times, when the enemy was attacking, where did people run?  To the fortress.  They ran for safety and shelter; they closed the gates to guard against harm.  David knew God was the fortress to turn to...not his money, not his riches, not his friends.  God, and God alone.  He hides us in the shadow of His wings.  He comforts us with His love.  He is our shelter in the time of storm. 

About two weeks ago, I was writing a poem for a dear friend who has been going through a terrible fight with cancer.  The poem talks about why God allows us to go through the hard times.  The wounds and scars we develop here on earth are nothing compared to the wounds and scars Jesus has from enduring the cross for our sins, and when we go through those hard times, it increases our faith.  My friend has been a hero of faith through this ordeal, and as I prayed for her while I was writing, I asked the Lord to allow me to have that same faith when going through difficult times.  What would I do, and would my faith actually be as strong in hard times as it is when things are going well? 

So what about you?  Have you purposed in your heart how you will react when tough times come?  Have you decided ahead of time that you will praise God in the morning?  Are you going to be like David and run to the fortress?  Are you going to be like Daniel and purpose in your heart ahead of time to honor God, no matter what?  Are you going to wake up praising God in the morning, like David?  Can these words be yours?

So I will praise You God for any pain I endure. 
I will praise You, Lord, for it's my faith You spur. 
I will praise You God, for the strength that You give.
No matter the scar, Lord, for You I'll live.

As you memorize Psalm 59:16 this week, please join me in trying to internalize it.  Make up your mind ahead of time.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Encouraging during the lemons of life...

Proverbs 12:25  "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."

Sometimes God allows things to happen and take place in our life that the world would simply call a "lemon" of a deal.  When these things happen, when the lemons are dealt, we are often left feeling disheartened.  No, not necessarily depressed or even worried, just simply heavy hearted.  

Think about Naomi.  If you're not familiar with the story, take some time to go read the book of Ruth.  From the world's perspective, Naomi was dealt some real lemons.  Her husband had died.  She had two sons, and they both passed away.  Naomi was no longer even living in her homeland or near her relatives for support.  All she had left was her two daughter-in-laws: Orpah and Ruth.  These tragedies left Naomi disheartened to the point that she told Ruth to call her Mara, because "the Almighty has made my life very bitter."  Her anxious heart was heavy.  Can you blame Naomi, really? 

Maybe you're in a similar situation.  You feel like the Lord has thrown some lemons at you lately.  Your heart is heavy.  You're lonely.  You're disheartened.  You need someone to encourage you.

Back to the story, let's look at the impact Ruth's words likely had on Naomi, in relation to the verse to memorize for this week.  Ruth 1:16-17    "But Ruth replied, 'Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.  Where you will go I will go, and where you will stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried'..." 

Can you imagine how Naomi's spirits were lifted from the loving words Ruth offered?  Naomi was perhaps at an all time low.  She wasn't out there asking for handouts, in fact, she even gave her two daughters-in-law an 'out' to leave her.  Although those lemons were still tough to swallow, I do believe Naomi was better able to swallow them because of the loving support of Ruth.

Let's look at the verse for the week.  "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."  Do you know someone like Naomi?  Someone who is heavy hearted, with a lemon-filled life?  Do you know someone falling away from church, maybe because of life's circumstances? 

The question begs, "What are you going to do about it?"  When is the last time you hand-wrote a note to encourage another person?  Technology like email and facebook are amazing tools, but when is the last time you actually picked up the phone to call someone to lift their spirits over the phone?  I know I've been the recipient of many kind words cheering me up lately.  I also know that the Lord has been teaching me lately to be a more consistent encourager.  It's so easy to get busy and just neglect to send a note...neglect to call.  The truth is that I've found when I take the time to encourage someone else, I'm encouraged.  It's funny how that works like that!

So who do you know that needs encouraged this week, and what are you going to do about it?  Will you be like Ruth and encourage a heavy-heartened friend?  Perhaps this comes a bit more naturally for women than men, but that's no excuse.  Men and women alike, will you join me in making a goal to look outside your circle and encourage a new person each week?  Let's each consider it our responsibility to not only memorize this verse but also to carry it out this week.   Let's all cheer up someone with a kind word and help their lemons turn to lemonade.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

 

 

Teen Spirit Green Cap or Rice Flower and Shea?

Ephesians 5:1-2  "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

When most children are little, they want to grow up to be just like their mommy or daddy.  Why?  It's who they adore!  (What can I say, they don't know any better or anyone else at the time!)  Of course, when they get a little older, they turn their focus far from the parental figure to the popular figure.  You don't have to look farther than any storefront to see how the advertisers have clued in on this fact.  It's not always the product that results in sales, it's the person representing the product.  Get the right superstar to be an advocate for a product, and it's sure to be a hit.  Why?  Imitation is the best form of flattery.  Kids want to be just like the one they idolize, and if that person uses Teen Spirit deodorant with the green cap, then they want to as well.

Thankfully, we eventually grow out of that impressionable age where we believe everything advertised, even if it's by our favorite star.  But in contrast, as we mature in Christ, should we not continue to do exactly that, except putting our focus on Christ? 

The Bible says in order to imitate Christ, I must live a life of love.  How do I practically do that?  This time the answer isn't rolling off my fingers as I type.  I can't physically understand how much God loves us.  Think about it.  If you have children, would you let your child die so that everyone in the world could live?  Could you watch as your child is beaten and tormented, bruised and whipped?  I love my friends.  There's no doubt about that.  But I don't think I'd let my child die so that my friends could live.  But that's what is so amazing about the love God has for us.  He did just that.  And although He doesn't command us to sacrifice our only child, He does command us to live a life of love.

How do you love the unlovable?  How do you love the ones who hurt you?  How do you love your enemies?  How do you show love practically, day in and day out?  The only answer I can think of lies in dying to self and seeking God.  You see, in and of ourselves, we cannot truly love.  It's only through Christ, the source of love, that we can.  I John 4:7-8, 16 says "Dear friends, let us love one another, for loves comes from God, Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love...And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.   Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him."

I first must have a relationship with Christ to understand love.  The Bible says that love comes from God and God alone.  When I was a small child, I asked Him to come into my life, forgive me of my sins, and save me.  I gave Him control, and that started a relationship with Him.  But just because I have a relationship with Christ doesn't mean I'm living a life of love.  Daily I must choose to imitate Christ and show love.  Daily I must deny selfish ambitions and put others first.  No one ever said it was easy, or even fun for that matter.  Sometimes it feels so good to just hold a grudge or be angry with someone.  But it's clear that's not living a life of love.  No, holding on to negative emotions are not what it means to imitate Christ.

The verse closes with saying that Christ's death was a "fragrant offering."  How could someone dying be a sweet smell?  Only with God, that's for sure.  Think about your favorite scent.  If you're a girl, maybe it's a perfume or chocolate.  If you're a guy, it's probably food.  One of my favorite scents is from a perfume that Bath and Body Works used to make -- Rice Flower and Shea.  It's a cheap perfume, actually, but I love it more than any of the most expensive smells in the department stores.  I have a large stockpile of it, and each year, that grows smaller.  It's "precious" to me, and one day it will not even be available.  All it takes is a little whiff to make me feel good. 

I wonder, can people get a little "whiff" of me and sense the love of God in me?  What do I smell like, spiritually speaking?  Is the love I'm showing giving a good scent for Christ?  Christ's death on the cross was a precious fragrance.  The love He expressed was such a sacrifice of love that although it was painful, it was sweet smelling to God.  And when we live a life of love for God, we also are a sweet fragrance to God, and we should be a sweet fragrance to the world around us.

So what is it?  Am I imitating Christ and His love, resulting in that "Rice Flower and Shea" kind of smell to others?  Or am I wearing some Teen Spirit green cap, trying to cover up the smelly parts, hoping no one notices?  Who am I imitating?  My favorite star or God Almighty? 

Lord, teach me how to live a life of love so that I am a fragrant offering to You.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Spiritual Rock Climbing

OK, I'm not the most fit person in the world.  No big surprise there, right?  But a few years ago on an Alaskan cruise, our family decided to do one of those big rock walls that the ship offered to its guests.  My first problem with that scenario is knowing what I looked like from behind in that harness.  Alas, we were the only ones in line with no onlookers, so I decided to get strapped in and try it out.  As quickly as I started my climb, people started to gather.  Panic also started to overcome me.  Now please understand, I wasn't afraid of the heights or even fatigued at the point I quit.  It was simply the knowledge of all those people staring up at my lower extremities and watching my every move.  It was one of those times I would have given my left hand to erase mental images.  In the end, I decided the fear of what they were thinking was more important to me than the thrill of reaching the top.  Now, I'm not sure I could have reached the top, but my paranoia definitely took control, leaving me to always wonder.

In many respects, indoor rock climbing like what I've described is like our Christian walk.  Sometimes scaling the spiritual mountain isn't easy.  In fact, if we're doing things the way God says, it shouldn't be.  (All those who live Godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.  2 Timothy 3:12)  Onlookers are always watching us to see if we mess up and fail.  Success in rock climbing is found in the footing, and some of us, namely me, can be a bit clumsy at times and have very big feet.  Size ten to be exact.  But truly the size of your foot doesn't matter.  All it takes is to have the tip of your toe on the ledge to start making progress.  Just like I was strapped into a safety harness on the cruise, because I've had a point in my life where I've given God control, asked Him to come into my life, forgive me of my sins and save me, I also have a spiritual harness.  If I slip in this rock wall of life, He's got my back.

The thing is, that those tiny ledges we use to continue our upward climb can also be used by satan.  This morning I was reading in Ephesians 4:27.  It says, "and do not give the devil a foothold."  As I was reading that passage, I just stopped and started to contemplate the big picture, especially in relation to rock climbing.  You see, just like I mentioned in yesterday's blog, satan is out there on the attack.  He's climbing that wall with us, trying to make us give up.  He's got a foot on the ledge just like us, but the cool thing is that he's not wearing a safety harness.

As Christians, we have to be so aware of satan's attacks in our life.  He is subtle, and he is sneaky.  When we're not even looking, he'll reach out and grab our leg to try to pull us down.  Just like me in our family vacation, he can use fear to play on our emotions.  He is out there throwing self doubt our way, telling us we're not good enough, making us wonder if reaching the summit is even worth it.  He can use anger, bitterness, the internet, our children, and yes, even our Christian friends and family to pull us down from the mountain, too.  It could be little things like our favorite television show.  It's just a show, right?  Entertainment - what's the big deal?  Yep.  Satan just inched his way up another notch in trying to make us slip.  What's a little cuss word when we're mad or something goes wrong?  Isn't that just a little ridiculous to think cussing here and there is wrong?  Not according to I Peter 1:13-16  "...prepare your minds for action; be self controlled...do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance, but just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written, 'Be holy because I am holy.'"

Maybe you've started the climb.  You've not actually given up, but you're too defeated to keep scaling.  Maybe you've lost your energy to keep going up.  You've not given up on God, you still believe, but you just don't know how to start climbing again.  Let me tell you about a great tool developed by Maxpoint.  It's a systematic approach to growing your faith in Christ, and it will help jump start your energy to keep climbing.  You can find it at www.24-7Discipleship.com.  It's free for individuals, and I guarantee it will help you get focused and ready to start scaling the wall again.

The really cool thing about this rock climbing is that safety harness I mentioned.  You see, on my cruise, I could make a split decision and give up.  But the Bible says that if we've entered this Christian rock climb, giving up is not an option.  John 10:28 says "No one will snatch us out of God's hand."  His harness is made with super glue.  We may let satan low down our growth progress, we may stop making upward progress, but once we've made a commitment to enter a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, it's a done deal.  Signed, sealed...and ultimately delivered. 

If you see a friend struggling, reach down and give them a hand.  Encourage them to keep going.  If you see a friend slip and fall, don't just leave them lower down the wall to fend for themselves.  Let's build up our Spiritual strength and climb this wall...one ledge at a time...together! 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Monday Memory Verse - Matthew 18:15 - Confrontation God's Way

Matthew 18:15  "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.  If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."

{This story is used with permission from my husband Frank, so if you know him, please don't take offense.}

On a recent family vacation, my fourteen year old daughter Amber heard some other teenagers at the hotel pool trash-talking my husband and I.  Specifically, she heard one of them say something about "the fat guy in the hot tub."  Now, there were only two people in the hot tub - Frank and I.  I'm certainly no dude, so the only logical target of the trash talking was Frank.  As a side note, in case you do not know my husband, the mental image that one would concoct of "a fat guy in the hot tub" is not a fair assessment.

Now, we had no idea what was being said, but Amber did, and she felt the need to do something about it.  Upon hearing them bash her dad, the protective assertive daughter that we have reared kicked in.  She swam over to them and very calmly and directly said, "That 'fat guy' in the hot tub -- yeah, well, that's my dad, and he's actually pretty cool." 

Can you imagine the look on the girls faces when Amber confronted them?  First of all, they had no clue that the "fat guy in the hot tub's" daughter was just a few feet away.  They also probably never imagined a teenager would actually defend a parent, let alone praise them.  Needless to say, the trash talking stopped...immediately.  Amber wasn't nasty, she was just firm, honest, and direct.

Now, certainly Amber's confrontation of those girls in the pool is not an example of Biblical confrontation, nor is it an example of what the verse for this week is specifically talking about.  Amber could have easily just ignored the problem and not been disobeying the instructions Jesus gives us in the verse.  Matthew 18:15 is talking specifically about what Christians should do when other Christians have offended them.  However, the concept is similar. 

Confrontation.  For most people, it's not easy.  What is easy is ignoring a problem, sweeping it under the rug, or running from it.   Unfortunately, churches are filled with transfer members.  These are people who got upset at their church and instead of trying to resolve the issues, they just left in search of a "better" one.  Having been in the ministry most of my adult life, unfortunately, I know countless of these Christians.

For me, confrontation comes rather easy.  I've told my friends many times that if I'm upset or offended by something, they will hear it from me first.  When my relationships go awry, whether with family or friends, I can't sleep.  I hash things over in my brain until I'm nearly sick.  I need to resolve matters so life can move on for me.  That's how I'm wired.  However, this strength of confrontation for me also comes with a weakness.  I often have such an urgent need to resolve issues that sometimes I do not always choose the appropriate times to get things settled.  My weak area isn't in the confrontation; it's in the timing of the confronting.

Let's break the verse down in more detail...

If your brother sins against you...
Jesus specifically tells us that confrontation should take place when we personally are involved. 

go and show him his fault...
This is the tough part.  No one is perfect.  We are human.  It's so easy to be offended by another's comments or words or to offend someone with ours.  If confrontation is necessary, remember Philippians 2:3.  It's a great companion verse to memorize when dealing with relationship issues.  "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than themselves."  We must have the right heart attitude and ask God for help when it comes to actually confronting the situation.  Remember, "the tongue has the power of life and death."  (Proverbs 18:21) 

Just between the two of you.
Friends "sharing" with friends is one of the most dangerous things in today's churches.  In plain English, most of the time it's just gossip - and sin.  If you need a sounding board, it's best to talk to someone completely removed from the situation who doesn't even know the parties involved.  But, Jesus specifically says to work it out one-on-one. 

If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
Aside from contrary belief, confrontation is not something to dread.  When confronting in a Biblical way, with the right heart attitude, and speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), it can be a beautiful thing.  I have personally witnessed my damaged relationships be restored by taking care of things the way God would want me to.  Sometimes it has taken years after I've confronted situations before the relationship has been restored.  Still, some others never get back to the point that they were before the conflict, but those are few and far between. 

On the flip side of confronting someone who has offended you, sometimes it's me who is being confronted because of my loose lips.  Ouch!  That's even tougher to handle.  It's never easy to hear something negative about myself.  But sometimes the truth hurts, and I just have to face it.  I have to pray for an open mind.  Acknowledge the truth.  Ask for forgiveness.  Learn from my mistakes.  Choose to love.  And choose to move on.

Obedience is what God expects from us.  The verse is not a suggestion.  It's a conditional command.  Jesus says, If your brother sins against you, go."  If you read through the rest of this passage, it's clear that the instructions Jesus gives are for in the context of the church, Christian to Christian, and it also includes church discipline. 

Today I've personally had to face the truth about a relationship I hold dear.  I've had to admit how I've been wrong and hurt someone I love.  But because I've not shoved it under the rug or ignored the situation, because I've dealt with it the way God would want me to, I believe the relationship is now back on the path of restoration and growth.

So next time you hear "fat guy in the hot tub" (or anything that digs deep) -- deal with it in a Godly way.  That's one expression that will never be forgotten in my family!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Monday Memory Verse - Proverbs 18:21 - Coffee Grounds or Chocolate?

Proverbs 18:21  "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

If any of you really know me, you know that I enjoy food.  It's always been that way for me, and if I were being honest with you, which I always try to do, it's a daily struggle.  Now, I grew up the youngest of four children, with three older brothers.  Needless to say, if I ever wanted seconds on anything that I liked, I had to eat fast - while there was still something left. 

One day at the age of about seven, I came into the house after playing outside.  My mom was sitting around the dining room table with some friends drinking coffee.  It was a hot, summer day, and I was famished.  I saw what looked like brownie crumbs sitting on a paper towel at the table.  I distinctly remember saying to one brother (who shall remain nameless), "I can't believe mom made brownies and ate them all!"  So my brother said, "Well, the crumbs are there, go eat them."  I saw my chance, and I took it. I scooped those crumbs right into my mouth and started to inhale, without even chewing.  They were crumbs, after all.  Who needs to chew?  As soon as the first drop went down my throat, I started gagging and choking.  I looked over at my brother, laughing away, and my mom immediately sprang into action to help me breathe and wash out my mouth with water.  Yes, those 'crumbs' were actually coffee grounds, and my brother knew it all along.

Contrast that bitter taste (that I hope none of you with older brothers ever had to endure) with the most wonderful flavor you can imagine.  Maybe it's dark chocolate.  Maybe it's a juicy medium-rare steak.  Maybe it's your favorite dessert.  Whatever that taste is that releases those endorphins in your brain, think of the contrast between the two.  Bitterness or pure, undeniable, delicacy.  That is what I think of when I dwell on the verse to memorize this week.

The tongue has the power of life and death...

Have you ever had someone speak truth to you that you felt as though you had renewed joy, renewed energy, and truly a renewed life?  Now think about the converse.  Have you ever had someone rip into you so deeply that it seemingly bore a whole in your soul?  I'll bet you can think of more examples in your life of when you've been torn down instead of built up.  I can. 

I'm an analyzer.  I like to try to figure people out, and I like to try to figure myself out.  I love looking at the things in my past and figuring out why I am who I am today.  Believe it or not, I used to have really low self-esteem.  I'm sure there are many reasons for that, but I can pin-point one major contributing event in my life.  When I was in sixth grade, a teacher tore me up and down, inside and out, in front of the other students.  She didn't make just one comment.  She went on and on, doing everything she could and say everything she could think of to humiliate me.  You see, quick wit as an adult is a great attribute.  It's one of my characteristics that I'm most proud of.  I'm a lot like my dad, in that respect.  But, quick wit as a fifth grader is called disrespect.  Yes, I needed to be reprimanded; I just did not need it done publicly.  Now, I went to a Christian school...these kinds of things should not have happened.  Unfortunately, sometimes we speak flippantly and have no clue that our words might leave a lasting scar on others.

As I try to think of an example of when someone has used their tongue to bring life into me, I find it much more difficult.  As humans, it's easier to remember the wounds, scars, and hurts than it is to remember the good.  Now, as I flip that switch and think about how I use my words, I wonder what my ratio is of bringing life or death to someone with my words.  Looking at how others have hurt me is always a lot easier than asking God to show me how I've hurt others.

...those who love it will eat its fruit.

We can choose words that bring destruction or life.  The choices we make show where our 'love' is.  Certainly, all of us would agree that given the choice, we would choose the life-fruit for someone talking to us.  Yet, do we put that into practice with others?  That's the real test.  Matthew 12:37 says, "For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."   

There's nothing like a kind word fitly spoken.  Proverbs 25:11 says it's like apples of gold in settings of silver.  Yes, we love to receive the fruit of life...that's an easy one.  Today, I am asking God to show me what kind of fruit is on the platter I'm serving to others.  Am I taking every opportunity to build others up instead of myself?  Even more so, am I taking every opportunity to tell others how to have LIFE in Christ?  That is the ultimate fruit we all should be serving up.  This week I'm asking God to give me the opportunity to speak life and truth into someone each day, and perhaps more importantly, to not bring damage to someone because of my words.   

So what's it going to be?  Coffee grounds or chocolate?  Death or Life?  The choice is mine, every time I open my mouth.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Monday Memory Verse - Hebrews 3:13 - Is "BUSY" a 4 letter word?

Hebrews 3:13  "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."

I was talking to a client this week, and in the course of the conversation, he mentioned Hebrews 3:7-19.  The passage talks about the Israelites being bitter in the wilderness.  It encourages us to not let bitterness rule in our life...and to have the right response.  He went on to say it's not about how we act; it's about how we react to things.  I wrote down the Scripture he was referring to, and the next morning in my quiet time, that's where I turned.  The Lord led me to verse 13 for the verse to memorize for the week.  It deals with my responsibility toward someone who is struggling in the wilderness.

Encourage one another daily

I want to stop right there for a moment.  As a Christian, I know it's my responsibility to encourage others.  But, I can't tell you how many times I've thought about calling a friend who was struggling or just trying to encourage someone else, only to get distracted and never follow through with the good intentions.  I have a friend who is a CEO, and his hot button is the word "BUSY."   He tells his employees that "busy" is a four-letter word.  He doesn't want to hear that as an excuse, and it means nothing.  So, I started to think about that.  Does God consider "BUSY" the same as a cuss-word?  Over an over I can think of times that God put a hurting friend on my heart to call or encourage, only to realize days later that I got so busy, lost track of time, and failed miserably.  If I am giving Him excuse after excuse why I am not doing what He tells me to do, then my excuses are like vinegar to Him.  He doesn't want to hear "I was BUSY, Lord."  Yes, in that respect, "BUSY" is a four letter word to God, too.

Why does the Bible tell us to encourage one another?  So that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

We are human.  Things happen in our life that make us start to become bitter toward people, circumstances, and God.  We use them as excuses for what is really happening in our hearts.  "They did this to me...someone should have been there for me...they knew I was going through that hard time and no one called.  Why did God let this happen?  If He was a loving God, He would have never..." 

Sure, if someone becomes bitter or allows sin to get a stronghold in their life, it is ultimately between God and them.  But I can do something about it.  That's where I can turn friendship into a verb.  "Encourage" is a verb that God commands me to put into action.  It doesn't take much to let someone know you're there for them.  It can be a short one-liner text.  It can be a quick phone call, prefaced by "I only have a few minutes, but I just wanted to call to see how you're doing."  It can be a quick message sent on Facebook.  If it's late in the day, maybe it's just praying for them and following up with the phone call the next day. 

None of us want to see our friends struggling, and the one thing we can be for them is be a true friend, through thick and thin...even if it costs our time.  I'm convicted today that I've been giving God the "I'm busy" excuse too many times.  I'm committing today that if He brings a friend to mind that I need to encourage, I'm going to write it down and not go to bed until I've done something for them. (Maybe that's why the verse specifically mentions the word TODAY!)  I usually won't be able to fix the problem, but I can always be obedient to what God has commanded me to do...ENCOURAGE!  I'm starting to agree with my friend, BUSY is a four-letter word!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Is my gas cap loose enough to get the tank filled?

Have you ever screwed on the lid to your gas tank so tightly that you have had trouble getting it off?  Probably not so much lately--they make them differently these days.  But I remember times in high school that the lid was screwed on so tightly I could barely remove it.  As I read in the book of Ruth this morning, I started thinking about my gas tank of life.  Instead of focusing on the normal story of Ruth and Boaz, the Lord brought my focus to Naomi and what she went through. 

Naomi's gas tank was below the "E."  She said so herself in Ruth 1:21 "I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty."  Who can blame her for feeling this way?  Look where she was at in her life.  She was an old widow in a foreign land.  Already full of sorrow from losing her husband, she suffered what I imagine would be one of the biggest heart pains imaginable -- outliving your child.  Yet, Naomi lived this tragedy not once, but twice.   

Yes, Naomi's tank was on empty.  I see in chapter one that she also had a case of the 'poor me's.'  When she returned to Bethlehem, she told her friends to call her Mara, meaning bitter, because the Lord had dealt bitterly with her.  Naomi expressed how she felt, but she didn't stay there emotionally.  I find it interesting that although Naomi asked to be called Mara, the Bible still refers to her throughout the book as Naomi, which means "my joy" or "pleasant."  I think it's important be honest with God.  He wants us to come to Him as we are, but as I study this, I'm reminded that I can't let bitterness and disappointment blind me from new opportunities.  Naomi didn't.

What kind of woman was Naomi?  My first thought to describe her was 'static.'  Ruth clung to her and vowed to never let go.  "Cling Free" couldn't have separated them.  She was loved.  Cherished.  Wise.  She had discernment.  She was scheming, perhaps meddling a little.  But what I'm impressed with in Naomi this morning is that she didn't let her circumstances keep her down for the count.  She was "pressed but not crushed."  Why?  She didn't screw the lid on her gas tank down so tightly that it was impossible to refill.  She was on empty, yet she allowed God to work in her life so that her life could be filled up again with joy replacing the sorrow. 

What if..  Naomi didn't go back to Bethlehem?  Naomi got so bitter against God she gave up?  Naomi hadn't schemed (ahem) I mean had the wisdom to encourage Ruth to go unto Boaz?  I don't know the answer, but I do know that the book of Ruth ends with perhaps the ultimate joy.  We see in the closing verses that Ruth gave birth to Obed, the father of Jesse, the father of David...and the line of Christ.  When little Obed was born, I'm sure he was the pride and joy of his grandma.  Naomi's tank was full again.

So today, I'm especially encouraged by Naomi.  I want to be like her.  She was a supporting actress in the story of Ruth, but truly, she's a heroine.  The wives of her children adored her, and not just out of loyalty and obligation.  (How many mothers-in-law can say that?  I hope I can when my children marry!)  She was honest with God, but she didn't let her emotions get the best of her.  She kept her lid screwed on lightly so that, although once empty, her tank could be filled once again.  She didn't allow her circumstances to control her.  Yes, Naomi is an unsung hero in my book, and I can learn a lot from her.  Most certainly, I want to never let my circumstances weigh me down to the point that I can't move into God's future plans for me.  Fill my tank, Lord!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

A Lesson from a canvas up in a tree...

A few years ago, my husband and I had the opportunity to take an all expense paid trip without our children to Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic.  One afternoon, we were able to go out shopping in the village.  As we walked up and down the crowded street, watching people selling their wares, something struck me.  Up in a tree, was a canvas of a Haitian woman.  I walked by it several times until I couldn't get the image out of my mind.  I walked back and looked up in the tree again.  The artist portrayed the Haitian woman's eyes as full of despair and literally the gateway to her soul.  I couldn't help but think of the verse in Psalms 42:11 "Why are you cast down, O my soul?  Why are you disquieted within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance and my God."  Of course I bought that canvas, and until the movers broke the glass I had framed it in, it hung on my wall, a constant reminder of this verse.

As I read in Psalm 42 this morning, I'm reminded of that story, but I'm also struck with the end of the verse...one that perhaps I've never paid so much attention to in the past.  "...for I will yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance and my God."  I am enamored by that phrase - God is the health of my countenance!  When I am walking with God and spending time with Him, it shows on the outside!  I look healthy, vibrant, full of life.

I'm thankful I don't struggle with depression, but there are so many people in this world that do.  Some truly have a bio-chemical medical condition.  (End of subject - no debate!)  Others, however, struggle because of a heart condition.  They are so downcast about their life struggles that they just can't give it over to God.  They know He's there, but somehow it's just too hard to let God carry the burden for them.  Do you know those kind of people?  You can see it in their eyes - their pain and sorrow, much like I saw in the canvas of the Haitian woman. 

No, I may not struggle with depression, but I surely struggle with other sins in my life, and this verse speaks just as loudly to me.  The closer I walk with God, the more He points out areas in my life that require change. 

I want people to look at my eyes and my countenance and see that I'm different - because of Christ and what He's done in my life.  In order for that to happen, my eyes need to be fixed on Him and not on me. I need to allow Him the key to the inner places of my heart so that He can begin to bring about "health" and change me as He wants.  I pray for 'change' every day, and not the political kind, the personal kind!

Lord, let my eyes be the gateway to my soul so that others can see you clearly in my life!

 

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Two Sisters...One Man...the Ultimate Love Triangle

One of the sweetest Hallmark cards in the Bible is found in Genesis 29:20, "So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her."

If you're not familiar with the story in the Bible, Jacob set his eyes on a beautiful maiden named Rachel.  It was love at first site.  When he asked her father Laban for her hand in marriage, Laban told Jacob that he must first work seven years to have it.  Those seven years seemed like 'only a few days' for Jacob because he loved Rachel so much.  At the end of the seven years, Jacob asked for his bride Rachel, but Laban played a terrible trick on him.  He sent his older daughter Leah into the tent to sleep with Jacob instead. 

It was dark.  Leah wore a veil over her face.  Jacob had no idea until morning, when it was too late.  Leah was now his wife, but his heart was sold out to Rachel.  The love triangle started that night, and like any modern day movie, it was filled with jealousy, lies, and deceit.

Understanding this love triangle and the feelings of each one of the characters is something I've struggled with this morning.

My heart goes out to Leah.  Can you imagine the dread in her heart, knowing when Jacob woke up he would realize she was not his beloved?  I'm sure she hoped he would find love in his heart for her, but I think she probably didn't get too much sleep that night with concern over what would happen when the bomb would drop the next morning.  Leah had no choice but to go unto Jacob and trick him into thinking she was Rachel.  In those days, a girl did what her father said to do, without question.  Can you imagine the rejection Leah felt when she saw the look of unbelief on Jacob's face the next morning?  Rejection.  Tears.  Self-doubt.  Leah loved Jacob, but that same kind of love was not returned.  Jacob's love for Leah was obligatory.  If anyone needed some anti-depressants in the Bible, I think it would have been Leah.  Picture it.  Less than 24 hours after getting married, her husband ran away from their marriage bed in shock and arranged his marriage to another woman...and not just any woman...her little sister!  Ouch! 

Leah had some serious emotions to deal with, but can you imagine how Jacob felt?  He went to bed thinking he was consummating the fulfillment of his dreams and woke up thinking he was in his worst nightmare!  He then went to his father-in-law to inquire why he tricked him and got the lamest excuse ever,  "It is not customary to give the younger daughter's hand in marriage before the older daughter."  Yet, Jacob accepted Laban's answer.  How could he not?  He wanted his prize - the one he had worked all those years for, his beloved Rachel.  Laban told Jacob to finish the bridal week with Leah, and then he would give him Rachel for a wife...in exchange for seven more years of labor.  Jacob gladly agreed.  How could he not? 

Then I tried to imagine how Rachel felt that dreaded night.  She loved Jacob just as much as he loved her.  For seven years, she watched him work for her father, knowing at the end of his commitment, they would finally be together.  I'm sure she knew what day she was to be married.  I wonder if she stayed in her tent and wept.  The Bible is silent on how Rachel felt about the whole situation that was unfolding, but one thing is for sure, she hated what was happening.

If the rivalry between Rachel and Leah was not already present, it started the day the love triangle began.  The Bible says in Genesis 29:16 that Leah was older and Rachel was younger.  Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form and beautiful.  As I searched this morning for the meaning of 'weak eyes' the KJV calls it 'tender eyes.'  It means either either her eyes were visually weak, or they lacked luster.  You know that feeling you get when you're confident and feel like you can conquer the world?  Your eyes sparkle.  Jacob liked eyes that sparkled like the night sky, and those eyes belonged only to Rachel! 

I think Leah had some self-esteem issues.  In her mind, her baby sister had 'it all,'  and that included her husband's love.  The Bible says in Genesis 29:30 that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah, and he didn't try to hide his feelings.  Yet, Rachel, who seemed to have it all, also soon developed some self-esteem issues of her own.  Leah bore Jacob four baby boys while Rachel remained barren, and Leah didn't hesitate to rub it in Rachel's face, unfortunately.

Have you ever compared yourself to another person, a sister, maybe someone at school who always seems to have it all together?  You know the type -- they always seem to know just the right words to say to advance or succeed when you are in the background feeling like you can't catch a break!  In the end, you feel like all you can do is fail miserably?  I think we've all been there.

When things don't go the way we want them to, how often do we let sin creep into our life?  Maybe it's jealousy, maybe it's anger or bitterness, like we see in Rachel and Leah.  And when we feel like we're one of the 'down and outers,' what is our reaction to those around us when something finally goes 'right?'  Are we happy for our 'rival' or do we spite them even more? 

God blessed Leah with four strapping young men to make Jacob proud, all the while, poor Rachel was not able to conceive.  I think at that point, Leah started taunting Rachel.  "You may be his favorite, but you can't give him what he really wants...a son!"  As for Rachel, can you imagine being in her position?  Having almost everything you want - true love, a spouse who adores you, but one thing was missing.  All she wanted was a baby, flesh or her flesh, a baby boy to make Jacob proud...but that one missing puzzle piece in her life eluded her.  I've been there for a season of time in my life, and it's one of the greatest heartaches I've ever lived through - infertility.  Many can relate, I'm sure.  It's tough, and when someone continues to throw it in your face, it's even harder to deal with.

This made me think.  Are there people in my life that I rival or just plain spite?  How many times do I try to 'one-up' them, dropping a little 'dig' here and there?  What is my reaction to those people when they succeed or fail?  God wants me to have a pure heart.  He wants me to pray for them, but unfortunately, when I really search my heart, that's not what actually takes place all the time.

There's so much more to this love triangle between Jacob, Leah and Rachel, found in Genesis 29-35...so many more details I would love to focus on in this blog.  But one final thing I see is that out of Leah, "the unloved one" came the One who I love.  Leah gave birth to Judah, which was the line of Christ!  I wonder if Leah knew when Judah was born that he would have such important descendants!  I wonder if she ever realized that her circumstantial self-pity should have been turned into gratefulness for the blessings God did give her.  In hindsight, her perspective, I'm sure, would have changed.  As best as I can tell, the two sisters never reconciled with each other.  Rachel gave birth eventually to Joseph, Jacob's favorite son, but she died while giving birth to Benjamin.  Leah remained the bittersweet first and last wife of Jacob.

It's such a very strange story, this love triangle, straight from the pages of the oldest novel ever written.  I can learn a lot from each one of these characters.  The rivalry between Leah and Rachel is such a reminder to me to focus on my relationships with others and develop them to the fullest.  Jacob teaches me diligence, a strong work effort, and following my heart.  Leah teaches me I need to be content, and Rachel teaches me I should not question 'why' when things happen to me.  I need to remember that God's plan is always perfect.  I may never understand why God allows things to happen in my life, not even in hindsight, but I can claim God's peace that He has it all under control.  I definitely look at this story with new insight and perspective today!

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com