GodandMe2theMax

Serving where He calls me...by His design...

"As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth.  'Follow me,' He told Him, and Matthew got up and followed Him."  Matthew 9:9 

As I continue my study in Matthew, I have to pause and just recognize God’s intricate and sovereign plans.  We often don’t understand why things happen, but at least for me, that old expression of hindsight is 20-20 usually comes full circle.  God uniquely designed me, every detail, to fulfill His purpose. 

I can’t help but think about this in relation to this passage in Matthew.  Matthew was a tax collector by trade.  He not only collected taxes, but part of his responsibility was also as a record keeper.  How significant is it that Jesus called Matthew to be one of His disciples?  Matthew was uniquely designed to vividly capture and record the accounts of Jesus for us to read generations later.  Yes, I know every word of Scripture written was inspired, but I do believe God often uses us in areas that uniquely fit how He made us, and Matthew was designed for the job Jesus called him to do, for sure.

Design (verb)  To do or plan with a specific purpose in mind

It’s a word that implies creativity. It’s a word that implies forethought.  And it’s a word that implies purpose and intention.  There’s no doubt that throughout Scripture, it’s clear that God designed us.  He knows us by name, and He created us for a purpose.

Psalm 139:1-6,13  “O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. You created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

I can look back over my life and see how God allowed certain things to take place so that I could be who He called me to be today.  Who would have ever thought that taking a job as a receptionist at AAA would have been the first foundation for my career today?  Within less than five years, I had cross-trained for multiple positions within the company and eventually, I was promoted by a district office manager.  I would have never guessed at the time that God would allow taking a job as a receptionist to set the framework for my life in Texas.

But as I think about my design in relation to service to God, I’m kind of back at a crossroads, doing some serious evaluation.  I recently resigned from the women’s ministry team, at least for a period of time.  I felt as though God was telling me to pull back and re-focus.  I don’t know what that means exactly, but I do know a big factor in that is my need to re-focus on my family.  I may have one going off to college this week, but I still have one at home, and my job isn’t done.  It’s easy to do, do, do because you happen to be good at something, and it’s easy to say yes, yes, yes, because no one else will do it.  But when there’s so many “do’s” and “yes’s”, I think you lose focus and become weary.  And that’s where I was.

In his book Doing Church as Team, Wayne Cordeiro talks about DESIGN.  He uses the acronym to bring focus to where you should be serving in the church.  Here’s a quick snapshot of this great tool:

 

D	Desires or Passions	Ask yourself, “What do I love doing?”
E	Experiences	Ask yourself, “What unique experiences do I have?”
S	Spiritual Gifts	Ask yourself, “What are my spiritual gifts?”  (…And if you don’t know, just google “spiritual gifts inventory” to help point you in the right direction.)
I	Individual Style	Ask yourself, “Am I an introvert or extrovert?”  (Do I get energized by being alone or do I get energy from being in a crowd of people?)
G	Growth	Ask yourself, “Where am I in my spiritual growth?”  (If you’re a new baby Christian, you probably don’t want to sign up to teach a theology class.)
N	Natural Abilities	Ask yourself, “What are my natural abilities and talents?  (ie: singing, writing, making people laugh, playing an instrument, art, etc.)

 

So just like God called Matthew to do what he uniquely designed him to do, I know God is going to bring clarity to my area of service within the church as well.  I know He created me with desires, gave me experiences and spiritual gifts, natural abilities, and has grown me in my spiritual walk thus far to serve Him wholeheartedly.  So now, I just need to wait and listen for His call.  Then like Matthew, I will jump in and serve, by His design.

 

 

--- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

The treasure chest of my heart...

Matthew 6:19-21  “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heave, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

If you grew up in the church like me, you likely have these verses memorized.  As I re-read them this week, I stopped to think about exactly what they meant, though.  In context, I’ve always focused on what I shouldn’t do.  Don’t be materialistic.  Don’t love ‘earthly stuff’ because you never saw a hearse pulling a U-Haul.  You just can’t take it with you.

But this time, I focused on the other part of the verse.  What we should do.  It says “store up for yourselves treasures in heaven.”  I stopped and thought that through.  What exactly is a “treasure in heaven?”  To figure it out, I had to make some lists and compare them.  I’d encourage you to take a minute and make your own list. 

Here’s the start of mine…and this list could go on and on, depending on how specific I got.

Treasures on Earth
My family	My home & everything in it	Friends
My character/reputation	Electronic devices	My clothes
Scrapbooks & pictures	Safety	Health
Insurance	Coffee	Diet Coke
My dishes (An un-named Banfill recently broke a large & irreplaceable bowl that was a gift from a friend.  After it breaking, let’s just say I realized that I held it as a treasure.)	My job (Yes, it’s a high stress job that wears me out, but I really do love it, and in some weird sense, I treasure it!)	Food, including my favorite coffee every morning, diet coke, desserts, steak…you get the idea

 

I think you get the idea.  “Treasures on earth” are the precious commodities that we own and would never decide to sell in a garage sale.  We can’t part with them.  They are the things that really have no eternal value or spiritual significance.  They are even things on our wish list (like seeing Michael Buble in concert or traveling to Austria to do the Sound of Music tour).  They are tangible; they are temporary; and according to Matthew, they are things that should not be stealing my affection. 

In truth, some of the things on the above list may crossover into the next category, too, depending on me and my attitude about them. 

Then I made a list of some “Treasures in Heaven” …if you’re like me, I think you’ll find this one is a bit more abstract, and it’s definitely not as easy.

 

Treasures in Heaven
Obedience to my heavenly Father – obedience when I don’t want to obey	Giving up my will for someone else to have their way, with a good attitude	Deeper relationship with my Heavenly Father, including Bible reading and prayer.
My Character/Reputation	Forgiveness, Godly Forgiveness	Giving freely
Sharing the love of God with people; going on mission trips.	Turning the other cheek when I’m hurt by another person.	My children, in relation to their spiritual wellbeing.
Investing myself in friendships, even when they aren’t reciprocated.	Leading people to Christ.	Consistency in my Christian walk.

 

Treasures in heaven are the spiritual things; the things that really matter.  As I prayed over my list, God showed me the primary element was obedience.  Every time I obey what God is asking me to do, treasures in heaven are stored, and literally everything on the list is a result of obedience.  If you made your own list, take a look and see if that’s the same for you. 

Another thing He showed me is that there is a distinct difference between “obedience” and “compliance.”  When God asks me to do the tough things, the things I have no desire to do, that just might be when some extra treasures in heaven are stored.  If He tells me to go on a mission trip, that’s a no brainer for me.  It’s something I love and desire to do at least once every year.  But let’s just say He tells me to go on a mission trip when I already have tickets to see Michael Buble in concert.  Am I still compliantly going to go on the mission trip?  Or am I obedient to go on the mission trip?  Or do I decide I can’t go, because of the conflict?  Good for me, I guess, God didn’t ask me to go on a mission trip when Michael Buble was in concert on August 3^rd in Austin, and according to Frank, good for our checking account, because tickets were too much money.  But the bottom line is that sometimes it’s easy to obey what God asks me to do because He often asks me to do things I already want to do.

Maybe you were a compliant child.  If you were, you probably won't relate to what I'm about to say. Although I wasn't a terrible teenager, I definitely wasn't compliant.  I had my share of arguments, insisting I was right, my parents were wrong, and no matter what, I would fight and insist for my way until I had laryngitis.  I wasn't so disrepectful to say my thoughts outloud, but in my head, I would have an ongoing soliloquy of everything that was wrong with my parents because they wouldn't “listen” to me and do what I wanted.  (Basically, I wanted them to conform themselves to my way!)  In truth, as a teenager, I just wanted to be heard.  If you're on the flip side, as a parent, you really do care.  But it’s because you love your child so much that (at least in my home) most of the time, no matter how much yelling, my initial decision stays the same.  The reality is that I love my kids too much to be one of those parents that caves to the pressures of parenting.  I am not willing to give up, no matter how hard it is.

And isn’t that the same about our heavenly Father?  He loves me so much that He keeps working on me.  He keeps asking me to yield my way to His.  Sometimes obedience is easy; sometimes it is not.  He knows best, and easy or hard, my job as a child of His is not to reply to Him with a soliloquy of all the reasons He is wrong and my way is better.  My job is to obey.  Trust and obey.

So as I thought about this passage in relation to both being a teenager and parenting one, when I can see that my child wants to do one thing but understands my way is best, when my child willingly gives up his/her own desires to yield to my way, well, that’s when treasures are stored in my momma-meter.  When my momma-meter starts to get full from the obedience being piled into it, then there are sure to be rewards for that exemplary behavior.

And spiritually speaking, I believe the Bible is pretty clear about God rewarding us for obedience, too. Some rewards are tangible, and some are spiritual, but throughout Scripture, it’s clear that God rewards obedience.  Here’s just a few verses, but I found many, many more in my search…

Hebrews 11:6  “And without faith, it is impossible to please God, for whoever draws near to God must believe that He exists and that He is a rewarder of those that diligently seek Him.”

Psalm 18: 19-24  “He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.  The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;  according to the cleanness of my hands He has rewarded me.  For I have kept the ways of the LORD; I have not done evil by turning from my God.   All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees. I have been blameless before him and have kept myself from sin.  The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.”

Hebrews 6:10  “For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown in His name in serving the saints…”

So now I come full circle with the deepest questions of this passage for me.  These are questions I've been praying over all week as I've read and re-read, asking God to show me the answers and conform me to His image.  Where are my rewards?  What am I stockpiling?  Am I surrendering my way to God’s way or am I practicing only compliant obedience?  And finally, where is the object of my daily affection?  Better yet, WHO is the object of my affection, moment by moment?

Although I didn't burst out in anger when I was informed of my broken bowl, if you could have seen the disappointment in my heart, you would know that God has some serious work to do on this cracked girl. Just like I won't give up on my children, I'm so thankful He doesn't give up on me, chips and all.

-- Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

Salt or Salty?

“You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?  It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men."  Matthew 5:13  

 

 

Having 2 teenagers, I tend to learn a few old words that have taken on new meaning.  In fact, I even throw them into conversation from time to time to help me feel ‘hip and cool’ among today’s generation. (Word to the wise – it doesn’t really work…)  Anyway, one such term is “salty.” 

salty  adjective 
The internal attitude that develops when you find yourself a victim of unfair circumstance and feel like you were given the short end of the stick. 

Maybe you don’t get bitter; maybe you’re even able to work through the situation emotionally, but the moment the subject is brought up again, you’re right there on the salty bandwagon again.  Even discussing the situation stings...like salt in a wound.  When that happens, you’re described as being really salty.

Then there’s the other salty that we are all familiar with - as in salty food. 

salty  adjective 
Tasting of or containing salt; saline

Have you ever met someone who automatically adds salt or pepper to their food before they even taste it?  Maybe you're one of those people.  It's a given, the words “pass the salt” come from their mouth just after hearing the “amen” in the prayer…or maybe even before.  

Well, let’s just say that I tend to be both extremes with these two salty descriptions.  I don’t really get bitter when I’m dealt a hand in life that I think is unfair, but sometimes, no matter how much I try or pray for God to help me, I do get a bit salty about the situation.  Just when I think I’m emotionally healed, something happens, and the thick scab is ripped open with salt being poured into it.  Ouch!  It’s not a good feeling, to say the least.

On the other hand, when it comes to food, I am not one of those salty people.  In fact, although we do own a salt shaker, it usually stays up in the cupboard with the spices, only making an occasional appearance at the dinner table when we have company in need of some extra flavor.  I don’t know if that means I have a bland palate, am a content person, or if I just love to eat so much that I don’t appreciate good flavor.  I’ll let you make your own deductions.

Well, if you follow my blog at all, you’ll notice a huge void over the last year.  Massive time seems to span between posts.  I’ve never really been one to not have something to say.  Ever.  But over the last year, that is not the case at all.  I have countless blogs started, only to delete them and never complete them.  I had a lot of half-thoughts, but not too many complete God-thoughts that I felt compelled to share.  Why?  At times that has been my eternal question to God.  Why do I feel so useless?  Why can’t I even seem to write a paragraph about what You’re teaching me?  Why does this hurt so bad?  As I tried to find answers, the repeated answer I received was that God wanted me to pretty much shut my mouth for a period of time.  When I stop blabbering, then I am a better listener for His still, small voice.

Thankfully, I’ve never had to endure a hurricane, but I do know that when a hurricane is about to hit, you really have only two choices: 

1)  Run for safe cover with your valuables and family
2)  Hunker down and endure the storm

Let’s be honest.  Hunkering down is not easy.  I would much rather choose the option behind door #1.  But over the last year, that’s not what God told me to do. 

He said, “Stay put and endure the storm.” 
He said, “I am your shelter.”
He said, “I am your provider.”
He said, “I am the only friend you need.”
He said, “I am all you need.” 
He said, “It’s not going to be easy.  People will fail you, but I never will.”
He said, “Trust me.  I know what is best.”

So imagine me, huddled up in a ball, protecting my heart, trying not to be hurt by the storms of life, all while waiting on God to show me the next move.  Every so often I would peak out the cracked window hoping to see a shimmer of light, only to realize the waves are crashing in again and it’s not safe to come out.

I don’t know how better to describe it.  In truth, if you don’t have a relationship with the Lord, you may dismiss what I’m describing as just going through “a funk.”  But for me, it’s truly been a year (plus) long massive hurricane of emotions.  It’s been a period of God silencing me so He can work on the deepest part of me.

You may not understand what I’m trying to say.  You see, some people are artists.  They express themselves through painting, and it’s what they have to do.  Some people feel that way about cooking.  I wish I felt that way about cleaning (others in my family may wish that, too), but I don’t.  However, I’ve always felt that one of my biggest ministries over the last few years has been through this blog.  When it comes to sitting down and stringing together random thoughts and simple applications that help point people to a relationship with Jesus, well, that’s my happy place.  And when there are long intervals between spending quality time in your happy place, even if God tells you to hunker down, it’s a tough place to be emotionally.  It’s like an insatiable craving for something you can’t have, even though that object of your craving is right in front of you. 

On Sunday evening, the weariness of hunkering down all these months had just about gotten me.  I felt so empty inside.  Frank and I talked through the whole gamut of emotions I was feeling, then we did the only thing we knew to do – pray.  After we finished praying together, I silently cried myself to sleep begging God over and over to start using me again, to bring back joy, and to not put me on a shelf to collect dust.  (Side note – Philippians 1:6  “I am confident of this that He who started a work in you will complete it!”  I was just too weary to remember this promise when I cried myself to sleep in prayer!)

It’s amazing how a good night’s sleep and some sweet Holy Spirit peace can change your perspective.  Monday morning I began my normal routine and started to have my quiet time, and as I read, my heart started to go to its happy place.  The more I read, the more He showed me, and the more excited I became.  With a glance out the window, the sun was shining, and this time I didn’t sense any big waves right behind it.  The next morning, my experience was similar, except the excitement and burning in me was a little hotter, deeper.  I finally felt as though God was gently blowing the dust off me, promising me He wasn’t done with me yet.

This week I had started reading in the book of Matthew.  I have two pages of observations and applications of what God was showing me in just the first four chapters, and then I got to chapter five. 

Matthew 5:13  “You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?  It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.  You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

Did you catch that?  “If the salt loses its saltiness, it is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out.”

Good for nothing.  Thrown out.  Isn’t that the same thing as God putting me on a shelf?  My biggest prayer and concern was addressed right before my eyes.  But as I read it repeatedly, I noticed the conditional statement.  It says IF the salt loses its saltiness THEN it is no longer good for anything. 

I read the verse again.  Multiple times.  And as I did, I prayed over it, asking God to show me the truths He wanted me to see.  What He showed me was that I had allowed myself to become a salty person.  And when I’m even a little salty about things, it prevents me from effectively being the salt of the earth.  In essence, the more salty I am, the more I lose my spiritual saltiness and the more useless I become. 

When God would allow one of those salt-water hurricane sized waves to encompass me, it would rip open scabs that I thought had already healed.  Then the cyclical burning of the salt in my wounds would start all over again.  The end result was little by little, I was becoming a salty person. 

But as I read this passage, I realized God wasn’t bringing the waves to make me feel the pain again.  He was allowing them to engulf me so that He could heal the deepest part of me.  Can I say this big revelation from God has brought about 100% healing at the time of writing this blog?  No, of course not.  But I do believe that just being conscious of what He’s trying to teach me has helped me discern His will better.  It’s given me renewed joy, and it’s definitely allowed me to have peace about the situations in my life that He has allowed.

I don’t know if what I’ve written resonates with anyone else but me, but it really doesn’t matter, actually.  What matters to me is that I am confidently reassured that God is not done with me.  He will complete His work in me.  Have I arrived?  Of course not.  He has so much more work to do on this self-imposed salty girl.  But as I daily take up my cross and drop my will for His, as I allow Him to wash and clean my deeply set wounds, He will continue to infuse that spiritual salt in me.  He will transform me into the kind of salty girl He wants to use. 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com