"Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him
to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them,
he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,
and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves
because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them,
walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified.
“It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them:
“Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Matthew 14:22-27
In case you missed the previous post, I'm writing for a few days on what new discoveries God is teaching me from the old story of Jesus walking on water. The first Discovery was that "Jesus sometimes pushes us right into the eye of the storm." (Matthew 14:22)
The next Discovery I have (and again, it's nothing new or profound, but just what God is showing me!) is that "When you're looking for Jesus, you'll know Him."
Take a look at the passage. As soon as Jesus bid "Bon Voyage" to the disciples and sent them off into the would-be storm, what did He do? Jesus took time get alone and pray. I wonder, what exactly did He pray about? He knew what was coming; He knew the outcome, and He knows the outcome of every single storm of life that ever took place and ever will. Yet, He took time to spend with the Father. To know His voice. They communed.
I can only think it was kind of like when you hang out with your best friend. You know everything about them, but you still want to hang with them more because you love them so much. You want to talk. Commune. You want nothing more. You can talk for hours. You want to talk for hours. There's no shortage of things to say. When they call you on the phone, all they have to do is say "Hey!" and you know it's them, even if you don't have caller ID!
I'm sure that's how Jesus was with His Father. And to be honest, this is an area of my spiritual life that needs more muscle. I need more time alone with my Father to talk. Commune. To hear His voice. For Him to hear mine. Conversation. Dialogue. To know His voice and recognize it so clearly that if He calls to me with one word, even a whisper, I'll know it's Him. Muscling up my prayer life starts with discipline. It doesn't just happen. It's a concerted effort, and it starts today.
On Sunday afternoon, I walked into our church bathroom, politely said hello to the person standing at the sink washing her hands, and proceeded to keep walking. After about 6-7 steps, my brain caught up with my eyes, and I turned around to do a double-take. Indeed, it was confirmed. That person at the sink - well, she was my own daughter. Granted, I hadn’t seen her that day to know what she was wearing, and in my defense, she did have her hair fixed a little differently. Yet I walked right past my own flesh and blood. My own family. Never in a million years would I have thought I would do that, yet it's exactly what I did.
“I didn’t even recognize you,” I told her. She gave me one of those teenaged looks like, "Mom, you are bonafide and certifiably crazy!" (Which I am, because my kids made me that way, you know. I have an excuse, at least.) On the way home, she asked me how and why did that even happen? The only thing I could come up with was “I wasn’t looking for you.”
And I think that’s exactly why the disciples were so afraid while they were in the boat. Take a look at verse 26. They were in the middle of a terrible storm, and instead of looking for Jesus in it, it was easier to think that image in front of them was a ghost. It’s not that they didn’t want to look for Jesus, it’s more so that they didn’t even think of Jesus.
How often are we in the middle of a storm and all we can think of is the things that scare us the most? Or perhaps all we can think of is how we're going to get out alive? But maybe the real thing we should be doing is looking for Jesus in the middle of the storm. It's a discipline. Human nature tells us to look inward, to buckle down, stand tall, and weather the storm. I can't help but think this story might be different if the disciples were actually aware that Jesus was with them and there was no need for fear.
We all react differently in our storms of life. Me, well, I tend to buckle down and hold my breath as long as I can, come up for air, then hold it a little longer. I don't really worry or obsess over the situation. My human nature is to "be strong and get through it." Now don't get me wrong, I do rely on God in the storms of life. But there's something different about this "looking for Him" in the storms. And I think that discipline is accomplished only through knowing His voice, the way Jesus set the example for us.
I can't say that "looking for God" in the storm is a normal practice of mine, and I'm thinkin' that my perspective needs some changing. Once again, I'm thankful for God giving me this little Discovery #2 - When you're looking for Jesus, you'll know Him.
---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com