"...and Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan.
He said to the Israelites, in the future, when your descendants ask their fathers,
'What do these stones mean?' Tell them, 'Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.'
For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over...
He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and that you might always fear the Lord your God."
Joshua 4:19-24
Some of you may know my story, some do not. Track with me, please, because this concept of Living Stones, combined with the timing of this weekend, is my driving force in writing right now.
It was five years ago this summer that I found out I had Follicular Thyroid Cancer. I underwent back-to-back surgeries, an extensive (and expensive) radiation treatment, followed by something called an "i-131 Whole Body Scan." Here's how it works. Thyroid cells are the only cells in the body that soak up iodine. For two weeks prior to the first radiation treatment, I had to be on a low-iodine diet, basically starving my cells of iodine. Then I went to the Nuclear Medicine department of Baylor in downtown Dallas, signed my life away, and swallowed a radioactive iodine pill. I had to stay in isolation for several days, and then I had to go back to Baylor for this big body scan. As the pill made its way through my system, it would kill any remaining thyroid cells along the way, but if there was any area that had a large amount of thyroid cells together, they would show up on the scan, indicating the cancer had metasticized.
And that brings me to today. It was exactly five years ago today, on Friday, July 27, 2007, that I had that first body scan. I had Aflac supplementary cancer insurance, so before I left the hospital, I filled out the paperwork to have them send me the written report of the scan so I could submit it to Aflac. To my surprise, by 3 PM that afternoon, I had a fax from the hospital with the results.
Now, I'm no doctor, but I could tell that this report was not a favorable one. I immediately called my doctor and waited for her to call back. Unfortunately, calls after 3 PM weren't returned until the next business day, so there I sat, me and the internet, to try to figure out what this all meant.
If you know me, I'm the kind of person who hates surprises. I like to be "in the know" about things at all times. Let's just say patience is not my best virtue, in fact, I don't hold much of this virture if I were completely honest. So by Saturday morning, I couldn't stand the suspense any longer, and I devised a plan to get some answers. We had a radiologist friend from our church who had moved to Oklahoma, so at 9 AM Saturday morning, I gave him a call. After a brief run-down of what I'd been going through, I read him the report, word for word, start to finish. Then I asked him that poignant question, "So, is this saying that the cancer might have spread to my spine?"
My mind can still replay his answer to me like it was yesterday.
"No Beth, that means it did spread. I'm sorry, you have bone cancer."
I let the words sink in. I replayed them over and over again in my mind. Frank and I talked it over, prayed together, let it soak in as much as possible, and then - well, then we got ready for the day. You see, our daughter Amber had a volleyball game to play in, and even with bad news, life still moves around you. I'm not one to wallow with bad news, and I tend to surround myself with people to keep my mind off things.
After my second surgery, my vocal chords were damaged, and I could only produce a raspy whisper. But I went to the game, ready to cheer on my daughter's team, even if I could only do it with loud clapping. Amber played on an amazingly talented team of girls, but these girls had some pretty special and Godly parents, too. Among those were Steven and Jennifer Polk. Steven is the worship pastor at Firewheel Church in Garland, TX, and I remember sitting there, telling Jennifer with my broken voice, the results of the scan I had just had. Then Jennifer said, "You know, our church is having a 'Night of Worship' this Sunday night. I know you can't sing right now, but why don't you come and just let the Holy Spirit minister to you?''
When Jennifer invited me, I really believe God confirmed in my heart that I should go. I knew it was going to be a special night, and if I didn't go, I would miss some sort of blessing that God had for me. I thanked Jennifer and told her I would try my best to be there. We had Vacation Bible School kick-off at my church that Sunday night, so Frank agreed to take our kids there, then meet me at Jennifer & Steven's church later. So I wouldn't be late, I rode with another friend and volleyball mom who attended their church.
I walked in and immediately saw a good friend of ours, Sam Ingrassia. Sam works for the missions agency we used to work with (now called E3 Partners), and he is the team leader for all the Colombia trips I've taken. I looked at him in shock with an immediate "What are you doing here?" comment. Funny, I had no idea at all he was a member of Firewheel Church or even connected to it! I then told Sam I probably wasn't going to Colombia with him in October, and I shared the results of the scan.
It was evident that a lot of prayer had gone into that Night of Worship. I felt as though I was in the presence of Almighty God, and truly, I believe I was. The Firewheel church family seemed to know all the music that the worship team sang, and there was one song, almost the "theme song" for the night, that God really used to speak truth to me. It was Matt Redman's "You Never Let Go." I had never heard this song before, but the words were powerful, especially given my circumstances. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't even attempt to sing, because of my vocal chords. But I know I worshipped God that night nonetheless, just soaking up the words on the screen and listening to that amazing worship team deliver God's message...as if it was just for me.
********
You Never Let Go
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back I know you are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth
(Chorus)
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You.
********
As the Night of Worship came to a close, Pastor Steven told the congregation that if anyone had a prayer need, that they should come forward and there would be people in the front to pray with them. Sure, I had a prayer need, but I also had a death grip on the chair in front of me. This wasn't my home church, and although I knew a lot of people there, in my mind, that invitation to go forward to pray was not for me. OK, being honest, I felt like Steven was talking just to me with a personal invitation, but I still had that death grip on the chair in front of me.
The next thing I knew, Sam Ingrassia was right next to me, telling me "Come on. God is telling me to pray over you." How could I argue with Sam? Or more so, how could I argue with God? Together, Frank and I walked up front with Sam and kneeled at the alter. Sam prayed over me like I've never had someone pray over me in all my life. He called on God to heal me and spoke with Holy Spirit power that only God can give. I could hear other people praying softly around me. I felt their touch as I was surrounded by people, some friends, others who just surrounded me to pray. I have no idea how long Sam prayed, only that I felt the Holy Spirit move in my life like I have never experienced before or since.
On the way home from the Night of Worship, on the way back to our own church to get our children, Frank and I talked about the night and the outpouring of God Almighty on the evening. I can't remember my exact words, but they went something like this, "You may think this is crazy, but in my heart of hearts, I believe God healed me tonight. And if He didn't, I know He is going to heal me, whether through a miracle or modern medicine, but I know He will." That Night of Worship was Sunday, July 29th, 2007. Five years ago this weekend.
And today, I claim that miracle as truth and give God the glory.
The next week, I met with my doctor who talked through the report with the radiologist and then with me. They sent me for another scan to further identify the region where the cancer had spread. But this time, the scan showed nothing abnormal. Did you hear that? Nothing! The same radiologist compared the two scans, and decided he must have made an error. Yes, that's what must have happened. The cancer hadn't spread to my spine, the radiologist just read the $13,000+ body scan incorrectly. Yes, now he said that the cancer had actually spread to my lungs. So they sent me for a CT scan of my lungs. Once again - nothing! Finally, they did one more scan a few weeks later, just for good measure, and my doctor announced her bewilderment. I remember her doctor saying, "I don't know..." And I interrupted her with something like, "Well, I do know! I believe God healed me!" I was then able to share my experience from the Night of Worship. She looked at me with unbelieving eyes, but she couldn't refute what I was saying. After all, we have the evidence glowing on film!
And as you read this, like my doctor, you may read with unbelieving eyes. You may look at this as propaganda - "Information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view." (dictionary.com)
Propaganda? No. Personal experience? Yes. You see, it's my story. It's my story of God's healing in my life, and believe in God or not, believe in modern day miracles or not, no one can argue with my personal experience.
And that brings me back full circle to Part One of this blog. I've known that the five year anniversary of that Night of Worship was upcoming. I had been reading in Joshua how the Lord parted the Jordan River and made a way for the Israelites to cross on dry land. Then what did Joshua do? He took twelve stones from the Jordan and set up a memorial. He did this "so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and that you might always fear the Lord your God." Those stones that he placed, in essence, were living stones, telling the story of God's power and faithfulness to Israel.
For me, I've been consumed, even plagued as of late with tying these two thoughts together...Living Stones incorporated into something tangible to give God glory for the miracle of healing me, much like what Joshua did. I couldn't let the thought die, it was something I had to do. I was compelled and driven (and I'm sure I've almost driven my husband crazy with it, too!) We have spent days talking about different possibilities. We have spent hours at every store we can find trying to find just the right memorial that we can do to honor this concept, to simply honor God without simplifying Him. We even considered planting a tree, until a friend told us that trees planted in July have a 20% chance of survival. Considering the reason for the planting, we opted against that idea pretty quickly.
Finally, I believe we found the solution to my yearning desires - we settled on creating and dedicating a "Living Stones Fountain." We strategically placed it in our front tree lawn, with stones that were left over from the construction of our home built-up around it. I liked the idea of combining a fountain and stones, because of the symbolism of Christ being our "Living Water" and the stones come alive only through that Living Water. You see, without God, without this Living Water, I believe things would be very different for me.
And so on Sunday afternoon at 4 PM, we will dedicate this Living Stone Fountain to God. If you are in the Dallas metroplex, you are welcome to come join us as we give God thanks for all He's done, as we remember what He did five years ago, Sunday July 29th, 2007. We will pause to thank Him for His power and faithfulness. Why? "so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and that you might always fear the Lord your God."
And isn't that what it's about? Making sure all the people of the earth know how powerful and mighty the hand of God is? Sure, what we will dedicate on Sunday is a memorial, a remembrance, for what God has done in my life. But the truth is that each child of God's should be the same kind of living stone. As it says in I Peter 2:5 "You also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house..."
With Christ as the cornerstone, our lives are being built in Him. As we allow His love to show through our lives, we become Living Stones. We are alive. We can speak of God's faithfulness! And the message we speak, it's not propaganda! We can know and have security in His plan, no matter what it is, because He is always faithful. In a sense, we can predict the future, because we know one thing will never change, and that is our God.
Will you join me on Sunday at 4 PM? And if you cannot be here, please take time to thank God for His faithfulness in your life and mine. Will you join me in committing yourself to be a Living Stone?
---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com