I'm impulsive, maybe even compulsive sometimes. Yeah, I admit it. They say the first step to facing the problem is admitting you have a problem. Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was in Kohl's and saw this awesome looking contraption called a "Cake Ball Maker." I told my husband, I want that for Mother's Day. I laid it on thick, let me tell you. I had never seen one of those things before, but this deluxe model was calling my name, loud and clear. So on Mother's Day, after we ate dinner, no cards were presented to me. No big boxes with a cake ball maker inside. I think they made me wait on purpose, just to teach me a lesson. Because after about 15 minutes, my husband said, as if he had forgotten, "Oh, we have a card for you!" Sure enough, the kids appeared with a beautiful card and a big Kohl's bag with, of course, the deluxe model Cake Ball Maker...the exact one I demanded...I mean requested.
If you don't have one of these things, let me tell you, it's a must. We've already used it well worth the money invested. They are fun, easy, and yes, they can be time consuming to do, depending on how much time you want to invest into these little tasty things. I posted pictures of my little creations on Facebook, and one of my friends went out and bought herself one within a few days.
So I started to think through the whole "cake ball" process. And truly, that's what it is, a process. Short-cuts could be taken. But if I was really going to make them the right way, if they were really going to turn out the way they should and still look and taste good, it was a bit of lengthy process of creation.
Our pastor has been preaching a series on discipleship the last several weeks, and it made me think about how becoming like Father, my Master Creator, is a life-long process. I will never be the perfectly rounded cake-ball, perfectly decorated cake-ball...but little by little, if I let Him, He's decorating me to be in His image. He's challenging me to move in the path of obedience. The more I walk in obedience, the more I realize how far I am from being a true disciple.
I was recently challenged with this issue of obedience. As many of you know, my husband Frank leads our church's work in Tanzania. He's taking a team in June, and one of the female team members has had health issues and isn't able to go. Her and her husband graciously offered to donate their funds so someone else could still make the trip. The obvious choice for Frank was to ask me. I have a passport, I have had all my shots required for Africa travel. Miraculously, no one was scheduled off work during the planned trip, and yet another miracle, my mom was already in town for the duration of the trip so she could watch our two teenaged children. All that needed done was for me to find a ticket for me on the same flights (as you can imagine, not a difficult task, since I'm a travel agent) and most importantly, pray about whether I should go. Depending on the cost of the ticket, I would have to also raise some funds to cover the non-refundable fees of the lady not able to go. It all seemed like a simple answer, a no-brainer, right?
But as I prayed about it, and as God opened the doors, I came back at Him with a few of my own concerns to address the situation. "But God, You know how much I hate to leave work for so long. That's a long trip, and I'm going to be more exhausted when I return from trying to catch up." "But God, that's going to use up a big chunk of my vacation, and You know I don't get as much as I used to now that I have a new job." "But God, what if something happened to us while we were gone? What about our kids?" "But God, I don't have any "missionary" clothes. They have to wear frumpy long dresses in Africa, and I'm used to going to Colombia every year where I can be comfortable!" "But God...." Yes, I had a lot of excuses. In my heart, I wanted to go, but the anxiety over some key issues was raging a tug-of-war for my heart. Finally, it came time to make a decision, and this time, Frank couldn't make it for me. As I prayed, God clearly showed me all my questions, ok let's be honest, all the excuses I was giving for not going were not really valid ones at all. In fact, I couldn't come up with one excuse that was valid. He had paved a miraculous way for me to go to Tanzania, and the answer was clear - YES - I should go.
I was able to get a ticket. I was able to get the time off. I was even able to actually find some of those "missionary clothes" at Ross Dress4Less (perhaps my new favorite store) for super cheap, and you know what? These dresses are something I will actually wear out in public! I actually love them, and there's no way that anyone would even think they're frumpy!
Don't get me wrong. My heart beats for missions. I don't usually make excuses about going on a mission trip. My husband and I met on my first international mission trip back in college. Since then, I have taken a mission trip almost every year for twenty plus years. We rarely get to to go on mission trips together these days. Because of having kids, we always go separately and even work in different parts of the world. As I look back, this decision whether to go to Tanzania seemed to be a no-brainer, but the truth is, it was a matter of discipleship. It was a matter of obedience. Every excuse I gave God could have been considered valid. OK, maybe almost everyone, except the frumpy clothes excuse.
This morning as I look back over my sermon notes on the Discipleship series, and some key things have jumped out that I didn't even think of while listening to the sermon. (Another great reason why note-taking is so important! You never know when God will use something said 2-3 weeks later, even years later!)
1. With discipleship, we have to count the cost. In context, Pastor was talking about giving, but for me, it can be applied to my committing to go without having the extra funds to cover it. We still need to raise about $500 to cover my extra expenses that were not covered by the donation. If you would like to help, you can donate at www.maxpoint.org. Thank you in advance if you can help. $500 isn't a lot to raise, but I leave a week from Wednesday, June 6th. That's kind of short notice, but I know it's plenty of time for God!
2. With discipleship, we have to count the relational cost. (Luke 9) For me, that was leaving my kids at home in the hands of God and my capable mom. Pastor said, "You can't allow your family to keep you from fully following God."
3. Every true disciple must answer the question, am I quitting or committing?...God is calling us to faith. Faith in action. Wow! When he was preaching, I didn't realize He was preaching to ME. I certainly never thought I had "arrived" as a Christian, but as I look back at my heart-struggle over whether to go to Tanzania on this trip, and as I look at my notes, God was using my pastor to talk directly to me!
So back to the cake balls. After the trip, I don't know what I'm going to look like. From the outside, I'm sure I'll not look much different except for some mosquito bites and sunburn along the way. But no, not from the outside, but from the inside. I hope the Master is going to make me and mold me into more like His creation and less like me. Just like the cake-balls, it's a process. And it's one that I want so desperately to take place. I want someone to look at me and know that I am His creation. That I was once a cracked egg who was formed into a delicious master creation by the Master Creator. May we all be cake-ball Christians.
---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com