GodandMe2theMax

"My ways are not your ways."

Isaiah 55:8-9 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

This is the verse God has had me chewing on the last 24 hours. Maybe a better description is that it's been gnawing at me rather than me chewing on it.

You see, since Wednesday, I've been with my daughter's high school debate team at their national qualifier tournament. By far, it's been the most discouraging competition that I've ever attended as a parent. Our debate team was expected to do very well. The coach told me he's usually nervous going into this tournament, but this year he felt they were more prepared than ever. However, one by one, the leading debaters and orators from our school were dropping like flies, with quite questionable judging. I listened as the students told me about the repeated unfairness in their rounds. Controversy abounded, including in my daughter Amber's event of Original Oratory (OO). I shook my head as she was eliminated from the competition just before the final round.

Amber's speech surrounds the medical journey we've encountered with my son Jacob. It's personal and powerful, and she delivers it incredibly well. In fact, she delivered it perfectly in every round throughout the competition, yet she was still eliminated, in spite of others who advanced while forgetting their lines. A travesty? If you witnessed what I witnessed, you may think so, too. However, my ever spiritual husband reminded me that if God wanted her to go to nationals and tell Jacob's story, He would have provided a way for her to do just that.

"Thank you, Frank, for stating the obvious." OK, ok, he meant well. But sometimes you really don't need your spouse to tell you what you already know. To be honest, that just made me more mad. He meant well, he really did. But the truth is that I didn't want to hear the truth from him. I didn't want to accept this travesty as truth.

We got in at 1 AM Sunday morning, but even though it was late, I was determined to go to church. I knew I needed to. I knew God was going to speak to me. I knew I needed Him to speak to me. Sure enough, He did. You know what He said? He told me, "My ways are not your ways." And when He did, it was as if I heard it for the first time, even though I'd been chewing on it for about 24 hours. I needed Him to whisper that to me. He actually had, via my sweet husband. But at the time, I wasn't willing to listen or accept it. But today I heard it loud and clear as we sang the Hillsong song "Still." The chorus is so powerful:

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God.

I don't know about you, but I just can't sing a song without thinking through every word. I was holding it together until I got to the "I will be still and know You are God" part; then I lost it. How can I sing that if I don't believe it? Can I actually drop the anger and frustration welling within me and "be still?"

With the events of the weekend, was God in control? Sure, my rational mind tells me yes, of course. But the emotional momma in me was outraged, hurt, angered, and just questioned how God could let this happen. I mean, Amber took two second places in OO this year, and first in all the other tournaments where she competed in OO. How could she be eliminated when two of the ones who ended up advancing to nationals had never even taken second to her all year? Why? How? These are questions I'll probably never have concrete black and white answers for. However, God gave me an answer this morning. Simply put, "my ways aren't His ways."

I must say, that Amber is an example to me. She was of course shocked and very upset at first, but she's made a choice to not dwell on it. She's moved on. She knows she did her best, and nothing can take away the pride she feels in doing so.

I sure wish things turned out differently this last weekend, not just for Amber. She's only a sophomore this year, but some of her teammates were seniors, and this was their last chance to go to Nationals. Seniors who like Amber, repeatedly beat out the ones who did end up advancing. But when I am tempted to pick up the anger and emotions again, I must remember these verses in Isaiah 55:8-9 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

May I reach for higher thoughts and take the higher road. May I learn, and may I grow. And May I fall more in love with Jesus every day as He teaches to trust His ways are best.

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

100% Pure

Titus 1:15-16a "To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny Him..."

So as I read this morning, I was struck by these verses. I have several friends who claim to be Christians yet their actions don't match what I believe a Christian should look like. It's always a struggle for me because I don't want to outright judge them for differences in views, but at the same time, hypocrisy is something I have a very low tolerance for.

Think about it. When you go to a grocery store, how often do you see the word "pure" listed as an ingredient? 100% Pure Cane Sugar. 100% Pure Vanilla. 100% Pure Cosmetics. 100% Pure Fruit Juice. I could go on and on. But what will happen to one of those food ingredients if you add a drop of vinegar? That once sweet, pure thing turns sour. It's corrupted. Sure, the bottle will still have the label "pure" but the inside denies the truth.

Purity. In today's society, when you say that word, the first thing to pop into your mind is in relation to sexual activity outside of marriage. But purity is so much more than that. It's holiness. Seeking God. Confessing sin daily. Matthew 5:8 says "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." What does it mean? Blessed are those whose minds, motives, and principles are pure; who seek not only to have the external actions correct, but who desire to be holy in heart, and who are so. Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. (Barne's Notes on the Bible)

Just another reminder, as it says in Malachi 2:15 "Guard yourself in your spirit." We must daily be on the lookout for attacks from the enemy. He walks around like a lion trying to devour us. He wants to inject us with his venom so much that we've built an immunity to it, not even knowing it's happened.

No, I will never be 100% Pure love. 100% Pure Beautiful. 100% Pure Anything. Not on this earth anyway. But I can definitely purge those ingredients that are making me unlovely, ugly, and unpure. May my mind never be so corrupted that I claim to know God with my lips but my actions deny Him.

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Pulling off the blindfold...

When I was a teenager, my friend Anne and I used to take turns blindfolding each other while the other would drive around town. When we were done, the one who was blindfolded had to try to guess where we ended up. We always tried to be pretty creative with our turns and circles, so much that in the end, no matter how hard we tried to follow the turns, the guess of the final destination was usually wrong. Our sneaky lefts and rights had left the other disoriented enough to not know the truth.

That's where I was last night. Blindfolded by some sneaky lefts and rights thrown at me from the deceiver himself...so much to the point that I was disoriented from the truth.

Do you ever get in one of those moods? Maybe you can relate. Everything sets you on edge, and you have this angst in your spirit. Well yesterday evening, I was overcome with that exact emotion. I didn't feel it earlier in the day, but I have a feeling it's been there for a while...building. One thing set me off, and needless to say I got pretty ugly. And stayed that way. Even after everyone went to bed, I laid in bed, unable to sleep, just being plain miserable. Miserable with everyone around me. Miserable with situations out of my control. Miserable with my emotions. Miserable with...me.

As I often do when I can't sleep, I started praying. It's amazing when you ask God to reveal Himself to you how His Holy Spirit does just that. It didn't take long for me to see the problem. Me. (It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out - the problem is always me!) I've had a busy week, back and forth to Jacksonville, Florida, lots of extra hours at work to catch up from being out of the office, and something had to give. Unfortunately, I made the wrong choice, and the thing that "gave" for me was my quiet time.

As a seasoned Christian, I made a calculated error. "It won't matter if I miss spending a few days with my best friend. I'll catch up later, when I have time." The truth is, for me, if I'm not seeking God every single day, then I'm not growing. I went to bed thanking God that His mercies are fresh every morning. I went to bed knowing changes needed to be made in my morning schedule, and today will be different. He removed that blindfold that was disorienting me.

This morning as I sat down to read, the Lord brought my attention to these verses in 2 Peter 1:5-9.

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. "

"Make every effort." Hmmm...nope, definitely I haven't made every effort to do much of anything but work lately. Ok, well, maybe I've made every effort to do the exact opposite of some of these things. Truth is, it comes so naturally that I didn't have to try much at all. I've defininitely not made every effort to add to my faith goodness, knowledge (and we won't even go there with the self-control issue when it comes to my raging temper the last few days!)...perseverance, godliness, mutual affection (what's that?!?) and love. Love? I've been so blinded.

"Add to your faith." ... "Increasing measure." Not only does God give me a big list of things I should be working on here, but He says to add to my faith and possess these qualities in increasing measure. If I can't measure my growth, if these things are not being added to my character daily, then it doesn't matter how seasoned of a Christian I am, I'm not in God's will, and I have been blindfolded.

You know, most people who are blind do not lose their sight overnight. Sure, some are born blind, and some have injuries that cause immediate blindness, but the majority of people lose their sight, over time. It's a process. And that's just how satan gets us. A little at a time. He chinks away at us when we least suspect it, when our guard is down, hoping to disorient us to the truth of who we are and where we should be in Christ.

I decided I would write what was on my heart about this, and I was shocked to see that I haven't even blogged once this year. Not once. Shame on me. I love writing. I love sharing what God's been doing in my life. But it looks like that blindfold has been attached a little longer than even I was aware.

Let me never forget what God has done for me. How he saved me. What a filthy person I could be and am without Him. Let me never allow the enemy to blindfold me, even for a moment. He is the great deceiver. He will go to no lengths to make lefts and rights and trick me into thinking I should be somewhere else. I am God's child. I will add to my faith. Increase in measure. And I refuse to go blind.

--Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com