Judas. Not a name listed near the top of the most popular baby names. Aside from the rock band Judas Priest, I don't know of anyone else with that name. Variations, maybe, but still an unlikely choice for expecting parents.
I've been reading in the Gospels the last few weeks, and this morning I can't seem to get Judas Iscariot and Peter's denial of Christ out of my mind. I have so many random thoughts about this right now...perhaps I'm in need of some ADD medicine to sort them all out. I unfortunately have none prescribed to me, so coffee will have to do.
First, Jesus chose Judas Iscariot as one of His twelve disciples. Yes, even though Jesus knew the decision Judas would ultimately make, Jesus wanted Him to be a disciple. I Peter 3:9 says "the Lord is not willing for any to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." Jesus chose Judas. And Jesus chooses everyone. He died for the world, and if you're part of the world, then He died for you. How many millions of people throughout history have rejected Christ as Lord, just like Judas? How many millions of people today know about Christ, but they do not choose to make a commitment for Him.
Then I think of Judas' free choice to commit the acts he did. Out of greed, selfish ambition, frustration, or perhaps we'll never know, but Judas chose to turn Jesus over for thirty pieces of silver. (Mark 14:10) Of course Jesus knew the ultimate plan, but Judas acted on his own free will. God didn't make him do it so he could be a puppet in the historical plan. God never forces us against our will. That's one thing I love about Christianity. Some people think it's a bunch of rules to follow. I believe it's just the opposite. I have such joy and freedom in my life because of my relationship with Jesus Christ.
I often wonder how Judas could be part of the twelve, daily walk with Jesus, yet not realize He was the Christ, the Promised One. From what I can tell through Scripture, Judas looked like a disciple. He hung out with the disciples. He ate at the Last Supper with the other disciples. Yet, I don't think he ever truly realized who Jesus was. The notes in my NIV Study Bible use the term an "uncommitted pretender." I wonder how many Judas' we have around us. People we think are followers of Christ because they hang with the right crowd. Only God knows our hearts, but studying Judas definitely gives me pause to think.
It's easy to point the finger at Judas; after all, he's the one who betrayed Jesus. Yet sometimes we forget every single one of those disciples deserted Jesus when He was taken out of the Garden. Yes, Peter watched from a distance, but when recognized, he denied knowing Him...not once, but three times. Peter likely figured if he was identified with Jesus then he would suffer the same painful consequences.
Now, I consider myself a committed Christian, yet I often wonder what I would have done if I had been in Peter's shoes. You see, I'm a big chicken when it comes to pain. I avoid it at all costs; really, who doesn't? If I have dental work done, even the slightest bit, I ask for extra gas. I was mortified to learn a few years ago that I had to have a thyroid biopsy done with no pain medication...nothing to even calm me down. Surprisingly, I made it through without a problem. You see, I actually have a fairly high pain tolerance. The problem is a big four letter word - FEAR. It is what controls me in these situations. Yes, Beth and Fear are not a good combination. So as Christians, it's easy to point the finger at Peter or at those who abandoned Jesus. I would like to think I wouldn't be with that crowd. In my heart, I can purpose that I will take a stand for Christ no matter what the threat on my life is. Peter said the same thing. "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." (Mark 14:31) But like Peter, until that point of reckoning comes, actions speak louder than words.
Back to Judas. The Bible says he regretted what he had done. He was so miserable with his actions that he tried to return the 30 pieces of silver. He realized he had made a mistake...but it was too late to undo the wrong done. In his own misery, he hung himself. How I wish this story ended differently. How I wish Judas had just waited three more days to see the truth in the situation. Yes, Jesus would die, but three days later He would conquer sin and death. How I wish Judas would have reconciled with Jesus before taking his life.
How many times do we take similar actions as Judas? No, we may not commit high treason and suicide, but we often realize we've made a huge mistake in our life. But then, like Judas, we stop there. We're miserable with the choices we've made. Miserably depressed. Why is it so hard to swallow our pride and go to the person we've wronged to ask for forgiveness? Why don't we go to Jesus Christ and ask Him to forgive us for our actions?
In a sense, I pity Judas. He experienced life with Christ, but he had no idea what it meant to live for Christ. There's so many things to learn from this well known Bible story--so many parallels to life today and decisions we make. This morning I'm praying for strength in times of fear. I'm praying for boldness in times of confrontation. I'm praying for reconciliation in broken relationships. And I'm praying for salvation for those who are rejecting Christ, like Judas did. No, I am not a Judas, but in this context, I don't want to be a Peter, either. I just want to be the best faithful Beth, follower of Christ, I can be.
---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com