GodandMe2theMax

If you were a fruit, what would you be and why?

"Give me another one, mom."  "Ask me some more."  This is what I repeatedly heard from Amber when she was prepping for an interview at a recent competition.  She was on a roll, but there comes a point when a girl is prepared and you just need to stop.  Besides that, I was just plain out of good questions to ask her.  She pleaded.  She smiled.  I caved.

Finally I said, "If you were a fruit, what would you be and why?"  Amber has this ability to think on the fly and give answers to crazy questions like that as if she knew the question in advance.  She didn't miss a beat in responding.  Her answer was something to the effect that if she were a fruit, she would definitely be a grape.  They are sweet on the inside, and everyone loves the color purple.  They are fun to eat, and they're also quite versatile.  You can eat them with your hands or even turn them into juice to drink. 

This morning I was reading in Matthew 7 and was reminded of that exchange between Amber and I.  I love how God constantly puts circumstances in our lives that can be applied to Biblical principles.  I find that all we have to do is look for it.  Here's the passage from Matthew 7:

15 Watch out for false prophets.  They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.
16 By their fruit you will recognize them.  Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?
17 Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.
18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit
19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them

As I thought of the fruit parallels, I couldn't help but think about the Biblical ones as well.  Am I grape for God?  Am I attached to the vine, gaining life and growing for Him?  Yes, this is a recurring theme in what I write about, because God seems to always be reminding me to not be content where I am with Him.  I consider myself a mature Christian, but complacency can creep in without me even noticing it.  I need to constantly be asking myself if I am growing.

Or am I raisin?  Have I shriveled up because someone has hurt me, leaving me away from the vine?  Has the desert of life taken a beating on me and caused me to wither away?

Galatians 5 tells us that a Christian's fruits should be love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.  I know which one of these fruits is a constant struggle for me.  How about you? 

Jesus says every Christian should be bearing good fruit, and by our fruit people will know we are Christians.  What kind of fruit are you producing?  Are you sharing your faith with others?  Are you investing yourself in someone else to help them know God better?  Are you actively memorizing Scripture and having time alone with God each day, reading the Bible?  What would your answer be if God said, "Are you a fruit, what kind and why?

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Monday Memory Verse - Ephesians 3:20 - BHAG for God

Ephesians 3:20  "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us."

This weekend my daughter is at a competition whose theme is "I am a girl with dreams."  As I prepped her for an interview, I asked her, "What is the most important goal you have and why?"   Her answer, "The most important thing to me is to be known as a person of character."  Then she proceeded to tell me why this was so important.  Pretty good answer for a fourteen year old, and definitely a better goal than I ever had as a teenager. 

As I asked Amber about her goals, I started thinking toward myself and what things God would want me to do.  What are my dreams?  In business, it's called a BHAG...a Big Hairy Audacious Goal.  What's my BHAG for God?  I am a girl with dreams, too.  Maybe I'm 25+ years older and definitely not in any kind of competition, but I believe God wants me to dream big for Him.

What dreams do you have for God?  What do you want to accomplish in your Spiritual life?  What do you want to see God do through you?  Think big---as big as you can possibly imagine.  Now re-read the verse.  God is able to do more than we ask or can even imagine, according to His power that works within us.

That blows my mind, because I have some really big dreams to accomplish for the Lord.  Yet, as big as they are, God is able to do so much more through me that I can't even fathom it.  So if you haven't made goals for the Lord, start today.  Pray about them.  Ask God for vision for the future.  Write your goals out.  Dream big!  God can fulfill them and so much more.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Exposed - a Christian or a fraud?

Matthew 5:16  "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they will see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

2 Corinthians 6:3  "We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will no be discredited." 

2 Corinthians 6:17  "...come out from among them and be separate."

I recently read a book about a secular guy who decided to write a story about what it's like to live as and be a Christian.  He went incognito in a Christian setting with young adults his own age.  He chose his words carefully to lead everyone to believe he was a Christian.  He wanted to live with Christians, understand them, understand the Bible, and then compare what he was being taught to how he was actually raised.  He joined prayer groups, praying right along side others.  He joined the choir.  He joined Bible Study groups.  He even went on a mission trip.

I struggled as I read the book..so much so that I'm not even sure I would recommend it to someone.  (Thus, the vague description and no book title listed!)  You see, this guy's final words were something to the effect that most of the Christians he met were no different than his secular friends, and to him, that was a positive thing.  He had overcome his stigma of Christians.  In that sense, Christians were portrayed in a good light...kind of a FOX news 'fair and balanced" approach.  However, it killed me to read his words of how most of the Christians he met were no different than him. 

In the end of his five month Christian indoctrination, the author ultimately did not change his beliefs that there was only one way to get to heaven.  No, his core beliefs didn't change, but his pre-conceived negative slant on Christians did change.  He learned to pray, and he kind of liked that feeling of praying for others.  It made him feel better.  He also found out that serving others makes you feel good, even if you're not serving God.

As I read the book, I really tried to have the same "fair and balanced" approach.  Certainly, I didn't agree with the author's world-view, but I did appreciate the evidential fact that he was trying to understand it all without casting judgment.  There were times that I wanted to write a rebuttal to some of his comments about Christian beliefs that were taken out of context.  In the end, I think it was good for me to read it, because it just enlightened me to my need to be different. 

Think about it.  What if one day you found out that your best friend was hanging out with you, going to church with you, and praying with you---just for a story.  How would you be portrayed in the book?  After finding out the author's real "mission", one of his friends told him, "Man, I wish I would have known.  I would have acted differently."  It pains me to see and read about people who claim to be a Christian - a representative of Christ - but they live their lifestyle no differently than the person who doesn't give a rip about God. 

Reading the book challenged me to live out 2 Corinthians chapter six and especially the verse listed above in Matthew 5.  "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they will see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."  Good works and being a good person don't get me to heaven.  But because of the relationship I have with Jesus Christ, the natural bi-product will be good works.  People should be drawn to Christians, if they are living the way God would expect them to be.  If someone told me I was just like everyone else, I would be devastated and embarrassed.  Sure, I like to fit in with the crowd, wear 'in style' clothes, look good, etc.  But my lifestyle should represent Christ in every aspect so that anyone could observe me and know without a doubt that I have a growing relationship with God.

Here's some questions to ponder...

1.  Do I have friends in my circle that do not have a relationship with Christ?
2.  Am I any different from those friends?
3.  If someone wrote an expose about me, what would they say?
4.  Would I be exposed as a Christian or a fraud?
5.  Do I have a growing relationship with the Lord?  (Bible reading, times of confession, prayer)
6.  Am I conscious of my sin or the sins I struggle with?
7.  What am I doing to actively reach friends who do not know the Lord?
8.  Do I even care?

If you are one of my friends who do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please talk to me.  Email me.  Consider choosing Christ.  Living the Christian life is not about a bunch of rules and regulations.  On the contrary.  I have such joy and freedom because I know Who I'm anchored to. 

Just think about it.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Monday Memory Verse - Matthew 18:15 - Confrontation God's Way

Matthew 18:15  "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.  If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."

{This story is used with permission from my husband Frank, so if you know him, please don't take offense.}

On a recent family vacation, my fourteen year old daughter Amber heard some other teenagers at the hotel pool trash-talking my husband and I.  Specifically, she heard one of them say something about "the fat guy in the hot tub."  Now, there were only two people in the hot tub - Frank and I.  I'm certainly no dude, so the only logical target of the trash talking was Frank.  As a side note, in case you do not know my husband, the mental image that one would concoct of "a fat guy in the hot tub" is not a fair assessment.

Now, we had no idea what was being said, but Amber did, and she felt the need to do something about it.  Upon hearing them bash her dad, the protective assertive daughter that we have reared kicked in.  She swam over to them and very calmly and directly said, "That 'fat guy' in the hot tub -- yeah, well, that's my dad, and he's actually pretty cool." 

Can you imagine the look on the girls faces when Amber confronted them?  First of all, they had no clue that the "fat guy in the hot tub's" daughter was just a few feet away.  They also probably never imagined a teenager would actually defend a parent, let alone praise them.  Needless to say, the trash talking stopped...immediately.  Amber wasn't nasty, she was just firm, honest, and direct.

Now, certainly Amber's confrontation of those girls in the pool is not an example of Biblical confrontation, nor is it an example of what the verse for this week is specifically talking about.  Amber could have easily just ignored the problem and not been disobeying the instructions Jesus gives us in the verse.  Matthew 18:15 is talking specifically about what Christians should do when other Christians have offended them.  However, the concept is similar. 

Confrontation.  For most people, it's not easy.  What is easy is ignoring a problem, sweeping it under the rug, or running from it.   Unfortunately, churches are filled with transfer members.  These are people who got upset at their church and instead of trying to resolve the issues, they just left in search of a "better" one.  Having been in the ministry most of my adult life, unfortunately, I know countless of these Christians.

For me, confrontation comes rather easy.  I've told my friends many times that if I'm upset or offended by something, they will hear it from me first.  When my relationships go awry, whether with family or friends, I can't sleep.  I hash things over in my brain until I'm nearly sick.  I need to resolve matters so life can move on for me.  That's how I'm wired.  However, this strength of confrontation for me also comes with a weakness.  I often have such an urgent need to resolve issues that sometimes I do not always choose the appropriate times to get things settled.  My weak area isn't in the confrontation; it's in the timing of the confronting.

Let's break the verse down in more detail...

If your brother sins against you...
Jesus specifically tells us that confrontation should take place when we personally are involved. 

go and show him his fault...
This is the tough part.  No one is perfect.  We are human.  It's so easy to be offended by another's comments or words or to offend someone with ours.  If confrontation is necessary, remember Philippians 2:3.  It's a great companion verse to memorize when dealing with relationship issues.  "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than themselves."  We must have the right heart attitude and ask God for help when it comes to actually confronting the situation.  Remember, "the tongue has the power of life and death."  (Proverbs 18:21) 

Just between the two of you.
Friends "sharing" with friends is one of the most dangerous things in today's churches.  In plain English, most of the time it's just gossip - and sin.  If you need a sounding board, it's best to talk to someone completely removed from the situation who doesn't even know the parties involved.  But, Jesus specifically says to work it out one-on-one. 

If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
Aside from contrary belief, confrontation is not something to dread.  When confronting in a Biblical way, with the right heart attitude, and speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), it can be a beautiful thing.  I have personally witnessed my damaged relationships be restored by taking care of things the way God would want me to.  Sometimes it has taken years after I've confronted situations before the relationship has been restored.  Still, some others never get back to the point that they were before the conflict, but those are few and far between. 

On the flip side of confronting someone who has offended you, sometimes it's me who is being confronted because of my loose lips.  Ouch!  That's even tougher to handle.  It's never easy to hear something negative about myself.  But sometimes the truth hurts, and I just have to face it.  I have to pray for an open mind.  Acknowledge the truth.  Ask for forgiveness.  Learn from my mistakes.  Choose to love.  And choose to move on.

Obedience is what God expects from us.  The verse is not a suggestion.  It's a conditional command.  Jesus says, If your brother sins against you, go."  If you read through the rest of this passage, it's clear that the instructions Jesus gives are for in the context of the church, Christian to Christian, and it also includes church discipline. 

Today I've personally had to face the truth about a relationship I hold dear.  I've had to admit how I've been wrong and hurt someone I love.  But because I've not shoved it under the rug or ignored the situation, because I've dealt with it the way God would want me to, I believe the relationship is now back on the path of restoration and growth.

So next time you hear "fat guy in the hot tub" (or anything that digs deep) -- deal with it in a Godly way.  That's one expression that will never be forgotten in my family!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

God's GPS - The Road Trip of Life

Jeremiah 29:11  "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Proverbs 3:5-6  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

I love taking road trips in our minivan.  We have driven many a miles with blind faith, relying totally on the GPS, never even consulting a map.  Recently we needed to get from Arlington National Cemetery to our hotel in College Park, Maryland.  We plugged in the hotel address into our GPS, and away we went.  Apparently, whoever programmed the GPS thought the most direct route between those two cities was straight through downtown Washington DC...yes, right down Pennsylvania Avenue.  Stop.  Go.  Red light.  Red light.  Red light.  One after the other.  Through some 'lock your door' areas.  Red light.  Red light.  Red light.  Until finally, we arrived seemingly "on the other side of the world" at our hotel.  If we had only known!  I am sure we would not have chosen to take the scenic view to the hotel.

Faith in the Lord is a lot like that GPS in my van.  Sometimes we decide that we want to go somewhere or be somewhere by a certain time in our life.  We put our faith in God, expecting and trusting He'll get us there.  We pray for guidance and safety along the way, then we hit the button for the "most direct route."  Yet, I'm finding that God rarely takes us on the most direct route to where we think we need to be.  He often takes us through downtown.  He wants us to experience the red lights.  It's here where we rely on Him more.  It's here where we learn His character, because we've chosen His path. 

Just like in my trip from Arlington, Virginia to College Park, Maryland, the scenic route and red lights may not be fun.  The last few weeks I've been on vacation.  But "back home" I've had several friends going through some very difficult things.  One lost her husband in a tragic accident while I was gone.  Another is struggling with an ongoing battle with cancer.  I have several friends dealing with major financial issues.  There were times on my trip that I felt very guilty for having fun and care-free days, knowing others were hurting so deeply.  

Another friend asked me, "Why, Beth?  I don't understand why God lets these things happen!"  All I could tell her is that God is still God in the good times and bad.  We often don't understand why, we just have to trust His plan is best.  Jeremiah 29:11 says He knows the plans He has for us.  Although we may be surprised by the turns of life, God is not. 

So the next time God takes me on the scenic route, I'm going to try to keep my perspective.  I'm going to keep my doors locked, to guard against the evil one, but my windows will be down to look around at the red lights.  If the light turns red without notice and life's brakes get slammed, my seat belt will be securely fastened in the Lord.  Yes, it may be painful.  I may not ever understand why.  But, I do know Who programmed that GPS called life, and I am going to trust Him that His plan is the best for me. 

Road trip!  Lock your doors.  Buckle up.  Enjoy the view, but most importantly, follow the path.

 

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Monday Memory Verse - Psalm 34:8 - Try Him, You'll Like Him!

Psalm 34:8  "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

 

 

When my kids were younger, I used to bribe them to try new foods. We would go to a buffet, and I would say, "I'll give you a dollar if you taste this."  Usually, they would take me up on it just to get the money, but sometimes the 'looks' of the food or the 'smell' would keep them from trying.  My son would never have learned that he loves sweet potato casserole if I hadn't done that.  I might also add that both of my children know without a shadow of doubt that they will never eat another brussel sprout again because of my tactics.

Do you know the feeling when you put a piece of chocolate in your mouth and all the endorphins are released as it melts and trickles down your throat, causing your mouth to salivate even more?  (OK, perhaps only women can relate to that experience...)  But think about it.  Do you ever feel that way about God?  Can you TASTE Him?  Do you soak up His goodness and savor Him as much as you savor your favorite food?  Do you have that "mmmmmm" feeling when you spend time with Him?

I have several friends I've been praying for that don't have a relationship with Jesus. I try to talk with them about the Lord and explain to them how incredible a relationship with God can be.  Yet, for whatever reason, some do everything in their power to deny the existence of God Himself, and some simply have no desire to understand what being a Christian is all about. They are happy with life, and that's all that matters. As I think about this verse, I just keep coming back to the fact that if they would just TASTE God, they would understand why He's so good.

Why?  Why won't they give God a chance?  Why won't they TASTE Him?  Like my kids at the buffet, is it because of how we (Christ-followers) look?  Is it because those of us who call ourselves Christians don't resemble Christ in how we act, day in and day out?  They see Christians as either hypocritical bigots or crazy people who are so caught up in heavenly things that they are of no earthly good.  Is it because of how the world portrays Christians in television and movies?

Or do people not choose to follow Christ because of how we 'smell' to them?  Do we swallow our pride and admit when we're wrong and ask for forgiveness?  What kind of odor do we give off to those around us?  How many times have you heard someone say, 'and they're supposed to be a Christian!"  

 

When I worked at the American Automobile Association (AAA) years ago, before I ever started, the manager gathered up all the employees ahead of time to warn them I was a Christian and my husband was a pastor in the area.  By the time I arrived, as you can imagine, I had some serious walls to tear down.  I remember talking to one of my friends at lunch one afternoon who was talking negatively about someone else and said, "she's one of those born-again Christians."  I just looked at her with amazement and said, "Well, I'm a born again Christian!"  Her response, 'Well, you're a different kind of born-again Christian."  It's sad.  There shouldn't be two different kinds of Christians.  Our life should match our talk, and our talk should match our walk - always.  Do I leave a sour taste in the lives of those I meet?  Do I give Christ a bitter name instead of a sweet one filled with honey?

O Taste and see that the Lord is good!  The only way someone can taste the Lord is by personally experiencing Him.  I can't just "take your word for it."  It's a personal interaction with God.  How I wish I could just persuade some friends, like in that old Life cereal commercial, "Just try Him, you'll like Him!"

 

Then the second part of the verse says, 'blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."  Unfortunately, our part of Texas has a lot of tornadoes each year.  When we hear the sirens going off, the whole family knows right where to go.  We go to the strongest part of the house where we know we'll be safe.  That's the same way with God.  Whether the storm is approaching or passing, He is there to be our safe place. 

 

I'm challenged even more so today to live a life of purpose so that people will notice something different about me.  I want to live my life so that people want to 'taste' what I'm feasting on.  Taste Him.  Enjoy Him.  Trust Him daily.  Experience how good He is.  Lean on Him - the Strong Tower.  Don't take my word for it...try Him for yourself, you'll like Him!  That's the kind of thing that makes me go  mmmmmmmmmm!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Monday Memory Verse - Psalm 4:7 - Going to the Heights with Greater Joy

Psalm 4:7  "You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound."

In Psalm 4:7, David contrasts joy and happiness.  He says God fills his heart with greater joy.  He compares this "greater joy" to the happiness that is felt when the crops are doing well and the vineyard is overflowing with fresh grapes for new wine.

This phrase "greater joy" really caught my attention as I was reading this week.  So as I think about the two, happiness and joy, I decided to list out the differences between the two.  I took a piece of paper and wrote "Joy" on one side and "Happiness" on the other.  Take some time to do your own chart.  God really showed me some things about having a greater joy!

Here's some things from my chart:
Joy is inward and not based on circumstances.  Happiness is completely based on circumstances.  Happiness is temporary and related to the 'here and now' of what is going on in my life.  Joy is something I choose, regardless of if life is serving up lemons.  Joy is steady; happiness is unpredictable.  Joy defeats discouragement.  Happiness covers it up.  Joy is an attitude of the heart; happiness is just an emotion that comes and goes.

What makes me happy? 
Spending time with my family
Crying at a good movie
Watching the Dallas Cowboys or Dallas Mavericks
Seeing my kids succeed
Hearing my children giggle and lovingly interact with each other
Laughing 'til I cry
A juicy medium-rare steak (yes I actually put that in print...I have to be honest, right?)
Chocolate
Spending time with friends
Leaving crazy voicemail messages for people
Making people laugh
Encouraging people

Yes, I could probably write pages of things that make me happy, depending on the circumstances and how far into my memory I wanted to go.  But what about joy?  As I try to make a list of 'what brings me joy', the list is a lot shorter.  As I understand joy, my entire list surrounds God, my relationship with Him, my dependency on Him, and my consistency in interacting with Him.

The Bible mentions the word "joy" 242 times.  There's no doubt that God wants us to have inner joy.  In Habakkuk 3:17-18, Habakkuk describes a farmer whose life outwardly may seem like it's falling apart.  The crops have died.  There are no grapes on the vine.  No food to eat.  No sheep or cattle.  Yet he says, "I will rejoice in the Lord.  I will be joyful in God my Savior."  True joy is the attitude we choose to adopt on the inside.  I won't let circumstances defeat me.  I know who my God is, and in Him I trust, regardless of what is happening around me.

There are so many more verses on joy, but today, as I've tried to understand this "greater joy" that David talks about in Psalm 4:7, I'm reminded that true joy is all based on my relationship with God.  As I seek Him, as I spend time with Him, He gives me greater joy.  He enables me to go to the heights (another great phrase about joy, found in Habakkuk 3:19.)

It's been a really rough few months at work for me, and God has shown me that somewhere along the line, I've let the circumstantial craziness of "work" overshadow my inward joy.  I want to renew that greater joy that David talks about in Psalm 4:7. 

What about you?  Are you going to settle for short-term happiness, or are you going to choose the greater joy?  Let's go to the heights together!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com