"I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food."
---Bruce, Finding Nemo
Bruce, from Finding Nemo submits that "Fish are friends." But, in the last few days, I've been toying with this idea that friends are like fish. Now, let me preface this by saying I hope no one reading this thinks I'm writing about THEM. I'm using general terms, so don't even let yourself go there! Here's the comparisons I've thought of so far. If you think of more, please add them to this blog! Here we go...
A Blowfish. Maybe you know someone like this. This is kind of person that blows up at the slightest problem or disturbance. You can't talk to them about anything negative because they just get angry. The Bible talks about this kind of friend in Proverbs 22:24-25. "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared." I must admit, I used to be a blowfish. I had a temper like you wouldn't believe, and I couldn't stand to hear something negative about myself. I'm so thankful that God put people in my life that helped me overcome that. I learned that my friends who told me what I was doing wrong were doing it because they loved me. Thank God I'm no longer a Blowfish. Do you have a Blowfish friend? Are you a Blowfish friend?
A Large Mouth Bass. I probably don't even need to describe this one. This fish may be a great catch for a friend, but they have a problem with their mouth. They are the kind of friend that tells everything they know. OK, you might be thinking, that's definitely not me. But what about the Small Mouth Bass? Whether it's a lot of gossip or a little gossip, it's still gossip. Guarding our tongue and what we say is one of the hardest things in the world to do. Countless times I've heard a friend say, "I'm just telling you to so you can pray for them." When I hear those words, your radar should go off alerting you that "gossip is to come." The Bible warns us about both Small and Large Mouth Bass in Proverbs 16:28 "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends." Do you know a Large or Small Mouth Bass friend? Are you one?
Clownfish. Everyone needs a clownfish for a friend...someone who will laugh and cut up. When I shared this "friends are like fish" concept with my kids, Amber and Jacob both told me I'm a clownfish friend. That made me feel good. I love to joke around and use the quick wit that my dad passed on to me. Proverbs 17:22 says, "A merry heart does good like a medicine." Laughter is good for the soul, and it's important to have someone in your life to laugh with. Do you know a clownfish? Are you a clownfish?
Parasitic Fish. Now, I'm no marine biologist, but I think the technical name for this is called a Remora. OK, so maybe that's a stretch...remora actually feed off a shark's bacteria, but they basically follow the shark around and gain their life through what the shark offers. This is the kind of friend that latches on to you and sucks the life out of you. This is the friend that always needs help, encouragement, prayer. They give nothing back to the relationship and only take, seemingly sucking the life out of you. I truly believe God places friends in your life for you to help and minister to. Friendship is about giving of yourself; it's not about taking and getting all you can. Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born to help in time of need." It's important to always show love to a parasitic friend, but it's also important to be aware of the situation and set boundaries. Proverbs 13:26 says, "A righteous man is cautious in friendship." Are you a parasitic friend? Do you know one?
There's a lot more I thought of, but I think you get the point. You can probably be creative and turn any kind of fish into a friend. (A Carp...a Minnow...a Starfish. Use your imagination!)
But the last fish I wanted to dwell on is a Swordfish. Now, one could easily argue that a Swordfish is the kind of friend that stabs you in the back, but I want to think of the Swordfish with spiritual perspective. The Bible is often referred to as the "Sword." Yes, a Swordfish is what I want to be. This is the friend who offers Godly advice. Proverbs 27:9 says, "The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense." This is the friend who points others to the truth. There's an old Debby Boone song called "If You are My Friend." It talks about not letting your friends fall away. It calls for a friend to take a stand for what is right, even if it's a difficult situation. One of my all time favorite verses in the Bible is Proverbs 27:17, "Iron sharpens iron." Friends shape and sharpen each other. Like the sword of a Swordfish, I want to be the kind of friend that sharpens the people I hang out with. I hope everyone has a Swordfish in their life, but most importantly, are you a Swordfish?
Fish travel in schools, and friends often do, too. Unfortunately, this is sometimes a bad thing. It's easy to fall into the groove of hanging out with your old friends and not letting new potential friends into the group. As I watch my teenager deal with relationships, I am reminded that as an adult, I need to be careful of the same thing I tell my daughter. Stay away from 'clicks.' I need to be aware that new fish are swimming around trying to join the school I'm hanging out with...I need to make room for them in this ocean of life. One can never have too many friends, and there are people out there who desperately need a friend and are crying out to God for one. Some of the best friends I've had are the unexpected ones...ones I would never have chosen for myself. As Winnie the Pooh said once, "You can't stay in your corner of the forest, waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
As I think about it, it's kind of funny that along with the cross, the Christian "symbol" is a fish. I can't bring myself to even fathom any fish to describe God; that would certainly be sacrilegious. But I can't talk about this without mentioning Proverbs 18:24, "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Friends come into my life, but they fail me. They swim away to another part of the ocean, never to be seen again. They may fall to the back of the school and not be as close as they used to be. But God is the ultimate friend, and He will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). No, Jesus isn't a fish, but He is the only pure example of a friend. If you do not have a personal relationship with Him, please message me. I would love to share with you how you can experience a true friend in Him. Is He your friend? Are you a Christ-like friend to others?
Yes, friends are like fish. You can never catch too many, and I love to go fishing. How about you?
---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com