Monday sure seems to come quicker than any other day. In some respect, I wish it didn't. In others, it means I made it through another week, and that's always a good thing!
Last week, the Lord really impressed upon my heart that I need to be actively learning His Word. I have been relying on the verses that I memorized growing up, but I need to "store up His commands within me." When you 'store something up' you eventually run out, right? When there's a threat of a bad storm here in Texas, it seems the grocery stores are raided with people "storing up" milk and bread. But, eventually, what you've stored up runs out. When that happens, you're left empty. I was challenged with the fact that 'to store something up' is an active task, and I need to 'keep storing' so that I don't become spiritually empty.
Last week, I memorized: Proverbs 1:33. Whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.
This week's verse: Ecclesiastes 7:9 Don't be hasty in your spirit to be angry. for anger rests in the lap of fools.
I picked this verse because God has been showing me that I have a private anger problem. No, I'm not a violent person who has the potential for mass murder. In public, with my friends, and on my job, I somehow have the ability to stay calm and patient in distressng times without 'blowing up' at someone. But at home, I want things now. I want my kids to listen to me...now. I want my husband to do something for me..now. Sometimes the stress of work is carried over in my home, and I snap at the kids. I over-react at the slightest thing. I just lose it, to be honest. This is something I'm asking God to correct in my life, and the first step is confronting the truth. I have to be honest with myself, my friends, and most importantly, my God.
Look what the verse says: anger rests in the lap of fools. Ouch! To be called a 'fool' is a slap in the face! I work hard to be 'an example of the believer' and that's the Beth that most people see. But the Beth that appears at home sometimes is a much different person. I don't want my husband and children to have any memory of their wife/mom as a 'fool' because of my temper. We are all born with a sin nature and have a 'leniency' toward different sins, and this is one God has dealt with me about on and off my whole married life.
God is a jealous God. He wants all of me, even the parts of me that my friends don't see. Especially the parts of me that my friends don't see and only my family does. Will you pray Ecclesiastes 7:9 for me this week? That I will not be hasty to be angry and that I will not be a fool in God's eyes?
I still have the offer out there...is anyone interested in being in an accountability group, to meet with me on a weekly basis, and learn God's word together. I will find the time. Let me know! You know where to find me...
---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com