I think it's safe to say that we are who we are today, in part, because of our past. Now, I'm not saying we are slaves to our past, but what happened to us throughout our lives has shaped us into the person we are today. The decisions we make today are either because we've not broken free from our past or we make decisions to be the kind of person we are today because we don't want to be like we were in the past.
I was challenged this morning in my quiet time to dialog with God. Not just pray, but listen to what He has to say about my past, especially in the area of forgiveness. Now, I am a confrontational person; I like to think it's a strength of mine. I can't stand for conflict to take root in my life and not be resolved. But this morning I asked God to show me if I needed to forgive anyone in my life, and if I needed to ask forgiveness of anyone. I asked God to dig deep into what I've buried, deeper than I wanted to go. Deeper than I've allowed my thoughts to visit in a long time.
God showed me a situation that happened long ago, and He convicted me that I have let it shape who I am today. At this point, I can't go confront the person, he is no longer alive. But, I can choose to forgive. I can choose to no longer be gripped by the pain of the past. I can choose to allow Christ to heal the scars in my life, and like a Potter, mold me into the creation He wants me to be. (Isaiah 64:8) I made the choice.
It doesn't matter how badly a person has hurt you. When Jesus died on the cross, what were some of His last words? "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." When people hurt us, sometimes they have no idea how deep the wounds go. Yet, Christ, in all His glory, came to earth and suffered a terrible death for you and me so we could have forgiveness. Those wounds went pretty deep, wouldn't you say? He still has the scars in his hands to prove it. With that perspective, I'm convicted that there's nothing so bad in my past that I can't forgive the offender. Jesus died for that person, too.
The Bible says to 'put off' bitterness. It says in Matthew 6:12 that we should ask God to forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Remember the parable in the Bible of the master who forgave the debts of his servant? What did that servant do? Instead of going to the people who owed him money and forgiving their debts, he went and tried to collect. When we harbor bitterness, it's just like holding on to the debts that people owe us.
God is telling me today that I have to make the choice to forgive, once and for all. I can't do it without His help. It's painful...to let go of those angry feelings, especially when I've held on to them for so long. I'm still going to have the scars from the past, but it's only when I let go of the bitterness that God can move in and heal. This morning, I've made the decision. It's a done deal, and I'm not looking back.
I am free to forgive!
I love this song by the Newsboys...I Am Free!
Through You the blind will see
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise
Through You all hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams, I am free!
I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for you
(I am free to live for you)
I am free
(I am free)
Chorus:
I am free
I am free
I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for you
(I am free to live for you
I am free
(I am free)
Yes I am free
---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com