GodandMe2theMax

I Have Only Done My Duty...

Do you ever feel like you need a little extra credit for a job well done? Maybe a little more affirmation than what you are receiving? Do you want to somehow find a way to humbly brag about something really cool you've done? I've been there, and if being completely honest, most people would say they've been there, too.

I have been reading in Luke 17:7-10. "Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, 'Come along now and sit down to eat'? Would he not rather say, 'Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink'? Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.'"

We have only done our duty.

As I read those words, I stopped still in my reading. How many times have you thanked someone for something and they said, "No problem; I was only doing my job." I've heard that response many times. In other words, no extra credit was necessary, it was all in the 'line of duty.'

So I started to think, what exactly does this mean when it comes to spiritual matters? What is MY DUTY, in relation to God? And when I do what God has called me to do, am I being a self-promoter or a God-promoter? Ouch! Certainly, as a blogger and song-writer, there's nothing wrong with sharing the talents God has given me with others. But the difference is in the attitude of the heart. Who is taking credit for the end result? Am I out there saying, "Hey everyone, look at this cool song I wrote?" Or am I out there saying, "Let me share with you what God has allowed me to do!"? Or "Let me share with you what God is teaching me."

This is a tough one for me. I wouldn't say I'm a proud person, but I'm definitely not a naturally humble person either. The truth is, I'm a talker. A communicator. And I'm the kind of person that likes to share everything going on in my life with my friends and family. However, I've been told by a close family member that "all my talking" comes across as bragging sometimes. That's a tough one to swallow.

So back to the phrase, "I have only done my duty." What is it that God has called me to do? He's called me to obedience. He's called me to write. He's called me to tell others about Him. But when the praise and accolades come from the various "work" that I do for Him, is my heart's response, "I have only done my duty."? Definitely, this is a convicting phrase for me.

I think it's no accident that this passage in Luke uses the words of a servant in the master's home. Isn't that what we each are supposed to be, a servant? We must be serving each other, not self-serving. The words to that old Maranatha song ring loudly this morning...

Make me a servant. Humble and meek.
Lord, let me lift up those who are weak.
And may the prayer of my heart always be
Make me a servant. Make me a servant. Make me a servant today.

Father, keep me humble. Let me give all the glory in any accomplishment to You. Without You, I am nothing. Without You, I have nothing. And without You, life is not worth living. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart always be acceptable to You. Let my response always be, "I have only done my duty."

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

True Worshippers...

John 4:23  "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks."

The Bible talks alot about the faith of a child.  For the blog this week, I want to use the words of my twelve year old son, Jacob.  Many of you know that he has Asperger's Syndrome, which is high functioning autism.  It manifests itself mostly in social skills, but Jacob also really struggles with his emotions.  He wants so desperately to fit in, yet he understands that he has some special needs that keep him from doing so at times.  He has highs and lows, but one thing I can say about him is that he loves Jesus with all his heart.

A few weeks ago, Jacob came to me on a Saturday and handed me thirteen little pieces of paper.  He said, "Here mom.  Last night in my bed, I just felt like God was speaking to me, and I felt like I should write this down."  I looked down at what he handed me, and it was written on the back of thirteen pieces of paper "money", about two inches by three inches.  Jacob doesn't have the best printing, but as I sat reading, I was astounded at the depth of his relationship with God.  This is what he wrote, word for word, without one edit by me.  Here is Jacob's psalm to the Lord.

*************

God, please take this pain from my heart.  It’s burning up and over, over-flowing.  I lay in my bed shedding these living tears.  The devil’s trying to conquer my thoughts.  But then I remember You, God, and I find the courage to fight back those evil thoughts.  Your name is a miracle for all those who call upon it.  And You alone have the power to turn my sadness into a joyful wake up call.  So I thank You.  Yes, I thank You, God.

Now I want to take back those actions.  Thank you for these joyful tears.  I feel renewed in Thee, Spirit.  My heart was filled with sorrow, but now You’ve filled it with joyful thanksgiving.  Hallelujah, You have strengthened my heart, with Your unending love!  Thank you, God.  You’ve made me happy once again.  Thank you, God.  Thank you, God.

When the evil one comes beckoning, I won’t let him in.  I’ll find the courage to resist him.  With Your name I can do anything.  The devil has no hold over me with this new found courage.   Nothing can stop me from living my life for You.  You healed my broken heart.  What else can I say but thank you!

You never give up on this sad lowly life.  No matter what happens, I know that You’ll be there for me.  You’ve given me something to put my trust in.  You’ve revived me.  You’ve saved me.  You protect me.  What else could I possibly need?  Oh, thank You!

When the world comes trying to kill all my hopes, I know You will be there for me, fighting back those evil lies and giving hope for the future.  You saved me from the lies and fixed my broken heart.  When I was trapped in the devil’s web of despair, You freed my heart and revived my hopes and dreams.  Oh, how could I possibly end this song of thanksgiving?  You never stop giving me a reason to be thankful.  Mere words can’t describe the power of Your name.

Thank You!

*************

I sat there, reading in amazement..  Oh the faith of a child!  Oh how much I have to learn from my sweet son!  Take a look at the verse to memorize for this week.  John 4:23  "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks."

As I read Jacob's words as he poured out his heart to God, I couldn't help but think that this was true worship.  This is the kind of worship that God expects.  And I also wondered if I had ever worshipped God with my words the way Jacob had expressed.  Sure, I was proud of him, but more so, I was humbled that this son of mine, special needs and all, could "get it" when it comes to worship.  So many times, we equate worship with singing.  After all, "worship" is the music section of church, right?  Wrong.  Worship is so much more than that, and God our Father is looking for true worshippers.  He's looking for people who worship Him in spirit and truth.  My goal:  to have the faith of a child.  Like Jacob.  To be a true worshipper.  To have my Father recognize me as one who worships Him in spirit and truth.

As we memorize the verse this week, I challenge you to write down your worship psalm to the Lord.  Pour out your heart to Him.  Be a worshipper, a true one.  Let the worshippers arise!

 

---Beth (and Jacob) Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

 

 

Driving Thoughts...A Christian's Job Description

Titus 1:16  "They claim to know God but by their actions they deny Him.  They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good."

Do you ever have driving thoughts?  You know the kind.  When you're driving down the road with no music on, just silence and your brain, driving down the road.  For me, "silence" may not be the best descriptive word, if you know what I mean.  When I have driving thoughts, I carry on a complete and loud conversation with myself, sometimes even audibly.  When I have these driving thoughts, I can't get them out of my head, no matter how hard I try.  They drive my being to the point that my mind races, repetitively, all while driving down the road.  Yes, "driving thoughts"...have you had them?

Well, last week I took a trip into Dallas in rush hour, and I had some of those driving thoughts myself.  You see, at work, part of the focus of my job lately has been in the area of job descriptions.  I started to think...what is the job description of a Christian?  Seriously, if we had to put it on paper, and my supervisor evaluated me to see if I was doing my job, would I be fired?  Would my boss, God Almighty, give me a favorable performance appraisal?  Even more so, if I was put in a line up, and someone had to pick "the Christian" out of the line up, would they pick me over someone else?

What are some of the things that could be on that job description?  A few things come to my mind.  Feel free to add to this list!  Definitely, it's not exhaustive! 

• Loves the Lord wholeheartedy (Mark 12:30)
• Lives life humbly, with patience and love (Ephesians 4:2)
• Works to be a peacemaker (Ephesians 4:3) (Philippians 2:2)
• Considers the needs of others over himself (Philippians 2:3)
• Serves others (Galatians 5:13)
• Goes into all the world to tell others about Christ (Mark 16:15)
• Looks different compared to his old life before following Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17)
• Disciples or mentors others (Matthew 28:20)
• Creates an environment of peace (Matthew 5:9)
• Lives their life in a way that others will know they are a Christian (2 Corinthians 6:3)
• Controls his tongue (James 3:8)
• Sacrifices for the sake of others (Hebrews 13:16)
• Does not hold grudges (James 5:9)
• Trusts in God, even when things don't make sense (Proverbs 3:5-6)
• Gives generously (Proverbs 11:25)
• Ability to trust God (Psalm 46:10, Psalm 62:8)
• Knows what is right and does it (James 4:17)
• Loves God and obeys His commands (John 14:21)
• Reflects God's glory and is being transformed to be more like Him daily (2Corinthians 3:18)
• Characterized by compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience (Colossians 3:12)
• Resists when faced with temptation (James 1:12)
• Submits to God, resists the devil (James 4:7)
• Admits when he's wrong; prays for others (James 5:16)
• Exemplifies love, joy, peace, slow to anger, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and has self control (Galatians 5:22-23)

If I had time to write, there would be an endless list of character qualities in this Christian job description, but it's important to realize that none of these qualities are possible on our own.  It's by giving God control in each area of our life that we are able to live out these character qualities. 

But remember my original driving thought.  Would people be able to pick me out as the Christian in the line up? 

Take a look at the verse to memorize for this week.  If you have time, read through Titus chapter one.  In it, Paul addresses people who claim to be Christians but their lives don't match that claim. 

Titus 1:16  "They claim to know God but by their actions they deny Him.  They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good."

I knew God wanted me to blog about my driving thoughts this week.  I had several verses in mind to memorize, too.  However, my pastor opened his sermon with this verse in Titus on Sunday.  It's truly the antithesis of what I want to be true in my life.  I so desperately want my life and actions to match what God wants.  I want my life to be a sweet smelling savor, not something detestable to God.

What about you?  Do you have driving thoughts?  Does your life match the job description of a Christian?  Or could the verse to memorize for the week be true of you?

...Driving Thoughts
©  by Beth Banfill

Driving down the road
Haunted by the thought
Am I an undercover Christian
Would people think I'm not?

If I had a job description
Taken straight from God's Word
How much would I be living?
Or would the lines be really blurred?

If You put me in a line-up
Could You ID me?  Would You be pleased with me?
Could You quickly pick me out?
...These are my driving thoughts.

Sure, we all want to fit in
But should we look the same?
Our thoughts, our words, our deeds
Do they bring glory or cause Him shame?

Help me, God, give me strength
Let me live in such a way
So that others who look at me
See the difference that You make.

If you put me in a line-up
Could You ID me?  Would You be pleased with me?
Could You quickly pick me out?
...These are my driving thoughts.

The words of my mouth
My thoughts so deep within
Are they acceptable to You?
Do they give off a sweet perfume?

If you put me in a line-up
Could You ID me?  Would You be pleased with me?
Could You quickly pick me out?
...These are my driving thoughts. 

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

Autism and Prayer. Gettin' real with God.

Psalm 62:8  "Trust in Him at all times, you people.  Pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.  Selah."

This last Saturday was Autism Awareness Day.  My son Jacob has something called Asperger's Syndrome, which is high functioning autism.  Asperger's Syndrome manifests itself mostly in the area of social skills.  Kids and adults with Asperger's Syndrome (in general) are highly intelligent, but they do not understand verbal queues.  Their social skills are weak and sometimes non existent.  They say what they want, when they want to, and they don't necessarily understand the principle of "there's a time and a place for everything."

Well, last week, my son went to his annual eye doctor appointment.  He was in rare form during the visit.  As parents, we repeatedly try to teach him what is appropriate and not appropriate during social interactions.  Please understand that we don't use "Asperger's Syndrome" as an excuse for rudeness.  However, sometimes the things that come out of his mouth are just downright funny.  The interaction with the doctor (among plenty of other comments) went something like this:  "How much did you spend on all this equipment?"  "You know, you spent so much money on all this stuff, but what you really needed to do was buy a new chair.  These arms keep falling down."  "Dude!  You gotta warn a guy before you do something like that!"  As I said, Jacob just says whatever comes to his brain, whether it's appropriate or even makes sense.  Other comments during the doctor visit were "Can you give me my glasses back?  I can't see anything at all."  "Something weird happens with my eyes when I take my glasses off.  My eyes get all blurry." 

Yes, that's my boy.  As you can imagine, life with Jacob in our house rarely offers a dull moment.  He doesn't try to be funny, but the things that he blurts out from time to time crack us up.  He will not hesitate to tell you what's on his mind, whether it has any context of what we're talking about or not.  If your breath stinks, he tells you.  If he thinks you're talking too much visiting with people after church, he downright tells you to "cut the chit-chat."  Teaching him that public gas is inappropriate is even a harder task.  All these social skills or lack thereof, we attribute to his Asperger's Syndrome (and then some!)  Certainly, it couldn't be our parenting skills, right?

Well, since it was just Autism Awareness Day, I started to think about how many people don't really understand Jacob or Asperger's Syndrome.  Most people don't know what it is and how it affects people.  I also started thinking about how brutally honest Jacob is about things, and how God wants us to be that brutally honest with Him.  Look at the verse to memorize for this week.

Psalm 62:8  "Trust in Him at all times, you people.  Pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.  Selah."

Notice that we are given a few commands here.  Trust God.  When?  At all times.  That means we trust Him in the good times, and we trust Him in the bad times.  The next command is to pour out our hearts to Him.  Why?  He is our refuge.  He is our safe place.  He is the only safe place for our emotions and heart, really.  Then the word "selah" means stop, pause, and think about what was just said.

As honest as Jacob is about any given situation is as honest as God wants us to be with Him.  We need to tell Him how we feel, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  We need to pour out our heart to Him the way Jacob pours out whatever comes to his mind.  Sometimes as Christians, we get this idea that we need to talk "churchy" to God.  "Oh dear God, I know you're in control, and I trust You."  Sure, this is a good prayer.  But if I were really pouring out my heart to God, perhaps a more honest prayer would be, "God, I know You're in control and You have a plan, but this waiting game is tough.  Sometimes I feel like I'm not going to make it.  I hate waiting, and I'm not good at it.  I don't understand why you're allowing me to go through this trial.  It hurts.  I trust You know what You're doing, but...  Help me, God..." 

Yes, I think that's what God expects when He tells us to pour out our heart to Him.  I don't know about you, but I'm guilty of talking to God in "church talk" too often.  Having Asperger's Syndrome is a benefit when it comes to communication with God.  Jacob doesn't know that socially he shouldn't say some things.  With God, there is no social etiquette.  I think we can all take a lesson from Jacob when it comes to being brutally honest with God.  Let's drop our masks and get real with God.

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Encouraging during the lemons of life...

Proverbs 12:25  "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."

Sometimes God allows things to happen and take place in our life that the world would simply call a "lemon" of a deal.  When these things happen, when the lemons are dealt, we are often left feeling disheartened.  No, not necessarily depressed or even worried, just simply heavy hearted.  

Think about Naomi.  If you're not familiar with the story, take some time to go read the book of Ruth.  From the world's perspective, Naomi was dealt some real lemons.  Her husband had died.  She had two sons, and they both passed away.  Naomi was no longer even living in her homeland or near her relatives for support.  All she had left was her two daughter-in-laws: Orpah and Ruth.  These tragedies left Naomi disheartened to the point that she told Ruth to call her Mara, because "the Almighty has made my life very bitter."  Her anxious heart was heavy.  Can you blame Naomi, really? 

Maybe you're in a similar situation.  You feel like the Lord has thrown some lemons at you lately.  Your heart is heavy.  You're lonely.  You're disheartened.  You need someone to encourage you.

Back to the story, let's look at the impact Ruth's words likely had on Naomi, in relation to the verse to memorize for this week.  Ruth 1:16-17    "But Ruth replied, 'Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.  Where you will go I will go, and where you will stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried'..." 

Can you imagine how Naomi's spirits were lifted from the loving words Ruth offered?  Naomi was perhaps at an all time low.  She wasn't out there asking for handouts, in fact, she even gave her two daughters-in-law an 'out' to leave her.  Although those lemons were still tough to swallow, I do believe Naomi was better able to swallow them because of the loving support of Ruth.

Let's look at the verse for the week.  "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."  Do you know someone like Naomi?  Someone who is heavy hearted, with a lemon-filled life?  Do you know someone falling away from church, maybe because of life's circumstances? 

The question begs, "What are you going to do about it?"  When is the last time you hand-wrote a note to encourage another person?  Technology like email and facebook are amazing tools, but when is the last time you actually picked up the phone to call someone to lift their spirits over the phone?  I know I've been the recipient of many kind words cheering me up lately.  I also know that the Lord has been teaching me lately to be a more consistent encourager.  It's so easy to get busy and just neglect to send a note...neglect to call.  The truth is that I've found when I take the time to encourage someone else, I'm encouraged.  It's funny how that works like that!

So who do you know that needs encouraged this week, and what are you going to do about it?  Will you be like Ruth and encourage a heavy-heartened friend?  Perhaps this comes a bit more naturally for women than men, but that's no excuse.  Men and women alike, will you join me in making a goal to look outside your circle and encourage a new person each week?  Let's each consider it our responsibility to not only memorize this verse but also to carry it out this week.   Let's all cheer up someone with a kind word and help their lemons turn to lemonade.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

 

 

Is there a pickle on your plate?

Proverbs 14:29  "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly."

As part of my job when I worked in Ohio, I used to teach customer service skills.  There's something we taught called a "hook."   A "hook" is something that invites you into unproductive behavior.  Simply put, it's the breaking point that makes you lose your temper.  I have a few hooks that I know of.  Do you know yours?  Knowing and identifying your own hooks is sometimes half the anger battle.  Once you know what makes you angry, it's a lot easier to give it over to the Lord. 

Many of you know about my son Jacob and some of his struggles and special needs.  Jacob has Asperger's Syndrome and severe ADHD, but about five years ago, we found out that he had a lot of bio-chemical issues as well.  Some of these bio-chemical problems manifested themself as bi-polar symptoms, and for years, Jacob experienced uncontrollable rage.  Jacob will turn twelve in a few days, and he has a sensitive heart for the Lord now.  He has given me permission to share his story with the Groupies4God and on my blog, specifically a story about one of Jacob's hooks.

Let me give you a little history.  By the time Jacob was about three or four, we knew we had a strong-willed child on our hands.  Both my husband and I worked full time, so we had to rely on pre-schools and day cares for our child care.  For a while, we had a great friend in our church care for our kids, but we ended up needing to move to the daycare route.  It didn't take long for us to be on speed dial with the daycare; in actuality, they had us on speed dial.  I can remember day after day seeing the phone ring with the caller ID identifying the caller as the daycare.  My heart would drop each time.  Not again!  What did he do now?  The truth is that by the time Jacob turned five, he was kicked out of every day care in our city and a few in the surrounding cities.  One of those was after a few short hours!

You see, Jacob had a real problem with anger.  It was as if something wouldn't settle with him, a swtich would be flipped, and a boy I didn't know would emerge. There was no rhyme or reason to his rage, and as a result, he was given a bi-polar diagnosis, at a much too early age.

A daily phone call was expected from the day care, and at least three times a week, things would get so bad that we would have to pick him up.  My husband and I took turns leaving work early to deal with the problems, and this time it was his turn.  "Come pick Jacob up, please, asap."  No explanation given; none requested.  We knew the drill.  I could tell the infraction was pretty severe, based on the curtness of the call I received.  When my husband Frank arrived to pick Jacob up, he got the whole story. 

The daycare was one of those that served also as a pre-school.  They served lunch to a the kids on one of those expandable lunch tables with the seats attached.  All of the children were seated at the table, food on the trays, and getting ready to eat.  The teacher then put Jacob's tray in front of him.  It consisted of a burger, a side item, and one infamous pickle.  You see, when Jacob was served his tray, that switch in his brain flipped.  He promptly got up on top of the table, ran up and down the table-top, kicking every child's food on the floor and all over the rest of the kids.  By the time the teacher caught him, it was too late.  The damage was done, with lunch for the entire class ruined. 

My husband got Jacob in the car, and started to talk to him.  I'm so thankful for a mild-mannered husband who almost never loses his temper.  The Lord knew I needed him, and the Lord knew Jacob needed a daddy who didn't lose his temper; one who always showed unconditional love.  If I had been the one to pick Jacob up that day, well, I don't know how I would have reacted, but I know it would not have been in a Godly way!  "Son, what were you thinking?"  Frank asked.  Jacob's response, "They put a pickle on my plate, and you know I don't like pickles!" 

A pickle.  That's all it took.  It was the pickle that has everlasting meaning in our home.  These days, we often joke around with Jacob and ask him if he wants a pickle with his food.  He isn't the best with kidding around, but he knows we ask that question in jest.  His answer always remains the same: a firm "No!"

When Jacob was in first grade, he was kicked out of public elementary school and put in what is called the BAU - Behavior Adjustment Unit.  That's where they put the 12 worst kids in the district.  You see, they tried to work with us, they really did.  In first grade, Jacob went through about six teachers, including two "Teachers of the Year", one of which was the Special Ed "Teacher of the Year" for the district.  But the day Jacob sent one of them  to the hospital was probably the breaking point. 

Shortly after Jacob was put in the BAU, we found a non profit clinic outside of Chicago, IL, called the Pfeiffer Treatment Center.  Jacob had been to neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, pediatricians, and any other kind of doctor that we thought would help.  But the Pfeiffer Treatment Center did bio-chemical testing that none of these other doctors had ever attempted.  They found that Jacob was actually not bi-polar, although he had many of the symptoms.  No, in actuality, he had an overgrowth of yeast in his system that was literally taking over his whole body.  Within a few days of being on the medicine, Jacob's rage was nearly gone.  The BAU teacher (who was initially skeptical of the findings) called us up and asked what changes we had made.  She could not believe her eyes.  The boy who just days before had caused an evacuation of the entire BAU was now the star student.  We believe God directed us to PTC to save Jacob's life.  No, not save it spiritually, but physically.  Today, Jacob is in the 6th grade, and in the Gifted and Talented program and doing awesome!

Hooks.  Jacob's hook at the daycare that day was a pickle.  I think I've mentioned previously that I used to have a terrible temper.  It's amazing how when you commit something to the Lord, He can miraculously take away the sin.  But just like the verse from  last week, it's important to continue to identify and do a self examination of sin in your life.  You see, I've found that when I let my guard down, my hooks return, and with a vengeance.  I don't try to lose my temper, no one does.  

Back to the verse.   "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly."

When things don't go as planned, when my hooks manifest themselves, am I patient?  Or like the pickle on the plate, do I respond with a quick temper, resulting in folly?

Take some time to identify what your hooks are.  Now think about how you can respond to those times with patience instead of being quick to become angry.  The verse this week is a good reminder to me on how to react when "there's a pickle on my plate."

 

PS - If you want more information on the Pfeiffer Treatment Center, click on the link on the left of my blog entitled "Jacob's Journey."

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

Monday Memory Verse - Proverbs 27:6 - The truth hurts sometimes...

Proverbs 27:6  "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

Growing up the baby with three older brothers, let me just say that I am a tad bit competitive.  No big surprise for anyone who knows me, really.   I've always been like that, even if it meant a little bending of the rules to come out on top.  In my circles of friends these days, I'm the subject of many jokes during any type of game or competition.  Everyone knows I like to win, and it was no different back when my husband was a pastor in Ohio.  Except back then, I didn't quite have a rein on my competitiveness.

You see, one weekend, we had a church-wide scavenger hunt.  We broke into teams.  Mine included my brother Bruce and his wife Anita, who had been visiting the church for several weeks.  We got our lists, and my competitiveness kicked in.  I started devising a way to win, and it started by going straight to the church kitchen.  (What?  The rules didn't explicitly say you had to go door-to-door to get the items!)  So being the loop-hole finder that I was, I saw nothing wrong with starting the scavenger hunt on the church premises...after they said the word "go" of course...I wouldn't want to be accused of cheating or anything.  I actually have no memory if my team won or not, but I very clearly recall a conversation that followed a few days later.

The subject came up when I asked Anita when they were finally going to join the church.  Anita, being the diplomat and non confrontational person that she is, had a really strange look on her face.  But, she wouldn't actually give me a straight answer.  It took a while, but I dragged it out of her.  Anita finally told me that she was offended by my aggressiveness and cheating at the scavenger hunt.  (Cheating?  It hadn't ever occurred to me that I was cheating...I was just being resourceful and trying to win!)  She then went on to say that they really weren't sure they were going to join the church, because I was the pastor's wife, and if acted like that...well...  You can probably fill in the blanks.

At that point, I had a choice to make.  I could become indignant and argue that what I had done was not cheating.  Or I could listen to the Holy Spirit who used Anita in my life to confront my competitive spirit.  I listened to the Holy Spirit, and I listened to Anita.  I asked her to forgive me, and I told her that she was right.  I asked the Lord to forgive me, too.  And at that point, I committed to not cheat in games anymore.  And truly, to my knowledge, I haven't.  Mind you, I'm still quite competitive; that hasn't changed.  The difference is that I may want to win, but I don't have to win.

Back to the verse to memorize for this week.  "Wounds from a friend can be trusted..."

To hear Anita call me a cheater, even if it was the truth, hurt.  Perhaps for the first time in my life, I was caught, and it didn't feel so great.  It was a wound, an open one at that.  But by Anita pouring truth into my life that day, I was able to confront sin, and God was able to bring about change. 

Sometimes we have to speak truth into our friends lives, truth that is neither easy or pleasant.  Truth that might just cause a wound.  Sometimes like me, we are the recipient of a friend's painful words.  Words shared because they love us so much they don't want us to continue down the wrong path.  Those times are never easy, whether we are the giver or the recipient of the wound.  But the Bible says that wounds of a friend can be trusted.  Like Anita, your friend may have your best interest at heart.  Sometimes we have to hear painful things about ourselves for our own good. 

The second half of the verse  says "...but an enemy multiplies kisses."  On the flip side, our enemies may say really sweet things to us, but offer no real help.  A kiss is sweet, right?  Even multiple ones.  But a kiss from our enemy?  It would mean nothing; in fact, it would be a complete turn off, knowing it wouldn't be genuine.  We need to have Godly friends in our lives, and if advice is coming from people who are not Godly, well, they could actually be our enemy.

As I learn this verse this week, I'm going to be asking the Lord to keep my defenses down.  Sometimes it's easy to dismiss truth from friends because I simply don't want to hear it.  In fact, usually if it's negative and about me, I want no part of it.  But God often uses friends in my life to bring about the change He wants.  I want to be honest with my friends, and I want my friends to be honest with me.  The truth hurts sometimes, but in the end, it's best.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Exposed - a Christian or a fraud?

Matthew 5:16  "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they will see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

2 Corinthians 6:3  "We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will no be discredited." 

2 Corinthians 6:17  "...come out from among them and be separate."

I recently read a book about a secular guy who decided to write a story about what it's like to live as and be a Christian.  He went incognito in a Christian setting with young adults his own age.  He chose his words carefully to lead everyone to believe he was a Christian.  He wanted to live with Christians, understand them, understand the Bible, and then compare what he was being taught to how he was actually raised.  He joined prayer groups, praying right along side others.  He joined the choir.  He joined Bible Study groups.  He even went on a mission trip.

I struggled as I read the book..so much so that I'm not even sure I would recommend it to someone.  (Thus, the vague description and no book title listed!)  You see, this guy's final words were something to the effect that most of the Christians he met were no different than his secular friends, and to him, that was a positive thing.  He had overcome his stigma of Christians.  In that sense, Christians were portrayed in a good light...kind of a FOX news 'fair and balanced" approach.  However, it killed me to read his words of how most of the Christians he met were no different than him. 

In the end of his five month Christian indoctrination, the author ultimately did not change his beliefs that there was only one way to get to heaven.  No, his core beliefs didn't change, but his pre-conceived negative slant on Christians did change.  He learned to pray, and he kind of liked that feeling of praying for others.  It made him feel better.  He also found out that serving others makes you feel good, even if you're not serving God.

As I read the book, I really tried to have the same "fair and balanced" approach.  Certainly, I didn't agree with the author's world-view, but I did appreciate the evidential fact that he was trying to understand it all without casting judgment.  There were times that I wanted to write a rebuttal to some of his comments about Christian beliefs that were taken out of context.  In the end, I think it was good for me to read it, because it just enlightened me to my need to be different. 

Think about it.  What if one day you found out that your best friend was hanging out with you, going to church with you, and praying with you---just for a story.  How would you be portrayed in the book?  After finding out the author's real "mission", one of his friends told him, "Man, I wish I would have known.  I would have acted differently."  It pains me to see and read about people who claim to be a Christian - a representative of Christ - but they live their lifestyle no differently than the person who doesn't give a rip about God. 

Reading the book challenged me to live out 2 Corinthians chapter six and especially the verse listed above in Matthew 5.  "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they will see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."  Good works and being a good person don't get me to heaven.  But because of the relationship I have with Jesus Christ, the natural bi-product will be good works.  People should be drawn to Christians, if they are living the way God would expect them to be.  If someone told me I was just like everyone else, I would be devastated and embarrassed.  Sure, I like to fit in with the crowd, wear 'in style' clothes, look good, etc.  But my lifestyle should represent Christ in every aspect so that anyone could observe me and know without a doubt that I have a growing relationship with God.

Here's some questions to ponder...

1.  Do I have friends in my circle that do not have a relationship with Christ?
2.  Am I any different from those friends?
3.  If someone wrote an expose about me, what would they say?
4.  Would I be exposed as a Christian or a fraud?
5.  Do I have a growing relationship with the Lord?  (Bible reading, times of confession, prayer)
6.  Am I conscious of my sin or the sins I struggle with?
7.  What am I doing to actively reach friends who do not know the Lord?
8.  Do I even care?

If you are one of my friends who do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please talk to me.  Email me.  Consider choosing Christ.  Living the Christian life is not about a bunch of rules and regulations.  On the contrary.  I have such joy and freedom because I know Who I'm anchored to. 

Just think about it.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Monday Memory Verse - Matthew 18:15 - Confrontation God's Way

Matthew 18:15  "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.  If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."

{This story is used with permission from my husband Frank, so if you know him, please don't take offense.}

On a recent family vacation, my fourteen year old daughter Amber heard some other teenagers at the hotel pool trash-talking my husband and I.  Specifically, she heard one of them say something about "the fat guy in the hot tub."  Now, there were only two people in the hot tub - Frank and I.  I'm certainly no dude, so the only logical target of the trash talking was Frank.  As a side note, in case you do not know my husband, the mental image that one would concoct of "a fat guy in the hot tub" is not a fair assessment.

Now, we had no idea what was being said, but Amber did, and she felt the need to do something about it.  Upon hearing them bash her dad, the protective assertive daughter that we have reared kicked in.  She swam over to them and very calmly and directly said, "That 'fat guy' in the hot tub -- yeah, well, that's my dad, and he's actually pretty cool." 

Can you imagine the look on the girls faces when Amber confronted them?  First of all, they had no clue that the "fat guy in the hot tub's" daughter was just a few feet away.  They also probably never imagined a teenager would actually defend a parent, let alone praise them.  Needless to say, the trash talking stopped...immediately.  Amber wasn't nasty, she was just firm, honest, and direct.

Now, certainly Amber's confrontation of those girls in the pool is not an example of Biblical confrontation, nor is it an example of what the verse for this week is specifically talking about.  Amber could have easily just ignored the problem and not been disobeying the instructions Jesus gives us in the verse.  Matthew 18:15 is talking specifically about what Christians should do when other Christians have offended them.  However, the concept is similar. 

Confrontation.  For most people, it's not easy.  What is easy is ignoring a problem, sweeping it under the rug, or running from it.   Unfortunately, churches are filled with transfer members.  These are people who got upset at their church and instead of trying to resolve the issues, they just left in search of a "better" one.  Having been in the ministry most of my adult life, unfortunately, I know countless of these Christians.

For me, confrontation comes rather easy.  I've told my friends many times that if I'm upset or offended by something, they will hear it from me first.  When my relationships go awry, whether with family or friends, I can't sleep.  I hash things over in my brain until I'm nearly sick.  I need to resolve matters so life can move on for me.  That's how I'm wired.  However, this strength of confrontation for me also comes with a weakness.  I often have such an urgent need to resolve issues that sometimes I do not always choose the appropriate times to get things settled.  My weak area isn't in the confrontation; it's in the timing of the confronting.

Let's break the verse down in more detail...

If your brother sins against you...
Jesus specifically tells us that confrontation should take place when we personally are involved. 

go and show him his fault...
This is the tough part.  No one is perfect.  We are human.  It's so easy to be offended by another's comments or words or to offend someone with ours.  If confrontation is necessary, remember Philippians 2:3.  It's a great companion verse to memorize when dealing with relationship issues.  "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than themselves."  We must have the right heart attitude and ask God for help when it comes to actually confronting the situation.  Remember, "the tongue has the power of life and death."  (Proverbs 18:21) 

Just between the two of you.
Friends "sharing" with friends is one of the most dangerous things in today's churches.  In plain English, most of the time it's just gossip - and sin.  If you need a sounding board, it's best to talk to someone completely removed from the situation who doesn't even know the parties involved.  But, Jesus specifically says to work it out one-on-one. 

If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
Aside from contrary belief, confrontation is not something to dread.  When confronting in a Biblical way, with the right heart attitude, and speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), it can be a beautiful thing.  I have personally witnessed my damaged relationships be restored by taking care of things the way God would want me to.  Sometimes it has taken years after I've confronted situations before the relationship has been restored.  Still, some others never get back to the point that they were before the conflict, but those are few and far between. 

On the flip side of confronting someone who has offended you, sometimes it's me who is being confronted because of my loose lips.  Ouch!  That's even tougher to handle.  It's never easy to hear something negative about myself.  But sometimes the truth hurts, and I just have to face it.  I have to pray for an open mind.  Acknowledge the truth.  Ask for forgiveness.  Learn from my mistakes.  Choose to love.  And choose to move on.

Obedience is what God expects from us.  The verse is not a suggestion.  It's a conditional command.  Jesus says, If your brother sins against you, go."  If you read through the rest of this passage, it's clear that the instructions Jesus gives are for in the context of the church, Christian to Christian, and it also includes church discipline. 

Today I've personally had to face the truth about a relationship I hold dear.  I've had to admit how I've been wrong and hurt someone I love.  But because I've not shoved it under the rug or ignored the situation, because I've dealt with it the way God would want me to, I believe the relationship is now back on the path of restoration and growth.

So next time you hear "fat guy in the hot tub" (or anything that digs deep) -- deal with it in a Godly way.  That's one expression that will never be forgotten in my family!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Monday Memory Verse - Psalm 34:8 - Try Him, You'll Like Him!

Psalm 34:8  "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

 

 

When my kids were younger, I used to bribe them to try new foods. We would go to a buffet, and I would say, "I'll give you a dollar if you taste this."  Usually, they would take me up on it just to get the money, but sometimes the 'looks' of the food or the 'smell' would keep them from trying.  My son would never have learned that he loves sweet potato casserole if I hadn't done that.  I might also add that both of my children know without a shadow of doubt that they will never eat another brussel sprout again because of my tactics.

Do you know the feeling when you put a piece of chocolate in your mouth and all the endorphins are released as it melts and trickles down your throat, causing your mouth to salivate even more?  (OK, perhaps only women can relate to that experience...)  But think about it.  Do you ever feel that way about God?  Can you TASTE Him?  Do you soak up His goodness and savor Him as much as you savor your favorite food?  Do you have that "mmmmmm" feeling when you spend time with Him?

I have several friends I've been praying for that don't have a relationship with Jesus. I try to talk with them about the Lord and explain to them how incredible a relationship with God can be.  Yet, for whatever reason, some do everything in their power to deny the existence of God Himself, and some simply have no desire to understand what being a Christian is all about. They are happy with life, and that's all that matters. As I think about this verse, I just keep coming back to the fact that if they would just TASTE God, they would understand why He's so good.

Why?  Why won't they give God a chance?  Why won't they TASTE Him?  Like my kids at the buffet, is it because of how we (Christ-followers) look?  Is it because those of us who call ourselves Christians don't resemble Christ in how we act, day in and day out?  They see Christians as either hypocritical bigots or crazy people who are so caught up in heavenly things that they are of no earthly good.  Is it because of how the world portrays Christians in television and movies?

Or do people not choose to follow Christ because of how we 'smell' to them?  Do we swallow our pride and admit when we're wrong and ask for forgiveness?  What kind of odor do we give off to those around us?  How many times have you heard someone say, 'and they're supposed to be a Christian!"  

 

When I worked at the American Automobile Association (AAA) years ago, before I ever started, the manager gathered up all the employees ahead of time to warn them I was a Christian and my husband was a pastor in the area.  By the time I arrived, as you can imagine, I had some serious walls to tear down.  I remember talking to one of my friends at lunch one afternoon who was talking negatively about someone else and said, "she's one of those born-again Christians."  I just looked at her with amazement and said, "Well, I'm a born again Christian!"  Her response, 'Well, you're a different kind of born-again Christian."  It's sad.  There shouldn't be two different kinds of Christians.  Our life should match our talk, and our talk should match our walk - always.  Do I leave a sour taste in the lives of those I meet?  Do I give Christ a bitter name instead of a sweet one filled with honey?

O Taste and see that the Lord is good!  The only way someone can taste the Lord is by personally experiencing Him.  I can't just "take your word for it."  It's a personal interaction with God.  How I wish I could just persuade some friends, like in that old Life cereal commercial, "Just try Him, you'll like Him!"

 

Then the second part of the verse says, 'blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."  Unfortunately, our part of Texas has a lot of tornadoes each year.  When we hear the sirens going off, the whole family knows right where to go.  We go to the strongest part of the house where we know we'll be safe.  That's the same way with God.  Whether the storm is approaching or passing, He is there to be our safe place. 

 

I'm challenged even more so today to live a life of purpose so that people will notice something different about me.  I want to live my life so that people want to 'taste' what I'm feasting on.  Taste Him.  Enjoy Him.  Trust Him daily.  Experience how good He is.  Lean on Him - the Strong Tower.  Don't take my word for it...try Him for yourself, you'll like Him!  That's the kind of thing that makes me go  mmmmmmmmmm!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com