GodandMe2theMax

Be Sure your sins will find you out...Proverbs 28:13

Proverbs 28:13  "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."

Be sure your sins will find you out.

It was our first year of marriage, and it was Halloween time.  Candy was everywhere in the stores.  If you know me, you know chocolate is my weakness.  Everywhere I turned, it seemed like those bags of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups were calling my name.  We really had no money, and in fact, at that time, we were going in the hole each month.  But those Reese's Cups still kept a-calling. 

My husband was a pastor in Ohio, and I remembered hearing another lady in the church talk about her "stash" of chocolate that she hid from her husband.  (She had chocolate-induced migraines, but she loved her chocolate so much that it was worth it.  Her husband, however, was not so fond of the migraines, and that's why she felt the need to have her "stash.")  Lightbulb illuminated in my head.  Hmmm.  Maybe I could go ahead and get those Reese's Cups and just have my little "stash" so my husband wouldn't know...

Now, problem #1 with that is that I knew my husband wouldn't want me to waste money we didn't have on chocolate.  Problem #2 is that my husband doesn't even like chocolate.  We had no children at the time to get into my little greedy stockpile, so there was absolutely no need to hide my purchase.  The truth is, if I did give in to temptation and purchase those Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, it really would have been ok with him.  It would not have been the unpardonable sin in the Banfill home to spend $3 on something we didn't need.  So if I did go ahead and purchase those Reese's Cups, I certainly didn't need to hide them.  

But no.  Not only did I buy, but I also stashed those Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in what I thought was a very safe place.  Now, you have to understand.  I was young.  And apparently, I wasn't only young, I was stupid, too.  You see, I grew up in a home with an electric stove, but the home we lived in during our first few years of marriage had a gas oven.  You may know where this is going, and it is not a pretty thought.  Yes, I stashed that bag of Reese's Cups in the "storage" drawer of the oven.  A storage drawer, right?  That's where my mom always kept a bunch of pots/pans/lids when I was growing up.  Little did I know that in a gas oven, that's no storage drawer -- that's called a broiler.

So one Wednesday, I called up my husband at the church and asked him what he wanted for dinner.  "Spaghetti?"  I suggested.  "No, how about fishsticks?"  he replied.  "How about spaghetti?"  "No fishsticks."  We went back and forth, but when it was apparent I would not be persuading him, I actually said in gest, "OK, I will be a submissive wife and make those fishsticks."

That's when the problem started.

I pre-heated the oven, and then I jumped on the couch in the other room and turned on Oprah.  Now, I always kept my oven pretty clean, so when I was on the couch and smelled something burning, I just assumed something had spilled over into the stove from the previous time it was used.  I jumped up, pulled the layer of tin foil off the wire rack, put the fishsticks in, and jumped back on the couch to watch more Oprah.

Within a few minutes, I looked up and noticed soot flying out of my kitchen.  I jumped up and ran to the kitchen, only to find flames shooting out of the back of my oven, my kitchen filled with smoke, and me still clueless as to the problem.  I called my husband at the church, trying to stretch the phone cord almost out the door to get away from the smoke.  My husband had already left the church, so then I decided to call 911.  Why I decided to call him first instead of the fire department, I can't even explain.  I told you I was young and stupid. 

The fire department came.  They cleared the house, and eventually they let me back in one of the back bedrooms.  I cried, still unaware of the real problem.  My husband came home, noticing the fire department at our house.  In a panic, I heard him yell, "Where's my wife?  Is she ok?"  They directed him to me in the back of the house.  I remember crying in his arms, shaking like a crying baby.  He consoled me and tried to calm me down.  Once the fire was put out, we ventured to the kitchen to talk to the firemen. 

"Do you know what caused it?"  I asked.  The fireman pulled what was left of my Reese's Peanut Butter Cup stash out of the broiler.  "Yes, ma'am.  Can you tell me what this is?"  Eyes wide open, embarrassed, with shock on my face, I answered, "Uh, those are my Reese's Cups I was hiding from my husband." 

The fireman then pulled out my fishsticks from the oven.  His exact words, "Ma'am, I don't think your sausages are salvageable."  Those fishsticks that Frank had his heart set on had shrivelled and darkened up to what looked like Jimmy Dean's breakfast sausages.  I was too much of a basket case to realize I really needed a picture of them, for posterity's sake.  What I wouldn't do to show you the end result of those poor fishsticks.

We ended up having to eat dinner out at the local Chinese restaurant.  Here's the kicker, and it's proof God has a sense of humor.  I mentioned it was a Wednesday.  We had prayer meeting that night, and we were doing spiritual preparation for a revival that was upcoming at our church.  In our prayer meeting, Frank called out a list of references, with those in the congregation randomly volunteering to look up the verses and read them when he called for it.  The verse I randomly chose:  "The Lord does not delight in burnt offerings."

Now, I can look back at that story and laugh.  It's ok, you can, too.  I used to be so embarrassed by it, but I've grown up a little, and I can now laugh at myself.  After all, that was almost twenty years ago!  But the truth is, every thing that led to that fiasco was sin.  Let's call it for what it was.  Sure, there's no sin in buying a bag of candy.  But if you know you really shouldn't, if you know you can't afford it, and certainly, if you think you have to hide the fact that you bought it, there's definite sin involved.  Yes, the Lord did not delight in my burnt offering that day.

Over the last few days, the Lord has repeatedly brought this story to mind, for various reasons.  He's also brought to my mind the question of hidden sin.  Just as regularly as we spend time in prayer interceding for others and praising God, we should also be asking Him to reveal sin in our lives.  This is something too often we neglect to do as Christians.  This is something I've not been disciplined to do, either.  Yet, it's what God expects, nonetheless.

The verse for this week says a person who conceals sin does not prosper.  It goes on to say that if we confess our sin and renounce it, we will find mercy.  Maybe you're not concealing sin, like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup kind of sin, but do you have unconfessed sin in your life?  When is the last time you've asked the Lord to show you what cancerous sin areas He wants to carve away?  The verse says we should renounce our sin.  That means to turn from it! 

I challenge you to make a list of sins.  If you're having trouble thinking of any, you can find some in Colossians 3:7-8.  Are any of these present in your life:  anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, lies?  Later in the chapter, Paul tells us to have compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love.  Those are character qualities Christ commands, and if they aren't present, then that's sin, too.  Think of the fruits of the Spirit, found in Galatians 5:22-23.  What is the antithesis of those things mentioned?

I'll be honest, my first reaction to a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup in the past has been nothing short of lust, but I'm hoping to change that now.  I hope the next time you see a Reese's Cup, you'll use it as a reminder for self-examination.  To grow closer in our walk with the Lord, we must have regular times of confession, admitting the sin.  Then we must also renounce the sin and turn from it. 

Confession and renouncing sin can be painful and raw.  I admit it, it's not easy seeing the ugly truth about yourself...the truth you try to hide from everyone...the truth you don't want anyone to see.  The end result, however, is being conformed to God's image.  I don't know about you, but that is my end goal, no matter how hard it hurts.  That's what matters in life, becoming more like Christ.  It's my prayer for each of you this week that you will set aside time for prayer focusing on confession of sins.

Be sure your sin will find you out.  Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, anyone?

 

 

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

 

 

"Do-Over" - God gives second chances...Jonah Chapter three

My mom is perhaps the fairest grandma in the world.  She also has the gift of giving (or maybe that's buying...)  If it's on sale, she'll buy it and store it up for a good gift.  She has five grandsons and one granddaughter from two of her three boys and me.  If she bought one t-shirt for a grandchild, she bought six, all in different colors.  If she bought an alarm clock for one, she would buy one for all six grandchildren.  A mistake, perhaps, but it was only out of love that she did this.  She wanted to be the best grandma she could be, and with six grandchildren, the last thing she would want is to play favorites...or to be accused of having favorites!

However, one day I had to have a sit down with her.  "You have to love them the way they need to be loved, mom.  You can't just give cookie-cutter gifts and expect them to love everything you give them.  Take some time and only offer things that you think they will really like...things that will mean something special to them.  They don't care about receiving things...They only care if you took the time to really know them for who they are...It's the thought that goes behind the gift, not the gift itself.  Then what you give and do for them will be appreciated more, and they'll appreciate you more.  They would rather you not give them anything at all instead of something without meaning."

OK, the conversation was much more in depth than that, seasoned with words of love, and believe you me, I prayed and prayed before having that difficult conversation with my mom.  I didn't know if she would be offended or how she would take it, but I knew it had to be said.  The relationship between my kids (specifically Amber) and my mom was deteriorating, especially since they saw her only a few times a year, at best.  My mom's constant attempts to show her love with gift giving weren't being received in the way she intended.  In fact, it was creating a wedge between them.

My mom received well what I said, and the next time she saw Amber, she sat down with her one on one.   "Can Gram have a do-over?"  She asked her for forgiveness, and she then started down a road of re-building their Gram-Am relationship. 

Well, as I read in Jonah chapter three today, I see the same thing.  God gave Jonah a "do-over."  My God is a God of second chances, not just for Jonah, but for the people of Nineveh, too!

Jonah 3
1) Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time.
2) "Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you."
3) Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh.  Now Nineveh was a very important city - a visit required three days.
4) On the first day, Jonah started into the city.  He proclaimed, "Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned."
5) The Ninevites believed God.  They declared a fast, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth.
6) When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust.
7) Then he issued a proclamation in Nineveh:  "By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything: do not let them eat or drink.
8) But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth.  Let everyone call urgently on God.  Let them give up their evil ways and their violence.
9) Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish."
10) When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction He had threatened.

I love verse one.  Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time.  How many times is that true in our lives?  How many times does God speak to us about an area in our life.  We listen.  We nod.  Then like Jonah, we run the other way.  Maybe not blatantly run the other way, but eventually we find ourselves far from where He's called us or asked us to be.  Sometimes God nudges us; sometimes He slaps us with the Truth...not just once, but over and over.  Yes, my God is a God of second chances (and thirds and fourths), and I'm so glad He is. 

He is faithful.  He lets me ask for a do-over.  He forgives, and He restores.  Think about the Ninevites.  They were wicked people.  In Jonah's mind, they did not deserve God's forgiveness or mercy.  Yet, the power of God is so strong that they believed.  Imagine the whole city coming to faith in God?  That's exactly what happened, and it was the last thing Jonah ever expected.

Repentance is not just saying you're sorry or even acknowledging you've done something wrong.  It's not a passive verb.  To repent is to turn the other way.  The Ninevites didn't just believe the message Jonah proclaimed, they took action to change their ways.  They heard the prophet proclaim that God was going to overturn the city in forty days.  They believed.  They repented.  And they changed.  God granted them a do-over.

I wonder if we simply spoke up more about the Gospel, what would people's reactions really be?  Sure, it was nothing less than a miracle for the entire wicked city of Nineveh to come to Christ, yet God used one man to proclaim the message.  A man who didn't really even want them to believe.  We have too many closet Christians, afraid to go, afraid to tell.  Maybe we're like Jonah - we think that a particular people group just won't ever change.  Maybe we feel ill-equipped to tell others.  Maybe we're just not 'comfortable' sharing Christ with people we know.  As I think about Jonah, do you think he was really 'comfortable' sharing this Message with his arch-enemy?  I doubt it, yet he was obedient.

Yes, God gave the people of Nineveh a do-over.  He had compassion on them because they turned from their evil ways.  In fact, Matthew 12:39-41 says in the judgment, the men of Nineveh will stand up and condemn the Israelites for their failure to repent.  I wonder if they will also condemn other nations, even this great nation that we live in?  I'm not sure, but I do know that the same God who gave Nineveh the do-over is the same One who offers do-overs to me.  I hope He doesn't have to threaten to destroy my city to get me to repent the next time, but I'm thankful for the mercy He shows me.

Help me Lord to listen more and act on my own less.  Help me to obey the first time; I don't want to take advantage of your offer for a do-over, but I'm thankful you offer forgiveness when we repent.  Thank you for second chances.

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Judas...Peter...and Me

Judas.  Not a name listed near the top of the most popular baby names.  Aside from the rock band Judas Priest, I don't know of anyone else with that name.  Variations, maybe, but still an unlikely choice for expecting parents.

I've been reading in the Gospels the last few weeks, and this morning I can't seem to get Judas Iscariot and Peter's denial of Christ out of my mind.  I have so many random thoughts about this right now...perhaps I'm in need of some ADD medicine to sort them all out.  I unfortunately have none prescribed to me, so coffee will have to do.

First, Jesus chose Judas Iscariot as one of His twelve disciples.  Yes, even though Jesus knew the decision Judas would ultimately make, Jesus wanted Him to be a disciple.  I Peter 3:9 says "the Lord is not willing for any to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."  Jesus chose Judas.  And Jesus chooses everyone.  He died for the world, and if you're part of the world, then He died for you.  How many millions of people throughout history have rejected Christ as Lord, just like Judas?  How many millions of people today know about Christ, but they do not choose to make a commitment for Him.

Then I think of Judas' free choice to commit the acts he did.  Out of greed, selfish ambition, frustration, or perhaps we'll never know, but Judas chose to turn Jesus over for thirty pieces of silver.  (Mark 14:10)  Of course Jesus knew the ultimate plan, but Judas acted on his own free will.  God didn't make him do it so he could be a puppet in the historical plan.  God never forces us against our will.  That's one thing I love about Christianity.  Some people think it's a bunch of rules to follow.  I believe it's just the opposite.  I have such joy and freedom in my life because of my relationship with Jesus Christ.   

I often wonder how Judas could be part of the twelve, daily walk with Jesus, yet not realize He was the Christ, the Promised One.  From what I can tell through Scripture, Judas looked like a disciple.  He hung out with the disciples.  He ate at the Last Supper with the other disciples.  Yet, I don't think he ever truly realized who Jesus was.  The notes in my NIV Study Bible use the term an "uncommitted pretender."  I wonder how many Judas' we have around us.  People we think are followers of Christ because they hang with the right crowd.  Only God knows our hearts, but studying Judas definitely gives me pause to think.

It's easy to point the finger at Judas; after all, he's the one who betrayed Jesus.  Yet sometimes we forget every single one of those disciples deserted Jesus when He was taken out of the Garden.  Yes, Peter watched from a distance, but when recognized, he denied knowing Him...not once, but three times.  Peter likely figured if he was identified with Jesus then he would suffer the same painful consequences. 

Now, I consider myself a committed Christian, yet I often wonder what I would have done if I had been in Peter's shoes.  You see, I'm a big chicken when it comes to pain.  I avoid it at all costs; really, who doesn't?  If I have dental work done, even the slightest bit, I ask for extra gas.  I was mortified to learn a few years ago that I had to have a thyroid biopsy done with no pain medication...nothing to even calm me down.  Surprisingly, I made it through without a problem.  You see, I actually have a fairly high pain tolerance.  The problem is a big four letter word - FEAR.  It is what controls me in these situations.  Yes, Beth and Fear are not a good combination.  So as Christians, it's easy to point the finger at Peter or at those who abandoned Jesus.  I would like to think I wouldn't be with that crowd.  In my heart, I can purpose that I will take a stand for Christ no matter what the threat on my life is.  Peter said the same thing.  "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you."  (Mark 14:31)  But like Peter, until that point of reckoning comes, actions speak louder than words.

Back to Judas.  The Bible says he regretted what he had done.  He was so miserable with his actions that he tried to return the 30 pieces of silver.  He realized he had made a mistake...but it was too late to undo the wrong done.  In his own misery, he hung himself.  How I wish this story ended differently.  How I wish Judas had just waited three more days to see the truth in the situation.  Yes, Jesus would die, but three days later He would conquer sin and death.  How I wish Judas would have reconciled with Jesus before taking his life. 

How many times do we take similar actions as Judas?  No, we may not commit high treason and suicide, but we often realize we've made a huge mistake in our life.  But then, like Judas, we stop there.  We're miserable with the choices we've made.  Miserably depressed.  Why is it so hard to swallow our pride and go to the person we've wronged to ask for forgiveness?  Why don't we go to Jesus Christ and ask Him to forgive us for our actions?

In a sense, I pity Judas.  He experienced life with Christ, but he had no idea what it meant to live for Christ.  There's so many things to learn from this well known Bible story--so many parallels to life today and decisions we make.  This morning I'm praying for strength in times of fear.  I'm praying for boldness in times of confrontation.  I'm praying for reconciliation in broken relationships.  And I'm praying for salvation for those who are rejecting Christ, like Judas did.  No, I am not a Judas, but in this context, I don't want to be a Peter, either.  I just want to be the best faithful Beth, follower of Christ, I can be. 

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

 

Monday Memory Verse – Colossians 4:5-6 “Please pass the salt!”

As I prayed about the next verse for our "Groupies4God" to learn, the Lord kept drawing me back to Colossians.  We now have over 300 members learning God's Word together, and I realize that some of you already have the verse that I've chosen memorized.  If that's the case, please search out another verse for the week and commit it to memory.  Stay with your commitment and keep memorizing!  It doesn't matter what version you choose to learn in, just be sure to follow through and have someone to hold you accountable.

Colossians 4:5-6  "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.  Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

Be wise in the way we act toward outsiders...
As I studied this week, this phrase just jumped out at me.  What is an outsider?  Simply put, someone who does not belong to a particular group.  In this case, the Bible refers to an "outsider" as a person who is without Christ.  It refers to any person who has never made a commitment to put their faith and trust in Jesus Christ...someone who is not a Christian--a Christ-follower. 

Unfortunately, today's society has watered down the meaning of what a Christian is.  There are a lot of people out there who believe there is a God...so they call themselves a Christian.  We have to be careful to discern good people from Godly people, especially in relation to this verse.  I know a lot of "good" people.  But being "good" doesn't get you to heaven.  It's only by having a relationship with Jesus.  By telling Him you believe He came to earth, died, was buried, and rose again.  When He rose from the dead, He conquered sin and death and made a way for us to get to heaven.  And it's only when you ask Him to come into your life and forgive you of your sins and save you...when you ask Him to take control and start a relationship with Him that you actually become a Christian.  When you've made that commitment, you're no longer an 'outsider' to God.  I have had conversations with people who know what the Bible teaches, and sometimes they just assume that because someone goes to a particular church or is part of a denomination that they are a Christian.  It's not about a religion, though.  It's about a relationship with Jesus.  "Outsiders" surround us on a daily basis.  In order to study this verse, I think we have to look first at what an outsider is, ask God to show you at least one in your circle of friends, and then try to understand the application of rest of the verse.

The book of Colossians was written by Paul.  The first two chapters deal mostly with what Christ did for us.  The second half of the book deals mostly with what Christians should do.  It gives instruction for daily living.  So when Paul says to 'be wise in the way we act toward outsiders' it makes me pause.  If I am not careful in how I represent Christ to those around me, I bring shame to God.  Have you ever noticed that Christians today are under the media microscope?  How many times have you heard someone say, "And they're supposed to be a Christian!"  Of course, my life needs to be consistent when dealing with Christians and non Christians alike, but it seems that non-Christians look at Christians through a magnifying glass.  They want to see if we are living out in our lives what they think a Christian should look like.  As we make choices in our actions, it's important to filter those choices through what God would want for us.  Am I going to choose to lose my temper at the lack of customer service I'm experiencing?  Am I going to complain to my boss about another employee because it makes me look better?  Am I going to guard the words that come out of my mouth, to be sure they will always bring honor to God?  The Bible says we need to be wise in our actions.

...make the most of every opportunity
The opportunity this is talking about is the opportunity to tell others about God.  I have 5 people on my prayer list right now that are 'outsiders.'  My relationship with each of them is different, and my contact with them varies.  But with each of them, I have an opportunity to reflect God working in my life in some degree or fashion.  But if I am not looking for an opportunity, then I will probably miss it.  My pastor recently preached on "Missed Opportunities" from the story of David and Barzillai in 2 Samuel 19.  He had some of the most simple but powerful points. 

1.  If you're looking for an excuse, you'll always find one. 
2.  Opportunity is not about what you've done, but what we can or are about to do.
3.  An opportunity passed always remains a question mark in this lifetime.
4.  God's opportunities never go unfulfilled.
5.  God always wants us to go farther with Him.
 
For me, I'm challenged as I write this that not only do I need to be praying for those 'outsiders' on my list each day, but I need to be praying that God would show me opportunities to invite them in to the family of God.  I may never know (in this lifetime) how my actions have positively or negatively affected someone's views of God.  My choices very well could influence another person's eternity.

Let your conversation be always full of grace...
How many times have you seen the media interview a Christian about a particular 'hot topic' and the Christian ends up enraged while defending his beliefs.  I've seen it happen too often.  I have watched in disgust at how they were given the opportunity to be an ambassador for Christ, but instead brought shame to Him.  I believe that is what this verse is talking about.  When we tell others about Christ, it's important to always be gracious in what we say.  No matter how good the Message is that we are trying to get across, if we don't deliver it in a courteous way, it loses its effectiveness.

Part of my job used to be teaching customer service skills to my staff.  The people in the office didn't realize it, but I always tried to apply this verse to what I was teaching them.  If any employee chooses the wrong words to say to a customer, they could be fired.  Yet, how many times do we choose to use inappropriate conversation with others--whether it's gossip, a slip of an occasional bad word, or just blatant loss of temper?  The Bible says in Psalm 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord."  I have to let God do the work in my heart, and if that happens, the words that come out of my mouth will more likely be what He wants me to say.  I'm so thankful God doesn't fire us when we mess up!  We have a clause in our contract that says "no one can pluck us out of His hand!"  When me mess up, we only need to ask Him to forgive us, and He gladly does.

...seasoned with salt...
I love this phrase.  Like probably most kids, my son Jacob hates vegetables, yet we make him eat some every day.  Sometimes the taste is so overwhelming to him that he cries out, "Can I at least put some salt on this?"  What does salt do?  It adds flavor.  It makes something tasty.  I love the verse in Psalm 34:8 "O taste and see that the Lord is good!"  How are people going to taste and see that God is good unless we make him attractive?  Salt not only adds flavor, but it is a preservative that makes you thirsty.  Wouldn't it be awesome if our speech and actions made someone thirst for God?

...so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Why should we have the right kind of conversation and take the opportunities before us?  So that we can have the right response to everyone.  Now, that's a pretty hard task.  But if our conversation is seasoned with salt, it should encourage further dialog about Christ.  We may not necessarily have all the answers.  But the more we study God's Word and allow Him to penetrate us, the more answers we will be able to provide. 

So today, I'm asking God to not only help me memorize these verses this week but to really apply them.   I'm praying for wisdom and for seasoned conversation!  I'm asking Him to open my eyes to more opportunities to tell others about Him. I'm asking Him to dig deeper into my life.  I know He can't do that unless I have soft enough soil for him to dig, and that starts with my willingness to let Him change me from the inside out.  Please pass the salt, Lord!

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Integrity...It's on my bucket list...

As I read about David this morning, a phrase jumped out at me in Psalm 78:72.  It was talking about David as he cared for his sheep and it says:  'he fed them according to the integrity of his heart.'  Integrity.  I know David had it at one time, then when he sinned with Bathsheba, he lost it.  He got tripped up by the devil, in a big way.  Yet, even with a black mark on his character, the Bible still refers to him as a 'man after God' own heart.' 

So this morning, I started to think about the word integrity.  I found some interesting definitions.  An undivided or unbroken completeness.  Steadfast adherence to a strict moral code.  The state of being unimpaired; soundness.  The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

Probably like you, I care about what people think of me.  I admittedly am a people pleaser, but I usually will draw the line when pleasing people conflicts with what God is telling me to do.  I work hard to be consistent in my character, and integrity is something I want people to say that I have. 

But, have you ever had a time in your life where you have had to eat humble pie?  A time when everything you have worked for has come crashing down?  Earlier this year, I seemingly ruined in a split second my entire reputation with my daughter Amber's school.  (I will preface this by saying that I was on some major headache medicine, and it definitely altered my judgment, but I still had to take responsibility for my actions.) 

I confronted a teacher via email on what I thought were some inconsistencies in her grading.  Her response (from a medicated parent's point of view) was unacceptable.  Instead of guarding my reputation, praying about the next step, or just dropping ‘the battle’, what did I do?  I forwarded her email to another parent, who had the same problem with the teacher.  In it, I slammed the teacher and put some pretty negative labels on her.  By accident, that parent forwarded my email directly to the teacher with her own complaints in it, cc'ing me. 

When I opened my friend's email to the teacher and noticed what she had innocently done, can you imagine my devastation?  Not only was I confronted with my sin of being a talebearer, but I was hit in the face with the fact that my reputation was destroyed.  The damage had been done.  I couldn’t fix it.  I was broken.  I knew I had not only hurt my reputation by my actions, but more so, I knew I hurt the reputation of the One who I represent.

The principal got involved, and it was all a complete and utter mess, as Simon Cowell would say.  All I could do was admit I was wrong and ask for forgiveness.  I took responsibility for my actions, and I had to start from scratch on building my reputation again.  I could have blamed my actions on the medicine.  I could have tried to explain my irrational behavior.  But, when you blame the situation on something else, that’s not taking responsibility, and I knew that.

Integrity.  In a split second, I lost mine.  I acted in the flesh, and it all went downhill from there.  In hindsight, I know if I had been talking to God about the situation instead of my silly friend who is not well-versed in how to run e-mail programs, then I certainly would not have been in the situation I was in.

When you think of David, what’s one of the top stories that come into your mind?  Killing Goliath maybe ranks as the #1 answer if you ask a child.  But I dare say that most adults who know the life stories of David think first of his sin with Bathsheba.  In a split second, his public integrity was gone.  (Although we can reasonably argue that his integrity started to fade the moment he let the temptation of sin take root in his life!)

David buried the sin so deep and tried to cover it up in several ways.  You know, the more we try to hide our sin, the harder it is to admit it when we finally get ‘caught’?  I'm thinking "You da man!" is not what David wanted to hear from Nathan the prophet.  It took Nathan's finger pointing for David to confront his own sin.  He did finally ‘come clean.’  He prayed and asked for forgiveness.  He said “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”  Yet, the Bible still refers to David as a ‘man after God’s own heart.’  I am so thankful we have a God who forgives.  He is faithful.  All I have to do is ask  Him!  When I repent, like David, he washes me clean, and he restores me.

So how do I guard my reputation?  How do I build integrity in my life?  Look back to the definition.  Steadfast adherence to a strict moral code.  We have the moral code of ethics in God’s word.  We just have to study it…to internalize it!  That's just another reason why I am committed to memorizing a verse of Scripture each week.  Psalm 119 says "Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee!"  

The state of being unimpaired.  I can have integrity by being unimpaired...by sin, medicine, and the influence of others.  How often do I let others influence my decisions in life instead of letting God lead me?  Probably more than I even realize.

And finally, the quality or condition of being whole or undivided.  The only way I can be ‘undivided’ is by not letting sin take root in my life.  It's only when I put my eyes on the goal and don't go to the left or to the right...just straight where He wants me to go...that I can truly serve God.

Psalm 26:1 says “Judge me, O Lord, for I have walked in mine integrity.  I have trusted also in the Lord; therefore I shall not slide.”

No one is perfect.  We all make mistakes.  Having integrity doesn't mean you're without sin.  It’s how we confront the mistakes in our life that builds integrity.  When I trust God for decisions, even the simple every-day ones like e-mailing a teacher, I won’t slide.  (Proverbs 3:5-6)   It's then that I will have a single-hearted devotion. 

Integrity.  It's on my 'bucket list.'  How about you?

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

Free to forgive...

I think it's safe to say that we are who we are today, in part, because of our past.  Now, I'm not saying we are slaves to our past, but what happened to us throughout our lives has shaped us into the person we are today.  The decisions we make today are either because we've not broken free from our past or we make decisions to be the kind of person we are today because we don't want to be like we were in the past. 

I was challenged this morning in my quiet time to dialog with God.  Not just pray, but listen to what He has to say about my past, especially in the area of forgiveness.  Now, I am a confrontational person; I like to think it's a strength of mine.  I can't stand for conflict to take root in my life and not be resolved.  But this morning I asked God to show me if I needed to forgive anyone in my life, and if I needed to ask forgiveness of anyone.  I asked God to dig deep into what I've buried, deeper than I wanted to go.  Deeper than I've allowed my thoughts to visit in a long time.

God showed me a situation that happened long ago, and He convicted me that I have let it shape who I am today.  At this point, I can't go confront the person, he is no longer alive.  But, I can choose to forgive.  I can choose to no longer be gripped by the pain of the past.  I can choose to allow Christ to heal the scars in my life, and like a Potter, mold me into the creation He wants me to be.  (Isaiah 64:8)  I made the choice.

It doesn't matter how badly a person has hurt you.  When Jesus died on the cross, what were some of His last words? "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."  When people hurt us, sometimes they have no idea how deep the wounds go.  Yet, Christ, in all His glory, came to earth and suffered a terrible death for you and me so we could have forgiveness.  Those wounds went pretty deep, wouldn't you say?  He still has the scars in his hands to prove it.  With that perspective, I'm convicted that there's nothing so bad in my past that I can't forgive the offender.  Jesus died for that person, too.

The Bible says to 'put off' bitterness.  It says in Matthew 6:12 that we should ask God to forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  Remember the parable in the Bible of the master who forgave the debts of his servant?  What did that servant do?  Instead of going to the people who owed him money and forgiving their debts, he went and tried to collect.  When we harbor bitterness, it's just like holding on to the debts that people owe us. 

God is telling me today that I have to make the choice to forgive, once and for all.  I can't do it without His help.  It's painful...to let go of those angry feelings, especially when I've held on to them for so long.  I'm still going to have the scars from the past, but it's only when I let go of the bitterness that God can move in and heal.  This morning, I've made the decision.  It's a done deal, and I'm not looking back. 

I am free to forgive!

I love this song by the Newsboys...I Am Free!

Through You the blind will see
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise
Through You all hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams, I am free!

I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for you
(I am free to live for you)
I am free
(I am free)

Chorus:
I am free
I am free
I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for you
(I am free to live for you
I am free
(I am free)
Yes I am free

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com

I want to be an Anti-Bacterial, Germ Repelling, Jesus Loving Sponge

January 15^th, 2010

 

I’m a sponge.  I’ve been one most of my adult life.  Now being a sponge isn’t always a bad thing.  A Twinkie is a sponge, right?  ...and they are pretty good!  When you’re surrounded by Godly people, soaking in what they have to offer, that is a good thing, too.  I love to hang out with people who love the Lord.  You can just sense it in the room, and it gives a great feeling.  Soaking in God’s glory is awesome, and trying to learn all you can about God, well, that's the best thing of all. 

 

But soaking up other people’s walk with the Lord and then calling it your own is when being a sponge turns bad.  I have been guilty of that at times more times then I want to admit.  I’m so blessed to have a Godly husband who has walked with the Lord every day I’ve known him.  He’s the spiritual leader in the house, and I must admit that I love letting him lead.  But in doing so, sometimes I’ve just been complacent and soaked up his spirituality for myself.

 

Did you know that kitchen sponges are the #1 source of germs in the whole entire house?  Why?  Those little crevices that make a sponge good for cleaning also make it a nice home for germs.  When you wipe up counters or dishes with a dirty sponge, it only transfers bacteria from one item to the other.  The Good Doctor’s Guide to Colds and Flu recommends you should “wet your sponge and then pop it in the microwave for two minutes to eliminate the germs that lurk inside the crevices.”

 

As I contemplated this whole idea of being a sponge, I started to make some parallels with life and the Christian walk.  If I sit too long without being cleaned, germs creep in.  Sometimes we are on cruise control with God, going through life at 55 mph, and we don’t take time to really confess sin in our life.  Sometimes it’s easier to just forget about that, because seeing your own faults is not a fun thing to do.  When the ‘germs’ get in, sometimes we don’t even realize it.  Life looks and feels the same as it always had, maybe even better.  But I’m reminded that just like the sponge, if I’m not “wrung out” and cleaned, I can be worthless.  Have you ever tried to do ministry when you knew your own life wasn’t right with God?  I have.  I’ve tried to go through the motions, hoping no one would notice.  When I do that, I become ineffective, just like a dirty sponge. 

 

How does a kitchen sponge get cleaned?  In the microwave….through major heat.  Those micro waves penetrate every inch of that sponge because it’s completely enveloped in the oven.  Sometimes the microwaves of life are trials that God allows us to go through to draw us closer to Him.  Sometimes the ‘heat’ is just facing yourself in the mirror and realizing you don’t know the person you’re looking at, then doing something about it.  In my life, it was just realizing I needed to do more for God and allow Him to do more through me.  He’s given me gifts that I wasn’t using, and I was becoming dirty, complacent, and full of germs…ineffective for Him.

 

The cool thing is that once a sponge has gone through ‘the purification process’ it is then ready once again to be used.  I’m sure glad God doesn’t throw us ‘sponges’ away when we get dirty.  When we ask Him, He cleans all our little crevices and allows us to be used once again for Him, at full capacity.

 

So like I said, being a sponge isn’t always a bad thing.  I pray you’ll soak up God’s wisdom and truths each day while at the same time getting rid of the germs that are starting to accumulate.  I know God is challenging me with this same thing...to be an anti-bacterial germ-repelling, Jesus loving sponge!

 

Psalm 119:9 – How shall a person cleanse his way? By putting God’s word into action.

 

Proverbs 16:2 – All the ways of man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weighs the spirits.

 

And I love that simple old song, "Clean Hands, Pure Heart"...those 4 words ring so true!

 

We bow our hearts. We bend our knees

O Spirit come make us humble.

We turn our eyes from evil things

O Lord we cast down our idols.

Give us clean hands; give us pure hearts.

Let us not lift our souls to another.

O God let us be a generations that seeks

That seeks your face, O God of Jacob

 

---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com