When I was a teenager, my friend Anne and I used to take turns blindfolding each other while the other would drive around town. When we were done, the one who was blindfolded had to try to guess where we ended up. We always tried to be pretty creative with our turns and circles, so much that in the end, no matter how hard we tried to follow the turns, the guess of the final destination was usually wrong. Our sneaky lefts and rights had left the other disoriented enough to not know the truth.
That's where I was last night. Blindfolded by some sneaky lefts and rights thrown at me from the deceiver himself...so much to the point that I was disoriented from the truth.
Do you ever get in one of those moods? Maybe you can relate. Everything sets you on edge, and you have this angst in your spirit. Well yesterday evening, I was overcome with that exact emotion. I didn't feel it earlier in the day, but I have a feeling it's been there for a while...building. One thing set me off, and needless to say I got pretty ugly. And stayed that way. Even after everyone went to bed, I laid in bed, unable to sleep, just being plain miserable. Miserable with everyone around me. Miserable with situations out of my control. Miserable with my emotions. Miserable with...me.
As I often do when I can't sleep, I started praying. It's amazing when you ask God to reveal Himself to you how His Holy Spirit does just that. It didn't take long for me to see the problem. Me. (It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out - the problem is always me!) I've had a busy week, back and forth to Jacksonville, Florida, lots of extra hours at work to catch up from being out of the office, and something had to give. Unfortunately, I made the wrong choice, and the thing that "gave" for me was my quiet time.
As a seasoned Christian, I made a calculated error. "It won't matter if I miss spending a few days with my best friend. I'll catch up later, when I have time." The truth is, for me, if I'm not seeking God every single day, then I'm not growing. I went to bed thanking God that His mercies are fresh every morning. I went to bed knowing changes needed to be made in my morning schedule, and today will be different. He removed that blindfold that was disorienting me.
This morning as I sat down to read, the Lord brought my attention to these verses in 2 Peter 1:5-9.
"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. "
"Make every effort." Hmmm...nope, definitely I haven't made every effort to do much of anything but work lately. Ok, well, maybe I've made every effort to do the exact opposite of some of these things. Truth is, it comes so naturally that I didn't have to try much at all. I've defininitely not made every effort to add to my faith goodness, knowledge (and we won't even go there with the self-control issue when it comes to my raging temper the last few days!)...perseverance, godliness, mutual affection (what's that?!?) and love. Love? I've been so blinded.
"Add to your faith." ... "Increasing measure." Not only does God give me a big list of things I should be working on here, but He says to add to my faith and possess these qualities in increasing measure. If I can't measure my growth, if these things are not being added to my character daily, then it doesn't matter how seasoned of a Christian I am, I'm not in God's will, and I have been blindfolded.
You know, most people who are blind do not lose their sight overnight. Sure, some are born blind, and some have injuries that cause immediate blindness, but the majority of people lose their sight, over time. It's a process. And that's just how satan gets us. A little at a time. He chinks away at us when we least suspect it, when our guard is down, hoping to disorient us to the truth of who we are and where we should be in Christ.
I decided I would write what was on my heart about this, and I was shocked to see that I haven't even blogged once this year. Not once. Shame on me. I love writing. I love sharing what God's been doing in my life. But it looks like that blindfold has been attached a little longer than even I was aware.
Let me never forget what God has done for me. How he saved me. What a filthy person I could be and am without Him. Let me never allow the enemy to blindfold me, even for a moment. He is the great deceiver. He will go to no lengths to make lefts and rights and trick me into thinking I should be somewhere else. I am God's child. I will add to my faith. Increase in measure. And I refuse to go blind.
--Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com
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