Isaiah 55:8-9 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."
This is the verse God has had me chewing on the last 24 hours. Maybe a better description is that it's been gnawing at me rather than me chewing on it.
You see, since Wednesday, I've been with my daughter's high school debate team at their national qualifier tournament. By far, it's been the most discouraging competition that I've ever attended as a parent. Our debate team was expected to do very well. The coach told me he's usually nervous going into this tournament, but this year he felt they were more prepared than ever. However, one by one, the leading debaters and orators from our school were dropping like flies, with quite questionable judging. I listened as the students told me about the repeated unfairness in their rounds. Controversy abounded, including in my daughter Amber's event of Original Oratory (OO). I shook my head as she was eliminated from the competition just before the final round.
Amber's speech surrounds the medical journey we've encountered with my son Jacob. It's personal and powerful, and she delivers it incredibly well. In fact, she delivered it perfectly in every round throughout the competition, yet she was still eliminated, in spite of others who advanced while forgetting their lines. A travesty? If you witnessed what I witnessed, you may think so, too. However, my ever spiritual husband reminded me that if God wanted her to go to nationals and tell Jacob's story, He would have provided a way for her to do just that.
"Thank you, Frank, for stating the obvious." OK, ok, he meant well. But sometimes you really don't need your spouse to tell you what you already know. To be honest, that just made me more mad. He meant well, he really did. But the truth is that I didn't want to hear the truth from him. I didn't want to accept this travesty as truth.
We got in at 1 AM Sunday morning, but even though it was late, I was determined to go to church. I knew I needed to. I knew God was going to speak to me. I knew I needed Him to speak to me. Sure enough, He did. You know what He said? He told me, "My ways are not your ways." And when He did, it was as if I heard it for the first time, even though I'd been chewing on it for about 24 hours. I needed Him to whisper that to me. He actually had, via my sweet husband. But at the time, I wasn't willing to listen or accept it. But today I heard it loud and clear as we sang the Hillsong song "Still." The chorus is so powerful:
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God.
I don't know about you, but I just can't sing a song without thinking through every word. I was holding it together until I got to the "I will be still and know You are God" part; then I lost it. How can I sing that if I don't believe it? Can I actually drop the anger and frustration welling within me and "be still?"
With the events of the weekend, was God in control? Sure, my rational mind tells me yes, of course. But the emotional momma in me was outraged, hurt, angered, and just questioned how God could let this happen. I mean, Amber took two second places in OO this year, and first in all the other tournaments where she competed in OO. How could she be eliminated when two of the ones who ended up advancing to nationals had never even taken second to her all year? Why? How? These are questions I'll probably never have concrete black and white answers for. However, God gave me an answer this morning. Simply put, "my ways aren't His ways."
I must say, that Amber is an example to me. She was of course shocked and very upset at first, but she's made a choice to not dwell on it. She's moved on. She knows she did her best, and nothing can take away the pride she feels in doing so.
I sure wish things turned out differently this last weekend, not just for Amber. She's only a sophomore this year, but some of her teammates were seniors, and this was their last chance to go to Nationals. Seniors who like Amber, repeatedly beat out the ones who did end up advancing. But when I am tempted to pick up the anger and emotions again, I must remember these verses in Isaiah 55:8-9 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."
May I reach for higher thoughts and take the higher road. May I learn, and may I grow. And May I fall more in love with Jesus every day as He teaches to trust His ways are best.
---Beth Banfill
www.GodandMe2theMax.com
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